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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:57:25 AM |
growing up my dad was a mechanic so I assumed all guys knew how to put things together and fix things.
Being raised by my mother who is a homemaker so I assumed that all women knew how to cook and clean.
I'm all but sure I'll be bashed for that but before you do read into the 1st quote. Best of luck to everyone  | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:24:51 AM | Txsippigal,
sounds like your ex husband is stupid for not acknowlegding your work and if he cared so much he should have done something about it a long time ago, it would save him the naggin. | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:50:32 AM | | Aw, it's not so hard,c'mon. Allyagoddado is put the doohickie into the whatchamacallit on the thingie. Sometimes the thingamabob doesn't fit perfectly, so you have to force it. And don't even get me started on toilets! | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/6/2008 1:30:43 AM | Beauty in nature...you have to understand, there are way too many bitter folks that say one thing in a forum, and will say something completely different to your face.
Noting that, allow me to make a couple of suggestions that might help (and before you anticipate it...this will not be another attack at you):
The type of person you're meeting is what I call, "a me person". These "me persons" are after one thing and one thing only...self-gratification! If you wish to attract a different type...first, you have to stop sleeping with them, until you really get to know them (and I'm not talking a couple of days to a few weeks). As you do with drugs, you must learn to "just say no."
In fact, if you tell them that upfront, you will find out just how many "me persons" there are on this site.
Second, I would recommend that you take a look around the forums. Unfortunately, what you will see are 'many angry men'. Not all men on this site are angry, but there are a vast number of them.
Sadly, they've 'unlearned' many of the 'basic concepts' their parents taught them. Now, let me explain why they've decided to 'unlearn' these things. Many of these men have run into very independent women who don't want the guy to do anything for them.
Then, these same men date someone who DOES want them to do something for them, and they get confused, not knowing which way to turn. They get b-i-t-c-h-ed at if they do, and b-i-t-c-h-ed at, if they don't. So, they don't know which way to act anymore.
Somewhere along the way, several hundred of them read some silly book that was advertised (written by a man, of course) on the internet. This book told these guys that they had to be "REAL MEN", and to "GROW SOME BALLS", if they ever wanted women to respect them...and since then, they've been 'TRYING' to 'ACT' the part of a 'REAL MAN' which is alledgedly someone who USES WOMEN, essentially. The bad boy type, most women grow out of by the time they hit their late 20's to early 30's, of course...but, don't tell the guys this, because they're not supposed to know. :(
Naturally, this type of behaviour attracts many of the 'female kids', sadly, and those that are VERY insecure of themselves. However, that's about it!
Those who haven't read it the book, hear about it from other 'ANGRY MEN', and then, sadly, attempt to mimic the rest of the children's behaviour. :(
You see, in the book, it tells these guys they're going to 'get lucky', if they act like 'bad boys' and treat the woman like crap, because many women like this.
Of course, nothing could be further from the truth about 'a grown woman', but it does work on the kids (teens to 20 something), who don't know what to expect, and haven't learned that men aren't going to change their 'basic' nature and become good guys, just because she flashes a bit of...well, you get the idea, I'm sure.
Needless to say, many women who think the guy is going to change (once he falls in love) will accomodate these 'ANGRY MEN 'and these women will tell them that they're "the independent type" who just wants to get laid, same as him. And, they go on to say, they don't need him, etc., etc. Most of these ladies will claim, they don't 'want' a 'REAL RELATIONSHIP' regardless of whether they mean it or not.
Of course, this vicious little cycle continues on and on, with neither sex being happy. The men remain angry, the women continue to pretend, and everyone is pretty miserable. Go figure!
Naturally, the answer to the men is simple...ASK the woman which type she is, and then, he can avoid the backlash. The ones that aren't what he would like in his life, he simply doesn't date. And, the answer to the women is, stop telling them B.S., and start being who you really are, so that you don't continue to feed the shark frenzy. He's not going to change just for you, ANYMORE then he did in the past!
