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| If we are all "all that" why are we alone?
Posted: 5/26/2008 9:42:18 AM | Every profile say something like "down to earth, easy going, good natured, handsome, excellent provider, great job, love life, etc etc. If everyone is so "all that", why are we all alone and on these sites.
All of us by choice or not by choice have found ourselves in the world alone. Whether our bills are paid, our homes are owned by the bank or not, if we have been at the same job for 25 yrs or 4 months, we are all alone and lonely and all looking for the same thing.
A friend for the journey, a committed lover, a sence of belonging. Maybe I am wrong
and I am the only one. Believe me I am not all that. But I would prefer to experience life without diluting the experience with drugs or excessive alcohol. Hmmm.
Anyone really out there? | |
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vro312
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Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 2 | |
| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/26/2008 9:48:22 AM |
we are all alone and lonely and all looking for the same thing.
Many of us are alone, but many are not. Being on a dating site doesn't necessarily mean a person is alone.
Of those that *are* alone, many are not, in fact, lonely. Being alone does not equal lonely for everybody.
I am absolutely, 100%, without a doubt SURE that we are *not* all looking for the same thing. | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/26/2008 9:51:04 AM | I don't actually have anything like that except to say one word descriptions of my likes.
There's nothing about me personally, more of how I will react to messages and what I consider I value.
I agree with you though, although saying that I don't believe everyone is here for the same thing. | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/26/2008 9:53:11 AM |
Every profile say something like "down to earth, easy going, good natured, handsome, excellent provider, great job, love life, etc etc. If everyone is so "all that", why are we all alone and on these sites
I for one do not claim to be "all that" in my profile - with me, what you see is what you get. | |
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Yawg
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Joined: 5/21/2007
Msg: 6 | |
| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/26/2008 9:53:53 AM | | Lol, so are we supposed to list our negative qualities on profiles? Yeah, many people say that are good natured, easy going, etc, but that doesn't mean everyone doesn't have their own flaws. | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/26/2008 9:58:40 AM | I am okay with being alone and not feeling lonely. I'd like to find someone for the journey, but if I don't - I will try to be at peace about that. Sometimes, late at night, I worry that "he" is not out there - but I have to be peaceful about it.
I'm not having that many nibbles on my fishing line (as much as I hate to admit that), and am having fun here on the forum instead. | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/26/2008 10:06:20 AM | | I think you're looking at it from the "all the glasses are 1/2 empty....so what does it matter what's in them" perspective. Being "alone", to many of us is not nearly as big as issue as....being WITH someone who makes us WISH we were alone. | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/26/2008 10:13:11 AM | Some of us aren't here for anything apart from chatting. Not a case of being alone. Its good to have scope on different people from different areas, broadens horizons and thinking | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/26/2008 10:20:21 AM | Then there are so many other issues ,where they live,the first impression,heigth etc etc.I think a person has to be really lucky to find everything they are looking for all in one person .Comprimise yes or no,without settling, now there is a issue as well
Good luck | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/26/2008 10:47:32 AM | | The issue is not really about whether or not anyone is out there. Of course people are out there. And almost everyone on here could meet someone right now at this very moment in time if being with someone was all that mattered. But having a relationship with a person does not necessarily mean happiness on earth; it can mean unhappiness, or having experiences that make our lives a living hell. Therefore, I would say "yes" to a friend for the journey, "yes" to a committed lover, and "yes" to a sense of belonging. But "no" to all of the above unless the woman I meet is the right type for me. | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/26/2008 10:49:57 AM | That gives the impression that if you were the most awesome person in the world, some fool in high school would have snatched you up and never let you go. People usually aren't all that smart right out of high school- not in the life lessons way.
Some people WERE snatched up in high school..but later got divorced.
Some people didn't want to settle down at that point, and passed up some good ones.
Some people are delusional at worst and subjective at best about their own qualities.
For some, the good outweighs the bad.
Dating, love, marriage...none of this is the stuff of logic. Love is always a shot in the dark. Just because someone hasn't gotten their shot, or because their 'kill' wandered off, doesn't negate their good qualities and catchability. You could have every fabulous quality humankind has to offer, and there are still no guarantees. We have to stop this stigma that if someone is single, that there is something wrong with them.
Married people, oddly enough, are equally as good and as bad as the rest of us. Crazy idea, I know. | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/26/2008 10:59:28 AM |
Every profile say something like "down to earth, easy going, good natured, handsome, excellent provider, great job, love life, etc etc. If everyone is so "all that", why are we all alone and on these sites.
I think you said it your self. Every profile says the same thing. So how is a person to pick?
Write your profile about you and who you want, not for the widest appeal. Then go out there and find them like a blood hound on the scent!
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/26/2008 11:02:06 AM |
Every profile say something like "down to earth, easy going, good natured, handsome, excellent provider, great job, love life, etc etc. If everyone is so "all that", why are we all alone and on these sites.
Well, not EVERY profile says that. Perhaps you need to peruse some more of them. | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/26/2008 11:04:34 AM |
We're alone because we haven't found that one person thats figured out "WE ARE all that"....and a bag of chips too...
Just what I was getting ready to say.... | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/26/2008 11:11:34 AM | why is it that there seems to be a lot of threads on this site and many others saying this same thing? Just cause someone comes to a website doesn't make them less of a person or that something is wrong with them. I'm kinda sick of people making it sound like not being married and not in a relationship makes it seem like i have some new form of lepers. Come on people we are all wanting to find someone we can be with for the rest of our lives, that one person who makes us feel (i know here it comes) complete.
