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| looking for some answers about kids & gangs..
Posted: 5/19/2008 4:50:02 PM | in response to:
A completly immature and childish answer.
the OP did not give (in my personal opinion), hard facts that could be compared between her daughters "shut down" and a gang. im in no way saying that she should disregard it, i think this poster said it best:
what you described in a 12 yr old is fairly common, and your panic about gangs could be an over reaction. Kids at that tween age tend to get closer with their friends and less apt to confide in mom and dad like they once did. If you are that concerned about her new friends, and behavior, set boundaries and enforce them. | |
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| looking for some answers about kids & gangs..
Posted: 5/19/2008 4:50:45 PM | "A completly immature and childish answer."
and why is that,, because it doesnt agree with your PANIC mode of parenting?
Telling a mother to not panic and over react is not a childish responce, but fanning the flames of panic is not only childish, its irresponsible parenting. Why would you counsel her to believe the absolute worst about her child when she has no evidence of it?
" So you think doing bad things from time to time is normal? "" Umm duh,, yeah, it is,,,never making a mistake is not normal. humans are imperfect, we make mistakes, sometimes we make poor judgements. panic is poor judgement, jumping to conclusions when you have no evidence is showing poor judgement.
what bad things?? the op has only given completely vague account of the situation, so what specific behaviors are YOU talkin about? children at tween ages draw away from their parents. They tend to gravitate to their peer groups, its normal development to widen their circle outside of their immediate family.
i really dont expect you to understand, you have shown in several threads that you have this overkill, lifetime network, chicken soup, unrealistic notion about children and parenting.
all this kid has done is change some of her friends and exerted her personality,, and you are ready to toss the cuffs on her. Kids spend many years defining themselves, they experiment with different aspects of culture and society. usually its harmless, its only it the extreme that there are issues. YOU NEED TO HAVE EVIDENCE TO CONVICT THIS KID. cuz mark my words,, if this mom goes into this situation with only inuendo and suspicion without any solid evidence, she is going to lose critical ground with this kid during what is going to be a very difficult time in her development as a human person. | |
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| looking for some answers about kids & gangs..
Posted: 5/21/2008 3:20:28 AM | frances.. its not to late to save your son from this type of 'lifestyle' he`s living at the moment.. there is help out there.. copy the links that have been given in this thread & then go to the sites.. i found they are useful & quite knowledgeable!.. .. if you want, you can add me to your friend`s list.. .. maybe we can help each other threw this trying time..
Try to add you but wont let you put you on my fav list but cant eamil as not male
Sorry lol Frances | |
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| looking for some answers about kids & gangs..
Posted: 5/23/2008 1:51:54 AM | i think that what is these kids need is a father figuar , someone to spend time with them,go fishing ect. some hobbies. i know it,s not easy but not suppost to be. it,s very very hard but not immposible (been there done that ) just need a little faith! | |
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| looking for some answers about kids & gangs..
Posted: 5/23/2008 5:48:46 PM | BR.......
Easier said than done some days.
So many people feel like marriage, children are disposable.
Until men get it out of their freaking heads that children are evil creatures........ there will be many who grow up without male role models.
But you know what as a mom, I have taught my son fish, play baseball, football and even how to ride his bike.
you dont have to have a penis to teach male children these things. | |
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| looking for some answers about kids & gangs..
Posted: 5/25/2008 4:51:17 PM |
Until men get it out of their freaking heads that children are evil creatures........ there will be many who grow up without male role models
yeah, okay there cow girl...................
how about we just sit back in these threads and blame men for everything, frig....aren't they to blame for all of this?! gesh........wake up!
since when do "men" as a whole think that children are evil creatures, haven't you read any of the threads here that include many many and I mean many loving fathers.
But you know what as a mom, I have taught my son fish, play baseball, football and even how to ride his bike. you dont have to have a penis to teach male children these things
oh gesh.....here we go, someone off on their own route to crazyville! No where here are people debating a mother's ability to do the above activities, phew.....The thread is about "gangs" and women/mothers and men/fathers as well as family members, friends and ommunity workers, teachers etc. can all be positive role models!!!
Anyhow OP even thinking about warning signs your child might be gang related is a scary alarming thought. The good thing is that she still is young enough to keep close to home, hopefully. I guess if your really concerned a local drop-in center or community out reach with wonderful things for girls and boys her age may trigger her attention and keep her in a healthy safe environment at the same time giving her a bit of space and time with friends, is this an option. Also they have many outreach centers with gang related information perhaps you can speak with someone there to better inform you of signs to look for and step to take to better her future. I'm sorry I can't be of much more help, but i do hope the best for you and your family.
GPH | |
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