You could also refuse to date him if he begins to act like that, from the beginning. :) It's simple, if he's not a gentleman, or he refuses to think of you, first, (as you would do for him) don't date him, ever! Otherwise, just expect to be his bed partner and that's it!
If that's all you're after, though, ladies...you could always look up a few sex sites that you could sell yourselves on. ;)
Of course, this is all my 'personal' opinion, and based on hundreds of interviews done with women and men, for a 250 page book I previously wrote, re the subject. :) I hope it helps. | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/6/2008 1:40:08 AM | omg...mine too! sad isnt it?? mine would not do a DANG thing for me, yet you let him MOMMY or SISSY or any stranger come along and there he was, being MR RIGHT NOW! oh how it hurt my heart! when i couldnt even get him to hang a shelf in the laundry for me. Once....I had a necklace that needed fixed really bad! It was my very fav! He wouldnt fix it, wouldnt fix it...then we went to Sunday school where he was the teacher, and this complete stranger came into the room and she just happened to have a big knot in her necklace! OMG~!!! he grabbed it from her and worked on it for an HOUR!!! i glared holes thru him! LMAO!!! finally, one of the gals asked me what was up ..so i just said, why dont you ask HIM!??? he acted all innocent , like he didnt have a clue. The next week, he gave my necklace to our MECHANIC!!! and had him to SOLDER IT!!! can you even imagine! he ruined it cause he was too dang cheap and lazy to do anything fo rME but would go outta his way for anyone else!!!
I think its a matter of ettiquette sometimes and how you are TAUGHT!!! i really really do! he ws NEVER made to respect his folks, he ran over them and controlled them and does to this day.... | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/6/2008 8:11:45 AM | sweethang100 ~ I was going to send you a email so that I could critique this but since you don't accept emails from my age or gender I guess I won't. So I'm going to do it on the forums.
Noting that, allow me to make a couple of suggestions that might help (and before you anticipate it...this will not be another attack at you):
We will see about the "not another personal attack on you"
The type of person you're meeting is what I call, "a me person". These "me persons" are after one thing and one thing only...self-gratification! If you wish to attract a different type...first, you have to stop sleeping with them, until you really get to know them (and I'm not talking a couple of days to a few weeks). As you do with drugs, you must learn to "just say no."
In fact, if you tell them that upfront, you will find out just how many "me persons" there are on this site.
There is a lot of truth in this post. I personally know a lot of "me persons." Male and oh my Female. My sister is one of those whom I live with. Anyone mentions there head is hurting then she'll "one up" and tell everyone how sick she is and how you should deal with it because she's much worse and "does" (I quoted that because she says she does but as much as she complains it is clear she doesn't).
Second, I would recommend that you take a look around the forums. Unfortunately, what you will see are 'many angry men'. Not all men on this site are angry, but there are a vast number of them.
A lot of truth except you left out one small detail there is also many angry women on this site. Not all but there are a vast number of them.
Sadly, they've 'unlearned' many of the 'basic concepts' their parents taught them. Now, let me explain why they've decided to 'unlearn' these things. Many of these men have run into very independent women who don't want the guy to do anything for them.
I have seen this type of situation 100's of times where the man tries to help and gets yelled at so he says "If I'm getting yelled at, forget it, she'll be the last one I offer to help."
Then, these same men date someone who DOES want them to do something for them, and they get confused, not knowing which way to turn. They get b-i-t-c-h-ed at if they do, and b-i-t-c-h-ed at, if they don't. So, they don't know which way to act anymore.
AH the damned if you do damned if you don't. No matter which way you choose your damned. We try and help we get b!tched at if we do we get b!tched at.
