| What do you do??
Posted: 5/22/2008 9:17:26 AM | | If you know that someone is a brutal batterer, compulsive gambler, and convicted of felony theft, do you tell, or keep your mouth shut? If that person is also manic depressive/paranoid schizphrenic, and a con-man do you tell, or do you keep your mouth shut??? I'd just like to know what you think. Thanks! This is for a discussion and what your thoughts are ONLY. Not intended to bash or defame anyone. | |
|
| |
| What do you do??
Posted: 5/22/2008 9:28:37 AM | | Do you call the police and file charges for domestic violence? Or do you remain scared of what he might do. | |
|
| What do you do??
Posted: 5/22/2008 9:32:41 AM | | Unless you are the person involved in the domestic abuse, you cannot file anything with the police. Doesn't matter if you are a family member or friend, the person being abused has to be the one who steps up and makes the complaint. If I were you, I would try and convince this person to seek help in some fashion before it gets worse. | |
|
| What do you do??
Posted: 5/22/2008 9:36:39 AM | | I myself was in her shoes. And I have talked to her over and over and she still isn't to that point. I don't know what to do except be there for her and it really is scarey wondering what will happen next. | |
|
| What do you do??
Posted: 5/22/2008 9:39:24 AM | | Unfortunately, you are doing all you really can then. I sympathize because when I worked for the police, I would see this type of thing over and over again. I even had an aunt who was in a similar spot and no amount of talking me or anyone else did could convince her to leave the guy. We all breathed a sigh of relief when she told us that he had left her. | |
|
| What do you do??
Posted: 5/22/2008 9:44:52 AM | ummmm well in g.b you can tell the police about a d.v. incident which is occurring...our policies on d.v is tightening up with it being seen as a criminal offence and longer term imprisonment...yes of course if i heard a d.v. incident i would phone the police as its an act of inhumanity if i didnt...my opinion.... | |
|
| What do you do??
Posted: 5/22/2008 9:49:04 AM | | Well, if you know someone who is considering dating this person who is all these things, then I think it is your moral obligation to let them know. I don't think you would ever want to put someone in harms way. JMHO | |
|
| What do you do??
Posted: 5/22/2008 9:53:38 AM | have been on both sides of this one
got myself out of it after 16+ years of marriage.......but had to get to that point on my own.......i had confided in only 2 very close friends, and they were supportive, but making the abused person seek help is as fruitless as getting an addict to stop using whatever their poison is is BEFORE THEY ARE READY
about 1 year after getting out of my own situation, someone who worked with me was in a similar predicament........i explained the process of getting a restraining order, gave her resources of where to go with her kids, etc. She initially took the advice but ended up back with the S.O.B. Had to look at it is though I had done all I could. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink, as they say.
Do some homework, provide her info and your support.......absolutely. But ultimately until SHE is ready, nobody can do this for her unless YOU are witnessing something as it happens.
I wish the best for you and your friend.......just stick by her..... | |
|
| What do you do??
Posted: 5/22/2008 11:16:15 AM |
... convicted of felony theft ...
Someone already knows. So as " Phoenix!" asked, "Tell who?" | |
|
| What do you do??
Posted: 5/22/2008 11:23:01 AM | | I would stay as far away from this person as possible...life is not for judging..but if you know they have gone down their own road to hell....don't follow them. | |
|
| What do you do??
Posted: 5/22/2008 11:42:21 AM | | Well if you know the person is getting into somethign wiht somone like that, the only thing it comes down to is weather or not they will actually be happy with this person or abused. In all honesty, this is just a matter of allowing somone to have the relationship from hell or keeping somone out of potential harm's way. | |
|
| What do you do??
Posted: 5/22/2008 11:51:59 AM | Would depend.
If a woman I knew was about to enter a relationship with a abusive man, I would suggest she reconsider, however this usually proves futile as they are already aware and just odn't care.
If he were a convicted murderer, depending on whose life he was entering. If they murdered once, they might do it again and no one likes a rat, so I might keep my mouth shut unless I loved the person.
Manic depressive, is not for anyone to diagnose, unless your that indivudals doctor...even when someone says they are...if they are self diagnosed (which I bet most people are) it's not really...acceptble. | |
|
| What do you do??
Posted: 5/22/2008 12:01:03 PM | | I was just trying to give the correct info. all compiled. So the situation could be evaluated fairly. And this person was "diagnosed" to have the mental problems. I am just so concerned for my friend and I want her to be safe. She is a very good person. I thought maybe if I bounced it off others, I might find a way to help her better that I am. | |
|
| What do you do??
