| He Says He loves me!! SOS
Posted: 5/27/2008 9:10:01 PM | Help.... started chatting with a guy the past 5 weeks; he's a lonely hearts club type- lost his wife 4 years ago to a car accident... anyway he travels alot but lives about 20 mins from my place and has a 7 yr old son and a mom my way that helps him with his son... he has been chatting with me on yahoo im reguarly and calling me from Africa and England (sites he works in as a mining engineer) ... but he has been telling me he loves me the past few days. I am totally unsure of this! We havent even met yet!
I dont know-- then today he started talking about meeting and going to his place to get intimate. I said ABSOLUTELY NOT on a first date. He said that he respected my position and wouldnt push the matter but that he felt what mattered most was "our" feelings.
Now I admit I think he's pretty interesting and has a very spiritual/emotional side that is awesome- BUT I am starting to worry that he is moving too fast and concerned for intentions... what do I do????? Seems a bit sketchy ... | |
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| He Says He loves me!! SOS
Posted: 5/27/2008 9:18:40 PM | Hoping someone will respond to this -- so many insightful folks on here.... hoping
to hear back -- THANKS ALL! | |
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| He Says He loves me!! SOS
Posted: 5/27/2008 9:19:07 PM | Hi Poeticbliss,
Ya, I'd be very concerned. You haven't met in person and that could change EVERYTHING! To answer... no it's not normal behavior.
I had a similar situation some time back.. and when we met in person there was -0- chemistry. It actually hurt me to tell him it wasn't going to work and he wrote me hate mail for a week. Kind of let me know who he REALLY was then!
Please be careful  | |
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| He Says He loves me!! SOS
Posted: 5/27/2008 9:24:31 PM | Yeah-- thats how I would feel too! I would feel terrible if there was no chemistry and
I had to tell him that. I would feel just awful but I have been honest and told him I think its way too soon to say that and that we need to meet first and get to know each other-- why all the hurry on his side has me confused...maybe he's just passionate and rash or who knows... maybe too romantic for his own good ... lol-- the "in-love with love" type of guy. | |
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| He Says He loves me!! SOS
Posted: 5/27/2008 9:33:01 PM | I'd be very concerned about another aspect here. There are so many scams going on that don't be surprised if he tells you next that he needs money to get to wherever the meet is supposed to be. Be careful because the scammer/spammers are very smooth and I've dealt with a few of them who are quick to go on Yahoo messenger especially and most profess their love immediately.
Aside from that, I'd hope he doesn't read your other thread or he'll think your excuse to him isn't a fair one.  | |
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| He Says He loves me!! SOS
Posted: 5/27/2008 9:37:20 PM |
"in-love with love" type of guy. This sounds closer to the truth though.
If it's ringing alarm bells for you.. take it slow. I agree - why the rush?
Sounds like you've got things straight. It could swing either way. You meet and he's fantastic and he was just wearing his heart on his sleeve... or he's a wacko lol Meet in PUBLIC with lots of people and take alternate routes home until you know for sure! | |
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| He Says He loves me!! SOS
Posted: 5/27/2008 9:39:07 PM | LOL unzipped passion.. its ok, he's not on this site.
I am very concerned as well about scammers ... he is from a middle-eastern background but he says he has dual citizenship with England and the US so I am not entirely sure
and nervous about the whole scenario to begin with-- but I would feel terrible if I were to dump him for reasons of suspicion and not for what is the ultimate truth... so I have allowed myself some time to explore and learn about him... but its definately getting IFFY with the fast I love you proclamations and youre right I am thinking about potential scamming situations... | |
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| He Says He loves me!! SOS
Posted: 5/27/2008 9:39:52 PM |
Be careful because the scammer/spammers are very smooth and I've dealt with a few of them who are quick to go on Yahoo messenger especially and most profess their love immediately.
Oh gosh you are right! But the one's that I've had have all been in Africa or Europe and of course they just KNOW I'm the "ONE" . lol I haven't met anyone local. Goody for me I suppose! | |
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| He Says He loves me!! SOS
Posted: 5/27/2008 9:43:20 PM | Oh gees-- Africa and Europe???? Yikes!
