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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/20/2008 2:36:08 PM | Personal pet peve of mine.... I cannot stand it when people are late.... I seem to be less tolerant of this with friends than I am with my GF (although she is rarely late)
I seem to always get stuck holding a table or trying to hold bar seats for my friends who are habitually 30 minutes late.... oh and no calls to say "hey I'm running late"... I call if I'm going to be five minutes late...
Drives me crazy and puts me in a bad mood for the rest of the evening....
DK | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/20/2008 2:55:42 PM | Since this is an internationally popular site, I just thought I'd point out that the lateness issue has to be taken in a cultural context . . . those of you who have expressed total intolerance for lateness wouldn't last a day in the South Pacific without going bonkers . . .
Throughout much of the world, there is a more relaxed attitude toward time . . . the pace of life is more leisurely, relaxed and nowhere near as rigorously scheduled as the hectic, clock-bound lifestyle of Western countries. Westerners tend to denigrate this way of life, seeing our way as being vastly superior because of our increased "productivity" and the "progress" it represents. Yep, we even try to colonize attitudes toward time.
And yet, when we go on vacation, where do we flock? To the places in the world where time is more languid so that we, by association, can become more relaxed. So whose way is really "better?"
So, there are no absolutes here. I imagine if you live in New York City, you'd better not be late without having a very good excuse, but if you're in Rio de Janeiro, a half-hour late wouldn't even cause a ripple. In Samoa, unless you're meeting with a government official, any time that day will probably do . . . | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/20/2008 3:59:45 PM | well... I'm not on some Island where no one wears a watch.... I live in the western world where the world runs on a schedule.... whether that is an event, movie , play, or when I'm at a pub or restaurant trying to hold onto a table with waitress breathing down my neck about how I can't hold a table if my party is not there....
Beyond that it is about respect and responsibility... If you make a committment to be somewhere at a certain time and other people are expecting you.... be on time.... or at least call and say you're running late...... not doing so is just "bad, irresponsible behavior"
DK | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/20/2008 9:21:16 PM | WeAre1 (msg 50)
As I said, if I offended, it really was not intentional. Hard words to hear? Perhaps. But, for me, I wouldn't be able to let go of even what you just said in your reply. The fact that you will call if running late, I applaud. I wasn't really trying to disect each and every post from every angle. Just using them. And if the call is made, then yes, 5 minutes late...even a few more minutes late...not a big deal at all. But even in your reply, you re-emphasize the point that you are late quite often and "prepare" others for it. The fact that you know this and feel the need to prep others is exactly one of my points. Why not "prep" yourself and not be late? It's the EXACT same thing you're asking of others. Sorry, I believe it's an excuse.
Now, that being said, I appreciate your honest and thoughtful reply to what I posted before. As for me, I will absolutely profess to being a bit "anal" about punctuality. The great thing is that it doesn't have to be knock-drown, drag-out between our two "sides".  Thanks for the points you made and again, my post was not to pass judgement. Just offer my view.
By the by... Any chance I can send you my "set-seven-minutes-ahead" watch with the REALLY loud alarm?  | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/20/2008 11:38:38 PM | Im ALWAYS late. Doesnt matter how hard I try to get out the door on-time, Im just chronically late. Im gonna be late to my own funeral, most likely.
In my defense, I tell people this upfront. So when I tell a lady Im going to be somewhere at 6:30, count on it being closer to 6:45 by the time I arrive. I cant give you a specific reason why Im always late, but its not being selfish as some have suggested. I just have a hard time being on-time...its as simple as that.
This is why I work for myself. I cant tell you how many jobs I lost when I was younger and had to punch a clock!! Maybe my being late is all part of "Sticking It To The Man!" LOL!! | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/21/2008 2:47:00 AM | I happen to be very puntual..and so do my friends. However, i did date & fall in love twice with 2 women who were constantly late. One was latino and i think her upbringing had something to do with it.I'd trick her into telling her it was an hour before..when we had to be somewhere.That worked for a little while.
The other one was constantly late..i think it was an inability of time management combined with a lack of respect and priorities(2nd fiddle) that played into it.Of course, these are all excuses in my book..because they were never late for an important business meeting, or a dentist/doctor appt. etc..etc..
In both cases, the time varied but usually ran at least an hour evry time. Its not acceptable to me and i made the necessary changes (dumped them) in my life. | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/21/2008 3:40:40 AM | Throughout much of the world, there is a more relaxed attitude toward time . . . the pace of life is more leisurely, relaxed and nowhere near as rigorously scheduled as the hectic, clock-bound lifestyle of Western countries. Westerners tend to denigrate this way of life, seeing our way as being vastly superior because of our increased "productivity" and the "progress" it represents. Yep, we even try to colonize attitudes toward time.
