| Just eat me already!
Posted: 5/29/2008 4:54:03 AM | So, I've been seeing this guy for about 3 months and things are starting to get serious. I'm very attracted to him, and I think I might love him. There's just a few problems. One, he wont go down on me! Please do not bring up the heigene thing, because that is not an issue here. I keep everything clean down there and shaved smooth. I've given him blow job after blowjob and me, I get nothing!
The other night we were on my couch, him lying down and me sitting on the edge near his feet, and he actually unzipped his pants and ASKED me to go down on him! He said, "He wants some oral" motioning towards his member, then I replied, "Don't we all". He just zipped back up and said nothing. And just sat there watching TV.
What gives with this guy? Should I dump him? Would you stay with someone who expected to only receive oral and not give? | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 5/29/2008 4:57:15 AM | If you think this will get better over time, you're fooling yourself. If oral is that important to you, find another fish. This one sounds selfish in the oral department.
Lazy lovers are a dime a dozen. Caring ones, rare and hard to find.
ETA: This guy flat out shut you down when you tried to bring it up (not so subtle either). Zipped his pants and watched TV? The guy sounds like he has issues. Like if he has to reciprocate, then all deals off?
There is just too much gas in my car for that noise.
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 5/29/2008 5:04:17 AM | I have never been with a guy who didnt also love to give oral , but then I love giving it also ..
WHen you said dont we all , he maybe still didnt clue in just out and out say .. Yea I love giving head now and again but it would be nice if you did also .. He will either say he dont like too or knock your socks off who knows.
If your like some women its the only way you can orgasm , then its time to move on I suppose because eventually you will be even more frustrated with him . | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 5/29/2008 5:13:23 AM |
The other night we were on my couch, him lying down and me sitting on the edge near his feet, and he actually unzipped his pants and ASKED me to go down on him! He said, "He wants some oral" motioning towards his member, then I replied, "Don't we all". He just zipped back up and said nothing. And just sat there watching TV.
Oh, wow. Dang, I'm kinda stunned here! Whatever this is, it runs deep.
It's really hard for me to help you because I don't think either action is effective. I don't think you should cut him off (from the bj's) and I don't think his expectation is cool, either. And I don't think this can be fixed as is because even if he comes around and starts to give a lil, you'll know that he's not really into it...could you enjoy that?
Has he ever talked about why he doesn't care for it? | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 5/29/2008 5:15:32 AM | I've NEVER understood guys who aren't into oral or pleasing their partner. Don't they realize the more you please them, the more the woman will want to please you?? If my partner isn't having a great time, then I'm not either.
However, if the OP finds the person her profile says she is looking for... I don't think this issue would be a problem! 
As for this guy, I'm not sure a selfish and uncaring lover can change, but you'll just have to talk about it with him. If he's worth anything he'll openly discuss it and care about your feelings. If not, then back in the pond he goes... | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 5/29/2008 5:24:22 AM | | Hey OP, Dump this guy. Is he selfish, uncaring or just stupid? Regardless, there are plemty of other caring fishies out there who CARE about pleasuring their partner. | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 5/29/2008 5:30:12 AM |
then I replied, "Don't we all". He just zipped back up and said nothing. And just sat there watching TV.
I really think this says it all --- you let him know you'd enjoy some oral ,too,but he doesn't want to reciprocate & instead zips up & says zilch.......? !
Sounds very uncaring to me...just in it for himself & what pleasure HE can get....................
Move on,Op -- you deserve better, | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 5/29/2008 5:44:22 AM |
What gives with this guy? Should I dump him? Would you stay with someone who expected to only receive oral and not give?
Yes, you should dump him. | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 5/29/2008 5:46:51 AM | If I was in your shoes...........................it wouldn't take a lot of persuasion for me to move on. He obviously sounds like a very selfish kind of guy. Besides, there's and huge amount of other fish in the pond | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 5/29/2008 5:53:39 AM | Sounds to me like he is really selfish, you need to discuss this with him, i find it hard to believe he wont do this, oh my, i enjoy giving as much as i enjoy getting..
