| The sex lasts too long....he doesn't like to be rushed? He's wearing me out!
Posted: 5/29/2008 12:28:46 PM | Yes, I know I am horrible, and a whiny complainer, but here's the situation...
I have a new FWB. We are about a month into the "relationship" now. He is really a very nice guy. He's tall, has a nice body, and beautiful teeth! lol He is honestly, not the most handsome guy, but decently attractive and very intelligent. He is just a little younger than me; 30 years old. We met at Starbucks and hit it off, we exchanged phone numbers, talked some on the phone, started texting each other during the day every so often, we sometimes get on Yahoo IM at night and chat about our day, and recently took it to the next level which was sex. He lives like 3 miles away from me and he actually works from home (IT work) so it's very convienent for both of us to see each other. He is usually free whenever I want him...lol....so it's great. He is absolutely the most amazing kisser I have ever encountered.
Here's the "problem"...
Every time we have sex it is like a 3 hour event...with breaks of course. No, not joking! He has a very quick recovery period and then he wants to do it again. We might start out slow with kissing and caressing or we might just get right down to it (always me that wants that!) So either way the sex itself goes on for maybe 20-30 minutes or longer and we might change positions or not, just depends. So then we are done and I am always well satisfied...always. We usually talk and laugh a little or just relax for a while, lying close to each other. Then he will eventually move closer or pull me closer and start kissing me. He will be hard again in under two minutes and wanting to be inside me again. Sometimes I say yes, sometimes I have him lay back and I will go down on him until he orgasms...takes him about 10 minutes that way, usually.
The foreplay is always incredible leading up to round two or 3 or 4 so do not get me wrong...it is not that at all. The last time we were together I swear we rolled around just kissing each other for about 15 minutes before he even touched me in any other way on round two.
The problem is...he wears me out! Never, never, never have I been with a man who has so much stamina. We have talked about it and he says he always has been this way. I have also told him that sometimes a really hot quickie is fun, but he says that he likes to take his time and not be rushed. Let me also clarify that when we are having these 20-30 minutes sex sessions it is not always slow and easy lots of times it is hard and fast sex with some very dirty talk, hair pulling, back scratching,etc., but he just goes and goes and goes. I mean, a round 2 is always fun, and I have even experienced a round 3 before, but 4....5....6?
So, I have actually started limiting the nights he can come over if there is going to be sex involved. This started last week when we both wanted to get together but I wasn't going to be back in town until about 9 p.m. He came over about 9:20 and I finally said, "NO, no more" and literally pushed him out of bed around 1 a.m. when he started touching me again.... I had to be up at 6 for work. I was exhausted when he left and fell asleep immediately, not to mention all the times I have been a little "sore" the next day!
He is coming over again tonight, but I have not seen him all week because I have been really busy with work and some events like my company picnic and really needed my sleep! I know it sounds hilarious, and I would have sworn to you I would never be saying a man is giving me too much of a good thing, but here I am.
Anyone ever had this problem? I would love to have sex with him 2-3 times a week, or more, but he literally just exhausts me physically. | |
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| The sex lasts too long....he doesn't like to be rushed? He's wearing me out!
Posted: 5/29/2008 12:36:55 PM | | I have run into this. It's funny because you never think you would complain about it but everyonce in a while you run into someone like that. I've had to say "I love being with you but I love walking the next day to so take it easy on me next time". It's hilarious because I'm normally the one who wants to go again right away several times. I used to say a man could never wear me out, then I found this one and he proved me wrong. It's weird because it's the one problem I never thought I would have. | |
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| The sex lasts too long....he doesn't like to be rushed? He's wearing me out!
Posted: 5/29/2008 12:37:01 PM | Hunny I am sorry but...I don't seem to be understanding your point?
Seriously though? Maybe becuz this relationship is so very new sex lasts that long? Then again, not all people's drives are the same. I could suggest starting earlier in the evening so you can rest up for work the next day? | |
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| The sex lasts too long....he doesn't like to be rushed? He's wearing me out!
Posted: 5/29/2008 12:41:30 PM | Wow. I can see where this would be a problem. I had an ex-hubby that was this way. He was never satisfied with quickies or BJ's. Had to be the whole kit and kaboodle all the time.