Posted: 5/22/2008 12:03:08 PM | | you tell your friend what you know without judgment and it's up to them to use that information as they will. | |
|
| What do you do??
Posted: 5/22/2008 12:37:16 PM | | Give her the factual information without any dramatics and let her assess it and make her own decision. To do nothing would be lax. To over emphasize is unfair. Just give her the facts as you know them, with any evidence to back it up and tell her if she needs to dicuss it you will be there. Anything he has been convicted of is a matter of public record. Just direct her through the proper channels in finding this information. From that point the decision on whether to see him or not is hers. | |
|
| What do you do??
Posted: 5/22/2008 12:52:31 PM | And your friend hasn't picked up on any of the hints, that this guy is bad news?
As the other posters said, tell your friend, without any drama or emotion, the facts. She will thus be made aware...what she intends to do with that awareness, is fully her responsibility. But, some people like the excitement too much to notice the warning bells ringing.
You can't make other people think. You can only give them the information they need. then step back, and wait for when they are ready. | |
|
| What do you do??
Posted: 5/22/2008 2:43:27 PM |
As the other posters said, tell your friend, without any drama or emotion, the facts. She will thus be made aware...what she intends to do with that awareness, is fully her responsibility.
I agree. if one has knowledge as the OP described that presents a potential risk to a friend, it's the right thing to do to share that information. Whether the friend will listen or not is that friend's accountability. But at least the friend could never claim no one tried to warn her (or him as the case may be). | |
|
| What do you do??
Posted: 5/22/2008 3:04:58 PM |
This is for a discussion and what your thoughts are ONLY.
My thought are this person will probably end up back in jail. Whats next? Murderer? | |
|
| What do you do??
Posted: 5/22/2008 3:23:22 PM | You say -
If you know that someone is a brutal batterer, compulsive gambler, and convicted of felony theft, do you tell, or keep your mouth shut? If that person is also manic depressive/paranoid schizphrenic, and a con-man do you tell, or do you keep your mouth shut??? I'd just like to know what you think.
I think how in the world do you know all of this about this person??? And if these 'facts' (as some posters here are calling it) are true, how could you not tell her? But then, if they are true, how in the world could she have gotten involved with him?!
I am dumbfounded with the obviousness of this post.
The guy is seriously seriously bad news. Get her the f...k away from him any way you possibly can.....or I'd be afraid you might not have your friend much longer....and she should be afraid too. Again, what in the world is she thinking?! | |
|
| What do you do??
Posted: 5/22/2008 4:02:02 PM | Who is he hurting?
Who are you going to tell?
Do you have the absolute proven fact or will it be your word against his? | |
|
| What do you do??
Posted: 5/22/2008 4:49:07 PM | | Until she gets tired of being his punching bag she will not leave. My BF is the same way, her husband is a complete a-hole and she just whines about it. After 7 years of listening to her scared, pathetic whimpering and midnight phone calls I am beginning to believe that she enjoys being a victim. She has her own money, I've offered her a place to stay yet she continues to live the life. Her daughter is going to be one messed up kid if she does not get her out of that house. | |
|
| What do you do??
Posted: 5/22/2008 4:50:07 PM | | If your the ex... I would keep your mouth shut and move on in your life. | |
|
| What do you do??
Posted: 5/22/2008 4:57:05 PM | How is this person related to you/your life? or is this some random question? Or someone you know, but is not personally in your life?
More details................. | |
|
m4ever
|
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 25 | |
| What do you do??
Posted: 5/22/2008 8:14:45 PM | | I think if you witness this person doing something that can harm himself or others you could call the police. You don't have to be related, that I know for sure. If you know for sure they are manic depressed/schizophrenic there is a chance this person's meds are not working, or he/or she is not taking them , as they should. Maybe they need an evaluation. The thing is, unless it is happening in the present tense, meaning at this moment, the police wouldn't have much to observe when they arrived. It can't just be a past incident, or because you think something, ya know? For your protection though, if you're around this person at all, I would carry pepper spray, and a cell phone in hand at all times. YOUR best interest though, is to stay away from this person at all costs. Even if it means restraining a friendship with someone who is involved with this person. I know it sounds harsh, but, this person needs help as well if they are with this type of person. | |
|
Home
login 
