| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:38:06 AM | | I totally can not fix things. It is not my fault I was just not given those skills. I have a hard time nailing a nail in a piece of wood. It is wrong to assume that to be a "man" you have to be good at fixing stuff. | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:51:29 AM | I think I must have a serious communication problem, because it is pretty clear to me, every time I have written it.
If you don't know how to fix something, then please don't try to help if you don't know what you are doing. That never ends well!
It is natural for men and women to help each other with problems they know how to fix. If you have a ripped shirt or a button that fell off and you don't know how to fix it, but I do, isn't it natural for a woman to offer to fix it?
Wouldn't it also be natural for a man to offer to fix a broken pipe if he knows how, than to sit on the sofa watching college football?
The deal is that when you care about someone, it is natural to want to help where you can.
If you DON'T want to help, I question how much you actually care for the person. Even if you aren't an expert in the field. Many people have common sense and can usually figure it out with little trouble.
If people are afraid of being used if they help someone they care about, then we are all screwed. Look outside and figure out why this world is going down the tubes. | |
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| Guys who can't leave anything broken behind'em
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:00:33 AM | Bein' one of those men with 267 power tools (no Binford, sorry Tim)
and enough interest in the world to learn a bit..about as much i can....
(now, i can't really say i DON'T watch TV...but, between McGyver, and Home Improvements....and aside from the race or 10...GO 24!!!-i do not watch any ball sports) i've been blessed with the mechanical aptitude to literally fix anything...
and always preferred to be DOING something, even mindless, than watch someone else do it on the tube.
i have no compunction to not helping someone out. ... its not quid-pro-quo, or only for the ladies. It IS gratis.....USUALLY.
However, there ARE times...that an innocent little project...finds broken pipes, electrical shorts, termites or other unseen hazards...sometimes with SHOCKING clarity!
But beware and be forewarned, if i begin to quote esoteric eastern teachings, masters path "Wilsonisms".... and other sage drivel....( i probably will) lol! | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:06:36 AM | Call it "old school" if you want, but I *love* a man who wants to fix all the broken things around my place to help make me more comfortable. I think it shows caring! Call it "old school" if you want, but I love cooking a man dinner and then cleaning up, and doing his laundry, too. It is probably the generation I came from. I love to wait on a man. It pleases me and I just wish I could find a man who wants it!
I wouldn't worry about what other people think or say. This is the forums after all. People will spew negativity and bash you simply because they don't agree with you. You know what you want in a partner and there is nothing wrong with seeking the type of partner or relationship that you are use to, comfortable with or desire.
I was married to someone who was very handy and did all of the work around the house. I have often wished I would have thanked him more for the things he did. I have learned that sometimes we take things for granted in relationships and should say thank you more often.
After being on my own for so long I have learned to do a lot of things I never thought I would be able to do. I did it with the help of do it yourself websites and going to the big box hardware stores and attending some free workshops they offer.
I still would much prefer to have someone else fix my toliet (fine call me old fashioned too) so I could make him a nice meal to thank him. But oh well if I have to figure out how make the thing stop running all of time by myself... I know I can do it. Even if it takes me a few weeks to figure it out! 
If people are afraid of being used if they help someone they care about, then we are all screwed.
I agree :) | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:12:40 AM | Eh, interesting aside to this, I knew a woman a few years ago - we'd met through mutual friends, wasn't really interested in a relationship but she was going through radiation for ovarian cancer, so I took her out to dinner a few times (just on a "friends" basis)...
Went over to her place (new apt she'd moved into) and she pointed out her phone jack in the wall was just hanging by the wires, one screw lost - she was worried because the cat kept playing with it. She didn't even have a screwdriver! (and didn't know any of the neighbors to ask). It was a friday night, so I said to call me 'tomorrow' and I'd stop over with a new screw and a screwdriver and fix it for her - she said she'd call me 'in the morning'.
By like 2PM saturday she hadn't called, so I went out to do some things - came home at like 8PM a *nasty* message on my machine lambasting me for 'promising to help her and not being around'. Uh, hello? You said 'in the morning'? I waited until 2PM, I have a life too? Called her back and just got nasty attitude right off the bat... didn't even bother trying to explain and offer to come over.
