| I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/25/2008 3:44:27 PM | This is actually a huge problem. I have never dated anyone. Yes, you must be thinking wow is that ever sad.. but no I couldn't possibly be more happy about my lack of meaningful relationships. I have avoided at all costs any possibility of falling for any man. I've had enough people walk into and out of my life.. I don't get close to anyone, period. I'd rather not know the pain that comes from missing someone once they're gone.
But here is the problem.. I met someone and I think that maybe, just maybe I like him. Of course, I am not entertaining any ideas.. I am just saying that I think he's Alright. So here I am with all these stupid questions going through my mind.. I wonder if he likes me, I wonder if it would be a bad idea to text him even though he told me that I'm welcome to, I wonder if it would be too forward of me to ask him if he wants to hang out with just me sometime. Of course, the most likely outcome is that I will be too much of a coward to talk to him ever again and will likely not even remember his name in a matter of a few days. Anyways my point here.. well to be honest, there is none. It's more of a question really.. how do you stop yourself from liking someone? | |
|
| I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/25/2008 3:52:43 PM | You cant- I have tried. I have been like you and tried to
reason with myself and talk myself out of it but I could
not come up with a valid reason why I should not have
feelings for him.
So here I am in the same place as you- scared to death that I may get
let down or hurt- but you know what, fuck it Im taking the chance because
I rather KNOW the outcome and everything that is in store for me and
risk everything than sit on my hands for the rest of my life WONDERING
what might have been.
We all get hurt, we all have people walk in and out of our lives. Thats
part of life. | |
|
| I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/25/2008 3:52:49 PM | Oh Shug, why on earth would you want to continue to hold your life hostage to the fear of being hurt? That is your first questions...
Next, is you like someone, and fear so much fearing being hurt, but ALL MEANS run as fast as you can in the other direction, and don't look back. Don't think about him, don't text him, don't look at him if he comes around you, in fact give him a really dirty look, so he wonders what he did wrong, and then leaves because of the confusion...
Liking another is part of being human, part of the internal desire to mate and procreate your genes. Liking someone one and falling in love has its risks, but the best part is that IF you find someone that is as into you, as you are into them, then it can be completely wonderful. Sure it is work, and sometimes despite the work it may not work out.
HOWEVER it seems you are set on never being hurt that way, so my advice to you is stay away from the opposit sex as much as possible, this way you can avoid even the small chance of liking someone that MAY hurt you... | |
|
eazk
|
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 4 | |
| I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/25/2008 3:55:27 PM | Congrats...it finally happened. The right guy crossed your path. The best advice I can give is don't be afraid to flirt, share conversation, let him know you like being around him. Let it happen and follow your best intentions.
 | |
|
| |
| I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/25/2008 3:57:00 PM | I don't think you can stop yourself from liking (romantically), caring, or loving someone. Over time, that may change.
As to your question about whether you should ask to hang with him.. why not? Seems the only thing stopping you is apprehensiveness. Go shoot some pool with him, or agree on some activity you both might enjoy, and see where it goes from there. Nothing wagered, nothing gained. Even if you don't hit it off with him romantically, you might make a new friend out of the deal. I can tell you from my own past experience, he might be just as hesitant as you seem to be.
I say go for it, at the very least, what have you really got to lose? | |
|
| I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/25/2008 3:58:52 PM | I just read your profile, so I am not sure if you are being serious with your question. But I am sure if you hang around the person in question long enough, you will find plenty of reasons not to like them. Then, if that doesn't work, then you may have stumbled across someone that you can really like! | |
|
| |
| I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/25/2008 4:16:06 PM | | To me she felt like a lifetime. I had this strange feeling about her, but as I worked with her I tried to just totally ignore her. I was used to more aggressive type women, but she seemed weaker than the women I had been used to dating. Over-Time she started questioning me about " Why men don't date independent women " ? I did sense that she was attracted to me, but her approach was too light for what I was used to dating-wise. One day she got up what little nerve she had and asked me out. My mind went quickly to having her and sensing that my love for her would be deeper than any other. Then my mind went to the possibility of the loss of that love and I knew that my heart would not be able to bare it. So, I answered her; " I didn't want the responsibility of going out with or being bothered by anyone." The rejection was kind because it was sure and quick. But it wasn't at all a rejection of her (which she had no way of knowing); I was rejecting the possibility of the pain of loss. That was over 20 years ago. She's either a doctor now or her Brother writes songs for Nora Jones ? | |
|
| |
| |
| I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/25/2008 6:02:12 PM | Its easy to fall out of love. Find their faults, and keep remembering them. The problem is, you'll keep enjoying the feeling of being in love, b/c you feel so part of life, so alive, if you just have an object, any object, to love. We humans so love to stick around our temptations, hoping an opening will show.
