| What should I tell her to do?
Posted: 5/22/2008 2:05:45 PM | I have a friend that says she is totally in love with this guy. They went to High School together and were mutual friends. She meat him on my space and they ended up living in the same town. They arranged to meet up and have dinner together. They started hanging out and were always together. She told me he was wonderful everything she wanted in a man. She said he was great with her kids and they really liked him. The problem is he has to move out of state for a job. He has to move from TX to SC. She said there is no way she can move because of her job and kids. She wanted to know what she should do. She said she loved him with all her heart and could not bare him to go. She can not move because her custody is restricted to 100 miles of the county. I’m not sure what to tell her to do.  | |
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| What should I tell her to do?
Posted: 5/22/2008 2:26:28 PM | Why is her custody restricted to 100 miles of the county??
Is this a legal binding or something???
ps...I love it when people say they "have this friend"... For a start the "friend" should start thinking in the first person....  | |
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| What should I tell her to do?
Posted: 5/22/2008 2:34:16 PM | | Wow that is tough. If she has off weekends where the kids are with their dad then she could fly up or drive unless money is an issue otherwise I don't really see how it could work without someone sacrificing their job. The only other alternative I can think of is if custody restrictions were changed so that the kids were with each parent for longer, for example, summer for dad, autumn for mum, winter for dad, spring for mum etc. This is of course is assuming that the guy she likes is in love with her that much to accommodate. | |
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| What should I tell her to do?
Posted: 5/22/2008 2:44:51 PM |
Why is her custody restricted to 100 miles of the county??
This is actually a very common part of the child custody order in a divorce decree. It is called the joint-parenting agreement. It helps to ensure that both biological parents have an active role in the parenting of the children and also prevents one parent from taking the kids away from the other. It is very common in amicable divorces. I have the same sort of agreement with my ex-wife because I was concerned she might try to move my son out of state and therefore out of my life.
I'm afraid your friend is out of luck without going back to court to change her divorce decree. It is VERY unlikely that a judge will recend the order without the agreement of the child's biological father. They're not going to allow her to simply take his children away unless he agrees to it. | |
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| What should I tell her to do?
Posted: 5/22/2008 2:47:02 PM | | ya that would be the problem. Im not sure how he feels about her.I dont really know him. I do know that the ex hubby would not allow her to move with the kid. The only option would be to give up custody. The only thing I can suggest is that if he truly loves her he wouldn't go. She can just play it by ear and faith and will take care of things. besides who knows if the job will work out for him. | |
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| What should I tell her to do?
Posted: 5/22/2008 4:04:16 PM | | I was thinking the same.... if he TRULY loved her, he would find another job to stay with her and her children.... | |
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| What should I tell her to do?
Posted: 5/22/2008 4:07:44 PM | | He could truly love her without being an idiot about it. She has a divorce decree saying she has to stay around the kid's father. She should renegotiate that if she wants to move the kids. He didn't sign up to sty within 100 miles of her ex. That's not a realistic constraint on a relationship. | |
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| What should I tell her to do?
Posted: 5/22/2008 4:55:33 PM | | The economy the way it is, it can be difficult to find decent positions/jobs. If she isn't willing to work with her ex or see if the custody order can be modified and she can't live with out the new beau, she better make sure the beau really wants her before she takes off to be with him. I can't imagine leaving my children! They are part of me. I can not imagine asking a man to leave his children either. Not knowing the beau's side of things, he may actually be ready to break from her. Some times you do need to see a number of sides to a story, in this case his, her's, and the ex's. | |
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| What should I tell her to do?
Posted: 5/22/2008 5:49:39 PM | | There's nothing you can tell her to do. She's stuck where she is. He's leaving. What's there to tell her? | |
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| What should I tell her to do?
Posted: 5/22/2008 6:06:22 PM | Reading between the lines, no where does your friend say that this moving out of town man loves her or has asked her to move with him. If that had happened your friend would not have been tasking you but asking a layer that knew about the 100 mi rule.
Your friend must kiss him goodbye and find another. | |
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| What should I tell her to do?
Posted: 5/22/2008 6:18:19 PM | | They went to high school together and knew each other and then become mutual friends after they "meat" on myspace. What are you saying woman? | |
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| What should I tell her to do?
Posted: 5/22/2008 6:28:05 PM | She has pretty well set up so there is only one answer.
He WILL move to SC...
She has said she won't move.
Time to say goodbye.
What answer do you want?
You want her to DEMAND that he give up his job?
You want someone to say she has to give up her kids and move?
Sorry... not happening here.
Reality says thier relationship is not going to work out.
NEXT! | |
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| What should I tell her to do?
Posted: 5/22/2008 9:49:43 PM | Hmmm....he ALREADY took the job in SC, so obviously the job is more important that playing step-dad.
Am I the only one that thinks this relationship is less than a few months old? Sure tell the guy he's can camp free on your friend's sofa and drink the beer from her fridge as much as he wants. He can fight with the ex when he comes to pick up the kids, and he can bring over his buds and leave loaded guns lying out when the pass out drunk.
Or he can pursue his career. Wonder which scenario he will pick? 
Better ask before he gets on that midnight train to Georgia.
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| What should I tell her to do?
Posted: 5/22/2008 10:08:50 PM | Why would you tell her anything?
Is she asking you to make the decision? Why on earth would she do that?
I'll summarize what you've said:
He's moving, no way she can move.
What's left to decide? Who would remove a parent from their children's lives for a new relationship? | |
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| What should I tell her to do?
Posted: 5/22/2008 10:51:10 PM |
I’m not sure what to tell her to do.
What can you tell her? She is an adult woman, who has a mind of her own. You shouldn't put yourself in a situation that might fall back on you, later in a negative way.
she is totally in love with this guy.
She may in fact love him, but how does he feel about her? It doesn't seem to effect him that she is absolutely tied down to within 100 miles, of her town in Texas.
If I were your friend I would try to end it with friendship, and on a good note, despite the love she feels for him. If he meets someone else in South Carolina, she will be far more devastated that he was cheating on her. If he loves her as much as she loves him perhaps he can work his way back to Texas. | |
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| What should I tell her to do?
Posted: 5/23/2008 7:16:35 AM |
blondie75::: I’m not sure what to tell her to do
I can't see that YOU can tell her to do anything or that you even should!
You cannot make a life decision for her. All the facts are there, what can you actually give advice on? You don't even know how he feels about all of this!.. yet you ask us to help you make a decision what you can tell her.
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| What should I tell her to do?
Posted: 5/23/2008 7:22:37 AM | | I think the poster above nailed it on the head. Its her problem, not yours. The OP is being a good friend by trying to provide advice, but sadly this is a problem that the OP's friend has to figure out for herself, unless the OP's friend wants to post her problem here. | |
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