And yet, when we go on vacation, where do we flock? To the places in the world where time is more languid so that we, by association, can become more relaxed. So whose way is really "better?"
You might think that way but its not like that, if you make an apointment to have dinner at a certain time thier is some one thier to sit you and take your order on time, all so if you go on a tour they start with out you if your late. Even in your country you have time schueles.
people that are allways late dont take into considartion that the people they are late meeting have cause them to be late for what thier next meeting so that is very inconsidarte of you | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/21/2008 4:44:03 AM | ...so in that sense to me those who are in time all the time are a little anal really
no... it just means that they are responsible and respectful. That they are people who keep their word, who understand that other people's choices/time is just as important as their own.
if the chronically ontime people are equally nutty and compulsive about it, obsess about being on time to the same degree that the chronically late people don't seem to worry about it, then they have a problem.
This has to do with people who are chronically late- with an almost lackadaisical attitude towards it.
This won't apply to people who are 5 minutes late, now and then. Sometimes things do happen.
It's the people who seemingly don't care that their actions are negatively impacting upon other people- they say that they care but they don't stop.
If the event that you are trying to make it to just really isn't that important or big a deal to EVERYONE involved, then it's no big deal to anyone. So 20-30 minutes may not be that big an issue if all you are going to do is watch a ball game.
However, if the ball game involves your daughter, they explicitly told you that this was important and you missed ALL of her at bats, then you suck. you have some explaining to do.
Or if you are walking the perimeter, and your replacement is to be there at 0700 hour and he's 30 minute late, then you best be having a good explanation.
THe issue that the chronically late people miss/can't understand is that THEY are making the decision for someone else about what is and what is not important for the other person. The choice is no longer the other person's to make.
For FAmily GUy fans- there is a skit about the vowels having a meeting and Y suddenly shows up... chronically late as Y is only sometimes a vowel....lol... then proceeds to further interupt the proceedings by answering his cell phone... it's farce but true | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/21/2008 5:01:33 AM | ok, i understand more now. thank you for explaining it more.
ironically, I said the anal line because I am really anal about time - it's why i posted in this thread - i get so stressed if i am even a few minutes late that it is truly a problem.
so i guess i have both sides going on at the same time in me - overly aware and concerned if i am even a few minutes late and also aware i am 'guilty' of the problem. no excuses. just awareness it is a problem in me - conflict within and both sides want to win! (the one that says 'no, you have to leave now for work' (for example) and the other side that says, 'let me just finish writing this post first'. :) (again, for example)
see, it's more of an issue for some of us late ones (even by just a few minutes) than you on timers all the time might realize. | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/27/2008 7:57:12 PM |
There is NOT reason to be late, especially with everyone having cell phones;
Not everyone has a cell phone. In addition, someone can still be late, even having a cell phone. Cell phones definitely make it easier to find out what happened.
How long do I wait if someone doesn't show up on time? Probably anywhere around 15-30 minutes. I figure, if I was planning to meet them for something, I didn't have anything else planned.
I was meeting someone to get a ride for one of my activities. I waited about 15 minutes after the expected arrival, and didn't know what had happened. It seems I jumped back on the train just a bit too soon, and missed them. | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/27/2008 8:44:22 PM | | this is why i luv my cell cause i'm always late so it gives me a chance to let them know how long i'll be....i know its annoying to my friends but they know me well enough that i'm gonna be late and i'll let them know how long i will be... | |
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| People who are late, sometimes they are, or a little late, etc
Posted: 5/27/2008 8:59:41 PM | I am ok with late as long as they call..
Had a date with a guy that I was pretty crazy about at the time and it was a comedy of errors that night.. because something happned at work and he had to go to the plant and check on something.. then he left his cell phone at work.. and he needs it with him incase the kids call.. so he had gone home and shower realized the cell phone was at aork.. so he then went back and it.. Then because I lived nearly an hour away he had to drive over.. then he took a wrong turn coming to the house.. and that threw him off.. I think he was a bit nervous when he got here.. I didn't care.. I was nuts about the guy.. hehehe.. so I was glad to get to be with him.. Only thing I had puchased tickets for a benefit and so we missed that he took me to a really nice Italian place and we had a great time feeding each other and the food was great.
Now I don't like to keep others waiting like in a meeting.. but if it is casual date or something my only rule is that you call.. | |
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