| the nice guy.
Posted: 5/22/2008 9:09:53 AM | so you always hear women/girls say, "where are all the nice guys? and why cant i ever find a nice guy?" why? that guy that may not have been the first to approach you, the guy that more than likely wasnt drunk off his +++ at the bar you were at, the guy that you went and cried to when your bf cheated on you, the guy you always made feel completely invisible unless you needed something from him.
so my point is here im a good guy, with a great job. own two homes, honest and loving. yet because im not into the bar scene or sleeping around, i cant find a decent person that has morals and leads a respectable life. always findingmy self in the friend postion thats a shoulder to cry on.
so ladies maybe think twice next time the guy with all the right words and moves approaches you. think back to the guy thats always there for you when things go wrong. | |
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| the nice guy.
Posted: 5/24/2008 7:05:42 AM | | so i guess no women want to comment on this topick? put in their two cents on why this is? | |
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| the nice guy.
Posted: 6/14/2008 2:10:02 PM | Its kind of hard to respond as there is no question lol.. Your making a statement on how you feel, but what I will say is not everyone likes the club scene, maybe start a new hobby etc and find people likeminded | |
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| the nice guy.
Posted: 6/17/2008 4:04:04 PM | | Maybe the statement made by yourself would get more responses if you phrased it like a qustion, like the previous lady said? Just a thought but it sounds to us that some kind of pain instead of an honest question is being expressed. As far as wanting a nice guy most ladies that are Mature enough to reliaze what they want will probably not be looking for Mr Right in a local bar or dance club, but they would consider a Mr Right Now from one of those places. So rethink what was said in the original post and try to be more positive instead of bragging about what you own. -nat. | |
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| the nice guy.
Posted: 7/19/2008 2:38:58 PM | honestly...I'm not sure what to say about this topic considering I've been one of those girls that likes the ***holes..and cries on nice guys shoulder...but like one of the other ladies said... it comes with maturity... after i seperated from my husband I realized the ***holes dont change..and i think thats what most females think about..you always hope the badboy will change for you...girls are naturally attracted to confidence and badasses.. its the "hard to get" factor we like...I dont know if im necessarily the best person to give advice..considering my situation...
I met my husband in february....we got married in april...and now we are seperated...i knew from the beginning that he had girls all over him all the time and he played his game well..i did too but i gave it up when we got married i guess i figured he would too...anyways...
not all woman are the same...timing is everything...and even though the girl might not want you now..she will most likely later.... | |
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| the nice guy.
Posted: 8/11/2008 5:56:15 AM | Hey nice guy,
Same thing happens to we women. Its a mystery. Here's what I say to nice guys who feel the way you do. We would all love to meet the nice guys. But its the bad boys/loosers who tend to have the guts to walk right up to a woman and ask them out. Maybe because they have nothing to loose and they ask 100 and don't care which one they get because they are going to use them anyway. Who knows. But, just know, we are all wondering about men the same thing your wondering about women. And I will gladly accept a nice guy in my life as soon as he has the guts to approach me. | |
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| the nice guy.
Posted: 8/19/2008 6:36:39 AM | | I think a lot of responces of lack of responces in dating sites has to do with looks. | |
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| the nice guy.
Posted: 8/24/2008 9:14:38 PM | It's in the nature of the person. ***holes will always be ***holes, nice guys will always be nice guys. I have tried to be the bad guy. It's doesn't work no matter how much of a jerk I tried to be, I couldn't do it. I accept my lot in life, and hopefully along my path there will be a woman that will find me attractive in my own right and want to share our lives together. I don't look like Brad Pitt, I don't have money pouring out my bank account, but what I can offer a relationship is loyalty, honesty, respect, caring and faithfulness like most nice guys. As a nice guy the biggest flaw is that we respect people too much to use them and end up being used in most cases ourselves.
This goes both ways though, as I am usually attracted to the "bad girl." I know it, and realize it. However, it is again in my nature. The ones that are trouble find me and use me to get what they want, whether it be another man, money, new home, etc. Heck I ended up in California for a year because of a woman, I didn't want to be there, Idaho is my home.
I don't know the answer to it all, but maybe if the women keep an eye out for the nice guy, and us nice guys keep an eye out for the nice gal, we'd all be happier. | |
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| the nice guy.
