| Is it Scary sometimes to be attractive sexually?
Posted: 5/17/2008 8:49:48 PM | Quote from hopeful_73: "There are many people out there, though, who ARE incredibly attractive and are clueless about how intimidating they are to the opposite sex. (And, no, Im not including myself in this group of people.) Ive met a few women in my life who were just absolute knockouts, yet they had no idea or refused to believe it. All they kept wondering was why they were still single, thinking it had something to do with their looks in a negative way."
Thanks for that perspective! I know I'm not God's Gift, but nor am I Quasimodo, and I get a lot of people boggling about the fact that I'm still single, based on my looks and intelligence. I also get people on singles sites and in person expressing shock that nobody has snapped me up yet.
I must admit that I am clueless when it comes to my own attractiveness to the opposite sex. I literally cannot tell if some male likes me, until they grab me and try to kiss me. In my own defence I must admit that I've always been more comfortable with books, animals and computers than I've been with people, so it's likely that I've never learned to read the body language signs of male lust. Also, another point in my own defence - I weighed nearly 300 lb for most of my adult life until 3 years ago, and during my heavy time I learned through many nasty rejections not to see myself as a sexually attractive being.
Despite all this and my looks of today, I still get a lot of rejections. None of the rejectors have told me why I didn't meet their needs. My punk/goth tastes and appearance did it in some cases, I guess. Otherwise, I still don't know - I'm well-spoken, can converse in four languages, etc. I'm housebroken and grew up in a rich family with the appropriate manners. Despite my Goth/punk sensibilities, I can dress in very conservative corporate clothing when the need arises.
But still, I know that most males find me attractive, all it takes is a walk down a city street, glancing at the male faces in the vehicles passing by, and noting the lingering, intense stares. But they are not what I'm looking for. I want a man who wants to know me for more than my appearance. | |
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vro312
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Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 28 | |
| Is it Scary sometimes to be attractive sexually?
Posted: 5/17/2008 10:52:03 PM | ^^^^^
When I hear that, I always wonder how a woman *knows* what men assume. No one ever tells me why they don't ask me out; they just don't ask me out.
That would be cool, I guess, if it were because they think I am taken or because they are intimidated by me, but how would I ever know that? I find it much simpler to just assume that the men who don't ask me out don't ask me out because they aren't interested in me.
Then again, I don't look like Barbie, nor do I dress like a Frederick's model, so if I were to assume such a thing, they would also not be asking me out because I'm crazy. | |
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| Is it Scary sometimes to be attractive sexually?
Posted: 5/18/2008 12:32:33 AM | -they are promiscuous..they date a lot...they have lots of boyfriends/girlfriends....they lack intelligence...they lack personality...they are stuck up--they are bi*ches...players...sl*uts--unapproachable--unfriendly--vain--users...attention lovers...
Right on! This is the problem I have. I consider myself fairly attractive and am approached by gals all the time. It becomes really difficult to tell apart the sloots from the nice gals because they all have the same way of approaching me!
And the stereotype is SOOOOOO true. So many guys tend to spread shyt about me about how I've slept with like 15 gals or whatever. Little do they know that I was in a multi-year relationship where I was completely faithful, even when my woman was over 10,000 miles away at one point (which is when we ended up breaking up). | |
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| Is it Scary sometimes to be attractive sexually?
Posted: 5/19/2008 10:35:42 PM | hahahahahaha...this is funny! ya, i'm always on the look-out man! it's a scary world out there for people like me! LOL! j/k!
i just get annoyed everytime i get hit on by guys who don't know what "i have a bf, i'm not interested" means...that's about it...=p | |
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| Is it Scary sometimes to be attractive sexually?
Posted: 5/19/2008 11:14:22 PM | Scary how exactly?
Thankfully (lol) beauty is 'in the eye of the beholder'.....................and it takes alot more than physical beauty for me to find someone sexually attractive.
But sure, it's nice to look at  | |
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| Is it Scary sometimes to be attractive sexually?
Posted: 5/19/2008 11:27:18 PM | This can totally not be for real. I don't think any of you or myself for that matter have to worry about being toooooooo goodlooking. Now, Brad Pitt ya maybe. But there aren't any of us that fit that measure.
You all are kidding aren't you? Have you looked in the mirror ? | |
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| Is it Scary sometimes to be attractive sexually?
Posted: 5/20/2008 12:23:46 PM | Yeah everyday I think to myself how can I get all these people to just leave me alone im not just a piece of meat please stop the Whistling I have a soul im not just here for you pleasure. Yes they are real no they are not fake come on people.
Lol I just had to this thread made me laugh but yes some people are so attractive I wont approach them cause I feel they are out of my league. | |
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| Is it Scary sometimes to be attractive sexually?
Posted: 5/20/2008 12:51:07 PM | | I have no idea, because i'm not attractive. But on the other end of the spectrum, every gorgeous young woman I see frightens me. It's intimidating, and generally, you assume there's no way a gal that good looking is possibly single. | |
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| Is it Scary sometimes to be attractive sexually?
Posted: 5/20/2008 1:02:06 PM | Uhh.....could some of you PLEASE help me over here --------> they are trying to beat down my door. And I forgot my Mace and switchblades (as referenced in my post on page 1) in the car and my dogs are in the backyard right now. I can't hold 'em off much longer!
*Maverick and requiem* | |
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| Is it Scary sometimes to be attractive sexually?
Posted: 5/20/2008 1:14:53 PM | Yes, it is most annoying, and has gotten to the point where in order to compromise with my bevy of admirers, I have to hold court for all of them once a day to allow them to bask in my fabulousness. If I don't, I'd be having to replace my front door, which is costly, and my neighbors would constantly complain about the parking, traffic, and noise coming from my place. I keep telling them not to hate me because I'm fabulous!
