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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 5/30/2008 12:23:49 AM | Well in my world, if you knew my background you would withhold some things... Of course if I was remarried I would tell my husband... That is entirely different... But there are things that some people have in their lives that telling someone could change their entire relationship... So yes in certain things I believe there are SOME things better left unsaid... At least until the person withholding can be SURE they will not be judged for them... Trust me I know from experience... The things I withhold I do so for good measure...
And yes it is an excuse for women but men SHOULD be more considerate if their girlfriend doesn't like porn, versus haha what I've heard from many men "Porn was there before you and it will be there after you." That statement has always cracked me up I've had many best friends cry to me when they've been told that...
Idk why porn is such a big deal though... Honestly it's just boobs, bums, kittys, and "talliwhackers" hehehe figured i'd use some silly words hehehe I'm in the mood to be silly
Everyone has the same stuff, so people shouldn't stress over it... | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 5/30/2008 12:30:27 AM |
And yes there is a place for some things to be left unsaid... I have things in my past I do not tell my partners about even if I've been with them for quite a while... These are things that not even a family member knows about... Some things are left better unsaid... I don't mean things like cheating and such... but personal things yes... I'm sorry but some of us have spots of our lives we do not want others to know...
Last reply of this "game", have to get up in a couple hours for work.
You switch from talking about current lifestyle choices, to mistakes of the past. Everyone has mistakes from the past. They aren't really something to hide away to begin with, but that's your choice. Some things may be better left unsaid. Those things don't include current lifestyle choices though. If one watches pornwhile the other is completely oblivious to the fact , even though they know the other doesn't approve (or however you would like to word it), that makes it a secret. One should never keep secrets of this sort from the s/o. Failing to mention the truth, is still lying.
But, I'm glad you view my ideals as crap. It shows how mature you really are  Good luck and Happy Fishing in the future  | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 5/30/2008 12:39:30 AM | Well you know I am SO glad you find me immature... Like I said that's your opinion... No I NEVER EVER said to hide things in the current, when I said some things are left unsaid I was referring to the past... and not past mistakes either... I believe you do not know what I mean... Some people have things that have affected their lives and changed them things beyond their control that occurred somewhere in their past that WASN'T a mistake, that would scare some people off right away... So yes those things should be kept away for a better time...
And I don't think your IDEAS not ideals.... are crap... simply the game is crap... | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 5/30/2008 4:49:35 AM |
I don't like porn because if my man is gonna be jerkin off, it better be over me...
Despite having a wife out in the family room watching TV. Men will still masterbate in the shower occasionally! | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 5/30/2008 9:04:10 AM | I think there are more women who think they are being compared to porn stars then those who actually are. Common sense for a guy will tell him that the people in those movies do every thing to make there body like that because thats what they do for WORK. Just like professional body builders, it takes a lot of time and money to get your body into that kind of "perfect" shape.
Men and women should understand that people that are not in that biss. just do not have the time to invest in getting there body to that perfect level. It's unrealistic....yes some people have the genetics that they could look awesome with just a hour or two in the gym a day, but not many.
But the point is the Porn industry knows that the "perfect" body shape will turn a person on the best, so that's what they use. There is also plenty of porn out there that uses normal people, they got love handles, smaller breast's, even fat chicks, guys with small equipment....ect. There are so many different types of porn that you just can't limit it to hardcore beauty and babes. | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 5/30/2008 9:57:41 AM |
Okay then, how about you cum in your girls mouth and let her spit it on your face, hey that may just push her over the edge mentally and physically. (and at least you get to put your splooge on someones face.
The guy vulnerable?????????? What a load of hogwash. You cannot possibly believe the drivel coming out of your mouth?
Most women are all about making their men happy, pity it isnt reciprocated.
First of all, you missed the initial point: Dont cut his balls off because he asked for something he wanted, You can always so "no".
Second of all, you might be suprised at who just might say yes to your proposition, of course, you have to respect those that say "no" too.
Thirdly, Sex is a two-way street, and either party being selfish is going to make it bad (I know, I'm a virgin, but all my friends have given me lots of insight).
Look, just because you've been with some selfish men, doesn't mean all men are selfish and mindless. Furthermore, not all men who ask to come on your face are porno creeps, you know, because maybe they like it? And you can always say NO if it bothers you so much.
Personally, I'd let you spit it back in my face if it turned you on so much, I don't mind because it's my own body fluid. Hell, I'd make out with you even, I know some women think it's hot that a guy will have a sloppy kiss with them when they have a mouthful of their sperm.
Point is: Maybe you should communicate your desires to your partners, and be respectful to your partner's as well. | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 5/30/2008 11:18:06 AM | No I NEVER EVER said to hide things in the current
...but you said...
Actually yes in this case what we don't know won't hurt us... If you know your girlfriend or wife has a problem with porn then why tell her you watch it, why let her find your movies or your magazines?
