| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/20/2008 2:26:49 PM | | This question is a comeback question to all of the men who keep asking the eternal question, "why do women overlook good men?" and so on and so forth. I have heard it a million times before and I have sympathized many times providing the best advice I could give. However, I would like to know "why is it that men overlook good women?" Because remember, the question {and the situation} goes both ways. I know "good men" who also have issues in their closet and have a hard time holding on to a good woman due to their own issues. So let's talk about that. | |
|
| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/20/2008 2:37:42 PM | Lust!!! No big ole cosmic reason.
Lust is nothing more than deception of what they THINK they want. Yet they complain months to years after that they keep getting the wrong kind of girls. HE picked the girl lol!
Learn a way to get the man to look past the lust and see you for yourself.
Thats the answer to your question. Yes, it is always simple when you know all the real answers:D I am wise beyond my years!!! | |
|
| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/20/2008 2:51:58 PM | | My guess is that attraction plays a big part, regardless of whether someone is good/nice or not. I like the fact you use the word 'overlook' because thats exactly what takes place when attraction happens between two people. If there isn't any attraction going on,people get overlooked. An old lady friend had to dump a guy who was in her words 'perfect' but being to this reason, they were incompatible. So whats going on there? Certainly, women do not like men who are overly nice, and these are possibly the 'good men'. | |
|
| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/20/2008 2:52:08 PM | | There seem to be very many reasons. First you must look at the fact that there are probably 7 men to every woman on any dating site. A number of these I would think to be 20% are player types. There would seem to be more of these because some learn to blast emails. So 1 player can contact 150 women multiple times maybe 5 or more times a week. While you may ignore them if 10 players do it that's 50 emails to deal with. Next women are better at dealing with the end of a relationship. They will stop mourn the passing and reflect on what went wrong, men will try and stuff their emotions and any baggage they might take away making them not ready to move on. Still they want a woman in their lives so they start dating right away and most will fail miserably. In addition some have deep financial issues from the divorce and find themselves not solvent to be in a relationship. While these are not all the reasons it will constitute a larger number of men when viewed in the ratio of 7 to 1. So early contact here may make a good woman feel there is nothing of quality out there. Men will contact her and then disappear when their emotions or financial hardships hit home. Let's not forget many of us both men and women bring demands to second and third relationships, things that they believe or were missing in earlier couplings. These bring a level of stress to the new budding romance. In the end though, there are many good men looking for good women and therein lies some of the issue. 1. finding each other with that many other suitors chasing that woman, 2. How many come here(and I'm sure there is larger number than you would think) meet a man or woman, start a relationship and simply leave without a word. I suppose you could boil it down to attraction, but I believe there are multiple partners out there for everyone. It is the bumps in the road that make it hard to navigate. Most of what I said can be seen in the daily posts in these forums. Just my 2 cents, Bob | |
|
| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/20/2008 3:07:05 PM |
This question is a comeback question to all of the men who keep asking the eternal question, "why do women overlook good men?" and so on and so forth. I have heard it a million times before and I have sympathized many times providing the best advice I could give. However, I would like to know "why is it that men overlook good women?" Because remember, the question {and the situation} goes both ways. I know "good men" who also have issues in their closet and have a hard time holding on to a good woman due to their own issues. So let's talk about that.
This question is a comeback question to all of the women who keep asking the eternal question, "why do men overlook good women?" and so on and so forth. I have heard it a million times before and I have sympathized many times providing the best advice I could give. However, I would like to know "why is it that women overlook good men?" Because remember, the question {and the situation} goes both ways. I know "good women" who also have issues in their closet and have a hard time holding on to a good man due to their own issues. So let's talk about that.
Notice the difference? Notice the similarity? | |
|
| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/20/2008 6:14:48 PM | Hey there,
It's me, BlaqButterFly. Just wanted to thank everyone for taking the time to post a comment. I enjoy reading what everyone has to say b/c I find it to be very interesting and intellectually stimulating. Keep em' coming!  | |
|
| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 10:02:25 AM | maybe they think that a good looking girl is already taken??....i put that down to why i dont get any mail,they all think im outta there league. | |
|
| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 10:38:55 AM | I think that you would need to define the terms ‘Good Man’ and ‘Good Woman’.