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| Is it Scary sometimes to be attractive sexually?
Posted: 5/20/2008 4:29:42 PM | Oh, how scary it used to be. All these women throwing themselves at me. But since I've been wearing this mask, I can walk in peace. 
<<<<<<<And it's not even Halloween:) | |
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| Is it Scary sometimes to be attractive sexually?
Posted: 5/20/2008 5:15:19 PM | it's actually not a weird question, i don't think...
being a - good-looking girl, i can tell you, it is uncomfortable everywhere .
women give the dirty looks while the men oogle away.
i hate it.
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| Is it Scary sometimes to be attractive sexually?
Posted: 5/20/2008 5:31:15 PM | Serious answers are allowed I hope?
Actually... yeah... In my 20's, in Israel, where Russian gals were the cat's meow, I was near starvation and freakishly skinny, I just got married, and men in that country don't have any inhibitions whatsoever... I really envied the Bedouin (Arab) women with their black veils over their faces. I am not kidding, I really wanted an arrangement where I could see everybody and everything, but nobody could see me. You had no idea, men aged from 15 to 60 would follow me on the streets, on the beaches, many dozens a day, cyclists would cycle around me. I could pretend not to speak any human language, I could yell, beg, pretend some big guy on the street is my husband, nothing helped. I still remember with grattitude one guy on the beach who asked me what time it is, I answered him very coldly as usual, and he said he understood and just held a normal conversation with me for 15 minutes, and never asked me out. Nice guy! I would have hit on him myself if I was single.
Ahh, these were good days. A non-issue now :-) I think I look good enough to attract the people I want to attract, for the most part, and this is it. This is the way I want it actually!
My mother was absolutely gorgeous in her young days and had it even worse. Even today I hear from her friends what amazing eyes she had and how they were too intimidated to ask her out... boy did she wish they did. She was too shy to do it herself.
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| Is it Scary sometimes to be attractive sexually?
Posted: 6/15/2008 5:06:30 AM | | To be honest I just pretend that I don't know the attention I am getting. A lot of ppl feel the need to point it out to me, but it does make me feel self conscious at times. I am not floating my own boat, but it does seem that if a woman takes decent care of herself and isn't...well, dead she can garner large amounts of attention. As for the people who joke, common' now, you all know you're hot, but afraid to discuss this topic openly for fear of being called *ghasp! "conceited" I personally don't care is someone thinks I am conceited by my admitting that I know I am attractive, irl I simply pretend I have no idea, of any attention I get (do you know how hard it is NOT to look at a car that is honking by ?!?! lol)and then every one thinks I am super humble | |
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| Is it Scary sometimes to be attractive sexually?
Posted: 6/15/2008 6:02:39 AM | Lust (physical attraction - no work involved) is EVERYWHERE - Love (communication and understanding - work involved) is so rare... Only when the two come together is it chemistry...
I think when some people have a strong sexual attraction to someone who they do not know, the center of their attention might sometimes be judged (rightfully or unrightfully) on their “performance” – or they will think the other is not interested if the other is looking for an emotional connection before a physical one, which can be scary for the person attracted.
On the opposite end, to think of being judged that way is scary when people only expect or want you to physically perform, but could care less about you as a person (your feelings, desires, goals in life)… Sometimes the person with the attraction doesn't realize that they are doing this until they sit down and think about it - if they ever do.
Not to mention the most scary aspect: It's always easier to walk away than face these issues head on. Then the fear of being disposable sets in... That's scary... | |
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| Is it Scary sometimes to be attractive sexually?
Posted: 6/15/2008 6:50:15 AM | I have several female friends who are gorgeous and have been approached by all sorts of creeps.. asking all sorts of messed up questions. They do not like going to some places just because the risk of such a thing is much higher. They like to go with bigger groups of people so guys like that are more intimidated on approaching them because it makes them feel so awkward and intimidated when they would just like to relax and have a good time without having these creepy **stards hit on them. If someone comes up and hits on them politely its not a big deal but some guys are just creepy and say things that wreck there night because it so so repulsive.
I dunno I would think anyways as a woman it would be worse as guys get liquid courage and are more outspoken where as a woman when loaded and spewing verbal diarehea about what they wanna do is easier brushed off by a guy. | |
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| Is it Scary sometimes to be attractive sexually?
Posted: 6/15/2008 7:27:38 AM | Sexually attractive can be very different from physically attractive. Some people simply exude a rather overwhelming sexuality, and it honestly freaks out a lot of people. I don't know why. So the 'exuder' starts wondering if they're ugly, or else, why they seem to get people who are more interested in sex with them than relationships...
I've known so many people who are very beautiful/handsome, but not even a whiff of sexuality comes off of them. In contrast, I've met a few with, eh, average-to- slight above average looks who just have this energy coming off of them that pulls people in like a fishing line.
The truth is that while most people say they want a smoldering sex god/goddess, when a human simulation comes around like this, they bolt out of some primal fear- I just don't know what they're afraid of...being devoured. Probably some fear of being held against their will by some sexual magic. Humans can be surprisingly primitive. | |
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| Is it Scary sometimes to be attractive sexually?
Posted: 6/16/2008 4:31:36 PM | | i would not say i am the most attractive. always ben a little thick. but boys and men have ben sexualy nutty around me since i was 11, i do have this sex appeal and i am a verey good flirt always have ben. i can go unoticed if i want to. the hard part is so many get all sprung to quick. scares me off. hard to trust there intent. | |
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