| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 6/26/2008 3:34:55 PM | I've always wondered about this myself....I enjoy watching porn with my partner....I don't like ALL porn especially not the 80's porn with the bushmasters in it....but I do like assman's movies, he's got dirty bad girls doing dirty bad stuff....That's my shit!!! | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 6/26/2008 4:56:22 PM |
"Are you saying that animals are wrong for picking a mate based on looks? Are they suppose to take them out for coffee and get to know them first? "
No with animals the female picks the male with the best coat, colours, plumage because it signals good health. Animals with good ginetics often are the best adapted to their enviroment and finding food. When a male is successful at finding food and staying healthy, the coat reflects that. So when a female picks a male based on looks she is ensuring the best genes for her baby. Humans are different we pick mates for a combination of reasons, looks, trust, love, stability, parenting skills, reliability, ect. Not just a pritty pair of genes.
"Porn should not be considered so morally wrong... Porn is unrealistic... so what? So is half the shit you see on television and the internet, etc. If you feel threatened by a porn star who is just on the screen then you have some jealousy issues as well as some with your self confidence. "
I don't watch any reality tv where private moments that are suppost to be between two people are displayed for the world to see. Sex is not something that should be put on display. Porn is a lack of intimacy and sex should be an expression of intimacy. I don't fear porn stars, I am sure most are really nice people. They are no better than me and I am no better than them. I would have no problem getting to know or becoming friends with a porn star. So long as we agreed to respect each others views.
"Guys are guys and will look at other females if they are attractive. Hell, being a woman I look at other guys if I find them attractive. It's human nature... sure, you love whom you are with but doesn't mean you are going to trade them up for something better... and those who do were not worth being with to begin with..."
There is a difference between looking at an attractive person as they walk past and imagining your with that person. It is also a difference when you are watching them share an intimate moment they never should of shared to begin with.
"It's human nature... sure, you love whom you are with but doesn't mean you are going to trade them up for something better... and those who do were not worth being with to begin with..." that I agree with. I too have looked at guys, hey I got a pic of Shia LaBouf on my wall, but I don't fantacise about him. I just think he is a great actor, who is hot and is sitting on a motorcycle. -Wow that was a great movie..... Yes, it is human nature to be attracted to someone, but unless you are together in a relationship that should be where it ends. There needs to be boundarys, and thats where mine is. | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 7/3/2008 4:53:42 AM | | when John Wayne Gasie and Ted Bundy were asked what turned them into the monsters they had become, both said out right it was pornography and the ongoing need for more and more violent pornography to get them off ,,, you would be surprised what the human mind can do with shitty input. | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 7/3/2008 4:19:49 PM | You'd also be surprised with what psychotic serial killers can come up with. I mean we all know that they are the most logical thinkers and should be looked to for moral guidance. It's not like any serial killers have ever blamed something that wasn't actually the cause (the CIA reading their thoughts made them do it, for example).
Furthermore, the view that sex should be a display of intimacy is only an opinion. I happen to believe that sex is something that will feel good. Others see sex as a source of revenue or control. The fact is, we are all right for ourselves (and the people we have control over). But none of us are so "right" that we get to impose that morality on others. | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 7/3/2008 4:48:34 PM | | Possibly they were abused at sometime sexually and don't want to be reminded of it. If it is watched together and not substituted for contact with the other partner, ok. But when it takes up all of your time and you ignore the individual with you - that is not fair - magazines, etc are artificial and have no depth. Sometimes the fantasy is good for some because they can look at the picture and do not have to live up to anything but what they may want at the moment. This can emotionally destroy the partner being left out. | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 7/3/2008 6:04:39 PM |
You'd also be surprised with what psychotic serial killers can come up with.
most of use can be turned into psychotic killers very easily give environment and input.
case in point Nazi Germany concentration camp guards. and no when they were posting solders at those camps they were not choosing psychotic serial killers ,,, but they sure created allot due to the environment.
But none of us are so "right" that we get to impose that morality on others. [\quote]
jails are full of people we have imposed morality on, and for most good reason.
anyway this is getting a bit off topic. | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 7/4/2008 3:00:07 AM | In the end, you can blame your environment, other people, porn, video games, rap music, homosexuals, leprechauns that subaru commercial with sumo wrestlers hitting each other with sponges, no matter what you are the person that controls whether you do or don't do a thing.
The reason those guys blamed porn and trying to take it further to get off is that when you reward an impulse, that becomes the norm. The fact is, these guys rewarded obscene violence and maybe at one point it became something they couldn't help but originally they were the ones that kept rewarding impulses that most of us would have denied.
Sometimes I want to drive my car into a tree to see what it feels like, I've never crashed my car, sometimes I want to get into fights with people that lip me off in public, I rarely get into fights. You always got a choice, keep rewarding bad behavior and the choice gets harder.
The thing is, porn alone isn't that damaging, violently raping/murdering people sorta is you know... | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:26:38 AM | It all depends on the situations, ladies and gentlefellows.
