| I need help finding out why
Posted: 5/22/2008 1:36:02 PM | | I don't get any responses from members. I write to members and am very polite about it, I keep it short and even thank them for the time it took to read my message. Is it my profile or the fact i am a polite and honest person? Can anyone give me any pointers . | |
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| I need help finding out why
Posted: 5/22/2008 2:22:05 PM |
I keep it short
Short like your profile? Skant message + skant profile = zero interest.
You give these women nothing to work with.
From your profile......"the more you ask the more i reveal."
What exactly makes you think a woman would be so instantly intrigued with you that they would be interested in drawing information out of you? They are, more than likely, spending their time corresponding with those men that have spent more than 30 seconds on their profile.
I am sure you have much more to offer than one paragraph. I suggest you take the time to write a decent profile. | |
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| I need help finding out why
Posted: 5/22/2008 3:05:01 PM | LMAO Pheonix is correct, go to "profile writing tips" . Follow the guidelines given there, then post back to this thread, and we will help you tweek it.
best wishes
OFCB | |
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| I need help finding out why
Posted: 5/22/2008 4:39:58 PM | Is it my profile or the fact i am a polite and honest person?
It is the person that you're portraying in your profile that is not working. IMO.
I just want to hit on a few suggestions here then I'll leave you to it.
You have body type; *a few extra pounds*, I would suggest that you re~evaluate the pictures that you have selected as they are far from flattering to you in that regard.
The about me section needs an over~haul. This is where you describe the strengths and characteristics that you have as an individual. Are you kind, considerate of others, impatient or bull~headed? These are the things the women reading want to know about you, the *real* you.
Also in that section write a few lines or a separate paragraph defining the type of lady you're looking for. What qualities and personality traits are you attracted to? Just 2 or 3 nicely written paragraphs, spaced correctly for easier reading work very nicely here. Capitalisation is key here as well as proper grammar and sentence structure.
I think you can do better by taking the advice given.
Good luck | |
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| I need help finding out why
Posted: 6/9/2008 11:51:55 AM | | Can anyone look at what I have rewritten and see what they think? Any help would be great. | |
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| I need help finding out why
Posted: 6/9/2008 4:30:06 PM | Won't re-write all this, but here's some editing and a bit of spelling correction:
I am 32 years old.... I am 6 foot ... I know how to treat a woman .... I have an excellent sense of humour ... I love the outdoors and really ...I have a full time job as a local truck driver.... I have a deep passion...
~~~~~PARAGRAPH BREAK~~~~~
I have a 5 year daughter .... I am a person who cares very much... I hold many things close to my heart ...I am a very hard working person ...
Try revising your sentences so that not every one of them starts with "I." For instance, "as a local truck driver, my job takes me to [place]..." (I am not suggesting that you shorten all your sentences; I clipped most of the words to make all the Is stand out more dramatically.)
You could also try something like, "Do you have an excellent sense of humor? Me too!"
One of my things is local interests. "Going to see Stuart Mclean at the Crysler Theatre," "walking along the riverfront and enjoying the Detroit skyline," that sort of thing. (Sorry I'm not up on local references; it's been a while.)
Someone else mentioned that the pics do not show you to best advantage. Where is that sense of humor? Let's see a shot of a happy friendly teddy bear fellow.
HTH | |
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| I need help finding out why
Posted: 6/9/2008 4:47:10 PM | Very excellent advice here from all who responded. For me, it's your picture...it's scary. You need to get a friend to take 20 or so digital pictures of you doing different things. Let your sense of humor show.
Your writing is one big paragraph. When I see that I don't even read it if it is coupled by unflattering photos. | |
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| I need help finding out why
Posted: 6/9/2008 5:51:19 PM | | I sure have. I just have a hard time describing myself, and I try to see myself from someone esles point of veiw but seem to draw blank when doing it. | |
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| I need help finding out why
Posted: 6/9/2008 6:37:40 PM |
As a 32 year old man, I have sandy brown hair and blue eyes
That's already covered in your stats at the top of your profile, so it's just redundant filler you can remove.
Also we already know you have a child by the same stats, so while it's wonderful you love your kid, just a short mention of her will suffice.
Since you have diffuculty opening up about yourself it might be helpful to at least add about 10 more interests to your list. Actually ATV's [written in upper case letters] are an interest that belongs there, and not in your 'About Me' section. Take a lot of those interest out of that section and start building a good solid Interests list. Women can find your profile through searches if your interest match up. | |
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| I need help finding out why
Posted: 6/9/2008 6:44:34 PM | Nobody else mentioned this so I will. Your screenname -- lilwezel= "little weasel"? What for? Weasels aren't particularly nice, friendly, trustworthy or cute. And they stink, too.
You can change your screenname under "edit profile" if you want to. If you're in love with it, then never mind. | |
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| I need help finding out why
Posted: 6/9/2008 7:21:17 PM |
I am 32 years old, have sandy brown hair and blue eyes(when they want to be). I am 6 foot and am a big teddy bear. Hi, my name is Dan I'm 6'0", and 250 pounds with eyes that change color with my changing moods. The silhouette is mainly for the side job, but once you learn to read my eyes, you'll always know when I'm just messin' with you.
