| when you've lost a lot of weight...
Posted: 5/27/2008 7:31:09 AM | since i was a teenager, i've always been attracted to larger men. not morbidly obese or anything, but kevin james kind of big (i now pronounce you chuck and larry, king of queens star). i wasn't overweight when i was a teen and i found myself still attracted to that type of man throughout college. after college i began to put on weight during a relationship and became quite large myself. after leaving my ex, i began to lose weight considerably (i was obviously unhappy with him!)
anyhoo, i've lost 200lbs the right way, by eating well and excercising. i'm in the best shape of my life. problem is, i'm not attracted to the bigger guys anymore. why is that? i was attracted to them before i became overwight so why not now?
what happened? | |
|
| when you've lost a lot of weight...
Posted: 5/27/2008 7:37:26 AM | Here is my take on why this may be the case:
When you were in good shape and at a smaller size, you had yet to experience how being overweight feels and how it can have a toll on your health. You obviosuly lost the weight for a reason, given you wanted to be healthier again or you didn't feel comfortable and/or like the way you looked.
Your feelings towards yourself while overweight may have given you a different outlook and perspective on how one gets to that size or how they must live to maintain that size (weather true or not), and in return has caused you not to be attractive to others that fit this category. How you felt about yourself could be the way you unconsciencely look at others who are overweight now.
(hope this came out the way it is going on in my head!)
By the way congrats on losing the weight.
 | |
|
| when you've lost a lot of weight...
Posted: 5/27/2008 7:40:41 AM | | wow! that's actually very insightful and it came out just fine...atleast i'm pretty sure i understood how you did in your head LOL. that's very fascinating...i'll definitely think about that! thanks! | |
|
| when you've lost a lot of weight...
Posted: 5/27/2008 7:42:54 AM | Was your ex a larger man? Was your relationship with him really bad? If so, after the break up with him and your lost your weight, it could be that your subconscience mind
has turned you off to this type of man because it reminds you of him or the relationship. It could be that your taste just changed. Men in uniform never use to "turn my head" but now I find I am attracted to men in uniform. | |
|
| when you've lost a lot of weight...
Posted: 5/27/2008 7:51:15 AM | The first thing I must say....WELL DONE YOU!!!!! That's a huge achievement and I wish you every good wish in the world that you continue your life with health in mind!!
Sometimes your preferences just shift....has nothing to do with anything. I know that I am not attracted to the same types of men now that I was when I was in my teens and 20s...my goals and aspirations changed...things that were important then aren't now...things that weren't then are now.
I love the comments from the other posters...my offering is this...you're growing and becoming more evolved and your tastes in friends and partners will do the same.
I just can't say enough what an accomplishment your weight loss is...I'm going through the same now and also doing it the right way. Unless someone knows firsthand how hard it is they can't truly, truly appreciate the feat. | |
|
| when you've lost a lot of weight...
Posted: 5/27/2008 7:52:32 AM | Maybe its because now that you have lost weight and know that it can be done you no longer have the same tolerance for overweight men who could lose if they chose to do so. Either because of health reasons or just to be more active. You have been both and know the smaller image of yourself is more pleasing to you.
You have become thin conscious................................................
But then what do I know I've always been thin.....and never into overweight men.......... | |
|
| when you've lost a lot of weight...
Posted: 5/27/2008 8:09:08 AM | I lost 88 pounds last year and I have been struggling to lose more due to stress etc.
I realized that I wasn't attracted to large men either. I am still big but I htink it is because I want someone who live a healthy lifestyle and that in turn will help support my decision to live a healthy lifestyle. But everyone has to face that thin does not equal healthy, there are many people who are thin and smoke and sit on the couch and do nothing. And in thrun there are large people who work out and do live healthy but they are large for whatever reason.
