| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/2/2008 4:00:14 PM | OP,
Don't feel bad(first of all, your thread lasted herds longer than most) everybody has their own unique talents. What I want to know, is if I hang a few pictures, fix the closet doors,stop the toilet from running, and replace the bad tiles in the kitchen floor, will you still respect me in the morning? | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/3/2008 9:48:16 PM |
This really is offensive. It's like finding the perfect women, but dumping her because she refuses to stay home and cook or clean all day. Seriously pathetic topic.
if she cannot cook or clean, than how could she possibly be the perfect woman?  | |
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gvnage
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Joined: 6/16/2008
Msg: 207 | |
| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/3/2008 9:57:40 PM | | I know what you mean. Once you've had a fix it guy around the house, you definitely feel the loss of that once a guy comes along who isnt even interested in noticing ways he could be helpful, whether its helping w/ a bag of groceries or tuning up your car at the extreme other end of the spectrum. Since my past relationship w/ Mr. Fixit, that is one of the things I realize I truly appreciate about men-their interest in 'solving problems' , mechanical or otherwise. That helpfulness does have a way of moving the heart ha. | |
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claral
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Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 208 | |
| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/4/2008 4:21:54 AM | What a pain men are such wimps now. Cant fix a leaking tap,hang a pic,fix the door or anything.Sit there all day by a pc and think they are men.
please.
I guess im an old fashioned girl i like my men to display something that resembles bveing a man
You know like they like a girl to be like a girl simple | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/4/2008 5:21:43 AM |
Cant fix a leaking tap,hang a pic,fix the door or anything.Sit there all day by a pc and think they are men.
Hey! I can fix a computer. And they often cost a lot more to fix than a leaking tap, so one could argue that the men of today are more cost-effective than previous generations?  | |
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claral
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Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 210 | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/4/2008 6:53:55 AM | | Nobody is saying men can't fix those things. I do that stuff all the time. If a woman won't date someone because he won't be her constant slave around the house, however, that makes her the pathetic one. It also makes her a user which no man in his right mind would want to date. Funny how it's offensive to suggest that a woman can't take care of anything a man can but yet the man bashing has started already at the mere suggestion that women should be able to do this stuff as well. Women really need to make up their minds where they stand. | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:09:34 AM |
What a pain men are such wimps now. Cant fix a leaking tap,hang a pic,fix the door or anything.Sit there all day by a pc and think they are men.
please.
I guess im an old fashioned girl i like my men to display something that resembles bveing a man
The problem with this sort of thinking is it places a value on what people DO rather than who they ARE.
Sort of like the difference between a Human Doing and a Human Being.
If you're not careful it shifts relationships to "what can I get out of this?" or "what can you do for me?"
A person's worth as a human being is more than what they can do.
sheesh, we have really turned relationships into commodities these days.
If you think about it, this attitude is as offensive as "the only thing women are good for is to fvck"
Think about it. | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:18:58 AM | | I'm surprised some people find this offensive or feel it is a recent trend to treat a mans skills as a commodity. Shouldn't a guys skills in being self reliant something a woman should covet? These are traditional values, part of being a well rounded man. To me the thought of a couple having the skills to do everything around the home as a team rather than hire someone for this or that is a beautiful thing and I for one admire a woman who can compliment my own skills with her own. The more money you can save, the less you need to make and the more time you have to spend with each other or just enjoying life. | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:47:55 AM | You're not a real woman unless you know how to darn socks. You're not a real man unless you know how to install a toilet.
^^ It defines and judges who people are by a skill set.
I'm all for valuing and appreciating people for the skills and attributes they bring... what I find offensive are the value judgments.
"Men are such wimps" - because they don't have a specific skill? That's it?
"They think they are men" - a man's integrity, character no longer defines who he is... just whether he can pick up a hammer?
