| WOMEN TALKING BIOLOGY & BODILY FUNCTIONS
Posted: 5/18/2008 3:03:33 AM |
Ladies are you one of those afflicted by this urge to tell all and sundry about your periods and such like ? If so, why do you feel the need ? Please enlighten me.....
i work in the NHS, and as such, if i found it difficult to talk about bodily functions i wouldn't be very good at my job...
that aside though, i have never had any problems talking about stuff like that...probably because i was brought up in a household where farting was akin to saying "hi honey, i'm home"....my nan could fart better than any of us!
topics i have covered on forums have included lopsided labia, peeing in the bath, what's the next step when it feels like super plus tampax are falling out, and having one booby bigger than the other....
johnny, i think you're a big wuss  | |
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| WOMEN TALKING BIOLOGY & BODILY FUNCTIONS
Posted: 5/18/2008 3:11:57 AM | | Yup same here as leannie, I worked in an NHS lab and we had to use correct terminology. If we couldnt say words such as menstruation, vagina, labia etc then we'd be rubbish at out jobs. | |
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| WOMEN TALKING BIOLOGY & BODILY FUNCTIONS
Posted: 5/18/2008 5:06:14 AM | | Well if anyone want to discuss my genital herpes i am more than open about it, personally i find the female topics of discussion a little crude anyway, shame i can't reprint some of their inane cobblers here that they send in their filthy messages to me | |
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| WOMEN TALKING BIOLOGY & BODILY FUNCTIONS
Posted: 5/18/2008 5:31:43 AM | Select poems by Jonathan Swift
The Lady's Dressing Room
Apollo Outwitted
The Lady's Dressing Room
Five hours, (and who can do it less in?)
By haughty Celia spent in dressing;
The goddess from her chamber issues,
Arrayed in lace, brocades, and tissues.
Strephon, who found the room was void
And Betty otherwise employed,
Stole in and took a strict survey
Of all the litter as it lay;
Whereof, to make the matter clear,
An inventory follows here.
And first a dirty smock appeared,
Beneath the arm-pits well besmeared.
Strephon, the rogue, displayed it wide
And turned it round on every side.
On such a point few words are best,
And Strephon bids us guess the rest;
And swears how damnably the men lie
In calling Celia sweet and cleanly.
Now listen while he next produces
The various combs for various uses,
Filled up with dirt so closely fixt,
No brush could force a way betwixt.
A paste of composition rare,
Sweat, dandruff, powder, lead and hair;
A forehead cloth with oil upon't
To smooth the wrinkles on her front.
Here alum flower to stop the steams
Exhaled from sour unsavory streams;
There night-gloves made of Tripsy's hide,
Bequeath'd by Tripsy when she died,
With puppy water, beauty's help,
Distilled from Tripsy's darling whelp;
Here gallypots and vials placed,
Some filled with washes, some with paste,
Some with pomatum, paints and slops,
And ointments good for scabby chops.
Hard by a filthy basin stands,
Fouled with the scouring of her hands;
The basin takes whatever comes,
The scrapings of her teeth and gums,
A nasty compound of all hues,
For here she spits, and here she spews.
But oh! it turned poor Strephon's bowels,
When he beheld and smelt the towels,
Begummed, besmattered, and beslimed
With dirt, and sweat, and ear-wax grimed.
No object Strephon's eye escapes:
Here petticoats in frowzy heaps;
Nor be the handkerchiefs forgot
All varnished o'er with snuff and snot.
The stockings, why should I expose,
Stained with the marks of stinking toes;
Or greasy coifs and pinners reeking,
Which Celia slept at least a week in?
A pair of tweezers next he found
To pluck her brows in arches round,
Or hairs that sink the forehead low,
Or on her chin like bristles grow.
The virtues we must not let pass,
Of Celia's magnifying glass.
When frighted Strephon cast his eye on't
It shewed the visage of a giant.
A glass that can to sight disclose
The smallest worm in Celia's nose,
And faithfully direct her nail
To squeeze it out from head to tail;
(For catch it nicely by the head,
It must come out alive or dead.)
Why Strephon will you tell the rest?
And must you needs describe the chest?
That careless wench! no creature warn her
To move it out from yonder corner;
But leave it standing full in sight
For you to exercise your spite.
In vain, the workman shewed his wit
With rings and hinges counterfeit
To make it seem in this disguise
A cabinet to vulgar eyes;
For Strephon ventured to look in,
Resolved to go through thick and thin;
He lifts the lid, there needs no more:
He smelt it all the time before.
