| | Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?Page 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | Why would a man not want to marry? His career is his passion & not companionship?? Can a man just turn off his needs? Why would one/wk sex satisfy him & why wouldn't he let you in his world. If your good enough for one/night/week, why not to meet friends/family?
And he wants total commitment to this - can't figure it out. | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/27/2008 7:48:17 AM | Because he does not want anything but companionship or sex more than once per week.
Because he does not believe in marriage as an institution.
Because he does not really care for a woman in question.
Because he was badly burnt in previous relationship.
Because his career IS his passion.
Because he does not like living with someone.
Because his needs are satissfied and he does not need anything else.
Could be any of those reasons... or could be a combination... or could be something else.
But... if this is all that HE wants and is not enough for HER... she should move on and not sit around and hope that he will change his opinion.
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Vancer
| | Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 3 | |
| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/27/2008 7:55:26 AM | At that age I do not think he is going to change.
His life pretty much conditioned him into a tough boulder to chip at.
jgcb14621, you are not compatible with this man.
He is looking for sexual release when he needs it. Nothing more. | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/27/2008 8:11:46 AM | JG ~ Oddly enough, the # in your screen name is the exact # of possible reasons why a person would choose not to get married. There is only 1 reason TO get married: because you both want to.
The only way to accurately figure out if two people's needs are compatible is to actually sit down & talk about it. | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/27/2008 8:26:13 AM | can't figure WHAT out???
seems to me he's told you, up front, what he wants. that is a blessing.
and the "once a week" sex thing...don't ASSUME.
dave | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/27/2008 8:37:04 AM | I know a guy who just had his 60th birthday and has never been married. Some people just choose that single lifestyle and dont have a problem with it. Its definately not for me.  | |
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nogo3
| | Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 7 | |
| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/27/2008 9:28:36 AM | holy smokes cutie, you should ask him, but on the other hand maybe it takes him that long to get it up agin. whata deal
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/27/2008 9:47:45 AM | Well, I'm 25 so I can't give you my answer. I however can give you my dad's opinion who is 58, married twice already, and has no plans on marrying his current girlfriend who he been dating for 15 years.
Well the first thing is he has a pretty big life insurance pay out that he wants going to us kids. He already has things decided for when he passes on as to who gets what, including his girlfriend, and doesn't want things to be complicated by the fact that he's married.
The second thing is he's sick of marriage. He has a been there done that and it sucked attitude. He figures he gets the benefits of living with a women he cares about and all the housewife stuff without the pesky pay for her insurance thing (oh and before anyone says anything about common law marriage laws, there isn't one in Wisconsin anymore). He likes the fact that he can combine the things that he wants with her like a married couple but still keep stuff separate since they're not married.
All that being said, its kind of a different situation from yours so I can't say for certain. In my opinion it's that when guys get older they figure they don't have time (as in years left to live) for all the things that a complete married relationship constitutes. So they're content just picking and choosing the part of the relationship they want and ignoring the rest. | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/27/2008 10:08:44 AM | Marriage tends to be an awful thing. It's akin to asking a man "Hey Bob, why would you not want to hammer nails into your groin?"
The ideal of marriage is not what most people thought it was, 20-30 years ago. Now it's a borderline disposable thing. You get married, it doesn't work, don't bother to work it out, get divorced.
Why wouldn't he let you in his world? Perhaps he let someone into his world in the past, and they ripped his guts out at the end of the relationship. So he should let someone else all the way into his world again so it's possible what's left can be torn out his middle once again?
Sounds like the 56 year old is a bit smarter than he's being given credit for. | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/27/2008 10:12:32 AM | Since when is wanting to be or get married a requirement at any age?
What if one doesn't believe in the institution of marriage for philosophical, personal, religious, or "other" reasons (like I do)?
And who cares if the man only wants sex/companionship once a week...isn't he entitled to know his own needs, have his own mind and his own thoughts and live his life the way he wants to?
Or is he supposed to just follow the herd and do what others do just because that's the way it's "supposed" to be and it's always been...wth???
So the man doesn't want to meet any of his "friend's" family or friends...okay. The way I see it, that's his choice and he's entitled to it. In the same way that his "friend" is entitled to either accept his choices or not. No...?
Argh. 
JMO | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/27/2008 10:21:27 AM |
So the man doesn't want to meet any of his "friend's" family or friends...okay. The way I see it, that's his choice and he's entitled to it. In the same way that his "friend" is entitled to either accept his choices or not. No...?
Thats probably the best point right there. Why stress over trying to figure out what he's thinking or whatever you're looking to get out of this thread. No amount of advice we give you is going to magically change his mind.
