| Constructive Criticism please. ^_^
Posted: 5/18/2008 5:24:15 PM |
Erp, I meant the word in your headline should be "unexpectedLY," and not "unexpected." Dunno why I said "complete."
And yes, a well-spoken, intelligent young person here is as rare as...rare as....um...as rare as a Faberge' egg in a stream of...errr...bat's piss.
So that's a GOOD thing. Haha, that's funny. ^_^ I guess i feel kind of special now hehe. | |
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| Constructive Criticism please. ^_^
Posted: 6/21/2008 9:59:58 PM | | Well, I'm back and I'm requesting that someone look at my "First Date" description and give me their honest opinion. ^_^ Once again constructive criticism is appreciated. | |
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| Constructive Criticism please. ^_^
Posted: 6/21/2008 11:08:38 PM | Haha, that's funny. ^_^ I guess i feel kind of special now hehe.
what is up with the ^_^ in everything you type, ugh... do women actually think that's cute?
edit: removed a sarcastic comment here
Ok... First Date.
I actually though your About Me was fairly well done, but I think you blew it on the first date. It's the Same Ol' thing all the other guys write, and this is your last chance to hook em!
I think you should be a little more specific about the place you'd like to take her and how the night my go, make it stick out and be unique! | |
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| Constructive Criticism please. ^_^
Posted: 6/22/2008 2:25:09 PM | | Hmm....more specific? Okay. I'd like to get more advice first though before doing anything. On a side note the emote is just something I've gotten into the habit of doing. I guess it's just to show when something makes me smile? Is something like that really a nuisance? | |
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| Constructive Criticism please. ^_^
Posted: 6/22/2008 4:40:58 PM | Maybe people your age dont mind it. u younger generation are always messing with the traditional emotes lol
Given this thread is 3 months running. How's it working for you?
That kind of thing is worth knowing. We can think your profile is great but if its not working, we might have to suggest a different strategy. | |
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| Constructive Criticism please. ^_^
Posted: 6/22/2008 5:22:03 PM | | Well, I've got nothing so far. No messages or anything of the sort. I've sent messages to others letting them know I'd like to talk to them more but I never get anything back. Not really sure why...maybe it's my location. I'm in a really odd place. Not to mention there aren't very many women from my area on POF. | |
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| Constructive Criticism please. ^_^
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:52:29 PM | Let me break down the problem here for you OP. You are a 30-year-old man trapped in the tiny frame of an 18-year-old. Women your age are looking to date older men more often than not. Guys their age aren’t deemed “worthy” or “cool”. On a side note has anyone ever told you that you look like Daniel Radcliffe (sp?)? I’d work that angle! Women nowadays are turned on by the quietly sexy geek. That could be your angle.
As for your first date you make the mistake of mentioning the movie. No one likes the movie on a first date anymore. It’s so 2007. You mention going to her favourite coffee shop, but that is about the same as saying you have no spine and will lay down on a puddle so that she may walk freely and stay dry. It says “I’m a doormat” and not exactly the message you want to portray to her, right? I liked your profile, remember? You just have to know how to work what you’ve got in front of you.
Another thing you do is you keep mentioning safety. When someone mentions something it’s usually a telltale sign that the opposite is true. I don’t’ believe for a moment that you aren’t safe but a woman looking in might not get that far in her thought process. She may see the word safe and think “yea sure, until you get me back to my car in a dimly lit parking lot and then what?!”. Let your words make her feel at ease with you. Implying that you’d like a kiss on a first date is a no-no unless you can do it well and make it count, but the woman has to be touched by your words prior to that point and be welcome to that idea. I’ve said it in my profile in a roundabout way. I just posted this new profile a couple days ago and I got a message last night from a woman who said if I was closer she’d kiss me before the date even began. Why? Because the profile invoked a response.
Get a little more creative in your first date section. As we’ve said already your profile portrays a boy wise beyond his years yet your first date section tells a story of an 18-year-old boy scared. If you’d like help crafting something there let us know and we’ll work with you on it. | |
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| Constructive Criticism please. ^_^
Posted: 6/23/2008 10:16:33 AM | | Thanks so much for the input. I've learned quite a bit from it. I would love for the assistance in tailoring the first date section. I do have a question though. Can the first date section be hypothetical? There really isn't much entertainment in my city aside from theaters, local parks, and (unfortunately) bars. Would it be okay to describe a first date with hypothetical potential outlets? I'm not sure if I explained this properly... | |
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| Constructive Criticism please. ^_^
Posted: 6/23/2008 10:43:00 AM | Hypothetical first date, would be just that.... Hypothetical...