Of course, the fact that you said this in the next post should automatically cancel that out, right?
I never said one has to conceal the fact they watch porn
You changed your standpoint halfway through trying to make a point. One minute it's ok to fail to mention and hide (better known as lying about) the current porn, the next minute, you are saying "NEVER EVER hide things in the current."
So basically what you are saying is, don't hide the fact you watch porn, just don't do it while your s/o is around. That statement in itself makes logical sense and could be applauded. But then we throw in the fact that maybe the s/o doesn't like a man watching porn because of her own insecurities (or for whatever reasons). In which case, don't hide the fact you watch porn, just hide the porn. This doesn't make sense at all because, although she knows her man still watches or looks at it, not knowing it is around the house will make her feel so much more secure?
I realize you don't have a problem with porn, and maybe that's why this is a complicated issue for you to make a firm stance on, but some people do (have a problem with porn that is). I don't have a problem with it either personally, I don't go out of my way to view it, and much prefer real life, but still. There are some who do. The man should be respectful of the woman's feelings and get rid of it altogether, ask for a comprimise, or they both should move on...her to a man who doesn't need porn, him to a woman who can handle the porn. There should be no middle ground, where hiding or not telling the other person about the porn (although I'm not totally sure if you actually said that or not now) is acceptable.
when I said some things are left unsaid I was referring to the past... and not past mistakes either... I believe you do not know what I mean... Some people have things that have affected their lives and changed them things beyond their control that occurred somewhere in their past that WASN'T a mistake, that would scare some people off right away... So yes those things should be kept away for a better time...
I can understand why you would want to hide such things as being molested or raped, or other such awful crimes or things that may have happened that weren't your fault. I apologize for not understanding that may have been what you meant.
Btw...ideals are honorable or worthy principles (one of many definitions, but the one I was referring to) That is the word I wanted to use, and I used it correctly. Thank you for trying to correct me though. Examples : My ideal that lying in a relationship is totally and completely unacceptable. My ideal that keeping secrets, hiding or failing to mention information is also lying.
Also, when I said it was a game, I was being sarcastic, hence the laughter. Everyone has the right to post whereever and whenever they feel like it. Simply because both her and I had opinions dealing with your posts that just so happened to be similar, and happened to be around at the same time to read them and reply to them. Neither of us discussed our replies before they were posted...and as you can see, we both have our own unique way of posting. There was no game involved, merely a discussion. Would you really complain that we were playing a game if we would have agreed with your posts? I doubt it. | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 5/30/2008 1:44:45 PM | I dont need porn; if you are with someone you love and you still need porn; well thats your thing.
Porn has you screwing another woman in your mind for pleasure. That isnt' exactly a building block for a good relationship. It may make you horny but if long term is your thing then its not the way. | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 5/30/2008 3:47:23 PM | | Lots of women love and watch porn, myself being one of them. Me and my partner(s) watch it together with the stipulation of no touching until it's over. It's quite the game and often one of us 'loses' because we get so worked up. I can, however, understand how it may not appealing to some women if the man is choosing it over you or if he is comparing you to the girls in the movies - I don't think it's the porn's fault but the person you chose to be with - character flaw. | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 5/30/2008 5:49:37 PM | Furthermore, not all men who ask to come on your face are porno creeps, you know, because maybe they like it?
I honestly believe that some anti-porn people are giving pornographers WAY too much credit.
It's almost as if they think stuff that goes on in porn - actions/positions/fanatasies - were INVENTED by some guy on a film set in Peoria, and watchers have an eureka moment and want to do it, too. It's the other way around. Porn makers obviously exploit - and I'm using in that in the capitalist sense, not the moralist sense - ancient and innate sexual proclivities. I have no doubt over the time frame when the species became sentient and sexuality became as complicated as every other aspect of our thinking lives, some guy realized he REALLY enjoyed cumming on his partner's face, and some woman realized she REALLY liked it, too. And men and women have been doing it - and whatever else goes on in porn - ever since.
Fast forward to the technological age, and we have porn on demand, ranging from cheesy to high-end. | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 5/30/2008 10:09:52 PM | Just a few possibilities of "why" ...
1. It seems to create unrealistic expectations in men
2. Men seem to think girls want done to them what the "actresses" allow
3. It pretty much degrades women
4. As mothers, we fear for our girls to be sucked into the industry (by choice or force)
5. When some guys get all worked up and are tired of jerking off, it can lead to rapes
6. Children also watch and learn from porn ... it's scary to think little boys are growing up thinking that's what little girls are for ... and when they say "no", they don't really mean it.
7. It kinda crushes the whole "making love" ideal
8. It's pretty sad if people need to watch porn to get aroused ... when the natural senses aren't enough to make one horny. | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 5/30/2008 10:24:19 PM | 1. I think this is specific to the man, actually. We've already had the discussion about fantasy and reality, and how most intelligent people are able to discern the difference.