It isn't too far out of line with "I will love you for as long as you can do this for me" | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:02:14 AM | claral,
I've been taught from 17 to now to fix things such as doing an oil change, asembling things together, connecting tables and chairs, fixing the washing machine ( and that's not easy ). My Mom would just make my friends and I fix things when we were younger and it got to a point where we got fed up of fixing and doing those projects and just moved on because my Mom was taking advantage of that. And people don't like to be taken advantage of. | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:03:06 AM | | Margo, that is part of a mans character. Having these skills translates into many qualities, if he can fix your car and the house, hes used to relying on himself and in my mind will be more able to fix relationship issues or anything else. Not to mention the private benefits to a woman of a guy who is good with his hands and takes pride in it. You talk like these are new values. These are values that have been around since the dawn of monogamy, hopefully they are returning after way too long an absence. Is it so wrong to judge someone by a set of skills? What would you prefer...to be judges on looks, paycheck, IQ? They are not only valuable skills but say alot about the man...he's willing to learn, he has a work ethic, he takes care of things he cares about. | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:06:34 AM |
They are not only valuable skills but say alot about the man...he's willing to learn, he has a work ethic, he takes care of things he cares about.
But I can't help but feel that some women seem to have the view that it's these specific skills that designate those things. A man may not be able to fix things around the house, but he may have several other skills. Simply because those skills aren't traditional "male" skills or of any particular use to the woman in every day life, does that make them any less indicative of his willingness to learn, work ethic etc.? | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:47:21 AM | Optimist, we have a different definition of character. I hope you are not hearing that I am devaluing traditional skills - I am saying that is not the "measure of a man" that I personally use.
I might say someone is skilled at fixing cars (and very much appreciate that in my partner) but that in and of itself doesn’t say they have a good character.
Character, to me, would be :
* Trustworthiness: Honesty, integrity, reliability
* Respect: tolerance of differences, considerate of others’ feelings, deal peacefully with disagreements.
* Responsibility: Self-control, Self-discipline, being accountable for ones actions, doing ones best.
* Fairness: Don’t take advantage of others, share, listen to try to understand, don’t blame.
* Caring: Be kind and compassionate, express gratitude and appreciation, Help people in times of need.
* Citizenship: Be involved in making your world a better place, Be informed and aware.
A man of good character would be a Real Man to me regardless of whatever skills he had.
A woman of good character wouldn't shame someone's manliness based on their skill with a hammer. | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:12:55 AM | | I have dated women who want you to be "the fix it man" for them. After fixing so many different household items, you start to feel used when they do not help out and start planning the task for the next visit. I have had this happen to me twice. Lesson learned I do not offer or admit to having any knowledge on how to fix anything anymore! I have never asked any women that I have dated to sew a button on my shirt or fix a zipper, or hang a picture for me or help me wallpaper and paint my rooms. One of the women I metioned above refused to date me anymore after I became too busy to fix all the stuff around her house--a pattern which I'm certain she uses to this day. WHen I woman starts a sentence:"DO you know anything about fixing......." My answer is: Sorry not to my knowledge. | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:31:47 AM | | Thats because those of us "fixit kind of guys" are so busy fixing everything in not only our house, but all our family and friends houses, we never get around to dating . I will of course help with small things for all these people and girlfriends when and if i have one, but if someone wants to live in a McMansion (i sold mine and that lousy 30K gallon pool too and bought a nice little cottage...with a 3 car garage and an extra storage for all the tools) they just have to realise how much it takes to maintain one and have the bookoo $$$$ to pay a contractor to do major repairs ... . I have always been have ladder and tool box for all the old people and single/divorced/widowed women around me, but i won't do major projects or major repairs for people who want to live in absurdly too big houses!!! | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:46:05 AM | you hit it right on the head,
if i wanna fix something I will offer on my time and convienience,
however i will bring a load of laundry and see how she feels about playing wife for a few hours, while i play husband  | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:23:05 AM | I don't believe in asking guys to fix things around the house.. I did ask a date once to unscrew the light in the oven because I could not get it.. lol I don't think he minded.. I just thanked him for helping me..