Give me a beer, buy a pizza, I'll replumb your kitchen sink for you ... but don't give me attitude if its not flooding your house (ie, not critical) and I'm not re-arranging my life to do it on your instant timescale. | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:21:38 AM | Well insist in your profile that there won't be any sex unless something gets fixed around the house. In fact, make is a requirement that the fellow be a qualified fixer of numerous objects that are commonly found around your home.
And ladies you might find a veterinarian who'll fix the cat or dog! BTW, I need some painting done on the old homestead!
The Eagle | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:21:58 AM | Holy cow  Not even owning a screwdriver??? That boggles the mind. I'm a DYI'er. One of the things in life I truly do enjoy. I'm not sure how I learned, why I know, or really when I realized I was able to do just about anything at home ~ it has always been a fact.  | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:37:53 AM |
Gotta love it... she gets to be Little Miss Independent 99.9% of the time, but when the pipe suddenly breaks and the place is filling with water she gets to conveniently revert to being the Damsel In Distress demanding The Prince rescue her.
How cunningly duplicitous of you. It's a great gig if you can get it, but do you really thing prince's these days are that dense?
Well of *course* she can get it! And she *will*, because she has a vagina! | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:44:37 AM | My ex-gf had been in 5 or 6 relationships before ours (and she's 31), and she told me I'm the first guy she's ever been with that could do ANYTHING to a car, including CHECKING the oil. I couldn't believe it.
...and the Nice Girl / Modern Feminist man-bashing continues...
It's not a feminist issue. I'm a guy, and I'm dumbfounded by the amount of other guys who are too stupid to do simple, everyday things without calling in a professional. I mean, at least be self sufficient in day to day life FFS. | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:46:55 AM | My personal policy is, don't point it out if you aren't prepared to help fix it. It aggrivates me to have peeps point out what's wrong. I keep things in good repair usually, but being a home owner is an ongoing challenge.However, I've been fixing my own cars & house for years. I made it a point to get some basic tools & look at stuff to figure out how it works(or doesn't). I watch guys fix things so I can know how to do it myself. A lot of it is simple logic. In goes out- don't touch live wires, etc. When I can't do something myself , I bake cupcakes & take em down to the local garage. If all else fails, I'll shell out & hire someone. What's the big deal? Just DO it, and then you'll know how.
And I never make a sandwich in return for sex. Just give it up, y'all, then leave. | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:53:01 AM | | I don't mind. I have my own tools and can fix just about everything around the house myself. But, if he happens to be good with his hands too, it's a real plus. Most guys I meet though, take my "do it myself" attitude and want to show me one up to prove he is "the man." | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 6/29/2008 11:18:52 AM | | Feels good to still be considered youn at 41. I will be when I am 81 also. There are just some things to not get worked up about. Maybe realaxin should take some advice from her own name. Or for that matter read "Don't sweat the small stuff" I did, and it did wonders for my 'REALAXIN" | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 6/29/2008 12:19:28 PM |
It's not a feminist issue. I'm a guy, and I'm dumbfounded by the amount of other guys who are too stupid to do simple, everyday things without calling in a professional. I mean, at least be self sufficient in day to day life FFS. I think this should apply to women, too.
I LOVE to tinker around with stuff.
Don't get me wrong, I have messed up my share of things, but I think I was always meant to be a blue-collar type gal.
I love working with my hands and I'd rather dig a ditch than sit at a desk anyday. (Yes, I sense the irony of sitting at a desk typing this...haha). | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 6/29/2008 12:31:25 PM | so, this means you should go over and clean the guy's house, fix his meals, etc. ???
some men are not good fixers. some women can fix things better than men. if men are in construction, they usually don't want to take work home with them. some are better fixing your internet problems. everyone has their particular specialty. some men are great cooks, etc. etc.
when you are in a committed relationship, you might take turns doing things for each other. but that does not necessarily mean the person enjoys what they are doing. they might just enjoy helping you. but in the beginning, you are supposed to be getting to know each other. if all they want is sex, then they are not interested in a relationship. there are women like that as well.
hang in. get a handyman or have some friends who can fix things, show you how to fix things. what could be worse? i will tell you: having a man (or woman) who insists s/he can fix things and ruins everything s/he touches and you cannot stop it! it is good that a person knows what s/he is good at, is willing to set boundaries as to what they will or will not do, and who does know how to communicate and have a relationship.
i have a friend whose husband is an energizer bunny. he fixes everything and does it well. when he visits me, he fixes as he walks past things. i believe he is a bit hyperactive, but really a great guy. she's always yelling at him to do it better. i told her be careful what she asks for or he may be doing it better for someone else! | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 6/29/2008 4:51:57 PM | "My ex-gf had been in 5 or 6 relationships before ours (and she's 31), and she told me I'm the first guy she's ever been with that could do ANYTHING to a car, including CHECKING the oil. I couldn't believe it."