As from within Pandora's box,
When Epimetheus oped the locks,
A sudden universal crew
Of humane evils upwards flew,
He still was comforted to find
That Hope at last remained behind;
So Strephon lifting up the lid
To view what in the chest was hid,
The vapours flew from out the vent.
But Strephon cautious never meant
The bottom of the pan to grope
And foul his hands in search of Hope.
O never may such vile machine
Be once in Celia's chamber seen!
O may she better learn to keep
"Those secrets of the hoary deep"!
As mutton cutlets, prime of meat,
Which, though with art you salt and beat
As laws of cookery require
And toast them at the clearest fire,
If from adown the hopeful chops
The fat upon the cinder drops,
To stinking smoke it turns the flame
Poisoning the flesh from whence it came;
And up exhales a greasy stench
For which you curse the careless wench;
So things which must not be exprest,
When plumpt into the reeking chest,
Send up an excremental smell
To taint the parts from whence they fell,
The petticoats and gown perfume,
Which waft a stink round every room.
Thus finishing his grand survey,
Disgusted Strephon stole away
Repeating in his amorous fits,
Oh! Celia, Celia, Celia shits!
But vengeance, Goddess never sleeping,
Soon punished Strephon for his peeping:
His foul Imagination links
Each dame he see with all her stinks;
And, if unsavory odors fly,
Conceives a lady standing by.
All women his description fits,
And both ideas jump like wits
By vicious fancy coupled fast,
And still appearing in contrast.
I pity wretched Strephon blind
To all the charms of female kind.
Should I the Queen of Love refuse
Because she rose from stinking ooze?
To him that looks behind the scene
Satira's but some pocky queen.
When Celia in her glory shows,
If Strephon would but stop his nose
(Who now so impiously blasphemes
Her ointments, daubs, and paints and creams,
Her washes, slops, and every clout
With which he makes so foul a rout),
He soon would learn to think like me
And bless his ravished sight to see
Such order from confusion sprung,
Such gaudy tulips raised from dun
How gay (=Good As You) is that?
Probably IBS is a big problem for the unfortunate person. | |
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| WOMEN TALKING BIOLOGY & BODILY FUNCTIONS
Posted: 5/18/2008 5:35:52 AM |
personally i find the female topics of discussion a little crude anyway, shame i can't reprint some of their inane cobblers here that they send in their filthy messages to me
that is wrong for females on here to send you messages like that, women should talk to women about such things, it doesnt give a good impression talking to the males on here about such things, I wouldnt like it, it would put me off dating someone if they where that intimate, its ok when you know someone well, but not on here in personal messages to virtual strangers. | |
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Hope~
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Joined: 5/29/2007
Msg: 31 | |
| WOMEN TALKING BIOLOGY & BODILY FUNCTIONS
Posted: 5/18/2008 5:39:26 AM | msg 30 huh? sometimes I tell very personal things to complete strangers, where's your sense of adventure man?
OT I think it's all part of our charm, it's what makes us special 
  etc | |
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| WOMEN TALKING BIOLOGY & BODILY FUNCTIONS
Posted: 5/18/2008 5:42:43 AM | Ladies are you one of those afflicted by this urge to tell all and sundry about your periods and such like ?
This kind of information can be useful. You need to know if they have the painters in before deciding whether to bother meeting them so as not to waste your time. | |
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| WOMEN TALKING BIOLOGY & BODILY FUNCTIONS
Posted: 5/18/2008 5:45:03 AM |
msg 30 huh? sometimes I tell very personal things to complete strangers, where's your sense of adventure man?
depends what type of personal stuff, intimate personal stuff is wrong, its got nothing to do with sense of adventure its to do with morals, decency and respect for yourself and the other person. | |
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| WOMEN TALKING BIOLOGY & BODILY FUNCTIONS
Posted: 5/18/2008 5:46:14 AM |
This kind of information can be useful. You need to know if they have the painters in before deciding whether to bother meeting them so as not to waste your time. God your getting fussy, if they keep having these inconviencies than don't be seen with them~use the back door fella! | |
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| WOMEN TALKING BIOLOGY & BODILY FUNCTIONS
Posted: 5/18/2008 5:55:28 AM | Mof you really do have an unhealthy obsession with the (presumably)female back alley!!.
Can it safely be presumed that you have spent way too much time dating the baggies? | |
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| WOMEN TALKING BIOLOGY & BODILY FUNCTIONS
Posted: 5/18/2008 5:58:56 AM |
Mof you really do have an unhealthy obsession with the (presumably)female back alley!!.
Can it safely be presumed that you have spent way too much time dating the baggies?
You seem to have read out of context - I meant don't be seen entering the premises of a 'woman' who spouts off about unmentionables - just because any man you have ever met insists on backwards with the light off don't tar us all with your disgusting pervisons!
