| Is this normal?
Posted: 5/19/2008 8:08:08 AM | | I'm not sure what you mean by 'not allowed'? Youre a grown woman, right? Since when do you need someone to 'allow' you to do the things you want to do, unless of course, you really want him to or its a condition he implied upon you when you let him keep you up. | |
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| Is this normal?
Posted: 5/19/2008 8:10:01 AM | | am I missing something here??? I'd say a couple bricks shy a load... | |
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| Is this normal?
Posted: 5/19/2008 8:14:19 AM | | Girl -- this has nothing to do with trust. This is plain abusive!!!!!!!!! I fear for you-you should know that this is not a good place to be. You need to get yourself some help. People like this guy look for people they can dominate and control. It will happen to you again unless you become stronger- you need to talk to a professional as why you allowed this in the first place. Good luck! | |
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| Is this normal?
Posted: 5/19/2008 8:15:27 AM | | Sorry lady but anybody that has to ask if that kind of behavior is normal has to be borderline ape shit nuts themselves if you ask me. | |
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| Is this normal?
Posted: 5/19/2008 8:34:23 AM | i'm so glad you got away from him now while you are young i was in a relationship that was the same way for 25 years and i was young and had been going through it for so many years and 2 kids i thought it was normal he picked a younger woman up in a bar and moved in with her it about killed me at first, I was on depression medicine and could hardly get out of bed. But now i know it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It was mental abuse and it's so nice not to live walking on eggshells anymore. So thank goodness you're out of that relationship. | |
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| Is this normal?
Posted: 5/19/2008 9:31:37 AM | Ya know....I went through a stage when I was younger (and with my ex husband) where I didn't trust him on the computer and I only trusted him around certain friends. Notice the word I used....TRUST. He did not trust you...
Now, seeing as you say he is an ex, I hope this is a non issue for you now. But, did you give him a reason to distrust you? If not, then he has a major issues.
Him getting into your e-mail etc...there was probably a script tracker on your computer. If you still have the comp, save all of your important stuff, dump your hard drive, and reinstall your OS.
~Welder's Girl~ | |
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| Is this normal?
Posted: 5/19/2008 9:46:43 AM | Beachybunnie,
I agree it's the guy's problem. The reason I asked the question is I was wondering how the overall relationship(obviously not normal) became so imbalanced in the first place. OP, did you at one point or another agree to be treated in this clearly abusively manipulative manner, or was your SO shoving it down your throat while propagandizing his fairness? | |
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| Is this normal?
Posted: 5/19/2008 10:21:41 AM | WTF...Did you ever see the movie "Sleeping with the Enemy"...Holy Julia Roberts...Please tell me you are not even talking to this loonatic...Dude needs MAJOR help...
None of those things are normal ...Not even close to being normal... | |
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| Is this normal?
Posted: 5/19/2008 1:28:05 PM | Well thats the thing, see we broke up once in the summer and got back together after a few months (this was last year) and ever since then he acted like this...(we arent together anymore, but hes still being a nutso!)
Im only asking because even though im 18 ive already been in 2 relationships over 2 years...(basicly since i was 14) and both have treated me then same, what I would like to figure out is if its something im doing? Like how to spot something in my actions that might attract these sorts of men to me? | |
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| Is this normal?
Posted: 5/19/2008 1:50:08 PM | Zombie geek, you have already started helping yourself by KNOWING that it is something YOU are doing that is attracting those type of men. Go back to all 3 relationships and find the common ground...write it down...WHY were you attracted to them? What was it about them? You should find similarities among all 3.
Are you self-confident? How's your self-esteem level?
Be grateful you do not have that man in your life anymore...his behavior could have gotten worse....he sounded extremely controlling.
 | |
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| Is this normal?
Posted: 5/19/2008 2:17:57 PM | | Run - run - run and do not look back... | |
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| Is this normal?
Posted: 5/19/2008 2:24:01 PM | Hi Zombie geek. ^^^^^whoissue, as have many others before her, has given you excellent advice. The only addition I would make to what she says in her post is to also look back to the very first time you met each of these men:
What was it about them that drew your attention?
What similarities exist in the way they acted toward you/around you that first time?
Being a survivor of a long ago abusive relationship, I can relate to what you say in your OP. At the same time, I can also relate to what others say about the fact that the abused allows the abuse. In my case I was at a very low point in my life...with self-esteem and depression issues, so the attention this man paid me swept me into a relationship with him before I had a chance to really look at the warning signs. He was so very charming, handsome and attentive. What a snake!!!!!
Having matured and grown through several relationships since that time, one thing I know for sure is the first time a man thinks he can boss me around will be the last!!! He will no longer be on my "interest radar." I am worthy of much better than that sort of cr*p, and so are you!! | |
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| Is this normal?
Posted: 5/19/2008 2:29:52 PM | | Wow. Just wow... Do you need a bathroom pass to go to the bathroom too? And yeah, start running. | |
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| Is this normal?
Posted: 5/19/2008 3:05:04 PM | Honey, the only thing you're missing is two black eyes. That's what your going to get when you hang out with a creep like that.
You need to educate yourself on the cycle of abuse and how women fall for the same personality types over and over. Before you go on another date. Listen to the ladies here and be safe. Controlling types don't like to give up. | |
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| Is this normal?
Posted: 5/19/2008 3:40:24 PM | OP,
I ought to make #s for some of these responses and just put them in my profile:
1)Respect yourself
2)respect your SO
3)make absolutely certain your SO respects you.
Do not allow others to treat you like this. | |
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| Is this normal?
Posted: 5/19/2008 3:42:44 PM | | Grow a pair girlfriend, you're 18 and no man or woman has the right to tell you what to do except your parents. If you continue to accept this level of BS you're going to have a miserable life. | |
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| Is this normal?
Posted: 5/19/2008 3:46:16 PM | | Ummm,the words CONTROL FREAK comes to mind.Be glad he is your EX.Kepp him your EX too!No,this is NOT normal.TYRANT also comes to mind. | |
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| Is this normal?
Posted: 5/19/2008 3:47:04 PM | are you ****in' kiddin' me?
do you really have to ask this question?
or are you asking it to verify your own stupidity?
come on now, go back to waco
everybody comes to the answerman | |
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| Is this normal?
Posted: 5/19/2008 3:50:47 PM | OP you need your own “not allowed list”
1. You are no longer allowed to be within 10 miles of me.
2. see 1
3. see 1 | |
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| Is this normal?
Posted: 5/19/2008 4:01:56 PM | Wow. Merely wow.
Only wow.
This is a joke right ?
Yikes. Just yikes. | |
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| Is this normal?
Posted: 5/19/2008 8:26:34 PM | | i agree, hes a controlling jealous insecure freak! Hun, run, run as fast as you can away from this guy. Shouldn't have rules like that. | |
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| Is this normal?
Posted: 5/19/2008 8:42:35 PM | | Cuddlybuddy, EXCELLENT post too! I thought that too...what did she first think when meeting all 3! Ah! Great minded ladies think alike! | |
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JAC43
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Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 48 | |
| Is this normal?
Posted: 5/19/2008 8:52:30 PM | | Usually when men do that kind of stuff. They are the one's who are cheating. Because they know what they do | |
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| Is this normal?
Posted: 5/19/2008 8:57:22 PM | | You should know the answer to that Zombie geek. RUN ZOMBIE RUN!!!!! | |
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| Is this normal?
Posted: 5/19/2008 9:01:08 PM | | yes op..his behavior is normal...perfectly normal for a control freak.... | |
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