Somewhere along the way, several hundred of them read some silly book that was advertised (written by a man, of course) on the internet. This book told these guys that they had to be "REAL MEN", and to "GROW SOME BALLS", if they ever wanted women to respect them...and since then, they've been 'TRYING' to 'ACT' the part of a 'REAL MAN' which is allegedly someone who USES WOMEN, essentially. The bad boy type, most women grow out of by the time they hit their late 20's to early 30's, of course...but, don't tell the guys this, because they're not supposed to know. :(
So we read a book by a man for a man. Um so when do men don't know men? I'm confused, are you saying we are so dumb we don't know our selves? According to you most women grow out of bad boy type in there late 20's early 30's. So that means the nice guy type (the opposite of bad boy type) has to wait til then to have a substantial relationship with said women. How bout this I've never read any books based on the "player/bad boy" guy. I think they are so silly and dumb. So I don't agree with the books but I also don't agree that just because it was a man that wrote it, the book is wrong.
Naturally, the answer to the men is simple...ASK the woman which type she is, and then, he can avoid the backlash. The ones that aren't what he would like in his life, he simply doesn't date. And, the answer to the women is, stop telling them B.S., and start being who you really are, so that you don't continue to feed the shark frenzy. He's not going to change just for you, ANYMORE then he did in the past!
How come the answer for men is always "simple" are you saying we are all "simple minded?" Why don't you try being a guy "ASKING" the woman what "type" she is. Another damned if you do damned if you don't.
Over all I liked your post except for some of the obvious "one sided" issues. But I will say great try. I am the type of person that isn't scared to speak up. All that I've got to say is that I did disagree with your words but I did not get personal. So I expect the same. You may or may not disagree with me. But if you get personal that is just wrong.
Best of luck to everyone | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/6/2008 9:14:12 AM |
but ever since my divorce, every man I've met is only intersted in sex and wont' or can't fix things or even hang a picture for me. What is to be expected about this in dating? I guess I am meeting the wrong men(?) and feel so stupid.
Sounds like you are trying to barter?
Geezo woman take some classes learn to fix your own chit!!!!!! Self reliance it is not overrated.
Ps Where do you find these men who are only interested in sex? | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:00:24 PM | | I'm with you Indigo, I guess this whole thread is hard for me to understand because my mother is single, has always been completely self reliant and loves to fix stuff. She's got more power tools than any man I've ever known. I'm not saying that if a man can help he shouldn't but there's nothing wrong with women knowing how to do things that are usually associated with men. It makes you more independent, saves money and puts a lot of negative stereotypes to rest. | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:04:15 PM | OP, just learn how to do things for yourself. Why are you depending on a man to hang up a picture or "fix" things for you?
Just because a man isn't a "Bob Villa" doesn't necessarily mean there is something wrong with him. lol
Is this a "deal breaker" for you? Surely there are far more important attributes in a man than this?
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:12:40 PM | | Are you serious? lol I love feeling helpful, when I hear that a friend might be doing something that may require a hand I'm usually first to sign up, and that's not even for someone I'm going out with! | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:24:04 PM | i LOVE THAT!!!! thanx for that input. Which leads me to MY thread.... http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts10340006.aspx
My Momma is the best cook in the whole world. NO KIDDIN. people flock for miles to get her homemade bread, jellies, jams, grapejuice, fudge, and potatoe soup!! no kiddin
But i cant cook to beat the band. Never can figger what goes with what. etc
I used to really enjoy cookin so its not that so much, but living in an abusive relationship where the food got smashed over my head more than consumed, well........that probably has a big factor in the matter.
Anyhow, thanx for that!!! This is exactley the kind of input i was looking for in my thread | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/6/2008 1:07:29 PM | Re: Sweetthang:
your on the right track,and I don't disagree with your post,I offer this for consideration.
It is possibe to get a man to do many things for a woman,because deep down we like to
be needed.But if there is no genuine show of appreciation ,after awile we get smart and
quit doing things for her.
ie:Let me cook you a great dinner for[add relivant job here]or you worked so hard on that,let me rub your shoulders for you.It's all good,just be willing to offer up something
that you can so we don't feel like we just got used.
You also made a comment ['' bad boy types,most women grow out of it by their late 20's early 30's] For all the women who ask where have all the good ,responsible men
gone.That quote holds your answer. If we were very lucky we found a good woman that wasn't chasing after bad boys and married, probibly for the rest of our lives.