That would make you even more nervous!Well this one says he lives in Pennsylvania and owns a house here ... so that at least
gives me some sense of security ... I dunno-- I may just dump him here pretty soon... I'm just not certain AT ALL ... | |
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| He Says He loves me!! SOS
Posted: 5/27/2008 9:57:21 PM | Can you say "Scammer"? These guys are just out for money or your bank account info. They are all divorced or widowed. They are usually engineers of some sort (the two who have contacted me were 1) Structural Engineer (supposedly lived in Tacoma, WA and was born in Italy with dual citizenship) who had to travel to Nigeria for a bridge he designed; 2) Chemical Engineer (supposedly lived in Beverly Hills and had Bosnian, English and American citizenship) who had to travel to an oil rig off the coast of Holland.
They will tell you they love you and want to marry you and treat you like a queen. God has brought you two together and as soon as they get back from wherever they have had to go for work, they will sweep you off your feet. Then you get an IM saying that something unexpected has happened and could you either send them money or would you give them your bank account info so their financial person could transfer funds. DO NOT send them anything or give them any info.
These guys(?) are professionals and have their stories down to a tee. I even had one pretend to call me from the oil rig on my birthday because he loved me so much. He was supposedly born in Bosnia but didn't know how to write in Bosnian. Big giveaway! Find little ways to trip him up. Like what time is it there where you are? What's the weather like now? If he's foreign, ask him how do you say "I miss you so much in such-and-such?" How do you write "I miss you so much in such-and-such?"
If you have met them on POF, report them to admin. and they will delete their profiles. Good luck and if he seems too good to be real, he probably isn't. | |
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| He Says He loves me!! SOS
Posted: 5/27/2008 10:06:43 PM | PB, the one I talked to was from another well known dating site and moved quickly to Yahoo messenger. He was in Nigeria doing mining but had a house in Maine and couldn't wait to get here to share it with me.. He LOVED me almost immediately  but hey...we all know I'm lovable..
I was totally leary of this guy from the get go and actually baited him to report him. First he said he'd be home in a month. Then, he needed money because he was short due to the fact that he couldn't wait to see me and wanted to come home sooner. When I refused and said..."well, you waited this long you can wait an additional few weeks"...he came back with a story about really being ill and needing some important tests done and didn't have the full amt of money.......which of course if I sent him he'd sign his house here in Maine over to me. LMAO.
I had him send me the address he needed the 300. sent to. It was to be wired western union to a bank in Nigeria. I then Googled the whole scam thing out and reported it with the address. I'm telling you that you have to careful because they know what they're doing. This guy used a very very very hot pic too.
Don't give out your real name, number or address to anyone or they'll keep coming at you from all angles especially trying the sympathy route. I just got an email yesterday with almost the same plea!
That may not be what's happening to you, but I'd be careful whenever you hear Nigeria, Africa...and the word mining!!! | |
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vro312
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Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 12 | |
| He Says He loves me!! SOS
Posted: 5/27/2008 10:08:19 PM | Scammer scenario aside--though that does sound possible--it's just cu-reeeeeepy to tell someone you love them before meeting them. I even think it's a little suffocating to say it too soon *after* meeting them.
Last fall I went out with a guy who I'd met and hung out with a few times in a group activity. On the third (3rd!) date, he told me he loved me. I'm not the type of person who handles things like that very well. I freaked. Even if it were true, I did not understand *his* not understanding that such a profession might act as a repellant. To me, it just seems a little clueless to say something like that without gauging how it might be received. And in your situation, how does he know he'll be attracted to *you* when he meets you? Without the attraction, you can pretty much forget the love.
But the other posters are right . . . this really does sound like one of those scams. | |
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| He Says He loves me!! SOS
Posted: 5/27/2008 10:21:01 PM | Sweetheart, as a good kiwi male living in Vegas, all I can say to you is : What do your instincts tell you??? Have you stopped listening altogether?? Furthermore twits like that make it all the more difficult for blokes like me.