If he won't do this and you need this as a part of a realtionship, you should look for another fish..there are plaenty of us out here that would glady reciprocate with a smile. | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 5/29/2008 5:55:29 AM | | Pretty obvious its not just his lack of wanting to please you-this guy is selfish and severely lacking in communication skills. That in itself is enough reason to find someone else. | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 5/29/2008 6:16:03 AM | I'm kind of surprised at all the dump him comments. . . Not everybody has the same preferences. Let me ask you this - if the roles were reversed, you didn't like bj's - would you expect him to dump you? There are PLENTY of ways to please and be pleased. I don't see why one aspect would necessarily be a deal breaker - if everything else was good. Some people have had bad experiences (men and women) - so maybe one 'don't we all' comment is not clear enough communication. If it is that important to you, might I suggest an open conversation (over dinner maybe?) about sexual preferences. If you can't talk about it, you probably shouldn't be expecting it. . JMHO. | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 5/29/2008 6:17:19 AM | | Damn shame. I'd throw ya down and gnosh like it was my last meal. Hell, I might even tie ya down just so you can't get away. | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 5/29/2008 6:21:03 AM | | My ex was just like that!! even after 2 years together it didnt get better.. i think its fair enough he may not like doing it, but if your doing it for him, you should get it back. next time you give him a blow job, tell him to go down on you! tell him! dont ask., if he doesnt, tell him he wont be getting anymore bjs till he does. if that doesnt solve it then id finish it now and find someone who is less selfish, before you really fall for him. | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 5/29/2008 6:30:32 AM | Did you ever bother to sit down and discuss why he doesnt like to give oral. Maybe he never has and doesnt want to look inexperienced.
Be kind and talk to him if you are compatible in all other aspects of the relationship.
Dont throw the baby out with the bathwater......................there are more imortant things | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 5/29/2008 6:33:47 AM | !The other night we were on my couch, him lying down and me sitting on the edge near his feet, and he actually unzipped his pants and ASKED me to go down on him! He said, "He wants some oral" motioning towards his member, then I replied, "Don't we all". He just zipped back up and said nothing. And just sat there watching TV.'
lol that's great answer...lol
i had a similar problem with my ex as well, i had to do all the work and all the pleasing and got nothing in return. this kinda person is fundamentally selfish.. i don't even kno why ur still with him. | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 5/29/2008 7:04:37 AM | | I won't do it either, but I don't expect any partner to do it. If he wants some he has to be willing to reciprocate. | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 5/29/2008 7:12:52 AM | Talk to him about it. Ask him why he doesn't want to. Maybe he had a horrible experience doing it one time and can't get it out of his head. I know that happened to me one time, and I doubt I ever do it again. I never threw up so much in one night, and don't plan on doing it again. I'd tell you all about it, but I'll get sick again if I think about it too much.
Anyway, I think it's wrong of him to expect blowjobs but not give you something in return. The only way it'd be excpetable is if he let you know from the very get go that he didn't do that.
As far as dumping him, I'm not with everyone on this. When looking at the broad scope of things, it's awful stupid to be dumping someone for the soul fact that they don't do one inparticular sexual gratification. | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 5/29/2008 7:19:31 AM |
I won't do it either, but I don't expect any partner to do it.
Well, unless she's a contortionist... no. | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 5/29/2008 7:24:00 AM |
The other night we were on my couch, him lying down and me sitting on the edge near his feet, and he actually unzipped his pants and ASKED me to go down on him! He said, "He wants some oral" motioning towards his member, then I replied, "Don't we all". He just zipped back up and said nothing. And just sat there watching TV.
He knew EACTLY what you meant with your comment. That is why he zipped up and decided to pout because he did not want to reciprocate. There are lots of men out there who do not enjoy giving oral and im betting he is one of them. That was his way of telling you right there that he doesnt like it.
Majority of us women cannot O without receiving oral so really, its your call on whether or not you can remain in a relationship where you arent being sexually fullfulled. If it was me in your situation,,,,id say adios. | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 5/29/2008 7:55:38 AM | | Maybe he never has & just doesn't know how to go about it? | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 5/29/2008 7:59:36 AM | Ask him if he is into giving oral to his lady. We can't all assume everyone likes giving and receiving.
Now the question is "Are you willing to stay with him if he is NOT into it?" | |
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Gators
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Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 24 | |
| Just eat me already!
Posted: 5/29/2008 7:59:40 AM | op ...
If you have strong feelings for him , take the time to talk about it . Tell him how you feel and why it's important to you . If he is into you as well , he will or should give in ... if not ..
Dump him hard ... becuase there are wayyy to many of us good men left out there that find breathing through our ears to make a woman smile part of what makes a relationship work ... | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 5/29/2008 8:09:30 AM | OP, I guess you have to decide if overall, the oral is that important to you. Could he rub you and use his fingers to bring you relief that way? Have you tried talking to him about it (besides the hint the other night) ?
I could count the time on two hands that the ex b/f went down over a year's time, yet he wanted it every single time. Eventhough he didn't do oral so much, he was talented with his hands & fingers and that made up for it (almost).
Is he selfish in other aspects of his life? Is he controlling? Is he someone that you can see being with 20 years down the road? Just questions to ask yourself.
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