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| How exactly DO you find people who you are attracted to, and also have mutual chemistry with?
Posted: 5/24/2008 5:52:25 AM | It is just a case of keeping going until you find the one where everything just falls into place. When you get butterflies in your stomach, excited but also very nervous and everytime you get a message on your mobile you hope its from them, maybe you've cracked it
Dont think its an exact science, if you know the secret then you could become very rich! | |
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| How exactly DO you find people who you are attracted to, and also have mutual chemistry with?
Posted: 5/24/2008 6:25:20 AM | | I think its just trial and error. In real life, I went on a double date once, and the chemistry was so good that we ended up together for 14 years (married 12 of those year). Online, I met someone on Yahoo in 2006 (after I got divorced), and the chemistry was good enough that we were together almost 2 years. So I think it's just a matter of sorting through until lightening finally strikes, so to speak. Sometimes its the first person you go out with, other times it takes more than one try. | |
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| How exactly DO you find people who you are attracted to, and also have mutual chemistry with?
Posted: 5/24/2008 6:48:29 AM | Well.. here is what I know:
No not rely on online dating to work for you. Get out and do things. Learn to dance.. you will meet a lot of women that way! Take cooking classes... ditto! Go back to college..adult education/continuing education classes. Take up hiking..there are many hiking clubs.. there are walking clubs too. You will get out and meet real people. Volunteer... Go do what interests you. Don't expect to meet women while doing uniquely "men" type things: paint-ball, football, and the like. Also.. don't expect to meet women in settings where they are already with others where they are already involved like golf.
When you meet people in real life.. you are in a position to see them, see how they move, interact with others. You have the chance to talk with others... get to know them more in a setting that isn't laden with the over-tones of "date" or "first meet". I know that attraction develops over time... having the chance to be around others over a longer period of time is a good situation to get into. | |
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| How exactly DO you find people who you are attracted to, and also have mutual chemistry with?
Posted: 5/24/2008 9:52:16 AM | I believe we're all still bound by the laws of our cavemen ancestors. It's all in the Sex pheromones. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten to know someone online or on the phone and think we really have a serious connection , only to meet and there is absolutely NO chemistry. And visa versa...I married my last pheromone driven relationship. We met shooting pool. Went home together an hour later(cause neither of us could help it, it was too intense), married 6 months later, had two kids and 23 years together and then his****fell off or something and he bailed when his sex drive diminished with age. Not what I would propose to anyone. I am now trying not to be such a knuckledragger. But boy howdy, great sex really gets you through allot of tough times in a life together.
But I will stand upright from now on..Are we not men?(or women..you get my drift) | |
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| How exactly DO you find people who you are attracted to, and also have mutual chemistry with?
Posted: 5/24/2008 10:04:35 AM | Here is what I found.
Put in your profile how you really are and what you really want. It will cut down on the number of potentials but it will also increase your chances of finding the right kind of person.
Craft your profile, this is the first representation they are going to see of you. Get good pictures, check your spelling, make sure your profile is enjoyable to read.
Date with a positive attitude. Don't be afraid to get shot down or get hurt by rejection. Remember they aren't rejecting you because you are not worth dating, they just don't feel you are right for them.
Look, search, put your self out there. Don't expect someone is going to find the proverbial needle in a haystack that is you.
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| How exactly DO you find people who you are attracted to, and also have mutual chemistry with?
Posted: 5/24/2008 12:37:27 PM | How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?
Where might I find the world's biggest diamond mine?
You're asking something that has no formula or easy answer. If all you had to do for the solution was ask on the internet, forums and websites like these wouldn't exist. I'll say that if this site is your main tool for finding what you want, you're making a mistake. There is no substitute for face-to-face encounters, and you have to leave your bedroom to have them.
There's something to the old line that love happens when you expect it least. It's true, it does - it happens when you're doing something other than trying to find somebody to be with. It always did for me, anyway. The two great loves in my life happened this way:
1.) I was walking to a store in a mall to buy a CD when she walked past me, and gave me a look that would bubble paint on a car. My friend with me noticed. "Woah, dude..." he said. I saw the girl go into a store, and in a daze, I followed and had no line or snappy line to play on her. I just told her my name and said that when I saw her outside, I knew I had to talk to her. She laughed, and said, "oh, I was hoping you'd say something to me." And I was with her for 4 years after that.
2.) I was at a conference for my job, and at break time, we were invited to eat muffins and juice from the convenient table. I was getting a bottle of pineapple (a rare flavour for this kind of event) when I noticed this woman beside me getting a tea. Absurd as this sounds, I noticed her dress pants, which were a charcoal grey, with a barely noticeable silver pinstripe to them. Which, interestingly, matched the few lodes of silver shot through her dark hair. Again, I had nothing to say, but my mouth did it for me. "Wow - I really like your slacks," I said. It was just the first honest comment that fell out of my mouth. And she smiled. I ended up with her for 5 years.
I was a different person before and after both those relationships, and I planned neither encounter, though I was looking for somebody both times...just not at the moment that those events occurred.
You have no control over the fact whether someone will be attracted to you.
You have no control over the fact that someone will leave your life someday. They just go and you can't stop them.
But you also have no control over their arrival, either. People enter and exit the stages of your life, and it's up to you to reckon them when they get there.
The choice will be yours to recognize the moment when they do. I was lucky; I knew my moment had arrived twice and I'm a better person for it. | |
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