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| Is sex really THAT powerful?
Posted: 5/20/2008 12:57:29 PM | The magic vagina convinced the President of the United States of America to cheat on his wife...I'd say sex is pretty powerful.  | |
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| Is sex really THAT powerful?
Posted: 5/20/2008 1:20:21 PM |
Yes it has brought down many a political career. and caused many divorces.....we are just animals
Actually, you're dead right about that. We do have the capacity for rational thinking but our 'reptilian brain' gets first priority in issues of survival, etc. http://www.crystalinks.com/reptilianbrain.html
I agree with Olyman that we should know how we work; we'd do well to stop pretending we're far from the animal world because, in truth, we still have a lot of that world operating inside us. | |
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| Is sex really THAT powerful?
Posted: 5/21/2008 9:58:14 AM |
(Msg 29) I never use excuses for anything..if I'm not attracted to him, I say so..and I don't go out with him again..dave..why on earth do you think women do that regularly? We don't need an excuse...we just say we aren't interested? Now, if I am interested...I go out with him again.
Because I’ve heard/seen that on different threads here. Women have written that a break-up is much more “traumatic” if they have had sex with the guy. The interpretation I got from the posts is that if/when a woman has sex she becomes inexplicably attached to the man so she wants to be cautious, however, from reading this thread it seems like it’s just as often used as an excuse for not being attracted enough to the guy.
In other words it sounds like a woman is saying, “I don’t want to have sex with you because I’ll become so attached to you and I don’t know if you’ll stay or leave.” From reading these replies it appears that isn’t the reason. It seems the reason is because they just don’t want to which is why I asked those questions in the first place.
I’d be remiss not to mention Nickphilosoph’s post,
(Msg 28) That is btw why the theory that we men go for ONSs is a myth, if the sex is real good, who is stupid enough not to keep the rel going, as long as it is?
That has always confused me. Some women will say men just want sex and then turn around and say they are only interested in a ONS. It doesn’t make any sense. As you state if men like sex and they are getting sex they are going to stay. | |
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| Is sex really THAT powerful?
Posted: 5/21/2008 10:38:02 AM | ^^ Just like a woman who likes the sex she is having with someone will stay. :)
Is sex really that powerful? Yes, for some it is sacred. For others it becomes that powerful when love comes in....so, my answers to your questions? re: saying they won't have sex for fear of attachment and potential broken hearts later?
1. How many times does one have to have sex before that happens? Um, I'm going to guess here and say 10. (joking)....it's so individual - for some that kind of thinking never happens, and for others attachment is what 'lets' them have sex to begin with.
2. Does having sex once cause you to fall uncontrollably in love? Perhaps, but again, the love might be there in order to have the sex. Sex can certainly help to feel love, and it can hinder too. No two people and no two relationships and no two sexual times are ever the same, so how can one put this into generalizations and others' experiences if you're looking for answers to go by??
3. Is that just an excuse one uses when other factors are in play such as not being attracted to the guy? I have no idea - I think it's a pretty detailed and very worked out lie if it has no truth to it. I would never say it to that degree. But there are times I have felt I will not sleep with someone because I don't know them enough and I might get too connected with them (attached to them) when I feel I don't really know them.....but for fear of it leading to a broken heart if they later leave me? no. If anything, the fear of them leaving comes with saying no to sex with them!
one more thought, for me, it's not even my mind that says yay or nay to sex with someone - it's always my body and my heart.....instinct... and that's what i follow. | |
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| Is sex really THAT powerful? It all depends on your hand.
Posted: 5/21/2008 10:57:57 AM | This is the deal -
1. JACKPOT - Some women genuinely believe the act of sex can be the foundation of a relationship. Using this thought process, they create images in their own minds of what "magic" could result from having sex with someone. Then, because they are madly in love with the idea of achieving this fairytale, they don't want to "screw" things up, therefore they abstain.
2. The POKERFACE - Women who are not physically attracted to a man don't want to hurt his feelings by being honest, or allow themselves to feel in anyway obligated to have pity sex, therefore they try to boost his ego by pretending they would be afraid of becoming too attached to him after having sex, even though that really isn't the case. This is all an attempt to spare his feelings, but it is dishonest.