Local Parks... that's an idea!
Does this park have a body of water? Can you pickup a loaf of bread and take turns throwing out morsels to the ducks? Is there hiking trails in and around this park? Perhaps ride a bicycle down Widlife Path... I dunno...
Ok, so I just google Mapped Eureka, CA... you're right on the water for petes sake! There's got to be something to do around that... pick up shells? build a cool sand castle? walk the boardwalk? See seals down on the pier and talk about the funny noises they make? Lick ice cream cones with down on said pier? Anything, just get creative with it! Adorni center came up in search results, what's that? Carson Mansion?
Since I don't live in the area, I cant point out specific locations, but why don't you pick out a few and we can help tailor how to write it. | |
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| Constructive Criticism please. ^_^
Posted: 6/23/2008 10:53:15 AM |
letting them know I'd like to talk to them more
I'm not sure that's a good tactic for a first message.
Conventional wisdom states just try to amuse them. whether thats commenting on something in their profile, or gettting the wrong idea over something in their profile, in an amusing way. It's not necessarily easy with the usual 3 line profiles. I generally avoid the whole problem by never writing first messages at all. | |
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| Constructive Criticism please. ^_^
Posted: 6/23/2008 10:54:51 AM | | Alright. Let's see...the Adorni Center is sort of a recreational facility for exercise and/or events (should something be happening). The Carson Mansion also known as the Ingomar Club is for Eureka's financial elites I suppose. I don't really know too much about it. The boardwalk of ours lies across from a marina. There isn't too much to do on it I think. There's one shop that is built directly on it. Perhaps that could be a venue? Our beaches are nice. They are cold however. Perhaps I could check the weather ahead of time for pleasant skies? Our local park does have hiking trails and a duck pond. There also happens to be a zoo right next to it. I actually hadn't thought about that until now. We have a local Mall (although I don't really think that could be a good place for a date...) with many shops to look at. However I think my best choices would be the park/zoo or the beaches. The one thing I lack is money. I'm always embarrassed to go on dates because I don't have too much money available to put towards a date... | |
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| Constructive Criticism please. ^_^
Posted: 6/23/2008 10:57:00 AM | | So is not writing the first message a good idea? If my initial approach is what's throwing them off should I not send first messages? | |
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| Constructive Criticism please. ^_^
Posted: 6/23/2008 11:00:05 AM | OP,
By all means continue sending out first messages, this is a numbers game my friend, and there are more men than women, so we gotta be on the hunt!
Also, don't worry about not having much money. You are 18. I assume most of your dates will be similar in age, and also low on cashflow. The point is to plan something that can be uniquely yours (you and your date)... The zoo/park/beaches, etc... are good places to start, now just try to paint the picture of the date.... | |
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| Constructive Criticism please. ^_^
Posted: 6/23/2008 11:05:52 AM |
So is not writing the first message a good idea? If my initial approach is what's throwing them off should I not send first messages?
you can only not send first messages if your profile "works" by itself.
In some ways that's a lot harder to achieve.
otherwise nothing happens | |
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| Constructive Criticism please. ^_^
Posted: 6/23/2008 11:07:17 AM | | Paint the picture eh? Okay, since I know many women here are into nature, perhaps the park would be best. I am an artist as well. Perhaps I could draw their portrait with the scenery behind them? (I'm really not to good at coming up with stuff....:( ) Maybe I'm just tired this morning. | |
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| Constructive Criticism please. ^_^
Posted: 6/23/2008 11:24:03 AM | Okay... what to do when you live in a ratbag town with jack to do that is out of the ordinary. A picnic is almost a sure-fire way to grab ahold of the heart strings of a woman. Find out beforehand through small talk what she likes and dislikes. Pack the essentials... wine, cheese, cut fruits and veggies, and dark chocolate. I don't like dark chocolate but I'm blown away at how many women do! The food part though is the big one. If you can make something that'll hold well or you have a good thermal device for keeping it warm/cold and fresh do that. You mention Italian and Japanese food. Can you cook well? Do you have a secret recipe that'll blow her away? I make a mean sushi roll so when I want to impress a girl I do that or I've got a dozen or so wicked recipes that can be ported. Sushi is great because it doesn't need to be chilled too much, it holds nicely and don't spill, and it's fun and sexy!
