| I'm stumped...am I being stupid or just impatient?
Posted: 5/17/2008 7:53:46 PM | My thoughts are you've been played,or are being played.
So,dont allow yourself to be........................
There's either an ex-husband,or a current husband.
Shes enjoying the attention...
And,as you say,how long does it take to return a txt? One minute?
Definitely sounds like you're smitten,but shes making it a lot of hard work for you !!
WHY IS THAT ??
Take a step back and away for your own sake,
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| I'm stumped...am I being stupid or just impatient?
Posted: 5/17/2008 8:04:03 PM | first of all, happy birthday to you. have a  lol. As far as the woman goes...there is definatly something wrong. I belive she likes you very much, but at same time she is hiding something. when u really care a great deal about someone as u belive she does you..you dont just not answer an email from them. as bad as i hate to say maybe she is juggling many men at same time. or maybe with her kids, her so callled ex, her job and everyting she just didnt have time to respond which i highly doubt since she had time to read them. If she dont respond soon, best i can tell ya if move on becuaes she is hiding something that she dont nwat u to know about. starting off a relationshiop like that is bad. | |
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| I'm stumped...am I being stupid or just impatient?
Posted: 5/17/2008 10:05:19 PM | | Someone else I was just talking to about this brought up a good point. If she were still married and has three kids, why would she be available for a lunch date on Mother's Day? Maybe she really is divorced. She said that her kids were with her ex last weekend. | |
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| I'm stumped...am I being stupid or just impatient?
Posted: 5/17/2008 10:10:32 PM |
Someone else I was just talking to about this brought up a good point. If she were still married and has three kids, why would she be available for a lunch date on Mother's Day? Maybe she really is divorced. She said that her kids were with her ex last weekend.
Did you see her on Mother's day weekend? On even on Mother's day? | |
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| I'm stumped...am I being stupid or just impatient?
Posted: 5/17/2008 10:31:04 PM | it is possible that one of the kids doesn't want mommy dating and deleted the phone messages. She has your number, correct?
Why don't you just chill a bit and wait for her to call you. Give her a chance to call you first for once. To me you seem a little clingy and that can be a turn off to some people. | |
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| I'm stumped...am I being stupid or just impatient?
Posted: 5/17/2008 10:40:32 PM | OP: You just need to chill out and be patient. If she really wants you around, she will call and set a time. If she takes too long to call or seems reluctant to meet, write her off.
Forget what happens with her PoF account. What's the deal with her Yahoo account? Is it still active? Is she always on chat?
The time period is way too short to tell if she's hiding something, but it's very simple. She is not reliable. She has not responded to you consistently. Do you really want MORE of that? | |
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| I'm stumped...am I being stupid or just impatient?
Posted: 5/17/2008 10:58:51 PM | No matter what the situation/reasons are......... I find the aspect that you two did talk and make plans for you to come over to check her computer and she agree with it, that she was rude for blowing you off and left you hanging.
I have always lived by it's not the words one says, but their actions that give you your answers.
If a person is that inconciderate to not get in touch with you to tell you that night isn't going to work or respond to your messages....... do you really want to get involved with someone who is like that?
This is why I went on dating hiatus..... I lack the patience for people like that. I am too old for games and people not taking a few minutes to at least touch base with you on plans you have talked about. | |
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| I'm stumped...am I being stupid or just impatient?
Posted: 5/18/2008 8:06:02 AM | | So this lady is on POF? So that means she could easily read this? WOW, if some guy I had just started dating starting writing about me or my behaviour on the forum I would be off like a shot. | |
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| I'm stumped...am I being stupid or just impatient?
Posted: 5/18/2008 8:25:54 AM |
WOW, if some guy I had just started dating starting writing about me or my behaviour on the forum I would be off like a shot.
It would appear she's ALREADY off like a shot. And too damned bad if she doesn't like the OP asking for advice here on the forums with regard to HER crappy behavior. Maybe if she acted with some common courtesy she wouldn't BE the subject of this post, now would she?
OP, you seem like a rare gem, truly. It's most unfortunate that you seem to have aligned yourself with someone of less calibre than yourself. I don't know that she's secretly married but it does sound as though she's involved in some way with a "someone." It would almost appear that she's ticked off at this someone and was possibly retaliating by putting up a dating profile or was trying to force this person into making some kind of decison. I have the feeling you were probably collateral damage, in either event.
There's absolutely NO reason she couldn't have taken 5 lousy minutes and replied to you if she had to cancel for Saturday night. It was rude, uncalled for, and in very bad form. Her mother should have raised her better.
Good luck to you. | |
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| I'm stumped...am I being stupid or just impatient?
Posted: 5/18/2008 1:53:35 PM |
she's not answering his calls anyway..