But You know you have already made the decision, the other posts just confirm it....
Be resolute and independant, a far more attractive quality for a woman to have.
Definately a scam, c`mon you can do it, you lived prior to corresponding with this person, you will continue to live afterwards. | |
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| He Says He loves me!! SOS
Posted: 5/27/2008 10:40:35 PM | SAY, HELLO THESE ARE SCAMS PLAIN AND SIMPLE. GET TO THE TRUTH RIGHT NOW LADIES
Me-
I lost count of the women who said they just feel in love with me imediatly. In reality these could just as easily be men, I don't know. They even pose as Christians. They go to Yahoo immediatly. So they can bug you at any hour. Heres what they are about:
1). They use hyjacked profiles stating us residence. 2. They opperate in north africa. 3. They want a.) Your money, b.)Your address, c.)Ask you to set up bank accounts so they can put money in for you and them. They ask you to use paypal. These are joint scam syndications laundering money. The opperate in Berkely, New York, The UK, and north Africa. Last but not least these people are after your identity. You don't want these people to know your real name. Your real address. People go missing and this is a fact. Do this:
A. Report them as scam
B. Block them.
C. Change your number
Get rid of this **stard
-michael | |
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| He Says He loves me!! SOS
Posted: 5/27/2008 10:42:58 PM | OP, do I have a story to tell you! And knock on wood, I am glad I was very cautious.
Whatever happens, I will never regret that I followed my instinct.
This guy is the only online friend I have ever dated. We are friends to this day. I met him after three months and mostly because we are both very busy people. But before we met, he told me me he loved me and even asked me to marry him. He is Caucasian from Canada and obviously not interested in my citizenship. ;) But when we met, the tingle was there as in online. We felt we have known each other for a long time. No nervousness when we first met. I just depended on my instinct and I think he is an upgrade of my online impression of him. And the feeling seems to be mutual. Whatever he told me is true. But unfortunately, I am not ready to commit though he has continiously impressed on me that he is into long term and ready for marriage. He says he does not want to grow old alone. And yes, to this day, he tells me he loves me!
As I said, everything he told me added up. He moved to Toronto this year, never married, but with a toddler. I have allowed him to meet some of my friends. We have become good friends.
Anyway, there was an online guy who was contacting me and I did not know how he got my addy. He was from Africa, Europe wherever! He also kept on telling me that he loved me. He sent emails right and left. Then he told me he wanted to go back to the States after attending the funeral of his dad but needed an extra $500. Could I send him. I said sorry, I don't do such things. But he said he wanted to marry me. I said, but I live in Canada and I am not interested in marriage. lol That was definitely a scam!
I have befriended some guys who were scammed by beautiful ladies from Europe. One guy said he spent $15,000 to bring the girl here from Italy and she never came. One was also scammed by a girl from Russia who had a sick mother. He spent for her hospitalization. One was actually scammed right here in Toronto by someone who wanted a provider or someone to marry her so she could stay here. Be very careful. | |
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| He Says He loves me!! SOS
Posted: 5/27/2008 10:59:23 PM | Wow OP, you really know how to attract them.
I just got done reading your other post talking about the booty call ex and now this one?
There seems to be a pattern here. You attract guys who know that telling you what you want to hear gets what they want from you. This guy is doing the same thing. Yes he is saying it quicker than you would like but the romanticism of it is still something that catches your attention and gains your attraction which gets what he and others like him and your ex will want when that time comes.
This is probably not the advice you want to hear but, you are attracting these guys. You need to figure out what you need to do to stop attracting these guys unless you want every guy doing this to you like pushing buttons on a computer.
Yes this guy may be a scam but those people prey on people like you where they will believe any BS they hand to them as long as they say it the way you want to hear it and push your buttons. Just make sure you leave your checkbook at home if you meet this guy. | |
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| He Says He loves me!! SOS
Posted: 5/28/2008 3:41:12 AM | Thanks UniqueMainSocal Actually I'm pretty close to dumping them both and moving on... UNLESS the EX comes up with an extremely good excuse as to why he did what he did... which, so far doesnt seem to his pattern...