Since he's a FWB, I think the best thing you can do is to limit your time with him to a couple times a week when you have time to devote to the matters at hand. This is what you're already doing, so just keep doing it. If he's always been this way, he's probably not going to change. If you continue to try to keep up all the time, it will become more of a chore than a pleasure for you.
Good Luck,
Krys
(Hi ya chickie! - good to see you again) | |
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| The sex lasts too long....he doesn't like to be rushed? He's wearing me out!
Posted: 5/29/2008 12:50:42 PM | My ex-husband was like this and so was my last boyfriend. With both guys it just got so annoying that sex became a major issue in our relationship that eventually led to being part of the reasons for us breaking up.
When sex feels like work it isn't a good experience anymore. When my partner can't understand that he isn't a good partner anymore. It gets to the point where you either can't be around him or you can't get in any way physical because then they just won't leave you alone. It doesn't make for a good relationship.
If he's just a FWB that's a little different. You can just pick and choose the times but even then you shouldn't have to throw someone out of your room or house because they can't control themselves.
Another idea would be to have sex at his place and leave when you're done! | |
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| The sex lasts too long....he doesn't like to be rushed? He's wearing me out!
Posted: 5/29/2008 12:58:37 PM | He's never really pushy about the sex, but he tells me and shows me that he wants me over and over again. I have watched him just jerk off when I have said No before, so he doesn't push the issue; just tries to persuade me. So, he can control himself. He is really wonderful in every other way. He massages my entire body, kisses me from head to toe...it's basically all good....just too much...
I like him coming to my house because I can go to sleep when we are done! LOL
Also his younger brother who is graduating from college this weekend is rooming with him until July when he will be moving for his new job. We could go to his house, but it might be a little embarrassing for his brother because I tend to get loud! | |
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| The sex lasts too long....he doesn't like to be rushed? He's wearing me out!
Posted: 5/29/2008 3:01:08 PM | | I could go for hours and hours. But the reality is that if that is the only thing that one can do, it gets old eventually. So tell him that variety is the spice of life. Have a quicky. Go down on each other and then stop. Do different things. For instance me and my gf some weeks have sex twice a day. Then other weeks, take our time, not have sex for days. Is it perfect? No, but by adding things makes it something to look forward to. So tell him you need variety, otherwise a good thing even becomes boring. | |
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| The sex lasts too long....he doesn't like to be rushed? He's wearing me out!
Posted: 5/29/2008 3:51:53 PM | OMG are you for real? I'm serious, just take your sexually satisfied self and your full of stamina man and be happy that you got it girl. Do you EVEN know how luck you are??? Think about it this way, there are tons of women who aren't getting any at all and when they do, they can't get their man to stay awake after round one, so i'm sorry if you don't see me all concerned for ya. I can't even break out my tiny violins on this one. Life is short and one day your body isn't gonna let you do the things it once did, so take advantage of this now and get it while you got it.
Shoot, i'd handcuff him to the bed. FWB, oh h.ell no, that man would be mine for life.
My only suggestion to you, eat your wheaties and protein shakes and then take it like a woman.
Got a headache from shaking my head on this one!!!  | |
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| The sex lasts too long....he doesn't like to be rushed? He's wearing me out!
Posted: 5/29/2008 4:05:23 PM | | Yeah def a problem I have as well... Yes it is a problem.. A lot of times when your have intercourse for so long, the woman that your with a lot of times can't have sex the next day or barley walk for that matter. You FWB may be getting help and not even know it... Because that is what happend to me. You mentioned that he has a nice body.. Find out if its natrual or if he likes to hit the gym and ask if he takes any supliments. When I was take'n a nutrition class my professer told us to bring in any suppliments that we take. When I showed her my suppliment she read the bottle chuckled and ask what do I take it for. My reply was that its helps with my weight lifting. She then told me one of the ingridents in the pills I was taking was used to help guys that had problems becomomg erect. Umm yeah that was embarrasing LOL..So if you combine that with somebody thats in good health.. Yeah you could be looking at a sex marathon. I love it, but I've found that most women I've come across can only take so much and then they wave the white flag.. | |
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| The sex lasts too long....he doesn't like to be rushed? He's wearing me out!