Posted: 9/2/2008 12:00:30 PM | Sometimes when we come across a pattern of behavior that it is being repeated over and over by others in our lives, we need to examine ourselves to figure out why we keep being attracting that same kind of person over and over.
Also, do you let these women know you are attracted to them and interested in them? It has been my experience that the "nice guy" friends who let me cry on their shoulder never gave me any indication they were intrested in me. I remember knowing a guy who, even though he carried a torch for me and I knew it, he was so needy and insecure that it turned me off.
It's been said in here that bad boys are so successful because they have the bravado to approach 100 women knowing that they only need to score with one that night. They have the attitude that if one woman doesn't respond to their advances they cut their losses and approach someone else. Because the law of averages ensure that eventually someone will accept their odious behavior and hook up with them they have nothing to lose. Because they have nothing to lose, the potential for rejection isn't a factor for them. That comes across as confidence and that is irresistible to women. | |
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| the nice guy.
Posted: 11/1/2008 9:09:02 PM | I think there are a lot of nice guys out there.
You are right they are not the men who are drunk off their *** in the bar.
Be patient you will find a nice lady out there. | |
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| the nice guy.
Posted: 11/9/2008 1:06:04 PM | I found this interesting that there is so many other males that feel the same way. And I just wanted to put my 2 cents in and agree that the nice guys are the more responsible and perhaps less aggressive. But it also appears that a lot of women like the bad boy personality.
I just wanted to emphasize that there are a lot of good guys out there we are just content and sure of ourselves. and we don't hang out at the bar. | |
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| the nice guy.
Posted: 11/27/2008 4:57:44 AM | | You can be a nice guy but don't let anyone walk all over you. | |
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| the nice guy.
Posted: 12/1/2008 5:18:40 PM | You really need to get a hobby. Join some kind of civic group or volunteer organization. Most of these groups are consisting of mostly wealthier married gals. After a coupe projects they will start thinking you love them all cause you're doing something they enjoy and are spending time with them. They will tell you stuff they don't even tell their husbands, lots of it about them actually, then they will fall in love.
It's then your move to decide to bag the married chick, or tell her you're not interested. You can't even begin to imagine how frequently that happens even to a cave man like myself. | |
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| the nice guy.
Posted: 12/10/2008 6:02:41 PM | Oh yeah, just what every nice guy (or woman) wants- a married person who is willing to fall in love while still married - uh, the term adultery comes to mind as well as a few others that don't fit into the category of characteristics "nice" people want in a so...but there are lots of hobbies/organizations/singles groups where you can meet other people who are Not married and looking  | |
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| the nice guy.
Posted: 6/11/2009 8:37:46 AM | | Here is my veiw on this nice guy thing, I just watched two female friends go back to ***holes, and here is what I think. I can be totally off the wall here, feel free to let me know. I compare it to make up sex, no matter how good " normal" sex is with your partner, after a good fight you just made up and the emotions are high, so making love is so intense. I think it's that intensity the women (and men if you flip the equation) are after. Look at it this way although being loved by someone that loves you all the time is nice the same exact showing of love will be more intense if it came from someone that usually doesn't do that kind of thing, or actually usually is abusive. | |
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| the nice guy.
Posted: 6/14/2009 8:08:56 PM | | Not all women go for the "bad boys." At least not for a long term relationship. They are like Disneyland. Nice to look at (perhaps,) and even fun to day dream or fantasize about, but as far as a long term relationship goes, give me a nice guy. I won't settle for anything less. ;-) | |
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| the nice guy.
Posted: 6/15/2009 4:34:41 PM | It's too stressful to pick a 'bad boy'; constantly on edge in the effort to avoid rocking the boat and risk losing his attention.
I'd much rather spend my time with a sweet, kind-hearted and sensible guy who is already my good friend, than jeopardize my dignity with a 'bad boy'. The stuff Harlequin novels spew is just wrong.
Not every woman seeks the built, cavalier and Hollywood-esque, Superman-jawed smooth operator. B-O-R-I-N-G ...
The problem many 'nice guys' seem to have is that they *appear* to accept their woman friend on her terms, but there's an "I'm hoping for more" vibe that she might be picking up on, warning her to keep some distance.
Also, if she's not honest with him about her feelings, he could waste years on a woman who's never going to want him. The 'bad boy' would never hold out for that because there's always another woman who will fall for him, and he knows it.
It doesn't have to be so complicated! | |
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