3. STRADDLE - As far as having sex once causing a person to fall uncontrollably in love.... I promise to post the answer to that one if and when it happens. | |
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| Is sex really THAT powerful?
Posted: 5/21/2008 11:33:47 AM |
It doesn’t make any sense. As you state if men like sex and they are getting sex they are going to stay.
Dave, Dave, Dave. This may be true of some men, some of the time--but it sure isn't the overall experience of most women I know when it comes to casual encounters.
from reading this thread it seems like it’s just as often used as an excuse for not being attracted enough to the guy.
My, you sure are hung up on this "excuse." Why can't the reason--any reason--given be true even if it's not the entire reason? And why is it so important for you to know exactly why a woman says no? So you can figure out how to circumvent it?
--Ms. Flis | |
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| Is sex really THAT powerful?
Posted: 5/21/2008 11:40:33 AM | Women have written that a break-up is much more “traumatic” if they have had sex with the guy
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I didn't see where they used it as an excuse in the posts on this thread, which I'd assume represents other women's thoughts too. Surely you have heard the old phrase, which came first the chicken or the egg. The posts in this thread indicate to me, that women want to be attracted, seriously, to a good man. Not some partyboy or playa out for fuknchuk. So I doubt these gals are really worried about the breakup, didn't I see a bunch of replies here that most women seem to want the emotional connection to go with the sex. Its not that powerful, thats how these gals can hold out so good!
I don't know anyone who is so forward thinking as to worrying about we might break up even before they are a couple!!! Unless they are the neurotic type.
But yes of course, the more sex you have with someone, probably the longer you two are together. Think of it this way: If a woman or man and or a man and a woman, only date a couple of times and don't have sex, they probably Have Not developed deep feelings, have they? I mean they could, but seriously, what do you think? And then if guy or girl says "its not working for me" or " you aren't my type", it would be real easy to break things off, plain and simple. That happens on this site 100's of times a year. Or do you think the number is higher OP? | |
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| Is sex really THAT powerful? Well Duh!!
Posted: 5/21/2008 11:58:10 AM | Kudos to fancinanci! Confucius say, " what indeed is the powa of sex?" hhmmm
Finally, another human being with intelligence. This chosen topic reminds me of a MAD TV parody where a deep philosophical inquiry is parodied about something that is clearly a self evident truth that needs no more pondering. It is tantamount to philosophizing poop. What is the point??? Even an average dumbass as myself knows the answa to this seemingly, burdensome quandary. OK grasshoppas, embrace this eternal truth since Adam and Eve, to the end of human existence: Sex is powerful; Sex is Power. If it were not for sex, men would only hang with men. Men hate women by nature. They love sex by nature. 75% of public advertising has a correlation to sex. Why? Well duh!! Virtually every movie or show has sex as an underlying subplot or theme. Why?? Well duh! One cannot open a magazine without being inundated with sexual inuendo images. Why?? Well duh!! Porn is a trillion dollar industry. Why?? Well duh! Preachers, upstanding community leaders, politicians, and the like, ruin their careers and their families over sex. Why??? Well duh! We live in a fallen world because of Adam's fall in the garden. Why did Adam eat the apple? Because in order to have great sex with Eve, he was compelled to eat; not because he liked freakin apples, but because he liked yamaguchi ( Fijian for juicy vagina ). The notion that men are sexual and women are not is a total myth. Both men and women by nature are equally sexual beings. In fact, I would argue that women enjoy sex more than men andf can easily qualify it. A.) Women orgasm much longer and more times than a man typically; B.) Some women can even expel large quanities of squirt juice, so in effect, can ejaculate 50 times more fluid than a man; C.) Women go breserk during orgasm manifested by maniacal screaming & bring the house down moaning that registers 1.9 on a richter scale, something of which very few men could emulate. So, based on these realities, one would be hard pressed to convince me that men are the sexual animals and women are simply emtional cripples who appease their men by having sex as some sort of perfunctory duty--what a total load of balderdash.