2. Again...SOME men seem to think this, and to be honest, this is behaviour that can be adopted any number of ways. Including the vibe that many young women give off, these days.
3. I think if we're going to talk about being degrading, we have to realize that both sexes are being degraded in porn, not just women.
4. I didn't realize that this was a huge concern for the average mother.
5. Rapists rape regardless of whether or not they have porn.
6. You let your children watch porn?! No wonder #4 is an issue! I hate to break it to you, but cable television and environment alone can give little boys the wrong idea about how to treat a woman. It's a parent's responsibility to teach their child right and wrong. If they are showing them porn, or not teaching them how to value a woman, then it's a parenting issue, not a pornography issue.
7. What does it take away from "making love"? There is a difference between sex and love. I think we will all agree on this.
8. I agree. | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 5/30/2008 10:36:31 PM | lucretia21 ... regarding your number 6... I am not talking about me and my child specifically. In fact, we did not even bother with cable t.v.
However, I do know of many children who "sneak" watching porn on t.v and movies. .. or get into their parent's magazine stash. What do you think some kids do when their parents are all busy away from home ... or when they are over at their little friends houses?
as for number 5, look into the details of some rapes ... where the guy was and what he was doing before raping ...
As I started my reply with ... here are some possiblilities of "Why"... | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 5/30/2008 11:41:29 PM | Snake-charmer:
Young guys are learning what they know about sex, and how they react to women (or don't react), though internet porn. Older men are sitting in front of the computer for hours instead of connecting with their wives. It's easier. ...
An excerpt from Naomi Wolfe's article The Porn Myth:
"...The young women who talk to me on campuses about the effect of pornography on their intimate lives speak of feeling that they can never measure up, that they can never ask for what they want; and that if they do not offer what porn offers, they cannot expect to hold a guy. The young men talk about what it is like to grow up learning about sex from porn, and how it is not helpful to them in trying to figure out how to be with a real woman. Mostly, when I ask about loneliness, a deep, sad silence descends on audiences of young men and young women alike. They know they are lonely together, even when conjoined, and that this imagery is a big part of that loneliness. What they don’t know is how to get out, how to find each other again erotically, face-to-face.
Okay this is an essay about women who bemoan not being in love and blaming it on porn. Women who feel inadequate will find something to blame it on. The sexy neighbor next door, the classmate with bigger boobs, the woman with hair of another color or straighter teeth, a bow on her shoes......the list is endless.
Let's back up about 20 years so that the Internet is not part of the equation. Now what do you say?
• "Young guys are learning what they know about sex, and how they react to women (or don't react), though porn magazines like Penthouse and Hustler. "
Let's back up about 200 years so that photographs are not part of the equation. Now what do you say?
• "Young guys are learning what they know about sex, and how they react to women (or don't react), though pornagraphic literature and lurid paintings."
Let's go back about 2000 years so that books and reading are not available to most of humanity. Now what do you say?
• "Young guys are learning what they know about sex, and how they react to women (or don't react), though prostitutes and bawdy limericks. "
The point is that the stories of how men want women to act have been around since the dawn of communication, we only get it quicker now. Sheesh, boys fresh out of diapers are making up stories about girls and what they do/don't do.
Taking away the Internet, photos, books and paintings will not stop the fantasizing and magically turn men into attentive lovers.  | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 5/30/2008 11:43:22 PM | I can't add to the "whys" of this discussion, but I still love to give my $.02 anyway.
I admit to a curiosity about porn, starting probably at age 12 when I realized the house I was babysitting at had porn. I had the idea it was "naughty" and so of course, was intrigued (but we won't even get into where that "idea" came from--being Catholic, having certain beliefs about sex instilled... i could go on).
I may have viewed bits of porn here and there in the subsequent years, once renting one with another couple (but no, there was no foursome, lol). I never fully understood the fascination really. I figured if you were with someone who was into you and the sex was satisfying, then why introduce porn?
And now, I dunno, I'm not opposed to it, but I, like many others here, feel if it borders on unhealthy interest in it... eg. wanting it over the real thing, then I'm outta there. And sorry, but if its lame porn then I'm gonna criticize it! Too bad if u don't like it either  If her tits are rock hard--obviously fake and don't bounce like they naturally should, I refuse to hold my tongue! If the guys are ugly or whatever, yep, you know I'm gonna say something
Besides, after all its said and done, unless you venture into the extreme, illegal stuff, its all the same stuff, over and over and over again. | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 5/30/2008 11:50:54 PM |
Besides, after all its said and done, unless you venture into the extreme, illegal stuff, its all the same stuff, over and over and over again.
The same might be said of Sex and the City.
Sophisticated City Woman meets a man. SCW has fantasy of how he is "the One". SCW realizes he is just an ordinary man. SCW dumps man.