Some other ideas... rent a tandem bike, check out a play in the park, people watch, comandeer a canoe and go for a paddle, go to the beach and rent a pedalboat. A couple of these are semi-private but I doubt you will scare many women overtly. You seem like a nice kid, you are well-spoken and your appearance isn't intimidating. It's all good.
Just remember that a date shouldn't be JUST dinner or frisbee at the park. It should compound and be a collection of ideas. Is there a place that offers dance lessons in your city? That is a killer date idea, even if you both don't dance!
I just read your post about being low on funds. Window shopping is a great activity. You get to talk and mingle and physically interact at the same time as you people watch and compare tastes and interests. There are an endless supply of conversations to be had when shopping so it allows the conversation to keep flowing smoothly. | |
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| Constructive Criticism please. ^_^
Posted: 6/23/2008 11:25:17 AM |
Pack the essentials... wine, cheese, cut fruits and veggies, and dark chocolate.
Duece.... pssst... OP is 18, wine might be frowned upon by the local authortities and his date's father :) | |
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| Constructive Criticism please. ^_^
Posted: 6/23/2008 11:30:35 AM |
Duece.... pssst... OP is 18, wine might be frowned upon by the local authortities and his date's father :) Hah, that's funny. I'm not a drinker anyway so I don't think that would ever be a problem. | |
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| Constructive Criticism please. ^_^
Posted: 6/23/2008 11:33:12 AM | LOL I somehow missed that! I'm so used to the 18-year-olds being legal here in Manitoba that I missed that! Okay, so ixnay the wine but opt for something else in the beverage department.
Yes the first date should be hypothetical. But if you are an artist then by all means put that to use! Ask her to be your muse! Make some fun of it and tell her she can do you when you finish and you'll compare sketches! | |
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| Constructive Criticism please. ^_^
Posted: 6/23/2008 11:34:23 AM | Is there a place that offers dance lessons in your city? That is a killer date idea, even if you both don't dance!
There most likely is. I'll have to research it a bit though.
Sushi is great because it doesn't need to be chilled too much, it holds nicely and don't spill, and it's fun and sexy! I could make sushi. I think that a picnic is a wonderful idea. As for Italian food I can cook some pretty good stuff. I can always look up recipes too. As for the drinks, how does apple cider sound? I think it's formal-ish (as in not too generic a drink). | |
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| Constructive Criticism please. ^_^
Posted: 6/23/2008 11:37:25 AM |
But if you are an artist then by all means put that to use! Ask her to be your muse! Make some fun of it and tell her she can do you when you finish and you'll compare sketches! That sounds like a pleasant idea. Although, I am worried, would the art idea be a bit too much? | |
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| Constructive Criticism please. ^_^
Posted: 6/23/2008 11:44:44 AM | No you could have fun with it. Finger paints, as gay and childish as it sounds, is a great idea. Go to Walmart or Staples and get one of those massive floor pads and some finger paints. Buy a pack of baby wipes or some waterless hand cleaner so you can clean up afterwards. Find a nice green spot and plunk down and have fun with the paint. My suggestion is edible paints, in case the date goes REAL well! ;-)
With Italian food you can do so much for a picnic, from pastas and lasagna to antipasto, salads, soups, and other finger foods. I'm not a fan of apple cider but then again I'm not 18 either and not able to drink. That would be a drag, being an adult for three years and not being allowed to do as you please. So in this sense I really can't offer much suggestion. You could bring non-alcoholic wine or champaigne and laugh about how you're being responsible by not drinking underage or by avoiding the risk of an open liquor charge! LOL | |
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| Constructive Criticism please. ^_^
Posted: 6/23/2008 11:49:22 AM | | The finger paint sounds interesting. I can't remember the last time i used those. As for the cider, it's not alcoholic at all (as far as I know). Plus it adds to the flavor of foods like wine can. At least I think so. By the way I didn't know they make non-alcoholic wines. Is that legal for me to buy? | |
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| Constructive Criticism please. ^_^
Posted: 6/23/2008 11:54:58 AM | | Finger painting is a righteous idea, isn't it?! It's far too fun to pass up! Yes you can buy non-alcoholic wines and beers and coolers. In the beverage aisle of your grocery store there are usually a few selections, and most liquor marts also sell some. | |
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| Constructive Criticism please. ^_^
Posted: 6/23/2008 11:59:28 AM | | I'll look into the wine bit then. These are all wonderful ideas. Now I just have to put it into my profile... | |
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