Posted: 5/29/2008 4:14:14 PM | I have a new FWB. We are about a month into the "relationship" now
Ironically, in your profile, you've blocked those seeking intimate encounters.
I know it sounds hilarious, and I would have sworn to you I would never be saying a man is giving me too much of a good thing, but here I am
I think your complaint is more common than you may think.
He is honestly, not the most handsome guy,
I've heard, "The uglier the face... the better the sex." LOL!!
That would make for a nice field study.... or POF event - lol!
I would love to have sex with him 2-3 times a week, or more, but he literally just exhausts me physically.
Rather than focus on his performance, focus on your contentment... apparently, he fails to keep you happy (regardless of the reason). Instead, he tires you and deprives you from sleep. I'd be willing to bet while you are sufferring at your workplace he is sleeping it off in his "Home office".
I have also told him that sometimes a really hot quickie is fun, but he says that he likes to take his time and not be rushed
What you are stating (in my opinion) is that he is a selfish horndog who doesn't have a secular place of employment (can sleep in).... deprives you the rest you need for secular performance.... he seeks to satisfy his urges while ignoring yours (quickies).... leaves you sore...... you need to give him a bj to keep him off you.
What's so great about that?
Isn't that degrading?
Isn't he a selfish lover?
Why would you keep a selfish lover around?
Find someone you are compatible with.
edit: I just read the "jerking off" statement.... you describe someone close to being considered a closet sex addict (maybe a sex offender as well). Some signs of abnormality seem to be present. | |
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| The sex lasts too long....he doesn't like to be rushed? He's wearing me out!
Posted: 5/29/2008 4:31:07 PM | It's not as uncommon as you would think. I had an ex who could go for hours... blarg. Walking is a lovely thing, ain' t it? It's taken for granted all too often, lol.
If you don't already do kegels, start doing them on a daily basis. It tightens everything up and teaches you muscle control. Then, learn to clench and release continuously during intercourse. That seems to wrap things up a lot faster. | |
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| The sex lasts too long....he doesn't like to be rushed? He's wearing me out!
Posted: 5/29/2008 5:04:12 PM | You are not getting the sleep you need and want because he is bothering you to fulfill his needs. Masturbating next to you is disrespectful.
Just tell him no and set your bounderies and stick to them...if he respects you he will not whine, masturbate or get angry. If he has to leave let him.
You are not his personal blow-up doll. | |
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| The sex lasts too long....he doesn't like to be rushed? He's wearing me out!
Posted: 5/29/2008 5:14:23 PM | LOL..too much of a good thing...can suddenly become a BAD thing. There was a point in my life where I could keep up with the best of them, but with age....work demands..family...my sex drive, while still quite high, is happily satisfied by quality sexual intercourse rather than quantity of sexual intercourse. I have met a few men who had a lot of sexual stamina...but too much of the same ol same ol is as boring as just laying there and letting em do their thang.
The irony is...we can b!tch about too much sex, but if you weren't getting any, you'd be just as inclined to b!tch about that. As one poster said...eat yer wheaties, and get lot's of rest. Sexual compatibility is hard to find...just make it work or put the kitty on ice after he leaves.  | |
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| The sex lasts too long....he doesn't like to be rushed? He's wearing me out!
Posted: 5/29/2008 5:17:07 PM |
He's almost certainly getting a little pharmaceutical help. Tell him to lay off the Viagra.
For some of us, if the lady we're with is engaging us on several levels - pharma help is just not required. I just don't have the stamina to go full bore for an hour non-stop, but if she likes it on top - completely different story :) | |
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| The sex lasts too long....he doesn't like to be rushed? He's wearing me out!
Posted: 5/29/2008 5:17:39 PM | | I dated a guy like that - hhhmmmm sweet!! He was incredible! I was insatiable for him - so we were a good match in that way! I never saw a problem with the love making! I never wore out! What I did see a problem with was - that's all there was! No other form of relationship outside of that! Don't get me wrong - I adore the guy - he is awesome - but I don't think he was ever looking to settle down and I wanted to! Hopefully some lucky lady will end up with him and hopefully she can keep up and never get worn out!! | |
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