Some of you were lucky enough to find it for a short time and it ended for what ever reason and some times it end due to reasons not seen, i.e. death. So pleasei know its no harm meant but really im happy with my life and i don't look at it as a failure just cause im not married with kids and living the dream life with a white picket fence and 2.5 kids and a dog called bingo or something. | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/26/2008 11:12:07 AM | The internet.
That's why people have moved so far away from how we used to meet people. Today, there are too many choices for relationships. Most people would think that by having access to others, such as on POF, our world of opportunities would increase, and to some degree, they have. However, the pool of fish has immense stock. There's too many people to choose from, now, so many people, rather than try and dissolve a problem with someone they're dating, simply move on and drop another hook in the pond. It's the easy path. And it certainly makes for way less functional relationships.
There's very little reason why I, or anyone in here, couldn't have ample opportunites to date, but here we are, trying to find out why, of all the millions of people online, we are still single or alone.
I do concur with a few others here, who say there's no point in being lonely, simply because you're alone. The two don't necessarily coincide. People can have a world of other people around them and still be lonely, and yet, people can be quite content being alone. I'm convinced I'm just who and where I ought to be; there's a world of opportunity for someone to meet me, and I only want to meet someone who, by my own standards, would like to improve their life. I have personal interest, yes, but in order to have a really substancial relationship, I think one must have a desire to please "the other person" more than you would want for yourself. To give 150%, every day. Unfortunately, reciprocity rears it's ugly head at times, and if we can't find the needed reciprocity from those we're attracted to, well, that is the unfortunate aspect of dating that becomes so frustrating. When you find "the one", you'll know.
I find most people would rather saw their left arm off than to be single or alone, even for a short period of time. Hence, many relationships are based on superficial platforms, where so and so is lonely, and feels a part of them is missing. Rather than work through those feelings of loneliness, and becoming more attune to just being oneself, without others around, they jump into a relationshp within hours/days of the one that just ended. Therefore, many relationships have unstable platforms, most of which will end miserably. If people would give themselves a chance to recover from one relationshp before starting into another, they'd probably find themselves much happier, not to mention, they'll bring a clean slate to their next opportunity, rather than being freshly removed from their previous encounter.
I, personally, would stay single as long as you can. Enjoy your time to yourself. Do things you like doing. If you enjoy hiking or biking, go do that - A-L-O-N-E. That way, you open the door to meet someone who has like interest. If you love theatre, buy some movie passes. If you like to cook, sign up for a cooking class. Put yourself in an environment that is conducive to meeting someone who might have interest in you.
That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!
I've been single almost 4 years now, and while it is quiet at times, I dont' dislike quiet. I'd much rather be in a relationship, but not just to be close to another body. I want the real deal, and I'll bide my time until such time as I'm given the opportunity.
Cheers
Mane | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/26/2008 11:12:54 AM | So what's your question OP?? Do I feel that I'm "all that" because I choose to not settle for someone that doesn't see me as "all that?"
Well, quite frankly I am "all that." I've worked hard all my life to not settle for sloppy seconds or someone else's mistakes. I have a very unique and strong personality which not only scares men away, but women as well when they try to warm up to me wanting a friendship. They see my "snake-like" reptilian personality (my eyes can go to slits in 2.4 seconds if you piss me off..I guess it's just a gift..lol) and run for the hills..yet some of my friends are sticking it out through thick and thin with me because they see my heart beyond the forked tongue and venom like personality that I project on a daily basis to everyone. Lucky them. LOL!! That's just me and they love me for it..at least they always know where they stand with me. I "sugarcoat" nothing.
Most men can't spend 30 minutes in my presence, much less a lifetime. lol
When someone falls into my life and we both look at each other knowing we're "all that" together, yet still hit yard sales for a bargain and eat bologna for dinner 4 nights a week due to the rising gas and food prices..then I'll never let him go..but he'd better never forget that I'm "all that" and a bag of chips!! I'm never lonely, though. I have myself and my neighbors to torment until my friends call..I can't believe they're still calling me..guess I'm "all that" in their eyes, eh?
Sans | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/26/2008 11:24:07 AM |
Every profile say something like "down to earth, easy going, good natured, handsome, excellent provider, great job, love life, etc etc
Well, I personally pass those profiles right by. I am most of that and much more myself. I don't need it spelled out for me, I want to discover the attributes of the person I am with, in my own time.
and phooey..I am not alone just because I am on a dating site. There are many reasons people are on dating sites.
*I resolve to never lose that ability I've found to be alone, the ability to be still and at peace and content in my own company* ~Author Unknown | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/26/2008 11:57:21 AM |
Every profile say something like "down to earth, easy going, good natured, handsome, excellent provider, great job, love life, etc etc
In other words every one is saying they are perfect. Well I for one know I am not perfect - I am simply looking for someone who is an optimist when it comes to life. And, FYI - I have met some terrific women on this site - but I am not looking to get married anytime soon and that seems to be utmost on the minds of many women I contact - so I simply wish them good luck. I know that in time I will find that woman. | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/26/2008 12:04:15 PM | I think that it simply takes time to get to know someone and appreciate just how great they might be, but we are sometimes too impatient and occasionally miss out on something good due to distractions (life, work, other prospects, etc.). I know I've personally let a couple of good ladies slip through my hands because I couldn't see past the here and now, or sometimes read too far ahead without really appreciating what was before me... 
I'm sure the same has happened on occasion with women that have dated me and dropped me "prematurely"... I know at least one now that has try to crawl back into my good graces, but once dropped, I don't allow myself to be picked up again...  | |
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