He wants this you want that, whats there to figure out? | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/27/2008 10:38:15 AM | | Sex and companionship once a week?? If that's what the man wants, then he'll find a woman or women that'll give that to him. Pretty simple really................no stress, no drama that way. And if you not ok with that scenario...........move on!! | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/27/2008 11:33:40 AM | I am three years away from that milestone. I coulda been married easily enough but chose not to for various reasons and I'm better off because of it. Having said that, I still hope to one of these days as long as it doesn't require dating. Aha, a breakthrough!
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/27/2008 2:29:49 PM | | i would have to say he's a very smart man. who wants to lose half or more of what you've accomplished in a divorce and start all over again in your 30's or 40's? the politicians and courts have done a bang up job runining marrage for men | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/27/2008 3:44:23 PM | If a guy is telling you this... for God's sake listen to what he is saying.
Let me translate this into something that makes sense to a female:
Why would a man not want to marry? Because for whatever set of reasons and I don't even want to know what they are, he is unwilling to put anyone else above him in his list of priorities.
His career is his passion & not companionship?? He is interested in money and power first and not into sharing it or his life with anyone else.
Can a man just turn off his needs? Don't let any men tell you differently, but sure they can, however he isn't. This is a lie and here is why... He still wants sex and companionship when he wants it. So, he does not need to, because some woman will be stupid enough to either a. accept this, or b. think she can change him.
Why would one/wk sex satisfy him & why wouldn't he let you in his world. Because he just wants a sperm depository (meeting his needs), he wants this because he is so self absorbed that if things draw close to him, they will be sucked in and crushed, as in, he is a black hole. That and he is 56 and probably not willing to pony up for the viagra to hoist that sucker skyward more than once a week.
If your good enough for one/night/week, why not to meet friends/family? You are fine for him to bone down with, but not someone he wants to share his life with for whatever reason. The why is unimportant, his intention is clear.
And he wants total commitment to this - can't figure it out. He wants you to agree to his way and promise him that you are not going to try to modify this in any way in the future, because he is the most important thing in his universe.
It's OK to be selfish, just as long as you don't walk all over anyone else in the rush to get your needs met. As long as you don't involve the world in meeting your requirements and never give anything back, you're golden. The second you start inviting other people into your life to reap the harvest of their love, warmth and support then give nothing in return, you become a consummate butthead worthy of any and all contempt.
Hey, these are his choices to make and live by. Respect them. Whether you want to be with someone like this is entirely your decision. But before you respect him, respect yourself first and foremost, because I assure you, he will not give you or your needs one moment of consideration.
I would run so far and fast no one could catch me. | |
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Nic36
| | Joined: 5/21/2008
Msg: 18 | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/27/2008 4:49:35 PM | | I'm far from that age but I get asked questions like this. My answers are many but the main reason is that I haven't found a gal that is interested in me and has the same vision of what should be done with our future. Fact is, there is a large chance that I never will. If that makes me an awful guy that sends women into bitter rants, well, hell, at least they're talking about me. | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/27/2008 5:17:32 PM | There is a massive difference between this at 36, and this at 56.
Mine was not a rant for the record. It was a reflection of fact.
The fact that you think there is still a chance, speaks volumes. | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/27/2008 5:28:26 PM | Needs?? Why is sex considered a "need" among women but only a "need" among men when a woman isn't getting any from him?
He gets more than enough companionship in the office and the career.
A man is married and divorced age 35 and you grizzle about "baggage" but this guys prime material age 56 and you are still grizzzling about it. Gripe grip gripe! Couldn't think of a worse way to put a man off you. | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/27/2008 6:29:55 PM | I recently went out with a woman who is 54 and has never been married. I did not ask her why, but i could put 2 and 2 togeather. She was a religious nut / head case. In addition to thinking she was royalty. Maybe she was in her country, but she ain't there now. She is in the good ol' USA. And she had better get used to it.  | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/27/2008 7:14:42 PM | perhaps :
been there, done that, didn't like it and has a longer memory than some
(realizing your post says he's never married - could be he figured out how it all ends up) | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/27/2008 8:32:04 PM | There is a massive difference between this at 36, and this at 56.
Yes, but what if I still haven't been married by that age, does that make me bad and ill-intentioned (is that even a word)? I mean, heck, I've been single for eight years now and I don't see the gals lining up to meet me. Unless I were to put extremely focused energy into finding a mate, I could easily live the rest of my days alone. I'm just an average guy, so I am only approached by someone out to sell something or in need of spare change.
Mine was not a rant for the record. It was a reflection of fact.
Come on now. I bet you are a very bright woman with some strong, well thought out opinions, but anyone's interpretation of someone else's intentions by definition, can't be factual.
The fact that you think there is still a chance, speaks volumes.
What does it say exactly? | |
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