In the final analysis, Sex is power; sex is everything, it is the cause of marriage, divorce, disgrace, incarceration, unemployment, and yes, even war. Hitler waged WWII because of sex. That is a fact. He may be the only 56 yr old to ever die a virgin. Yes, he married Eva Braun, but never had sex with her. He hated sex period for all kinds of reasons. I can explain if you want to know more. I am a historian and can qualify my assertions. Had Hitler not been tormented by his aversion to sex, he never would have sought power to commit genocide and develop a master race of one group. This was grounded in sexual dysfunction. The Japs would not have bombed Pearl Harbor because there would not have been a Hitler part of the Axis and therefore Japan would not have the confidence nor desire to attack a major power as the U.S.
My ultimate point is to demonstrate that sex is power. Is it really powerful?? Well DUH!!! | |
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| Is sex really THAT powerful? Well Duh!!
Posted: 5/21/2008 12:08:59 PM |   
touche' Dag!!!! it is, after all, how we all got here.... so if it wasn't powerful, then we really would have something to worry about. | |
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| Is sex really THAT powerful?
Posted: 5/21/2008 12:36:20 PM | 1. How many times does one have to have sex before that happens?
I've had two long term relationhships, the sex was the attraction to begin with and I was very attached to the good feelings I got from having sex... so much so, I didn't bother to take a look at the lack of compatabilities.
2. Does having sex once cause you to fall uncontrollably in love?
No, I've done it once and never done it again and never felt the urge to do it again.
3. Is that just an excuse one uses when other factors are in play such as not being attracted to the guy?
For me it isn't an excuse, it is a fact when I don't know if there are other factors in play. The last thing I want to do is hop into bed, give a guy the idea that I am attracted to him (other than sexually) and then have to tell him down the line that I am not attracted to him in other areas of the relationship.... I've been there (without intention) and it would be just plain nasty to do again to someone.
I don't want to have sex with someone just to have sex with someone, I want to have sex with someone because both of us know and are comfortable with where it is (or is not) heading. If that makes sense. | |
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| Is sex really THAT powerful? Well Duh!!
Posted: 5/21/2008 1:15:29 PM | The notion that men are sexual and women are not is a total myth.
one would be hard pressed to convince me that men are the sexual animals and women are simply emtional cripples who appease their men
by having sex as some sort of perfunctory duty--what a total load of balderdash.
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Well ya! Most healthy normal people dont believe any of that. Who you hanging out with and what does it take to become a myth? There is always one in every crowd who think most women use sex itself as weapon, but thats pretty rare I think. Unless you call eating apples weapons. Like the hitler example, there is one in every crowd, or just one, thank God (and thank you God for those yummy apples, I like 'em) and those Yummy women, I like em too, and If I date one and we don't click after a couple dates...Back to POF it is to try again to find "the one". Because I know deep down in my heart of my heart, it feels ecstatic to go to bed and wake up with the woman who makes love to me. | |
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| Is sex really THAT powerful?
Posted: 5/21/2008 1:44:36 PM |
As you state if men like sex and they are getting sex they are going to stay.
Only have a minute here..but, Dave...maybe guys who have few or no other options, or guys who are interested in more...but, I'm not trying to avoid those guys..it's the OTHER ones I'm cautious about...which there are far more than you always believe..no matter how many times women tell you it's true...even though it's the women who would know? | |
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| Is sex really THAT powerful?
Posted: 5/21/2008 1:51:26 PM | Ok, here's my question to all you men & women out there... if you met someone, dated, fell in "like"...got along well, all that jazz... HOWEVER, he was unable to have sex (for whatever reason, but hypothetically, unable to have sex... or maybe just once in a blue moon for a few minutes...), would you remain in the relationship or would you cut ties and move on? How important is sex to you in a relationship?
Men? what do you say?
Women? How do you feel about this? | |
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| Is sex really THAT powerful?
Posted: 5/21/2008 1:56:11 PM | Sex is very powerful but it is more about trust.