The rest of us got tired of watching the bad boys get all the action so a lot of us
converted.You do what works, if alter boys got all the action,we 'd all be alter boys.
Women created for the most part this situation by putting value on the bad traits in
a man instead of marriage sustaining good ones. Then this woman ,turns thirtyish
with a couple of the bad boys kids in tow,andasking where are all the nice guys now?
Were hiding ,not good enough for yoy then,not interested now. | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/7/2008 12:07:40 AM | Pardon the lengthiness of the post. I'm attempting to respond to two posters below:
Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house Posted: 7/6/2008 8  45 AM sweethang100 ~ I was going to send you a email so that I could critique this but since you don't accept emails from my age or gender I guess I won't. So I'm going to do it on the forums.
I didn't know my profile won't accept an email from from your age or gender. Sorry about that. What age or gender would that be, so that I can try to correct it. That's weird, considering I didn't set it at anything specific, hmm...
Noting that, allow me to make a couple of suggestions that might help (and before you anticipate it...this will not be another attack at you):
We will see about the "not another personal attack on you"
Wow, did I pass the test? hehe Whew...wiping brow. ;)
Ok, now, you will see my original post, your post and then my response. This might get a bit confusing folks. :(
The type of person you're meeting is what I call, "a me person". These "me persons" are after one thing and one thing only...self-gratification! If you wish to attract a different type...first, you have to stop sleeping with them, until you really get to know them (and I'm not talking a couple of days to a few weeks). As you do with drugs, you must learn to "just say no." In fact, if you tell them that upfront, you will find out just how many "me persons" there are on this site.
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There is a lot of truth in this post. I personally know a lot of "me persons." Male and oh my Female. My sister is one of those whom I live with. Anyone mentions there head is hurting then she'll "one up" and tell everyone how sick she is and how you should deal with it because she's much worse and "does" (I quoted that because she says she does but as much as she complains it is clear she doesn't).
I wish I understood that about your sister does part, but, alas, either I'm very tired, and shouldn't respond...or it didn't make sense. Take your pick. Needless to say, I'm going to take a gander at it, and assume your point was that it applies to men and women both, right? If that is what you're trying to say, I agree, wholeheartedly. However, since she's talking about the MEN she's dating, I said it in retrospect to the men she's dating. If it was a guy speaking, then, it would apply to women. However, she's not dating women, though, hehe, so it really wouldn't matter to her.
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Second, I would recommend that you take a look around the forums. Unfortunately, what you will see are 'many angry men'. Not all men on this site are angry, but there are a vast number of them.
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"A lot of truth except you left out one small detail there is also many angry women on this site. Not all but there are a vast number of them."
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Of course, what applies to one sex, also applies to the other. Just because someone DOESN'T actually say it though, doesn't mean that it doesn't apply. Some might be offended that you don't mention it both ways. Personally, I really don't think it matters one way or another. Again, the op was discussing men, not women, since she's not dating women. Thus, I was referring to men.
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Sadly, they've 'unlearned' many of the 'basic concepts' their parents taught them. Now, let me explain why they've decided to 'unlearn' these things. Many of these men have run into very independent women who don't want the guy to do anything for them.
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I have seen this type of situation 100's of times where the man tries to help and gets yelled at so he says "If I'm getting yelled at, forget it, she'll be the last one I offer to help."
Yes, this is exactly what I meant.
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Then, these same men date someone who DOES want them to do something for them, and they get confused, not knowing which way to turn. They get b-i-t-c-h-ed at if they do, and b-i-t-c-h-ed at, if they don't. So, they don't know which way to act anymore.
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AH the damned if you do damned if you don't. No matter which way you choose your damned. We try and help we get b!tched at if we do we get b!tched at.