So only men should know how to tinker with cars? women are automatically excempted from learning such skills because they are women? right... by your logic I should be shocked if a woman does not know how to cook? because I'm a man what do I need cooking skills for!
"It's not a feminist issue. I'm a guy, and I'm dumbfounded by the amount of other guys who are too stupid to do simple, everyday things without calling in a professional. I mean, at least be self sufficient in day to day life FFS."
Depends on what your view of being "self-sufficient" is I am also dumbfounded by the number of people of who still buy into all this gender role nonsense. It's even stupider if a guy attempts to fix something he does not know how to fix. lord forbid he he hires somebody else do it for him oh what a serious blow that would be to someone's fragile ego 
I'M MAN! MAN FIX STUFF!
Gimme a break.. | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 6/29/2008 7:18:33 PM | | Here's an idea, OP ~ learn to fix things yourself. Are you incapable of hanging a picture? Changing a light bulb? Replacing a washer in your faucet? Checking your oil or transmission fluid? Putting air in your tires? If you can't, hire someone who can. I don't think it's fair of you to expect dates to do your repairs for you...even smacks of neediness. Just sayin'. | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:54:30 PM | I agree 100% with this statement
some men are not good fixers. some women can fix things better than men. if men are in construction, they usually don't want to take work home with them. some are better fixing your internet problems. everyone has their particular specialty. some men are great cooks, etc. etc.
That's the exact point I was trying to make. Just because I cannot fix plumbing or electricity does not mean I'm any lesser than a man than anyone else.
'm a guy, and I'm dumbfounded by the amount of other guys who are too stupid to do simple, everyday things without calling in a professional. I mean, at least be self sufficient in day to day life FFS
I am just as dumbfounded about the amount of other guys that cannot re-program a computer or build a web site or even cook. All things that I make up for by not being Mr Handyman. I'm a handyman just not in some of the areas that are "expected" of men. Hey at least I admit my flaws instead of lying and saying "yeah I can do that" and messing it up even more and wind up making the $30 project into a $3000 project when I try and fix the plumbing and flood the entire house. Plus with me being a cashier at a hardware store I've got the I'll scratch your back you scratch mine and by giving them discounts and "who I recommend" I get the same and hook ups on cheap labor. Some times it pays to be the nice guy lol. OMG I shouldn't have said that I might be viewed as a doormat or something. You know what I don't care.
Best of luck to everyone  | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:03:10 PM | | I help myself and people have to learn to do the same, if something they want fix. I let them do it on there own or they can get someone to do it. Unless I'm married, I'm not fixing anything for my partner except the problems in the relationship that need fixing. | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:46:39 PM | | bowlerman, you've totally misunderstood. Take a compliment, dude. Anyone born after 1950s is more likely to see consumer goods as disposable products. Ex. answering machines, most men would toss it rather than tinker with it, so they can do just about anything else. AND if so many young men were at Sears, the women would be there to find them instead of POF. I am relaxed. The secret is a sunny day and a glass of wine to improve your patience with gardening , home repairs, or just painting your room. My garden looks great, as does my home, there's just not a man around to share it. | |
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| Chicks who can't or won't cook
Posted: 6/30/2008 8:24:38 AM | | I got real dependent on my ex wife because she was such a great cook, but ever since my divorce, every woman I've met is only intersted in sex and wont' or can't cook or even make a sandwich for me. What is to be expected about this in dating? I guess I am meeting the wrong women(?) and feel so stupid. | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 6/30/2008 9:22:58 AM | So, is the op saying she wants a guy who's not interested in sex (ever) but who is handy around the house?
I think she needs to focus on the size of his toolbelt, not the size of his "tool". | |
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