Yeah-- I do come up with some lousy choices-- but I dont think I'm attracting ALL jerks... I just am having a hard time finding the right one. | |
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| He Says He loves me!! SOS
Posted: 5/28/2008 4:16:42 AM | | Hi Poeticbliss, I just read your profile and I noticed one part that says "Looking for a boyfriend with potential for marriage" Unfortunately maybe all these losers are picking up on that. Just be careful and don't give anyone online any personal information. | |
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| He Says He loves me!! SOS
Posted: 5/28/2008 5:38:13 AM | OP You said his mother lives close by to you. Did you get a name and address of this woman? Or his name and address as you say he lives 20 min from you.
He may be just who he says he is, and very very lonely. That in itself is a red flag unless your into needy men.
I realize there are lots of scammers on here but if this man interests you try to get some info on his local activites. Where he goes when hes home etc. If he names some places that are local but not big worldwide names then he may very well be local. Get the name of the company he works for etc etc etc'
And by the way.....I hope you didnt give him any personal info including your last name. I never give that out before the first meet. Just tell him you want to meet for coffee when he is home and dont want to take anything furthur on line and see how he reacts to that.
Good Luck.............. | |
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| He Says He loves me!! SOS
Posted: 5/28/2008 6:26:08 AM | It is a scam pure & simple... have been approached by too many to count myself on yahoo with similar scenarios but it will all come back around to the $$...I'm beginning to think yahoo is breeding them as well as the lottery administrators... I go along with them til the bait & switch comes up then sing my much, much sadder story & ask that $$ be sent to me at such & such post office & damned if they don't disappear like a puff of smoke on the wind...lol... go figure...
He's just waiting to see if you take the bait so why don't you test it & let him think you are falling hook, line & sinker for him then see when this goes from there... just keep you heart guarded & your pocketbook closed & you'll be fine while you see the real him ... if the scammer shows up, then you can dump him quick & in a hurry but should he be for real, you've lost nothing but gained something you guys can laugh about in your old age....
cata | |
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| He Says He loves me!! SOS
Posted: 5/28/2008 7:18:00 AM | This is why I don't even fire up my chat programs anymore. It's mostly all players, scammers, and married men looking for side action. These idiots prey on lonely women.
And like another poster said, I also read your other post about the creep who got first date sex and never bothered to call you back afterwards.
Contrary to popular belief here in the forums, I still believe there are plenty of men who lose respect for a woman who has sex with them on the first date. I happen to know a lot of men who've told me they'd never pursue a serious relationship with a woman who'd have sex with them on the first date because they assume she's probably doing it on alot of first dates. Hey, it is what it is, I'm just repeating what I've been told.
In either event, both of these losers sound like a complete waste of time. | |
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| He Says He loves me!! SOS
Posted: 5/28/2008 7:28:32 AM | Jersey girl-- thanks for the advice and suggestions; I am heading towards the idea that
both of these guys are complete losses .. however, there are so many threads on here about first date sex and how lots of long term relationships got started that way and how MANY men post that sex on the first date, if the person is right for them, doesnt deter a relationship- so I think it has more to do with a case by case basis-- how each person reacts and what each person's agendas and goals are. Still... I dont usually have sex on a first date-- I usually at least wait till the second or third... if I'm not interested by then, I figure their is no chemistry and try to walk out with a friendship in tact at least. | |
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| He Says He loves me!! SOS
Posted: 5/28/2008 7:30:07 AM | Hi Michael,
This guy says he's a Christian and goes to the local church... he says he lives in Milton, Pa which is near my hometown ... by about 30 miles.
I think I may play it out just a short bit more and then run... lol | |
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| He Says He loves me!! SOS
Posted: 5/28/2008 8:23:44 AM | | He doesn't love you. He loves some idea he has in his head of you. Until you meet in person. All this is an illusion. So be careful of those who profess their love this soon. | |
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