I know a few girls that watch more porn than i do, mostly concerning men on men. One of my ex girlfriends in fact watched my porn. It was pretty hot.
I dont think women in general should be feeling as, and this is my own point of view by the way, inadequate at the thought of men wanking it to porn. There are a many of times porn can be useful. Such as, the relationship is strained and men arent getting any, and instead of going out to find some pennywhore on the street, they just stay at home and wank it. Or, when the gf/wife is bein visited by aunt flow and the men are nothing more than giant horomones, porn helps ease the pain and get thier minds back in the game. Or come three in the morning, where they wake up and they know better than to wake you up because of work in the morning, dun dun dun! Porn wins by a landslide.
Now, of course, there are some people that ruin porn for the rest of the world, people that completely ignore the women in thier lives, and those people shouldnt be allowed to view such things. Porn is a tool, not a substitute.
So ladies, before you start thinking less of us men because we like seeing "perfect" sex compared to real life sex, take a moment to relize that, we arent viewing porn to neglect you, we watch porn to assist us in ways to make you happy.
and you know, to wank it too. Cause porn is great!  | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:39:05 AM | It depends on the woman, but some may have just been brought up to think it is disgusting or degrading to women, and rightfully so. The best thing for a man to do is to not keep it a secret. The part that may bug your lady about you getting off on porn is that you are alone with it and feel the need to hide it. This could be threatening to a woman because the porn stars are getting the sexual alone time with you that she feels should be reserved for her. If you have a woman who is open to suggestion then you should be watching the porn together.
This could be uncomfortable for some but sometimes it's fun to watch a really corny 80's porn vid and laugh the whole way through it and then have playful rompy sex.
If your girlfriend can't wrap her head around it, don't worry about it. Reassure her how much better looking and respectful she is than the pornstars. | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 7/4/2008 4:25:25 PM | Max...c'mon buddy, comparing porn to nazi germany? Those people grew up in that environment and many did what they did out of self preservation. Noone is going to become a serial killer by watching porn, listening to dark music or for that matter eating peanut butter. If these 2 guys you cite were so good at self diagnosing thier issues I'm sure we never would have heard thier names. You really think we are all on the verge of becoming psychotic killers?? If you are that weak you better stay away from porn...and anything sharp...and cars...rope...
Porn is for adults. This forum is for women to answer...I guess we both should pipe down. | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 7/4/2008 6:23:30 PM | | Porn only becomes an issue when it REPLACES or takes time away from the relationship. Otherwise, it can be a substitute when one of you isn't in the mood and can be entertaining and inspirational, as long as you generally agree on the "genre". | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:47:07 PM | i like porn- ok i lied.......I LOVE PORN!
BUT, I'm divorced, no dating prospects in the near future and ascribe to the no touching rule of foreplay.....??
it's all telepathic.
However, if I was with that mOther fvcker and all he wanted to do was watch porn- oh I would be through the roof jealous, I mean who needs me then?
As an adjunct or enhancement, yes!!! As a replacement, NO! | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 7/7/2008 5:28:34 AM |
why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
No idea. Personally, i watch porn but i do not watch 'regular' girl on guy porn (all that fake moaning and the women talking drive me nuts). Does nothing for me. MMF is more my thing. | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:55:49 PM | I would also like this answered... I am not one of those women... I like porn... however I could do without the camera right there watching the slammin' Isn't quite the best thing ever... but I am not one of those who are "ANTI".
I think it has to do with the following:
1. women who can't grasp the reality that men are visual creatures.
2. women are insecure and think you are going to picture the porn chick while you are with her.
3. You aren't picking "couple" orented porn. Some of it is WAY better to watch as a "pair" than other stuff.. My husband has his porn and then we have OUR porn. go to the Adult super store and find some that might be better ... if it has a title like "put your c*&% in my A$$" you aren't looking at the right stuff.
Change it up a bit...
Remember to compliment her and make sexy comments towards her too... and get some porn that is fun to watch... funny.... like the paris hilton thing... that was a joke! | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:10:03 PM | atHome, I would like to thank you for finally saying the truth. Those three points, although not universal laws, are true in a statistically significant portion of the population. Social psychologists have been saying this, for years yet everyone just thinks they're liberal wackos who want to destroy all morality in the world (which may or may not be true, but that's not the point here). I would like to throw out a couple things men need to figure out to help the problem too. Unlike John Gray, I think everybody needs to work hard to improve, not just women.
1. men need to grasp that sexuality to women is primarily an intellectual thing. Go read a romance novel, it's not just "walk into a room and bang her" it's set up a situation then describe the "passionate love-making".
2. men need to be more supportive. Most women feel insecure about their looks and frequently compare their looks to others. Don't just assume they know it's different. Say that you know they aren't real, that it's airbrushed, that your partner has already amounted to more than the girl you're looking at ever will. Say that you love her (as long as you mean it, don't be a d***). And don't just do this once, make sure she knows you mean it.