You seem tetchy - time of the month dear? | |
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| WOMEN TALKING BIOLOGY & BODILY FUNCTIONS
Posted: 5/18/2008 6:01:10 AM | See i think it is abit too much to inform about periods etc but as for the IBS i suffer badly from this and it impacts my every day life, i have to avoid ALOT of foods and drinks which means going out and on dates is increasingly difficult without telling them i have IBS, letting people know is alot easier and takes the stress away aswell.
Still have no answer for all the other stuff though lol maybe she just felt comfortable around you? | |
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| WOMEN TALKING BIOLOGY & BODILY FUNCTIONS
Posted: 5/18/2008 9:25:00 AM | Woman tend to talk to each other far more about personal or biolgical issues. Its just the way we are. We are quite open and honest about it because we see no real difference between discussing that or shoes. Many a conversation goes on in a pub loo with women you hardly know... about all matters biological.
Men(generally) are entirely different. Unless its sex, f@rting or 'having a dump'.. then its not really a relevant topic. Its just how we are made and I personally love the differences.
I have to say I wouldn't tell any man I wanted to date/have relationship anything personal that he didnt need to know.
I do have a heart conditon that can rarely play up, so I tend to tell any man I meet about it ( not in great detail) just in case it happens mid-date.!
If the relationship progresses then I will tell the chap anything he needs to know regarding my womanly parts, but only if he really needs to know it.
However my ex-partner had the full blow by blow account of my pregnancy!! well..... he said he wanted to share in it as much as possible.....!!  | |
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| WOMEN TALKING BIOLOGY & BODILY FUNCTIONS
Posted: 5/18/2008 1:26:51 PM |
Ha ha, will talk about most of this with my girlfriends (friends who are girls!!!) but OP wait til they want to tell about the most horrendous, most lengthy, most medically amazing child birth experience they have had. Now that's awful...
Thats a bit different[ when its your kids anyway]. I was present for the birth of both my sons [ but absent at the conception] .It is a bit messy , obviously, but you tend not to notice it when you've inhaled about three cannisters of gas and air, pethidine and had an epidural as I did. I didn't feel a thing . I was stoned for two weeks after and slept like a baby[lol] I don't know what the fuss is about.
Maybe, after 20 minutes of listening to you going on about your ingrowing toenail and scratching your sweaty balls, she thought it would be OK????
How the hell do you know thats what happened ? That is amazingly accurate ! Anyway, I'm hardly going to refuse a fit chick IBS or not from playing with my balls am I ? I may be a wuss but I'm not gay or stupid !
And ALL men are like this....at least everyone I ever met...and my mates have met too
Not this one I'm afraid. That would make me a hypocrite. I like to practice what I preach, awgh, I'm gonna have to return to this in a minute I'm bursting for a shite.
[30 minutes later johnny emerges from the bathroom having lost about three stone in weight]
Now where was I ? Oh yes , practice what you preach at all times or your position will become untenable and thats not a good position in which to leave yourself .
Leannie your just fecking gross ! I know your welsh but that doesn't excuse it completely. Although does go a long way in explaining your primitive, uncouth nature.
Thanks for your input guys and dolls. There's a few on this post who will no doubt be relieved to hear that they won't be on my stalking list. The lady who illustrated my point perfectly by announcing she suffered with IBS, god bless you hun  .But why the hell would you tell a load of strangers and potential dates about a very personal issue ? The mind boggles ....... lol...  | |
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| WOMEN TALKING BIOLOGY & BODILY FUNCTIONS
Posted: 5/18/2008 2:44:27 PM | I didnt announce lol but i can if you want me to??No need to "bless" me thanks!
Like i said it effects my life ALOT and could have that womans too so maybe she wanted to let you know sooner rather than later, unless she went into deep detail then yes thats over the top!!
i just simply tell people i have food intolerances and have to stay away from certain things, far from "announcing" it.
Why didnt you just ask her why she felt compelled to tell you these things? or change the subject. ... the mind boggles | |
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| WOMEN TALKING BIOLOGY & BODILY FUNCTIONS
Posted: 5/18/2008 4:54:26 PM | I didnt announce lol but i can if you want me to??No need to "bless" me thanks!
That did come across as a a little bit patronising/ condescending after rte-reading it . That wasn't my intention , but I apologise for any offence caused.
maybe she wanted to let you know sooner rather than later,
It wasn't even a date. It was just a lady I struck up a conversation with thats all. I was just using that example to demonstrate my point. The thread wasn't about IBS as such just womens need to divulge that sort of info to a virtual stranger. I don't think women make a conscious decision to make these things a topic of conversation but in general a lot of them invariably do. Personally I don't want to know about stuff like that to be quite honest unless there are reasons I need to know . I don't want to hear about some old dears toilet activities whilst eating my sandwich and trying to read the newspaper. Its gross and people should remember where they are and who there subjecting this graphic info too. I did ask the lady to change the subject but i shouldn't have to should I. Time and a place for everything EG: a doctors surgery or there own home away from the likes of me.