I know how to treat a women with respect and how they should be treated, in such a way I am to be called a big sweetheart too. I have an exlleent sense of humour and love to joke around.I love the outdoors and, really enjoy riding my atv. I'm really just a big ol' sweetheart and love to joke around.
The stuff I left out is not necessary. Apparently, your name is now "Dan".
Myself and friends do take trips a few times a year to different places to ride, so you could say i enjoy travelling. I do have a full time job as a local truck driver, and also do private secruity with many local places. I love to travel, so I take my bike on the road a few times a year, sometimes solo, other times with a small group of friends. If you can handle a bike, let's ride! Road trips are always better with extra eyes.
OK, I assumed you were talking about your bike. If you bring up the bike, don't assume she wants to straddle yours. There are plenty of women who ride, so don't risk alienating them. If she doesn't ride, still let her invite her way to the second seat. Leave out the truck driver stuff. You and I know it's a great job to have, but with the women, the job has zero juice. I also left out the security work. Earlier, you put a question in her head, "What side job does he have that it helps to be a large man?" The answer will likely be among the subjects of your first few emails.
I have a 5 year daughter with my ex, and I love my little girl to death. I am a person who cares very much about friends and family. I hold many things close to my heart but nothing is as dear to me as my daughter. < I know this is good stuff, but I suggest saving it for your coffee chat.
I am a very hard working person and am not afraid to take on any challenge life has to offer. I have a deep passion for being outside, whether working or playing I would sooner be outdoors than indoors.< Talk here about what you like to do outside. Leave out the hunting and fishing, but play up the festivals, concerts, camping bike/ATV/snowmobile excursions. If you have an extra vehicle that she could borrow and drive, it's a great way for her to see herself enjoying these things along with you. Tell her that all she'll need to bring is a helmet and sense of adventure. Otherwise, you'll be dangerously close to just talking about things you usually like to do with other dudes.
- T | |
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| I need help finding out why
Posted: 6/9/2008 7:22:06 PM |
I sure have. I just have a hard time describing myself, and I try to see myself from someone esles point of veiw but seem to draw blank when doing it.
This is a VERY large part of why you are struggling.Let's do this one section at a time,we will start with WHO you are. DO NOT try to write your profile from SOMEONE ESLES point of view. This needs to be about who YOU are, YOUR personality, YOUR dreams, YOUR hobbies. FORGET about EVERYONE ELSE!
You need to think of two words that describe your personality, here are some examlpes: adventurous, oldfashioned, aggressive, passive, geek, intense, layed back, introvert/extrovert, timid, shy, outgoing, etc. Do any of these words describe you? If they do, write one sentence for each word that you have chosen, and put them in the beginning of your profile.
DELETE the first paragraph.
Best wishes
OFCB | |
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| I need help finding out why
Posted: 6/9/2008 7:54:32 PM | Hey ya big lug, I can tell you've been working on your profile. It looks a lot better than it did when I was suffering from "I-strain."
Keep at it, we'll get you into something good! | |
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| I need help finding out why
Posted: 6/11/2008 6:29:50 PM | | Ok now how does that look and sound for a start.........any thing else i should add........I really and a very easy going person but not afraid to stand up for what i believe in........ | |
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| I need help finding out why
Posted: 6/11/2008 7:44:35 PM | | For all those wondering it started as a joke from a few friends.........I always seem to know when and where they would be and what they were doing........after a while they statred calling me a sneeky lilwezel.....so over the years the name stuck...........but that's the short verison....and whne you see me ......that's not the case by any means. | |
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| I need help finding out why
Posted: 6/11/2008 7:48:28 PM | My excellent sense of humor and the love to joke around really makes for enjoyable days with me, I love to laugh. Do you think you can make me laugh harder then iI can make you? If you think my screen name sounds weird........ there's a funny story behind it.....but that's for another day.....lol.
Hi wezel, do the comedians on comedy central tell you when to lagh? I don't think they do. Now, if the professionals do not do that? Then neither should you. DO NOT tell us you are funny, SHOW us you are funny. Try telling this funny story you are talking about. You may be able to use that here.
I am a fun and adventurous guy who is looking for a lady who is willing to be there and have fun with me.
This is a good start! The only thing is, FUN is not a good word to use. It DOESN'T make you UNIQUE that you like to have fun, or be with someone thats fun. That is what a profile needs to do, explain what is UNIQUE about you. The other thing is, you have have talked about you AND her, in the same paragraph. These two subjects need to be kept seperate, or it is confusing to read it. So, to wrap it up, get rid of ALL the references to the word FUN. Then think of a word that screams WEZEL, use that word instead.
I challenge you to make the attempt to keep up.
Challenges should be left untill AFTER contact has been made. DELETE
Being a very easy going and laid back person, I take life as it comes , but at the same time am not afraid of making plans for the future.