But, you'd probably feel more comfortable with some substitute to love, some object that you can actually have control over, that will never hurt you b/c you won't allow it.
So, now you can make a decision. Do you want to try something new? The pain you fear, isn't caused by losing the person. Its the fear we feel that we cannot recover when the end comes.
Get to know yourself, you'll learn you can soldier on. The pain won't disappear, it'll just be bearable, and the fear will reduce.
If you seek control, do not find it in saving yourself pain. Find it in finding your strength. Pain cannot be escaped, just overcome. | |
|
| |
| I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/25/2008 6:42:40 PM | | You're done- here's the fork. Ummmmmmmmmm I guess all I can tell you is keep it to yourself till he reveals himself in a good way- that doesn't mean while necking on the couch. You'll know though. | |
|
| I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/25/2008 6:57:53 PM | lol... how bout not being such a wimp? Pain is a part of life. If you never feel pain from the loss of someone close to you, how will you ever learn what you're really made of? True gratification and satisfaction [and independence] comes from knowing that you've felt the worst pain, and lived on anyway. There's no greater ego boost, I can promise you that. And it's the REAL kind, not the materialistic kind you get from random people.
Good luck. | |
|
| |
| I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/25/2008 7:56:58 PM |
Of course, the most likely outcome is that I will be too much of a coward to talk to him ever again and will likely not even remember his name in a matter of a few days. You can't control your feelings, only your response to them.
In your case it is as easy as pie. Just restrain yourself from talking to him and hey presto in a few days you'll have forgotten his name.
If that doesn't happen as you predict then you might have to take a chance on coming out of your ice box and risking being happy. | |
|
| I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/25/2008 8:08:45 PM | | You cant stop it. It sneaks up and bites you on the a$$ when you are not looking. Thats what is so cool about it. It just makes you smile when you think of the old man. Thats enough for me because I like smiling. | |
|
| I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/25/2008 8:34:56 PM | Still leaning towards the option of never contacting him.. but who knows I may very well mix things up and do something completely unexpected.
Now the problem is figuring out something clever to say when I contact him. I have never talked to a guy before... | |
|
| |
| |
| I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/25/2008 9:38:07 PM |
how do you stop yourself from liking someone?
People are generally not wired that way, so it's not going to be easy for you to get an answer to that. I have a lot of questions I should ask before giving my opinion about your situation, but lets just assume for the moment that your of sound mind and don't have any social behavior problems and it is your choice to be the way you are.
Two things can happen, first this man you have met could change your life and change the way you see the world for the better, giving you the rose colored glasses that most of us wear. This would be a lucky stroke of luck for you be it as you have never had any other experiance with men. Your inexperiance may be a problem in knowing whats coming.
The other thing that can happen is that this man could just be average or below average in his social behavior patterns. This could end up being a huge disaster for you as you already hold a certain amount of resentment towards the whole relationship thing to begin with. This will result in further resentment on your part towards him because your already wired to be antisocial should it not work out.
My advice, take it with a grain of salt and move very slowly towards anyone that you feel drawn towards. Get some experiance under your belt with men and the varities of them first. Date around, talk to them, get to know them, date as many as you can before taking it down that road. Knowing the conseguences of your actions may be your deterent.... | |
|
| |
| |
| I like someone.. this is not supposed to happen to me!
Posted: 5/25/2008 9:51:56 PM |
The thing that bothers me about people who are deceitful on their profiles is that when I do meet them in person I almost feel embarassed for them when I have to call their bluff. I really don't like making people feel bad about who they are but when they show up on a date and leave me feeling completely disappointed, it's really the only option. It just puts me in a bad position.
What I feel embarrassed for is posters who forget others can look up their posting history. You say you've never dated anyone in this post, but your other posts tell a different story (i.e. the on again off again relationship).
So which is true OP? Care to ellaborate?
| |
|
Home
login 