If I see that a big guy works out and tries to live healthy then I would still date him, but I went through a little guilt for not being attracted to big guys too, I am still a size 20, how can I judge? Overall it is about the persons character and their willingness to better themsleves and your own ambition to continue to better yourself. You don;t see big men in that categorey for whatever reason. Don't beat yourself up over it, we have things we require in our mate and that is ok. As long as we don't whine about not being able to find someone that fits the mold we created, we have to be happy waiting for that person knowing that he may never come along. | |
|
| when you've lost a lot of weight...
Posted: 5/27/2008 10:09:15 AM | Perhaps a little ironic that you're no longer attracted to big guys, seeing as you now know personally the difficulties you can encounter (dating or otherwise) when you're overweight.
However, as we all well know, you don't have to justify to anyone what you find attractive (although I wouldn't go so far as to refer to it as your tastes "evolving" - rather implies that it's "better" to no longer like those guys).
*shrug* | |
|
| when you've lost a lot of weight...
Posted: 5/27/2008 10:16:23 AM | | I've lost 56lbs myself, and it has got me thinking if i can lose weight maybe they can too, but i prefer bigger guys to skinny men. | |
|
| when you've lost a lot of weight...
Posted: 5/27/2008 10:16:40 AM | WOOOHOO on you weight loss, 200lbs huh, man o man good for you!
I too, after leaving someone, have lost weight, 50 lbs, not a whole lot like 200 but i know whatever the numbers are it is not always easy. I feel better, eat healthier, and look a little better. It was kind of funny because it seemed the more I lost and the more poeple noticed and complimented me, the more inspired i became to keep with it.
Anyway congrats! 
David... | |
|
| when you've lost a lot of weight...
Posted: 5/27/2008 10:17:09 AM | Well take it from a really big man . At one point in my life just last yr i was at 387 lbs. im down to 261 in less than 5 months. iI feel alot better but it seems as tho women can tell when aman has lost weight and they still have aproblem with it. its aknown fact that women dont like prefat fat semi fat they want G> Q> kinda men beats me what women think. YOU HAVE DON E WELL LOSING 200 LBS ya loook great keep up the good work
wildman
yall have a good day
| |
|
| when you've lost a lot of weight...
Posted: 5/27/2008 10:43:00 AM | Well OP congrats on your weight loss... Losing 200lbs is... Well for lack of a better word, mind-boggling. I'm 6'1" and weigh 180 lbs (lost 5 lbs due to stomach flu last month  ), that means you lost an entire ME and then some! 
I don't think it's odd of you to have your preferences shift through that period. As the second poster astutely commented beforehand, you've now been on both sides of the coin and thus are uniquely blessed with both perspectives to more accurately choose which lifestyle is best for you. Having been morbidly obese, you can now appreciate being active and healthier (and please note I am not associating thinness with healthy).
I wish you the best of luck in your search for that special someone, big or small! 
However in closing I can't help but correct one thing in your profile: you mention that you are a size 14 and that Marilyn Monroe was a size 14... I hate to keep whipping a dead horse but, Marilyn Monroe was a VINTAGE size 12-14, which by today's standards was a size 6... Sorry to burst your bubble...
Excerpt from http://www.justsaywhen.com/Vintage-101-Sizing.htm:
[...]So my lovely reader, Marilyn ( at one point in her life/career) probably WAS a size 12 but what 99.9% of people who mention this fail to point out, is that she was a VINTAGE size 12. Today, with the same measurements, she would probably be a size 6 (in most garments). Would we love and adore her any less if her dress size was bigger or smaller? I think NOT. She was Fabulous no matter what her size was, vintage or otherwise. Just as YOU are fabulous, what ever YOUR size is!
All the best though!  | |
|
| when you've lost a lot of weight...
Posted: 5/27/2008 11:25:57 AM | thank you everyone for all the great comments. and tigerwoods0924...