3. Look into what she is interested in. You like your porn. Maybe she likes romance novels, or posters of some teen idol from when she was growing up. Maybe she doesn't like any of them but instead likes gardening. Pay attention to her. Porn is just supposed to be something along the lines of a hobby anyway, so maybe you should try and share in her hobbies to. Or at the very least, make sure that she knows doing something you both enjoy together is always preferable to looking at porn.
Don't mean to sound so preachy there, but atHome really hit the nail on the head, I wanted to try and ride her coattails before they got too worn down. | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 7/7/2008 9:59:59 PM | op
while porn has been around a "long time," is has not been so widely consumed, nor been so readily accessible for little money. there was a time when one had to frequent a creepy-seedy adult bookstore in order to get this material. a so called "normal" guy would have to worry whether or not anyone would see him coming or going. today porn is everywhere and it is completely mainstream. but it is a big deal.
just like with alchohol or drugs etc, too much of a fun thing, or what some may consider fun anyway, can turn into a not so fun thing. there are men who have become so obssesed with porn that they have ruined thier relationships with thier partners, and even thier kids over abusing pornography. how would you feel if you were a kid and you walked in on your dad doing his thing while looking at porn on the internet? how would you feel if your spouse wouldn't sleep with you anymore because they were spending all of thier time watching porn?
anyway... there is such a thing as sexual addiction. i have read several books on th topic, and have read too many studies on it to count. you can find information about sexual addiction through sex addicts anonymous. it is a support group for sex addicts that also has some great resource info.
on a final note... anything that hurts your partner and causes problems is something that needs to be addressed. also, internet sexual activity is now being reported as one of the leading casuses of divorce, and that term includes porn, cyber sex, meeting people online while married, webcam stuff...etc... so, yeah, it is obviously a problem for a great many people... and it has nothing to do with the other person being a "prude," or "uptight."
lar | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 7/7/2008 10:10:42 PM | imeni~
if you are watching porn to "assist" in making some girl happy... you are way off the mark.
first of all, one of my biggest complaints with porn is that no matter what they guy is doing to the woman in a typical porno she is loving it. she is acting like it is the most amazing thing that she has ever experienced, and often i look at what the guy is doing and i just think, "sheesh... if some guy did that like that to me i think i would fall asleep....". i think this is a common misconception that men have, and i would also assert that many YOUNG women feel like they have to act like a woman in a porn... and feel pressure to do so...because they feel that this is expected by the men...
honestly, porn is typically geared towards the male sexuality, NOT women's sexuality. using it as some sort of "how to," is not going to make you a better lover. it's not about "technique," it's about being able to connect with someone. for women there is an emotional component that makes the sex amazing... anyway... we, as a society, have elevated sex to this level that is creating a lot of anxiety for people...
lar | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 8/8/2008 10:41:23 AM | Larissan04 - from message #217 & #218 - explains it EXTREMELY well...
I think it also depends alot on what environment a girl is raised in as well. I was never exposed to any such thing as porn. The "dirtiest" thing I ever saw was some magazines of my father's friends and a few my brother had around for a short time. The men I grew up with were too busy working, hunting, fishing, horseriding, farming, snowmobiling and such ... they were never sitting idle on the couch watching movies, and there sure was no internet then. My "boyfriends" into my mid-twenties were very much the same, so sex was a whole lot more "natural", relaxed and fun back then.
I think the world could survive just fine without porn and slasher movies ... | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 8/8/2008 2:20:35 PM | Maybe women want men to be interested in them for something more than her body. Porn says he wants woman for little more than what is between her legs. Obession. Is the word. Obessed with their own desires. Selfish and self centered. It says a great deal about the guy. It says how he views sex and how he views a very important part of their relationships.
We wont go over the number of women used for the sexuality and nothing else. How porn reminds them of that, takes them back to that place. I am cool with a guy watching porn. I just dont see spending my life with him. I dont see dating him seriously. It says a certain amount of immaturity I dont want to deal with. | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 8/8/2008 4:34:16 PM | | porn is fab and its great for a couple to watch it together! personally i dont see a problem with it, u shouldnt be ashamed or scared to talk about sex and u never know, u might learn a thing or 2 in the bedroom by watching porn! | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 8/8/2008 10:12:10 PM | | My guess is it is a control issue. They want their guy to beg them for sex and have no other outlet. That way they can endlessly string them along with their petty control games. (The gals that don't play those petty control games are the ones saying they're fine with it as long as the guys don't get to where they'd rather look at porn than get busy with their SO and don't understand what the big deal is.) | |
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| why do some girls get so worked up over porn?
Posted: 8/8/2008 10:21:01 PM | Porn is like sports... boring. Why watch someone do something when you could be doing it?
Porn is also pretty much created and marketed for men. There is very little porn designed to be appealing to women. | |
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