You seem to like repeating me, hehe. Are you going somewhere with this, or are you just having fun? ;)
Somewhere along the way, several hundred of them read some silly book that was advertised (written by a man, of course) on the internet. This book told these guys that they had to be "REAL MEN", and to "GROW SOME BALLS", if they ever wanted women to respect them...and since then, they've been 'TRYING' to 'ACT' the part of a 'REAL MAN' which is allegedly someone who USES WOMEN, essentially. The bad boy type, most women grow out of by the time they hit their late 20's to early 30's, of course...but, don't tell the guys this, because they're not supposed to know. :(
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So we read a book by a man for a man. Um so when do men don't know men?
Aha, so you admit it, hehe. Point proven! The problem with it is that you read a book written by a man, about women. Since when do men know about women?? Oops! Even you say women are confusing! ;)
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I'm confused, are you saying we are so dumb we don't know our selves? According to you most women grow out of bad boy type in there late 20's early 30's. So that means the nice guy type (the opposite of bad boy type) has to wait til then to have a substantial relationship with said women. How bout this I've never read any books based on the "player/bad boy" guy. I think they are so silly and dumb. So I don't agree with the books but I also don't agree that just because it was a man that wrote it, the book is wrong.
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Dumb? Did I call you dumb? Hmm...is that one of those anger issues again? Ugh!! Shhh...calm down, now. Don't blow a gasket. Shhhh, it's ok, sweetie. ;) There, there, Doesn't that feel better? Whoo, goodness. Yes, most women grow out of that in their late 20's and their early 30's. Yes, most people should honestly wait til then to have a full blown relationship, actually. There is a reason for this, and it actually constitutes the high divorce rate amongst early 20- 30 year olds. It's called maturity, and an ability to see past one's self. Well, if you haven't read the book, why did you say you did, before? Hmm...anyway, thank you for telling me that. Although, I don't think they're dumb, they clearly cannot help the average male to determine what the lady is saying or thinking...simply because a man doesn't speak the same language as a woman. Thus, what the writer wrote isn't in the same language as how the female means the information when she speaks it. Does that make sense?
Translation: the writer might hear the lady (his sisters) say to him, "Yeah, well, if they're going to take me out and pay for me to eat, of course, I'm going to do so."
What the writer (since he's a male) hears is, "She's taking the guys for a ride."
However, in actuality, the way the woman is saying it, she means: "I appreciate him doing it, but I'm not really that into him, but he's friendly and he's offered, so I'll accept going out with him. After all, it's better than staying home and doing nothing by myself."
See the difference? However, that's not the way the writer puts it across to his readers. Instead, he makes the guys ticked off at women, instead, by telling him, "Don't pay for her meals, she'll only learn to take advantage of you, and she won't respect you."
That's the difference between what the male writer hears and how the female writer puts it across. When I was writing my book, I was very specific as to what the females mean, when they say something. It was written in comedic form to excite your funny bones. And it works. However, what the male writers use, because of what they hear the woman say (except the actual therapists that have been studying male and female interactions for years...such as Dr Phil), are considerably different...and very wrong!
Naturally, the answer to the men is simple...ASK the woman which type she is, and then, he can avoid the backlash. The ones that aren't what he would like in his life, he simply doesn't date. And, the answer to the women is, stop telling them B.S., and start being who you really are, so that you don't continue to feed the shark frenzy. He's not going to change just for you, ANYMORE then he did in the past!
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How come the answer for men is always "simple" are you saying we are all "simple minded?" Why don't you try being a guy "ASKING" the woman what "type" she is. Another damned if you do damned if you don't.
Why, would you prefer difficult, as opposed to easy? hehe Is that another anger issue again? Down boy....shhh, easy now. It's ok! :) Reality is, you just have to learn HOW to ask. That's another lesson that's covered in my book, hehe. ;)
Over all I liked your post except for some of the obvious "one sided" issues.
Well, thank you, kind sir.
But I will say great try. I am the type of person that isn't scared to speak up. All that I've got to say is that I did disagree with your words but I did not get personal.
Again, I thank you. :)
So I expect the same. You may or may not disagree with me. But if you get personal that is just wrong.
Personal? Moi? Never! hehe
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Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/6/2008 1:07:29 PM
Re: Sweetthang:
your on the right track,and I don't disagree with your post,I offer this for consideration.