However in closing I can't help but correct one thing in your profile: you mention that you are a size 14 and that Marilyn Monroe was a size 14... I hate to keep whipping a dead horse but, Marilyn Monroe was a VINTAGE size 12-14, which by today's standards was a size 6... Sorry to burst your bubble...
my point for that is simply that i am 5'9" and i have boobs, a behind, and hips and they are not petite...they are curvy and full figured and that doesn't make me overweight! some men seem to think that if you have these things, you must be overweight! marilyn monroe was by no means overweight and she had the same shape as i...that's all i was trying to say. | |
|
| |
| |
| when you've lost a lot of weight...
Posted: 5/27/2008 2:22:23 PM | No worries Vicious_Vixen, as I said, it was not my intention to offend, just whenever I reply to someone's thread I give their profile a quick scan to see what they're about, and that just struck me as a quick point that I thought I would inquire about on a thoroughly-enjoyable profile... 
my point for that is simply that i am 5'9" and i have boobs, a behind, and hips and they are not petite...they are curvy and full figured and that doesn't make me overweight! some men seem to think that if you have these things, you must be overweight! marilyn monroe was by no means overweight and she had the same shape as i...that's all i was trying to say.
I would certainly hope you have hips and boobs, or the bedroom antics are going to require a compass and blueprints to figure out what goes where during the fornication! 
Like I said before, congrats again on your recovery and best of luck, no hard feelings intended! | |
|
| when you've lost a lot of weight...
Posted: 5/27/2008 2:52:53 PM | Well, i personally being a bigger guy, i need to lose the weight for health reasons, but if i wasn't getting the health problems, i would honestly be happy being the size i am, it helps me weed out the shallow women, since i just need to take off in my date asking jet and just as i enter her radar, i get shot down by a tactical nuke.
Which means, i get very severely rejected before i even get a chance to ask anything to get rejected.
So, if a woman wants to chat to me, then she genuinely wants to get to know me as a person, while if i was slim and stocky she would likely just think 'wow, he looks hot'.
I would prefer a woman to be interested and attracted to me by who i am on the inside, not what i look like. | |
|
| when you've lost a lot of weight...
Posted: 5/27/2008 4:52:49 PM | SweetieGuy_81...
this isn't a thread on being superficial, etc. i really used to be attracted to larger men and now the attraction has changed. i always look for what's on the inside more the outside and honestly, in my experience, a$$holes come in all shapes and sizes. i wouldn't instantly reject a guy based on his size...especially through here when we don't really see eachother. i'm talking about after i've met them and been completely attracted to their personality or when i see men on the street that even a year ago, i would have been attracted to. i still look at them and think "wow he has great eyes/kind face/great smile" but the little butterfly/heart-stopping/heart-racing attraction just isn't there anymore. i'm just curious as to why this happened. it has nothing to do with me being shallow considering at one time, even when i was not overweight, it was my preference to date larger men. please do not make this thread into something it was not intended to be due to your own issues (start your own thread for that please!). i was simply asking for some input on why i'm no longer attracted to larger men.
Tigerwoods0924
i know you weren't trying to offend and i very much appreciate your comments. and i never said i was a size 14, i said marilyn monroe was (hehe). my actual dress size is no one's business and i definitely would not place it on a dating site profile!...lol...don't worry, if i had been offended by what you had said, you would have known! and thanks for the profile review!
Alaskarain
Was your ex a larger man?
yes he was
Was your relationship with him really bad?
the relationship was horrible but the breakup was ridiculously easy, mutual and friendly (we both knew that we made eachother miserable and when i said i was leaving, he completely understood)
If so, after the break up with him and your lost your weight, it could be that your subconscience mindhas turned you off to this type of man because it reminds you of him or the relationship.
i don't think it's so much that honestly. i continued to be attracted to larger men up until about a year or so ago...i lost the last 50lbs in the last year and that's when i noticed things changed.
everyone's opinions have been great and i'm really "looking into myself" now and analyzing the possibilities. i was worried that i was becoming superficial and shallow. it's nice to know that based on people's responses (except perhaps one!) that isn't the case. | |
|
| when you've lost a lot of weight...