Most people have an Idea, but explain it poorly. I also believe that unless one can look within and know that they are good or bad, then it is pointless to even attempt identification with others as being good or bad.
From what I can see, a lot of people are muddled with wants and esteem. This being the case, how is it possible to really identify with another person? Often I notice that many are not really capable of identifying with others, so they recede into an excitement and fun vs. mellow and boredom state of mind. That is where fun is good, bored is bad, and there is not much of an in-between. That is not a mentality that I really care for.
Overall we each make our choices. I am the man that I have chosen to be. I may not be flashy or overburdened with toys, but that is the way that I like it. I consider myself a good man and I am looking for a good woman. I, obviously, have not found a woman that I am compatible with, but I know that there is a woman out there, one that I want and who also wants me. Two paths that will merge into one. | |
|
| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 6:29:57 PM | | It depends on how you look. Men are visual beings FIRST... Then we look at other tin gs. When are you going to get it??? | |
|
| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 6:43:54 PM | I wish I knew the answer to why that is. I don't know why good people overlook other good people. It seems that women are the same way.
I have so much to give to someone, and I just have to keep telling myself that someday someone's going to realize that and want me for real. Until then, I just have to be patient and keep the faith that one day we'll find each other. | |
|
| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 6:44:23 PM | | Very simple; most people are more into the looks than anything else. I see thousands who want only the best looking person; men or women; thats why the broken hearts section is full with break ups. | |
|
| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 6:47:22 PM | The problem with women is they imagine a relationship, and to have one they need a man, but it's not a man they want; they want a relationship. There are men by the zillions right and left, eager to love women. Women do not want men, they want relationships.
The man says to the woman, I want you! And the woman replies, go away you pig, I am looking for a relationship! | |
|
| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 6:52:36 PM | First, who is to describe what a good woman is? .............What do you mean by "good woman" moral values, religious values, or what "good" thing about her do you mean?
What I would consider a good woman is one that is good for me and good to me.
She may be not be considered a good woman to the some or many.... But for me...she is a good woman.
I am sure there are women that would not consider me a "good man". I may not match their values, interests, desires, and wants and needs. I may not be either the age or physical specimen a woman considers a good man. And that's OK. Because I know I am a good man....based on my own set of values, ethics, honor and morals.
I would bet Clyde thought Bonny was a good woman....to each their own. | |
|
| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 7:17:35 PM | Mr. Internet..........its not the weekend.please stand away from the
We all know there are all kinds of relationships. lol
OP Most men do want a good woman and visa versa. Not everyone is suited for you or me. They dont necessarily overlook someone because their good. Their are so many other components to a good relationship. Compatibility in interest for example. I wouldnt be interested in someone who had the desire to skydive or climb Mt. Everest. That doesnt mean I wouldnt think him a good man. | |
|
| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 7:36:17 PM | It is really simple. We are to the point that every one belives that thoes that sound to good to be true probably are. to many times we are hurt and the next one we meet clicks a switch in the back of the head. That says what are they up to . We have seen to many people hurt by people or been hurt ourselves. and the cant trust issue is there most are'nt bad but get hurt bad enough and all of a sudden all the oppsit sex are bad. you know all guys are dogs or all women are golddiggers and other things we call each other. After you have been hurt you trust no one for a while then you still have it there what are they up to . The bad thing is that person might not be bad but because of the past we still don't trust. I say give them the bennefit of the dought that might be the One for you. Its like food you never know till you try it if you get a fresh fruit or a bad apple. GOOD LUCK | |
|
| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 7:46:02 PM |
It depends on how you look. Men are visual beings FIRST
And women aren't? Both men and women are equally visual, we all tend to look a the person, most people that is, and then decide whether or not they want to try to get to know the person, kinda sad too, might be passing up a chance to get to know a great person if they don't measure up in the looks department. I tend to be willing to get to know nearly anyone as long as they are willing to allow me to do so. | |
|
| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 7:58:05 PM | I don't think ALL men overlook good women. That said, I do believe that it has something to do with them and not the other party.
