| Really confused
Posted: 5/19/2008 7:07:51 PM | | I have to say that I'm really confused too. I just don't understand how you can flat out tell her that you are not at the same place that she is and STILL continue seeing her. You know you are leading this lady on. If you know that she is wanting something serious, why not end it. It's better than feeling pushed into something you are not ready for. There is a solution to every problem and sometimes we may not like what the solution is, but it has to be done. Let her go and concentrate on getting your life together. | |
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| Really confused
Posted: 5/19/2008 7:59:47 PM | | I think you shouldn't of bothered getting into a relationship with someone til you have your shit together. Not fair to her. I'm sure all she wants is commitment, next level being living together... I know from expierence, long-distance relationship takes alot of work and not everyone can handle that or only can handle it for so long. Maybe she doesn't want to eventually have the long-distance break you two up and wants you to work and stay together. Just tell her, if she's willing to wait, let you try to get a job in your field, save some money and then that's when you will move in with her... if she can't wait, then break up and remain single til everything is in order with your life. | |
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| Really confused
Posted: 5/19/2008 11:12:25 PM | OP No wonder this poor girl you are 'seeing' is confused as I am too.
alsoI never said i was unemployed, in fact i'm working 2 jobs, but they are not worth much, what I meant by looking for a job is looking for a job
I just graduated from college and don't have a job, .....Ok so you cleared this up, but there is no need to get narky with posters just because you wrote the wrong stuff in your opening post. As soon as posters picked up on you not working you suddenly changed your mind and became suddenly employed with TWO jobs!
Personally I don't think you have the 'chemistry' thing happening with this woman.
sheesh i thought women would respect that .....Visit your own profile then tell me you are not open to dating as there is nothing in your profile to deter a woman from dating you.
If you have been sleeping with this woman for 7 months then perhaps you have given her false hope. Respect her and stop leading her up the garden path. | |
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| Really confused
Posted: 9/13/2008 3:24:36 PM | Hi all! I just thought I would pop in and say....I am the one that he is talking about. Yes we were together 7 months and yes I did get pushy to a point but it was more about defining our relationship (was I a girlfriend or what?) because I know that the relationship was more then friendly. I wasn't asking him to move in and I wasn't asking for marriage but I did want to have that special feeling of being his girlfriend. He is a wonderful person and I did finally end it. Through the grapevine I have heard that he did get a great job and better car because his truck sucked gas. He definately has his sh*t together and one of the only problems we had was that he was scared of any commitment. I still adore this man and think that sometimes people cross paths at the wrong time and then in the future pass again and it is the right time.
Thanks to all that tried to help him out on here!!!  | |
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| Really confused
Posted: 9/13/2008 3:30:06 PM | I think four kids could confuse anyone. Really.
The first smiley is mr. grins, the lead chaser is justice-girl followed by her keiki-gang. | |
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| Really confused
Posted: 9/13/2008 7:19:00 PM | Maybe you read or are aware of the book titled, "He Just Isn't That Much Into You" Or something like that.
The fact is, if you were really into this person, you would be right there and ready to go. Anything else is just an excuse for lack of interest, even if you are unaware that is the reason.
And there is nothing wrong with that!! It is what it is! | |
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| Really confused
Posted: 9/13/2008 7:22:17 PM | | all woman are different, and no one man or woman should feel or even be forced to have sex with another person. You need to lay down the law and tell her if she can't respect you that it's over. | |
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| Really confused
Posted: 9/13/2008 7:26:11 PM | hey... I was in your exact situation a little while ago.
If this girl really digs you and is mature enough to understand life doesn't revolve around partying she might stick around for a bit. However, with that said you should be upfront and tell her where you're at, and why you're hesitant about a relationship. If that's too much for her, she's probably not the right one for you.
cheers. | |
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| Really confused
Posted: 9/13/2008 7:50:50 PM | | She deserves better. This situation can only be resolved if you talk to her and be honest about how you feel so she can move on with or without you. It's obvious you are not ready for a relationship with her. You are not interested in her enough. | |
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| Really confused
Posted: 9/14/2008 12:06:21 AM | To The lady who posted That He was Seeing.
I think you have made a wise choice.
After 7 months you needed to know where you stood.
You both were at different stages Of your life.
No use wasting another 7 months even if he is a top guy.
Best of luck to you.
OP
Finish your studies
Get the job that you are aiming for.
If you cant commit, be honest and up front.
Friends only, FWB, or what ever.
That way women know straight up and dont waste 7 months of their lives. | |
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| Really confused
Posted: 9/14/2008 1:12:22 PM | i had to post somthing seeing as i have read both sides of the storie now
I think if you got something to take with you out of the relationship
a lesson learned ,a good memmorie ,if it brings A smile to your face if you ever think back then weather or not you are still together or not the relationship was a success in one way or another .
take the good memmories and leave the bad ones in the past and tink of it as another of the many lessons learned in life.... | |
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| Really confused
Posted: 9/14/2008 1:27:13 PM | | Hey OP...I hope by now this situation is resolved for you one way or another. My only comment is to please not send this woman mixed signals. So when does this start being a commitment? The only thing I can see is you both getting hurt unless you sit down, look her in the eye and tell it like it is. I was in a relationship with a guy for six months that I met on here and he took me out to dinner to meet his mom and everything and the very next day he is on POF sending a rose to some other woman..so go figure????? If you are already in a dating situation why the heck are ya still on here anyhow? It only causes hurt feelings and where is the honesty in that. You are right about one thing for sure you need to examine your life and find what you are truly looking for. Good Luck! | |
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| Really confused
Posted: 9/14/2008 3:40:59 PM | hey, why don't you tell her everything the way it is. I mean just say her that you are broke right now and can't afford to support her and have serious relationship, if she is willing to deal with you while you don't have any money, and still loves you even when you not at the best point of your life. What kind of women do you need? I mean there is soo many women out there that look in your pocket before they look at you. If she will be willing to help you and I would be you, I would start being more serious with her.
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| Really confused
Posted: 9/14/2008 10:04:45 PM |
hmmm.... not arrogant of me to think that he should be thankful that someone would put aside the fact that he is still very much a work in progress... she was good enough for him to be with when he had nothing..... and now that he is looking to stabilize.... he isn't sure she is what he wants??? again.... I say he isn't into her...
and sorry... you can change careers late in life.... but there really isn't a reason to be unemployed....
arrogant of you to think that we're NOT all "works in progress" our entire lives, and that the best people can find themselves unemployed for a myriad of reasons.
he's asking for positive feedback. Yes dude, it's OK to focus on yourself when you need to. But it might not be a great idea to date right now. Take care of yourself instead. | |
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| Really confused
Posted: 9/14/2008 10:09:19 PM | | Wow, I feel much better now! Now that I can see that you are in a good place, in grace and love about all this. Blessings. | |
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