Here you have gone back to YOU again. See how hard it makes it to understand? This is VERY good! Put this sentence with the one where you talk about you being adventurous, and you have the start of a VERY good WHO you are. This needs to be in the first paragraph.
Having a huge heart makes my friends and family mean the world to me, and I would do anything any time for any of them. Challenges come into my life, making me a great person, therefore making me into a person who is not afraid of any challenges, and not afraid to work very hard for anything I may want.
We will talk about this AFTER we have your about you finished.
Best wishes
OFCB | |
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| I need help finding out why
Posted: 6/11/2008 7:50:07 PM | Hey, you might want to change your e-mail limitations. I just tried to message you (wanting to share a sample of a new photo) and got "lilwezel is not accepting messages from someone of your age or gender."
Age I can understand (that really is my AARP card). But gender?? Whoops! | |
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| I need help finding out why
Posted: 6/11/2008 7:53:14 PM | You still have some way to go there. The content is okay, but it doesn't have the flow.
Your sentences need revision so as to make them nicer to read.
Maybe Maggie could chime in here, and do one of her copy and paste jobbies? Please??? | |
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| I need help finding out why
Posted: 6/11/2008 8:59:56 PM | Okay, Miss Jane... This is the best I could do with what information I had to work with.
Some of it is revised, reworded, or taken from Sonic's post above.
If you want to use this in the about me section, Lil... just copy/paste.
I'm an easy going, laid back man with an excellent sense of humor; love to joke around and make others laugh. I enjoy having fun and seeking new adventures. I have a 5 year old daughter that means the world to me. And I consider family and friends as one and would do anything for them. I'm not afraid of a challenge or working hard for what I want. I tend to take life as it comes but also am willing to plan for the future.
I love to travel, so I take my bike on the road a few times a year, sometimes solo, other times with a small group of friends. If you can handle a bike, let's ride! Road trips are always better with extra eyes. If you think my screen name sounds weird... there's a funny story behind it...
I'm looking for a sensitive, considerate fun~loving woman that can appreciate my sense of humor and maybe shares the ability to make me laugh as well. I'd like someone that accepts me for myself, as I will her.
Good luck
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| I need help finding out why
Posted: 6/12/2008 5:41:51 AM | Try to get a profile picture where you look happy, and as if you have a friend or relative to wield the camera. That one looks like you took it yourself by holding the camera at arms length.
The bike one is nice because it shows your interests. Put up some more photos that have you in a setting so we can get more of a feel for what interests you.
You have a good list of interests, enough to give us an idea if we have interests in common, not so many that it's overwhelming.
That said, take some of the sound advice others are giving regarding your profile.
And when you write messages to women you're interested in, don't make it TOO short. Say something that indicates that you have read the woman's profile and then indicate why you think the two of you might hit it off.
A good short message: "I liked the picture of you backpacking. I love the outdoors too. I like to get out to the woods, pitch a tent by a stream, and have fresh-caught fish for breakfast. How about you? What are your favorite trails?"
What not to say: "Your pictures are very nice. Write to me if your interested!" | |
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| I need help finding out why
Posted: 6/15/2008 7:55:42 PM | | Ok I borrowed what Maggie allowed me to use, and added a few new pics........What do you folks think ? | |
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| I need help finding out why
Posted: 6/15/2008 8:13:31 PM | Here's the reality check. No responses IS more the norm than not. Read the other bazillion threads in the other forums.
Not said to discourage you at all, just to let you know it's common to this venue. Heck, I've seen "I haven't gotten any response" from gorgeous women. I know, really, I'll read the post, check their profile and go wow....I don't know what to say.
It just puts it all into perspective to realize it happens to almost everyone. You've put in a lot of work on your profile, I did read the thread. Just realize, it's not necessarily YOU, or anything about YOU. It's just a more common experience than many realize.
You're looking for one person, keep your focus on that, and don't be discouraged, you never know. People join every day. You may meet the most wonderful woman, it may or may not be here.
Your best ally will be patience, refusing to give up, throw in the towel and not letting anything ever discourage you from finding that special someone. Many look to the internet as a dating vending machine...instant results.
Be patient...be encouraged, keep your chin up!! You have lots of people who've offered help, we're all pulling for you and everyone else to find what they're looking for. And see you in the "success stories".  | |
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| I need help finding out why
Posted: 6/15/2008 8:16:00 PM | I would adjust the body type to Big and Tall; you're a few over but you are 6 foot tall. JMO.
I like the fact that you took our advice and got some more pictures on here. I still don't think the one you are using for main is flattering to you. Try to get a nice close~up of you smiling and replace the one you're currently using.
The first date is a time to get to know each other not be a time to see how much one decides to spend on a new person.
I'd lose that line; it's negative and not woman~friendly. Not a good thing to put out there when you're trying to hook them for a first date. Best not to let past experiences ruin future ones. Money should not be brought up; it is after all up to you to decide on that first date so spend what you want.
You should drop your mileage restriction, from what I've gathered the distance is not calculated correctly.
I think you've come quite a ways from where you started... Good luck in the pond : ) | |
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