Yep. She hasn't communicated with me since we had a short text conversation on Friday morning. My suspicion is that 1) she is married and 2) her husband busted her on Thursday after reading my emails to her and seeing her account on PoF. Our conversation on Friday was probably our last. She did say at that time that she was feeling really down and melancholy because of her "ex" husband. I think the simpler answer is that she got caught and is now facing divorce and the hubby has some ammo against her now.
Who knows. This is all pure speculation. I'll be moving along now. :) This was definitely a good lesson to learn, though.
Seriously, this was my first date from here and I get played by a likely married woman? Sheesh... | |
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| I'm stumped...am I being stupid or just impatient?
Posted: 5/18/2008 2:00:32 PM | It's one experience, you'll likely have more.
Don't read any more into it than what it was, something that was a disappointment. It's just one woman, that woman. If you set yourself up for an expectation that it'll happen again, it's almost like a self fulfilling prophecy.
Try to just take it as it comes and realize if it's going to happen it will.  | |
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| I'm stumped...am I being stupid or just impatient?
Posted: 5/18/2008 2:35:18 PM | | I think most people on the site are always trying to upgrade. dont feel bad about it. you have been dealing with woman most of your life. do they seem rational to you? i believe they think most men are liars and just out for sex. this is vegas,its cheaper to buy sex and be with a 10 then have a relationship. guys that are truthful and looking for real relationships are in a tough city. | |
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| I'm stumped...am I being stupid or just impatient?
Posted: 5/18/2008 2:46:16 PM |
So this lady is on POF?
Actually, I posted this after she deleted her profile. So, unless she has created another profile, she is no longer on PoF. I wouldn't have posted this here if she were still a member.
JerseyGirl: Thank you for the kind comments. I was just posting here because her behavior seemed so odd. It's still difficult for me to reconcile her actions when we were together (or talking) with her actions when we're not together. Something just doesn't add up.
Regardless, I think it's pretty clear that something odd is going on and that I don't want any part of it.
I appreciate everyone's insight. I'm probably too trusting. I doubt I would have ever thought that she was still married if you all hadn't mentioned it. That may be the case. Even if it isn't, she's got something going on that isn't compatible with my goals. :-)
Thanks again to all! | |
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| I'm stumped...am I being stupid or just impatient?
Posted: 5/18/2008 2:54:23 PM | I would venture to say you shouldn't have text'd her Monday after your day with her Sunday. Women like mystery & men who are not so eager. I am also curious why she would accept a date with some stranger on Mother's Day of all days...seems a bit odd to me. She could be married sure or she could just not be into you based on how you were chasing her...too fast.
Try being the ahole, it might get your farther next time ;) | |
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| I'm stumped...am I being stupid or just impatient?
Posted: 5/18/2008 3:12:49 PM |
Try being the ahole, it might get your farther next time ;)
Aww, please, no, tell me you're joking! There are enough real a-holes out there that we don't need to add any more to their ranks.
I'm so discouraged by the number of people who believe women want men to treat them badly. "Treat 'em mean and keep 'em keen." There may be some tiny element of truth to it, for SOME people, but what kind of a relationship will you have based on that philosophy?
D'oh. | |
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| I'm stumped...am I being stupid or just impatient?
Posted: 5/18/2008 3:25:49 PM |
Wow, and I thought women were the only ones that overanaylzed!!
Just enjoy your birthday..She sounds interested. You have had LOTS of contact in a short time, but it might not always continue to be able to be that frequent. I am usually not the betting kind but I bet by the time tomorrow rolls around you will have an answer one way or the other of what is going on...
^^^^^^^^^^^^ I agree OP....you are looking too much into it....
It sounds like you have a relationship trying to flourish....just give her time.
She maybe having some issues with her ex and doesn't want to burden you with any of her problems or there maybe some issues dealing with her kids.
Just ease off the texts......let her come to you....I think you have chased enough, I think she realises how much you care for her..
Good luck mate....you sound like a nice bloke...I hope it all works out for you | |
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| I'm stumped...am I being stupid or just impatient?
Posted: 5/18/2008 3:27:10 PM |
She could be married sure or she could just not be into you based on how you were chasing her...too fast.
Maybe. But remember, she favorited me first in order to contact me. She gave me her Yahoo ID so I could IM her. She called me on Friday. She called me on Saturday. She IMed me on Sunday night, and she IMed me on Monday night. If there was too much chasing going on, both of us were guilty.
But, it's a moot point now. There apparently is zero chasing going now. :-) | |
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| I'm stumped...am I being stupid or just impatient?
Posted: 5/18/2008 3:31:22 PM |
Someone else I was just talking to about this brought up a good point. If she were still married and has three kids, why would she be available for a lunch date on Mother's Day? Maybe she really is divorced. She said that her kids were with her ex last weekend.
OP.....just because all the other posters are saying that she is married, you don't have to take their word for gospel...they're just offering an opinion without the facts.
My advice is find out the facts.....don't come back to this thread because everyone opinions on her are going to get you confused...
Make your own judgement... | |
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