If you want to tell the world about such matters then thats up to you. I don't know about anybody else but I find it bizarre . | |
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| WOMEN TALKING BIOLOGY & BODILY FUNCTIONS
Posted: 5/19/2008 12:07:04 AM | Johnny- it is possible that her IBS was the only interesting thing about her!
If she had any charm, wit, humour, intelligence or sophistication I am sure her conversation would have demonstrated that, rather than confirming she is merely full of ....unmentionable smelly stuff.
I agree with you though, bodily functions are private and uninteresting to others. If (ha) I have anyone stay over, I do not even use the en-suite. | |
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| WOMEN TALKING BIOLOGY & BODILY FUNCTIONS
Posted: 5/19/2008 12:21:44 AM |
Time and a place for everything EG: a doctors surgery or there own home away from the likes of me.
If you want to tell the world about such matters then thats up to you. I don't know about anybody else but I find it bizarre .
I do understand what you mean. Before I turned medical, I worled for a few years as a counsellor. Apparently, I have an air about me that makes people relax and they find it easy to chat ot me about their personal problems. Thats I don't mind, and in a way I feel quite honoured that they feel that way, but not when its in the queue at the supermarket! Or in the library...while im waiting at the Docs surgers etc etc. It used to drive my ex-hubby nuts. "Why can't you go anywhere without people telling your their problems"
Sometimes strangers are much easier to talk to that those close to you.  | |
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| WOMEN TALKING BIOLOGY & BODILY FUNCTIONS
Posted: 5/19/2008 12:24:02 AM | i hear guys do the same thing about currys and how much they have been to the loo after and during dirnking sessions, and also letting one go and how proud they are about the smell of it!!!!!!
as for when dating, you guys can be just as annoying | |
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| WOMEN TALKING BIOLOGY & BODILY FUNCTIONS
Posted: 5/19/2008 4:00:38 AM |
as for when dating, you guys can be just as annoying
That is just not fair, I am yet to date to 'date' a man, but am starting to wonder if I should keep my options open!
I see nothing wrong with picking your nose on a first date as long as you offer to share - but why would we want to listen to wimen bleatin on and on about unmentionables and bemoaning gravity taking effect.
Now this post should help my dating fishing, not sure from which camp though! | |
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| WOMEN TALKING BIOLOGY & BODILY FUNCTIONS
Posted: 5/19/2008 7:21:12 AM |
But i do agree, it must be offputting for a bloke
No you are not being prissy
i think its fairly gross to talk about bodily functions male or female
It's just that some people take it a bit to far................especially on the first date/early stages of a relationship.................. and want to share everything with you............including private and personal information that comes into that well know catagory "to much information, thank you
anyone else feel just a little nauseous right now?
I agree with you though, bodily functions are private and uninteresting to others
My word, I don't think its ever been known for me to have so many women agree with me before now [excluding times when Ive been self depreciating ]. In my experience most ladies are so disagreeable they won't even eat food that agrees with them ! I'm shocked and not sure its a good thing or bad. I wouldn't like it at all if it meant I'm unable to get right up their noses at the drop of a hat for my own amusement. I'll have to start bugging the men which isn't half as much fun or anywhere near as easy I would suggest.  | |
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| WOMEN TALKING BIOLOGY & BODILY FUNCTIONS
Posted: 5/20/2008 10:44:18 AM | I have to say I think it entirely depends on the context of the comments made. I have had to comment about similar things at an early stage of a relationship/dating purely because I have certain foods that I need to avoid and therefore if the suggestion of going to dinner is made then I explain rather than just say I wont go to x, y and z without reason (eg I dont eat at most pizza houses or Italian restaurants as I would be able to eat next to nothing). Alternatively I need to be able to ring in advance to check if they can accommodate my dietary requirements. I do not start off giving a detailed account of symptoms, however quite often I do get asked exactly how it affects me and what problems it causes ... sounds like a no win situation if people are going to run at hearing the answer lol.
I also work for the NHS and will discuss anything and everything to do with bodily functions, although I do try and not take this level of 'intimacy' home from work with me, its fine hearing about patients bowel habits, but when I get home I cannot say I am wanting to hear too much about anyone elses! But I would never dismiss someone just for being too open and honest. | |
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