Perhaps its a self-esteem issue where they don't think highly of themselves and to have someone reaffirm same keeps them coming back for more abuse.
I say get off the emotional roller coaster, if a man cannot appreciate a good woman entering his life then and there, than why throw your pearls at swines? | |
|
| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 8:17:01 PM | | I do not really think that great guys who are ready for dating do overlook good women. I would say relatively few indeed have very major issues that will block them from persuing a good woman. Of course there have to be a physical spark. | |
|
| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 8:27:19 PM | | Would someone please define "good woman"? I have dated many different kinds of women, and many believe themselves to be 'good" when in fact they are all the same. They are all pretty much control freaks, they are always right, and it is always the man's fault. Some are just nicer about it than others. I would love to be proven wrong, but I'm not going to hold my breath. | |
|
| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 8:27:40 PM | Women are complex being driven by their bodies desires and controlled by what society says is proper
they know that the good guy will not push them into making love and when he does - - he will not push her to limits she has not achieved before
While the other guy - lets it be known - - if you want to be with me - - here are the rules - - instead of her setting the rules - - - and when they make love - - he pushes her to new and different limits and makes it more exciting and consuming - - -
So it becomes a balancing act of wants and desires - - - that different women handle in different ways - - - - -
She is not simply after a good home, a provider but wants the passions and excitements that can occur - - - so complex aspects that in many cases she does not even understand.
Jim P. | |
|
| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 8:28:37 PM | | Because they're so few and far between that we don't know what we're looking at when we see one. | |
|
| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 8:29:47 PM | | I thought this section had some really good comments in their posts, but I have to agree with mthomjmark. I also think that too many woman & men are too much into looks. I think this mind set is a mistake, because there are many ways to be attractive to someone, such as you might be attracted to their personality. I know some men who have contacted me and I can tell by talking with them that they didn't bother to read my profile, only looked and commented on my picture. Still other men have told me certain things about my profile, showing me that they were interested in my personality and not just hung up on looks. This is the man that I'm searching for! I have known many men & woman that I thought was good-looking, only to discover they left a lot to be desired in having anything likeable or good about their personality-then they were no longer good-looking to me. In my opinion, some people might be missing out on true happiness because they only look at the outside and not is whats on the inside. Just my two cents! | |
|
| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 8:36:14 PM | | well mabey for you, your the pretty boy type!!! youll be stuck like that for ever untill you age and your a lonely solider | |
|
| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/22/2008 10:54:57 AM | Great post! I would have to agree that its the LOOKS...
Some guys will put up with a girls crap cause she is "HOT" and that makes us "average" looking women "expendable" IMHO. But its not just the men its us women too (raises hand) GUILTY! I too have been known and prown to go for the "dark hair light eyes, Gerard Butler smile" . I think not such a big deal to be into looks but we all must admit that ultimatley (msp) we want the on that makes us weak in the knee and give us butterflies in the stomach and listens to us go on and on about our bad hair day..lol
So in the end the "good heart" or the "good man" or 'woman" prevails....Remember:
Tommy Lee-got tired of Pam Anderson
Ben Affleck-got tired of JLO
So looks don't always yield to what the heart wants...
Tori | |
|
| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/22/2008 12:09:25 PM | The easy answer is that a lot of "nice" girls are the ones who had to be nice growing up to get by. Hot girls and guys are inherently handed things and expect people to bow to their whims, and that continues later in life. Those are the profiles here with hot pictures and barely any text. Why bother writing about your hopes and dreams when the girl is already getting 100s of emails in a given day?
So I think when you're describing "good girls" you are probably describing a subset who grew up with average looks and learned how to communicate and compromise with people.
I think your point makes a lot of sense, but at the same time this is online dating. People post pictures for a reason, and guys like to be with the most attractive girl they possibly can. I'm not sure how much of that is biological, how much is cultural, and how much is personal preference.
I will say I've ended up dating people who I didn't think were physically attractive initially because after getting to know them I saw how awesome they were. It's just hard to get to know someone online the same way when the initial reaction to the picture is "pass" | |
|
Home
login 