1. once
2. No, not uncontrollably in love but you are trusting someone and to have them suddenly lose interest after getting what they want, after you believed they were something special, can really play a number on you.
3. No it is not just an excuse but there is more to it than that. Women who wait want it to mean something and not just be an act of sex. Especially in this day of std's you are taking a risk with anyone new. You don't want to jump into something and find that the person you let that close is someone you don't like at all. Women can just enjoy sex though but usually if they jump in bed with you right away you are not someone that they like enough to be serious about and they are just using you for the sex. So take it as a compliment if they like you enough to wait because it could mean they think you could be something special and don't want to blow it by rushing into it. | |
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| Is sex really THAT powerful?
Posted: 5/21/2008 2:03:01 PM | # 60 "If it were not for sex, men would only hang with men. Men hate women by nature."
Really? Men hate women? By nature? And if it wasn't for sex, women would have no other value to men........as human beings??
I don't need (or want) an answer by the way....it's just that no matter how often I've seen or heard those words before, they
never fail to make me wish I had never been born. Drastic perhaps, but that's the way I feel and have always felt...ever since I
was just a little girl and I learned the 'truth' ( and my rightful place).
On topic...
Yes...sex is a powerful force indeed. For approximately half the world's population, sex is the reason they were put on this
earth for. It's why they are valued and tolerated as human beings. So yes...I'd say that sex is THAT powerful...wouldn't you?
JMHO
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| Is sex really THAT powerful?
Posted: 5/21/2008 2:18:05 PM | Who is more powerful.. Sex or God??? I say we get the two in the ring on a pay per view HBO fight and let um slug it out... 
Where the hell is Don King when you need him????  | |
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| Is sex really THAT powerful?
Posted: 5/21/2008 2:36:13 PM | women say they don't want to have sex right away because they'll become too attached to the guy and end up with a broken heart if he leaves.
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Alrighty, I'll bite. I vote "true". I'm like the OP, I've heard many women on this site say that. Its an emotion, not an excuse. if we had Dr Phil here, I wonder what he would say? In February he had an episode on this, and he tried to explain to the groom to be, that a lot of women want to wait for some type of commitment, in this case marriage. I don't know if anyone on the show thought it was an excuse because the guy wasnt' good looking enough, or just plain not desirable to the woman.
I see other replies, that for some reason, don't address the OP's topics. Don't you guys and gals read before replying? | |
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| Is sex really THAT powerful?
Posted: 5/21/2008 3:21:48 PM |
(Msg 58) Why can't the reason--any reason--given be true even if it's not the entire reason? And why is it so important for you to know exactly why a woman says no? So you can figure out how to circumvent it?
Circumvent:
1. to go around or bypass:
2. to avoid (defeat, failure, unpleasantness, etc.) by artfulness or deception; avoid by anticipating or outwitting: (dictionary.com)
Just the choice of words tell a lot. What happened to one wanting to know so they can address the problem? Why would half truths and less than full disclosure be preferable to straight talk? Is that the way to start a relationship?
(Msg 59) And then if guy or girl says "its not working for me" or " you aren't my type", it would be real easy to break things off, plain and simple. That happens on this site 100's of times a year.
What I’m asking is does sex really make breaking up more difficult which I have seen women write on other threads? Is it a case of “I don’t want to have sex because I’ll become too attached to the guy and won’t want it to end even if I realize he is not the right one for me” or is it a case of “I don’t want to have sex too soon because if things don’t work out and we split I don’t want to feel used or have the guy think I’m easy.”
There is, IMO, a big difference between those two “thoughts” or reasons.
(Msg 65) Ok, here's my question to all you men & women out there... if you met someone, dated, fell in "like"...got along well, all that jazz... HOWEVER, he was unable to have sex (for whatever reason, but hypothetically, unable to have sex... or maybe just once in a blue moon for a few minutes...), would you remain in the relationship or would you cut ties and move on? How important is sex to you in a relationship?
Men? what do you say?
It’s the most important thing because it is the one thing only your partner can supply. Other things such as activities and wanting to have deep discussions about political parties or other interests can be sought out and enjoyed with others.
