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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > I think we need to slow down.      Home login  
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 trb7603
Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 1
I think we need to slow down.Page 1 of 1    
what does a man acctually mean when he says he needs to slow down when you have already slept with him and spent weekemds with him, with his child and yours.???? Go figure you can't slow down backwards. Whats done is done and feelings are hurt.
 isspringhere
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 2
I think we need to slow down.
Posted: 5/22/2008 8:32:53 PM
One of two things................

1. He's having second thoughts and needs space and time to evaluate things.

2. He's looking for an escape to get out without hurting your feelings, even though that's impossible to do.
 WackMC
Joined: 4/23/2008
Msg: 3
I think we need to slow down.
Posted: 5/22/2008 9:06:49 PM
He means don't call every day. Call every other day.
He means no trip this weekend. Maybe a trip next weekend.
He means slow down, you are not a tramp making a buck, make love, not sex.

Why are you in a rush? Are you late?
 guynamejeff
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 4
I think we need to slow down.
Posted: 5/22/2008 9:08:41 PM
I think it means exactly what you think it means. He's found himself way further along in this relationship (slept together, spending weekends with kids) than he planned to, or is comfortable with.

I'm not sure what you mean by slowing down by going backwards, but backwards is pretty much what he's asking for. Sorry your feelings are hurt.

If he is worth it, you'll respect his comfort level with his family and this relationship. Slowing down doesn't have to mean stopping.
 nocatchyname
Joined: 1/15/2007
Msg: 5
I think we need to slow down.
Posted: 5/22/2008 9:22:51 PM

Slowing down doesn't have to mean stopping.

 snu164
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 6
I think we need to slow down.
Posted: 5/24/2008 5:16:44 PM
Men are very literal. If he said he wants to slow, he probably means exactly that.
 Ferruginous
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 7
I think we need to slow down.
Posted: 5/24/2008 5:32:31 PM
what does a man acctually mean when he says he needs to slow down
um... maybe you should ask him, rather than asking a bunch of strangers on the internet who don't know him?



spent weekemds with him, with his child and yours.
perhaps you're introducing your children into a potential new relationship a little too early?
 Spanish Lover XCLNTE
Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 8
I think we need to slow down.
Posted: 5/24/2008 7:08:41 PM
Yeah, I think it's the kids angle here. Sleeping together does not mean its a long term thing yet and so the kids should be left out until you've made a serious commitment to each other.

I could also mean he needs some time off, he might be feeling a bit smothered by all the new emotions.

A guy is not equipped to be all that emotional and needs some down time every once in a while.
 RedCassandra
Joined: 10/9/2007
Msg: 9
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I think we need to slow down.
Posted: 5/24/2008 7:35:15 PM
Hmmm... how long have you been seeing him? ... before you slept together and introduced kids into relationship...

 haase45
Joined: 5/17/2008
Msg: 10
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I think we need to slow down.
Posted: 5/24/2008 8:44:31 PM
It might mean he is feeling he is in over his head. How long had it been before you, that he was in his last LTR? If it was not long, then he may still be fighting feelings from it. Trying to decide if he is actually ready for another LTR. What you do in responce to this request is up to you.
 rivereye
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 11
I think we need to slow down.
Posted: 5/24/2008 9:55:09 PM
My guess would be he's feeling a little smothered, and needs some space.
 rivereye
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 12
I think we need to slow down.
Posted: 5/24/2008 9:55:19 PM
However, if he doesn't call in a few days...
 Triumvirat
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 13
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I think we need to slow down.
Posted: 5/25/2008 7:04:57 AM
Op..it's a bunch of B.S he got what he wanted and now must prepare his exit strategy or allow room for other possibilities.
 Ingles
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 14
I think we need to slow down.
Posted: 5/25/2008 8:36:57 AM
"I think we need to slow down."

From female to male before sleeping together: Good, no problem here.
From male to female before sleeping together: Okay but questionable? Insecure? Nervous?

After sleeping together:
1> Okay, maybe re-assessing if the relationship is moving too quickly.
2> Little timeout? Feelings for old gf/bf returning?
3> Questioning commitment? Do I want to continue investing in this relationship?
4> Slowing down to shutting down?
 Sketchness
Joined: 4/6/2008
Msg: 15
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I think we need to slow down.
Posted: 5/25/2008 8:55:37 AM
Well as at least one other poster stated the best thing to do is talk to him.

For me slowing down means I think you are awesome, lets take it a little slower and enjoy our time together. However I am pretty honest and open about my feelings. You would already know why I want to slow down because I would tell you.

As far as the kids and dating go I have a bit different take than most. I am setting an example for my children. One of the things I can show them is how two adults interact in a healthy relationship. I have had one Girlfriend since Me and my ex seperated. My kids got too see two adults interact together and laugh and have fun. When it didn't work they got too see two adults give each other a hug and go their seperate ways without arguing, or vehmence, or nastiness. Pretty different than their home was before. A great lesson!
 Whole 9 Yards
Joined: 6/6/2006
Msg: 16
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I think we need to slow down.
Posted: 5/25/2008 4:34:52 PM
He put the puck in the net and is looking for a new rink to skate. You gave him what he wanted, now you want something from him. His attention, his time etc. And he's not willing to give it up. Probably beginning to feel hemmed in and he wants to run.
Sorry.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 17
I think we need to slow down.
Posted: 5/25/2008 6:36:52 PM
It means its the beginning of the end. It's kind of like I think we should see other people or we need a break.
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