It is possibe to get a man to do many things for a woman,because deep down we like to
be needed.But if there is no genuine show of appreciation ,after awile we get smart and
quit doing things for her.
ie:Let me cook you a great dinner for[add relivant job here]or you worked so hard on that,let me rub your shoulders for you.It's all good,just be willing to offer up something
that you can so we don't feel like we just got used.
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Are you saying that you're seeking something in return for being a good boy? hmm...
Love is about doing for someone simply because you care. It's not about anticipating what you get in return. That's what makes it love! If you turn it into she's not doing this for me, so I'm not doing anything for her, eventually, it becomes no one does anything for anyone, because she won't want you to do anything for her, if she has to PAY for it, either. So, do it out of the goodness of your heart, not because you expect her to pay for it.
However, ladies...please take note of what the gentleman is saying. He's saying, he doesn't feel appreciated because you're not showing him something that makes him aware that you appreciate his efforts.
So, you might wish to try to understand that the more you show your fellas how much you like what he contributes, by doing those special things for him, the more likely he will do more for you. It's a two way street. So, get out those appreciation kisses and let them fly his way. ;)
<div class="quote"> You also made a comment ['' bad boy types,most women grow out of it by their late 20's early 30's] For all the women who ask where have all the good ,responsible men gone.That quote holds your answer.
So, does that mean that you're making other women pay for what 'some' women did to you when you were younger, or are you still chasing younger, less experienced women? hmm...
If we were very lucky we found a good woman that wasn't chasing after bad boys and married, probibly for the rest of our lives.
Some of you fellas were lucky, hehe. And some of you fellas are divorced already, and not so lucky, anymore. :( So where did you go wrong? I'll tell you where...the difference between the two languages. That's where!
The rest of us got tired of watching the bad boys get all the action so a lot of us
converted.
That's very sad that some of you converted. So, let me ask you this: Are you getting any action now? No? Well, maybe that's because the women you're dating aren't the same age group? If you are...then, you're probably still burning the hearts of kids and very insecure women, which explains why many are still angry. That is sad! Oh, my. Don't go too young, though...before 18 is jail bait. ;) Just remember that! I don't want to have to come visit you in jail cell 16, along with bubba, your butt buddy. ;)
You do what works, if alter boys got all the action,we 'd all be alter boys.
You probably would...and if all your buddies jumped off a bridge because it looked like it felt good, you'd probably follow them too, right?
Ahem, last I checked, you fellas were supposed to be adults. Now, come on. You already know that when you're an adult...usually, you've already learned NOT to follow the crowd. Just because everyone else is doing something illegal, doesn't mean you should, does it? And just because it looks like fun, doesn't mean you should do the same, does it? I mean, if everyone did that, we'd all be jumping out of planes, regardless of our health, etc. I can see grandpa now...whoohoo, I'm 97, a heart attack survivor, on O2 and I'm going to jump out of a plane, now...just because I watched my new friends do it, who are all 20 something.
Our world would be a sorry place, if we all did things like that, just because someone else was getting a little action, instead of us, eh? Maybe it's not because they're bad boys, but because they gave the woman something she was lacking in, as she was growing up. Did you ever think of that? Maybe she was abused by her father, and she was trying to fix her father's problems by finding someone identical to dear ol' dad, so she finds someone that isn't committable to her. Then, the gal learns that she can't get dear ol dad #2 to give her anymore love than when she was growing up, and she learns to let go of the fantasy. Is that possibly what's really happening? So, you become dear ol' dad. You get laid at the expense of this kid, who will hate you later. Then, she goes on to abuse your next buddy, because of you. Still want to be 'dear ol' dad' for that 20 year old kid?
Women created for the most part this situation by putting value on the bad traits in
a man instead of marriage sustaining good ones.
Actually, many marry the good ones. The bad boy usually gets left in the wake of things, as the relationship turns sour. Oh that's right...you good guys never stuck around for the grand finale, eh?
Then this woman ,turns thirtyish with a couple of the bad boys kids in tow,andasking where are all the nice guys now?