Next season, repeat. Should men blame fairy tales like Cinderella for ruining women? | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 5/30/2008 11:59:08 PM |
Next season, repeat. Should men blame fairy tales like Cinderella for ruining women?
Yes.
I mean, if we're going to use the logic of many of the women who have responded to this thread, then yes, we have to acknowledge the "unreal expectations" that are put on men, thanks to fairytales.
In my opnion, Sex and the City is the modern woman's porn. Many women relate to the fictional characters. They aspire to be like them- not unlike men and the men in porn.
Is it weird that I find myself agreeing with the men, on this one? Definintely, but I feel like they have very valid points. | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 5/31/2008 4:09:49 AM |
The same might be said of Sex and the City.
Sophisticated City Woman meets a man. SCW has fantasy of how he is "the One". SCW realizes he is just an ordinary man. SCW dumps man.
Next season, repeat. Should men blame fairy tales like Cinderella for ruining women?
Very good wackmc. I totally agree with this. Yeah what bout that. I mean they had sexual discussions will drinking a cosmo. Everything from eating um ya know to how to give a bj correctly. Oh let me guess that is "different." There was nudity on it. So we can't say it wasn't "porn like"
lucretia21
Next season, repeat. Should men blame fairy tales like Cinderella for ruining women?
Yes.
I mean, if we're going to use the logic of many of the women who have responded to this thread, then yes, we have to acknowledge the "unreal expectations" that are put on men, thanks to fairytales.
In my opnion, Sex and the City is the modern woman's porn. Many women relate to the fictional characters. They aspire to be like them- not unlike men and the men in porn.
I totally agree with you also. I am using the exact same logic. There is not much of a difference. Its fantasy vs reality. Wither it be porn, soaps, R rated movies, music videos. Whatever. | |
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EB1
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Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 122 | |
| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 5/31/2008 4:43:30 AM | 85032luck
maybe because most pornos are geared towards male viewers. -do you think a women really likes watching a sweet lil thing who really enjoys being passed around by a horny football team? -if they made pornos for women they would be like the lifetime channel:
-he walks in (wiping his feet on the doormat before entering) -commenting on how he likes her drapes, and the scent of her candles softly lighting the room. -then listens to every word about how she likes to shop at bed bath and beyond.... they dine on little martha stewart snacks and drink a fine wine, then its off to the bedroom where we cant see a damn thing -CUZ SHE LIKES TO MAKE LOVE WITH THE LIGHTS OFF!
This must get the award for the post of the week
But I think that is the major point in this porno debate. If it would be geared more towards womens needs, desires yadda yadda. We might be watching it more.
I wonder though, if the roles would be reversed and we women would be the majority watching porn, how would men feel??? Would they be complaining "all you watch is that man's junk", "do you prefer him more than me?", "is he bigger than me?" etc | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 5/31/2008 5:10:59 AM | EB1
I wonder though, if the roles would be reversed and we women would be the majority watching porn, how would men feel??? Would they be complaining "all you watch is that man's junk", "do you prefer him more than me?", "is he bigger than me?" etc
I'll be the 1st to bite this. I think that men do the same with the "chick flicks" as women do with "porn" Some people give in and watch what the s/o likes. But they still disagree with it and/or don't like it.
The "do you prefer him more than me" is something I see not just in porn but on tv shows, music, movies, etc. The same as some women. Which is what I have been pointing out. Another double standard issue where its ok for the woman to fantasize and its "different" for men to fantasize because it's porn and it gives distorted views of women.
What about the soap operas giving distorted views of men? I mean I've watched a few of those with my sister for lack of boredom more than anything. And there isn't a pot belly average guy on them. Even the "older" guys everyone of them look like they work out 3 times a day. I mean isn't that just as distorted. | |
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EB1
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Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 124 | |
| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 5/31/2008 5:25:14 AM | Nice catch77
(Didn't recognise you with the blond hair, you used to use the short hair pic) Anyways back to the point!
I can see your point, saying that often people give in and watch what the SO watches. But don't you think there is a big difference in watching soap, NASCAR etc than Nekked bodies??(Especially talking about certain types of porn here).
I don't watch soaps,lol. Because yes, they do give out distorted views about men. I have never met men looking like that in a real world | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 5/31/2008 5:27:00 AM | I wonder though, if the roles would be reversed and we women would be the majority watching porn, how would men feel??? Would they be complaining "all you watch is that man's junk", "do you prefer him more than me?", "is he bigger than me?" etc
But the difference there is that I'm secure enough with myself to know that what's on screen and what's in front of her are two different things.
It's akin to introducing a dildo in to the sex that's bigger than me. Yeah it might pleasure her more in some sense, but I know that there's no substitute for the real thing.
And honestly, I have no problem watching a women getting herself off. That is such a turn on. | |
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