We never hear people say, “OMG, he played a game of golf with her” or “I’m so heartbroken. My husband had an in-depth, political discussion with our neighbour!”
If fidelity/faithfulness/ monogamy is at the top of anyone’s list then that means sex is at the top of their list. The unfortunate part is, going by profiles, it appears many people have difficulty making that connection. | |
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| Is sex really THAT powerful?
Posted: 5/21/2008 4:26:37 PM | What happened to one wanting to know so they can address the problem? Why would half truths and less than full disclosure be preferable to straight talk? Is that the way to start a relationship?
...
What I’m asking is does sex really make breaking up more difficult which I have seen women write on other threads? Is it a case of “I don’t want to have sex because I’ll become too attached to the guy and won’t want it to end even if I realize he is not the right one for me” or is it a case of “I don’t want to have sex too soon because if things don’t work out and we split I don’t want to feel used or have the guy think I’m easy.”
There is, IMO, a big difference between those two “thoughts” or reasons.
Dave, you just keep hammering away at having to know why (some) women don't want to have sex right away, despite having heard on many, many threads from many, many women the myriad reasons why they choose to delay it--or not. When does what you've already learned become enough for you?
--Ms. Flis | |
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| Is sex really THAT powerful?
Posted: 5/21/2008 4:33:38 PM | What timing!!! I just hid my profile a few days ago because I'm frustrated with this very issue! For me, it's usually not about falling in love or becoming attached, but more about guilt and commitment.
Men seem to be able to date multiple women and have sex with them without concern. I've tried to date like a man, but just can't do it. I end up committing serial monogomy, for lack of a better term.
I've found that once I have sex with a man, I start to wonder about things like, "Who else is he seeing?", and "Do they have sex?" or even better, "Can I trust that he's not lying to me about other women in order to have sex with me?" Often, I'm not ready to make a commitment at this point, but still have that old script running through my head. Knowing this hasn't help silence it either.
Having sex doesn't cause me to fall in love, but I suspect that it causes men to lose interest and move on to the next gal--kind of a "bagged that one, who's next?" attitude. | |
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| Is sex really THAT powerful?
Posted: 5/21/2008 5:06:31 PM | Re post 60 as it relates to the Opost:
".....Hitler waged WWII because of sex. That is a fact. ....... Had Hitler not been tormented by his aversion to sex, he never would have sought power to commit genocide and develop a master race of one group. This was grounded in sexual dysfunction. ......My ultimate point is to demonstrate that sex is power. Is it really powerful?? Well DUH!!!"
Firstly I do not agree that men hate women and that we hang out with the only due to the sex thing. Why? Because although many women are drama queens, I find that all other men boring to discuss with anyway.
How, as the per Hitler theory. I do agree that sexually repression or dysfunctions can make a man or woman turn into power hunger. But that does not mean, IMO, that sex is a substitute for power. People turn to the "power trip" IMO because of the absence of the physical and mental satisfaction that good sex offers. Not that some women and men not use sex as a weapon or power tool. But mostly, sex is not about power. It is about celebration of life and the senses (hedone). Luck of good hedone or sexual taboos may make men and women nasty, vicious, power hungry, etc.
IMO, sex has the power to make us happy and, via its absence, nasty and vicious. But sex is not about power. Ie, those who cannot make love (or been jaded), make war. | |
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| Is sex really THAT powerful?
Posted: 5/21/2008 5:14:22 PM | now what a minute mr internet!! im a woman and i can tell u that i haven't ALWAYS wanted love b4 sex :P and women love sex too.....and for me....men are the source of sex...and some men love men....OR other women..not me!!! and i personally have never made a man prove his love by goin w/o sex.......but then again...i might not fit into ur stereotypical view of my gender.
as for my young cowboy friend, he was actually quoting his grandmother.....as some cowboys often do | |
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| Is sex really THAT powerful?
Posted: 5/22/2008 1:01:57 PM | Well, I would say it is intoxicating 
On a serious note - as well as it boosts your system (immune too  ) it also make you feel vulnerable. | |
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