Nah, most married some nice guy, and then, moved on...only to find out that the good guy was so busy being angry over all his 20 something girlfriends, who alledgedly did him wrong when he was younger, that he decided to screw the new wife over for all the past gfs he had. Then, the ladies end up 30 something, wondering where all the good guys went, hehe. ;) Have to get the story straight now. ;)
Were hiding ,not good enough for you then, not interested now.
I suspect many women are saying, "Oh well, your loss!" hehe, while they find some new 'nice guy' to marry again that doesn't have an anger issue left over from his past.
Take a chill pill, fellas..you're going to burst a bubble or something, hehe.
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/7/2008 11:20:59 AM | "A lot of that stuff takes a specialized skill set to fix. Fixing an answering machine or DVD player can be easy as hitting the right buttons in the right order or as intricate as soldering things. Most of the time it actually ends up less expensive to fix things yourself, but we live in an economy that values shiny-new things."
Not necessarily. DVD Players are getting cheaper and cheaper.. If it breaks down and fixing it requires me to actually unscrew and open the thing up. screw it it's not worth it. I'd rather spend $50 bucks on a new one then spend time repairing it only to have it break down again a week later.
it's not just about your money it's about your time. | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/8/2008 12:51:45 AM | | Zain, if you can fix it, great. If you can't, it's easy to tell the lady that. Many WON'T even do that. That's what the op is saying. They won't even make the attempt. It used to be that these things were passed down from father to son. Now a days, that's not done and so...most boys never learn how to fix even basic things. I agree with you, though...many times, the item is too electronic to mess with. However, it used to be that guys would try, regardless. Then, somewhere along the way, men became more feminized...and the line was crossed. Fathers stopped teaching sons how to do these things and the tinkerer became the tinkered out. :( At least, that's what I believe occurred. | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/8/2008 1:43:39 AM | I would think a bloke was pretty cheeky if he asked me to put a zip in his pants if we were still at dating stage. I would think he was a cheap skate who doesnt want to wipe the cobwebs off his wallet to take them to the menders. Now if I was in a more solid relationship then I would probably be the first to offer my services while he fixed my heavy back gates, see?
There are many women like you who have been left high and dry after years of falling into traditional roles during a marraige and having things done for them, some even never bother learning to drive, then they get the shock of their lives when hubby's gone!! My advice to young men or women would be to never depend on anyone else for ANYTHING. Learn to do it yourself, and have a savings fund and pay for a tradesman if you cant do it yourself. | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:58:18 AM | As someone who sucks working with his hands, I find this amusing. When I want something fixed, thats what the maintenance man is for in my apartment building. Or the mechanic's kids Im putting through college when my car breaks down. lol!
There are some guys who simply arent good with fixing things. Hell, even with instructions Ill screw up a simple shelving unit or TV stand! To make the assumption that most guys are good with fixing things is the same as assuming most women are good cooks. Its simply not true and its a bad route to take to generalize.
My ex-wife could fix a car and didnt mind getting her hands dirty at all. Me? Im the computer geek who will wire up your place with all the latest technology & can give you the best surround sound youve ever had. Put me under the hood of a car, though, and its going to end in tears!! | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/8/2008 6:29:40 AM |
It used to be that these things were passed down from father to son. Now a days, that's not done and so...most boys never learn how to fix even basic things. I agree with you, though...many times, the item is too electronic to mess with. However, it used to be that guys would try, regardless. Then, somewhere along the way, men became more feminized...and the line was crossed. Fathers stopped teaching sons how to do these things and the tinkerer became the tinkered out.
I think there is a measure of truth to that, sweethang100... I grew up with a TV repairman grandfather, and a physicist father, both of who were "fixers"/tinkerers, so in some ways its "natural" for me (what I grew up with). My uncle (fathers brother, sadly deceased now) was in the Air Force, I remember one year he built a plywood xmas tree for the front yard with sequenced LED's for lighting, and hacked one of those small portable FM transmitter/Mic's to broadcast xmas music to people driving by...