Posted: 6/1/2008 6:57:59 PM | | I was once attracted to older men - then I was attracted to european men - then I was attracted to ...... well men!!! Your likes and dislikes change - it has NOTHING to do with loosing weight! I once lost 175 - it didn't change the desires I had! | |
|
| when you've lost a lot of weight...
Posted: 6/1/2008 8:50:02 PM | | I've lost over 70 pounds. Even when I was heavier, I was still attracted to a certain body type. It's just now those women tend to look back and smile. | |
|
| when you've lost a lot of weight...
Posted: 6/17/2008 6:37:49 PM | This is just my experience... not sure if it will help.
I got quite heavy (close to 200pds) over the last few years. I did nothing more than sit on my couch watching TV and eating & drinking beer. At that point in my life I had a serious thing for "thin" men.
I lost a few pounds and became attracted to shorter, stockier men....
I have now lost quite a few pounds and have become a gym addict LOL and I am finding that I am now attracted to stocky or muscular men that are active and like to stay that way.
I am thinking on my end it is because I have adopted a new way of life. I respect my body (okay okay I still drink beer and refuse to diet LOL) but to be honest, the more weight I lose, the more muscle definition I get, the more attractive I feel and the more I want somone who feels the same. Hope that makes sense.
I really think that the more active you are the more active you want your partner to be. I sure don't want to be with someone anymore that wants to do nothing more than sit on the computer all day or in front of the TV. I want someone who wants to get out and do things ...
Plus I think we all have an image of what we like based on someone perhaps that we have loved at one point. The only man I was truly in love with was short and stocky and they still tend to be the men that attract me the most! | |
|
| when you've lost a lot of weight...
Posted: 6/17/2008 7:13:06 PM | WOW!! congrats on the weight loss OP. Thats quite an accomplishment. and you look great btw.
Maybe sub-conciously when you were a larger women you had doubts about slimmer men being attracted to you. and now that your self esteem is higher you are venturing out to see if you can attract who it is you are really attracted to.
Myself I'm a itty bitty thing..all of 120lbs..and have never really had a weight problem, but have always been attracted to larger men..tall and big..not obese with mega-health concerns..but big. I find a feeling of security in the arms of a big guy. | |
|
| when you've lost a lot of weight...
Posted: 6/17/2008 7:43:08 PM | OP, that's a major accomplishment - good for you. I think you are basically attracted to the lifestyle you're in and those who live it. Since you have lost the weight and you have worked so hard to acheieve it, you don't really want someone who reminds you of where you were and you are also now more attracted to those who work hard as you do to stay healthy.
I see this in men I know who have lost a lot of weight and are now living healthy lifestyles - it raised the bar for them on who they want to be with. It's much easier to maintain a lifestyle with someone who lives it and gets where you're at.
The thinner look is just the outer result of that lifestyle you now identify with. | |
|
| when you've lost a lot of weight...
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:50:53 PM | | WOW, you lost 200 lbs?? congrats, that is an amazing and incredible thing, i'm very happy for you. you must be so proud. | |
|
| when you've lost a lot of weight...
Posted: 6/17/2008 10:15:44 PM | There is NO WAY in hell that Marilyn Monroe would be a size 6 in todays fashions!!!
have you seen her?? She was big boned, broad shouldered and VERY LOVELY!!! and she weighed 160 to 175 pounds!!!! That, my dear ones, is NOT a size 6 in ANY standards! I am a size anywhere from 2 to 6 , all depending on the MAKE, BRAND, STORE, etc....believe me, it really does matter ! A size 2 at LaBeaufs and Tara's Desire will be a size 6 at Macys or Dillard's or Kohl's.
Marilyn Monroe was about the same size as that newest American Idol , Jordan Sparks, and i think they are both just the right size and adorable! cheers!  | |
|
Home
login 