I have a story about my ex husband.. just burned me up what he did to me.. and that is my main complaint is SO men.. whether husbands, live in lovers, or boyfriends who won't help you when they have the ability to help.
We had a six foot tall wooden fence around our backyard and a big ole white german shepherd dog. We had a double gate in the middle of the back fence that had hinges that rusted. The gate was not that heavy but it was hard for me to manage to fix.. so I kept on asking me husband at the time to help me because the dog would get out every day and I had to chase the dog all over the neighborhood.
SIX MONTHS went by.. I asked every weekend.. I even asked permission to hire someone to fix the gate.. I was told "quit naggin me.. I'll do it"".. huh??? quit nagging??? after six months and it isn't done???
So the next week I went to the building supply and got new gate hinges.. I managed to put them on myself and rehang the gate.. it was difficult but I managed to do it.. and you know what my husband did??? Instead of saying "gee thanks.. you did a great job" he got mad at me and didn't speak to me the rest of the weekend because I embarssed him.. you see he claimed I made him look bad to the neighbors because I fixed the gate myself.. I don't recall any neighbors seeing me do it.. but anyway...
I hate that!!! | |
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:24:26 AM | Some of this is ridiculous.
What a pain men are such wimps now. Cant fix a leaking tap,hang a pic,fix the door or anything.Sit there all day by a pc and think they are men. please.
So I'm a wimp because I'm not Mr. Hardware or Mr. Mechanic. Whatever, Um I'm a better person than to just insult back. So I won't, but I will say this is a ridiculous quote. What if the guy has a office job and he gets paid to "sit in front of a pc." So he's a wimp because he makes money at what he is good at. I mean come on. Would you want a professional cook come over and re-build your engine. I can understand some of the "simple" stuff. O btw if it is so simple why don't more women learn and help us do it. WOW
Nobody is saying men can't fix those things. I do that stuff all the time. If a woman won't date someone because he won't be her constant slave around the house, however, that makes her the pathetic one. It also makes her a user which no man in his right mind would want to date. Funny how it's offensive to suggest that a woman can't take care of anything a man can but yet the man bashing has started already at the mere suggestion that women should be able to do this stuff as well. Women really need to make up their minds where they stand.
I agree to a extent. I mean I just don't get the men doing "men" things like its our job or something. All people have different skills. Nobody is the same. Every one of us are good at a lot of things and from time to time great at it. I mean I'm not going to spend my entire day off "fixing" everything around the house while she sits on the couch watching soap operas or Maury. Even fix the car in the hot sun outside, there are people in this world that don't have a garage, while she does the same. Not that I can fix a car, just a point. I'm not talking about a oil change but re-building a engine for example takes special tools and equipment, also the know how to do it and use those tools.
Let me say something else about cars, for an example. I've seen this a 100 of not 1000's of time. "Shade-tree" Mechanics "guessing" what the problem would be with the car. Buying that part then oh well its not it. Then buying 5 more parts not being it. Then finally gets mad enough to send it to a pro and they tell us its a $5 wire, that could have taken 5 minutes. So the "shade tree" mechanic wasted all that time and money over a $5 wire. Versus taking it to the pro the 1st time. Which guy would be smarter the "shade tree" mechanic or the guy who took it to a pro.
The same example could be used with home improvement stuff.
But I can't help but feel that some women seem to have the view that it's these specific skills that designate those things. A man may not be able to fix things around the house, but he may have several other skills. Simply because those skills aren't traditional "male" skills or of any particular use to the woman in every day life, does that make them any less indicative of his willingness to learn, work ethic etc.?
Very good point. Just because it isn't traditional "male" skills does not make me any less of a man than anyone else.
Best of luck to everyone
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| Guys who can't or won't fix things around the house
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:45:16 AM | | sounds alot like my ex hubby, he couldn't change a tire and I had to put my daughter's crib together by myself 8 months pregnant. growing up my dad was a mechanic so I assumed all guys knew how to put things together and fix things. | |
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