I remember as a kid having an "electronics project kit" from Radio Shack (like the proverbial "chemistry kit") - I actually don't recall seeing anything like that in R.S. the last time I was there (and they used to have a decent parts selection, although in recent years its certainly declined and they've become more of a 'consumer electronics' shop). I think a lot of that is also 'societal', but also technological - it was far easier (for me) to fix some electrical piece of equipment made with discrete (off the shelf) parts, whereas today many items are manufactured (cheaper, less labor) with only a few custom ASIC's (application specific IC's) made just for that purpose, for the vendor.
Look at your car... back when I grew up, you carried a nail file around in the glove compartment and you could just "file" the points. Now its a $400+ computerized electronic ignition module that ties into everything else, sensors monitoring the engine RPM, mass airflow sensor, emissions, etc. Heck, ok, you can plug in a tester into the electronic ignition and practically have it tell you whats wrong, but then thats a very specialized piece of equipment that most people don't have "handy" (and wouldn't use enough to probably make it cost effective). Plus back then we had cars where you could practically climb in next to the engine and close the hood, today its a mass of stuff with barely inches to spare (but we get better mileage and less emissions, so the theory goes).
Plumbing, some carpentry, tiling - yup, hasn't changed much over the decades, can-do. Fixing the car, other than the basics I'll take it to someone who's job it is (and who can take my engine apart and rebuild it in matter of days, probably). DVD player, pfft, I'll try to clean the lens - but I bought my last one (single disc) for like $40 - if I take the cover off and spend more than 30 mins looking at it, much less have to order a part and have it on the bench for weeks to fix it? Nah, much easier to just buy a new one (sadly). | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/8/2008 6:39:16 AM | My question to the OP . Why depend on a man to those little repair jobs around the house when you can learn to them yourself?
Take a course in home repair ..Home Depot has classes and so do some Night schools
Plus its a great way to meet people
Ps Dated a so called contractor last year everything he fixed in my house had to be fixed again. And the woman before me did her whole house over again . She used his competition | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/8/2008 6:46:53 AM |
I got real dependent on my ex husband because he was such a great fixer around the house, but ever since my divorce, every man I've met is only intersted in sex and wont' or can't fix things or even hang a picture for me. What is to be expected about this in dating? I guess I am meeting the wrong men(?) and feel so stupid.
OP, without reading 10 pages
Do you expect the men you date to fix things in your house for you? It sounds like you're using them.
If that's what you want from the men you date, I suggest you write up a clear contract
hang a picture = a bj
fix my toilet = round the world
and so on
The "wrong" here is your attitude. | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/8/2008 11:10:45 AM |
Zain, if you can fix it, great. If you can't, it's easy to tell the lady that. Many WON'T even do that. That's what the op is saying. They won't even make the attempt. It used to be that these things were passed down from father to son. Now a days, that's not done and so...most boys never learn how to fix even basic things. I agree with you, though...many times, the item is too electronic to mess with. However, it used to be that guys would try, regardless. Then, somewhere along the way, men became more feminized...and the line was crossed. Fathers stopped teaching sons how to do these things and the tinkerer became the tinkered out. :( At least, that's what I believe occurred.
I think it is ok to help some one when they need it. But if they are handing me a list every week of things they need fixed...I will just walk away. I have my own things that need fixing, my own life to live.
Then, somewhere along the way, men became more feminized...and the line was crossed
Funny to complain about it now, but you are taking for granted all the freedoms you have now, you did not have way back when. If you wish to go back to the way things were....
It used to be that these things were passed down from father to son. Now a days, that's not done and so...most boys never learn how to fix even basic things.
In those days women stayed in the home cooking the meals & doing the laundry...now both genders have to do it, that includes learning to fix some of their own stuff. | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/8/2008 11:19:11 AM | Beauty,
I wouldn't feel stupid because there are plenty of us guys out here that love honey-do's and don't mind a bit. Not sure why you haven't run across more but keep lookin'.
Lance | |
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