| How do women like to solve relationship problems?
Posted: 5/29/2008 1:25:11 PM | What are some of the problem solving techniques women like to use in a relationship and what do they like to see men do when solving problems? What do you really want to see from your man when confronting any kind relationship problem small or big?
I know for myself what I like to do, namely, talk very openly about a problem all the way to its solution or some point of reconciliation. I also think it's important to stay focused on what a problem is and to take each problem one at a time instead. I'm not so sure if women are as into the dialogue method though and so I would like to hear from some women on what they like to see. | |
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| How do women like to solve relationship problems?
Posted: 5/29/2008 1:35:02 PM | | I do like to talk about it... but more than anything I like action... if someone is sorry I expect them to act sorry and not repeat whatever they did to piss me off... Thats huge.. I can talk about something real rationally once or twice.. but after having the conversation three or four times it becomes clear to me that he doesnt give a shit - or it seems he only has the conversation to momentarily shut me up.. very irritating! So talk is good as long as action follows...Now there comes give and take like this.. its all situational I'm just generalizing... I would just like action.. If you miss me come and see me... if you're sorry be sorry, send me flowers, hug me, take me to dinner.. don't just talk about it!.... Sometimes I like to agree to disagree.. haha I am stubborn... | |
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| How do women like to solve relationship problems?
Posted: 5/29/2008 1:35:34 PM | I agree with you.
Open, frank discussions and staying focused on the main topic. What I have difficulty with is when people throw things in that happened in the past that I thought were resolved.... or when something needs to be discussed and they avoid it.
If there is a cooling down period needed, I can definitely appreciate that.... but things need to be discussed at some point.... putting ones head in the sand does not make the problem go away..... if anything, it makes it much worse as it festers.
Even if two people agree to disagree, it is much better than arguing and yelling or completely ignoring the issue.
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| How do women like to solve relationship problems?
Posted: 5/29/2008 1:51:06 PM | Open straight talk...like in a scenario at work..make it un-personal
But in my experience just ignoring him worked better....so in the end I used that...took a while to learn it though!
We were still doomed by that point!
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| How do women like to solve relationship problems?
Posted: 5/29/2008 7:35:18 PM | Communication. You have to talk about the situation and not ignore the problem. If you need some down time just say so. But, soon the problem needs to be discussed.
Even if two people don't see eye to eye, it will have been all put out on the table. | |
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| How do women like to solve relationship problems?
Posted: 5/29/2008 7:53:05 PM | *ncn* you have been hangin' around AskaChic for a long time now........haven't we taught you anything dear? Take notes. ~grins~ The silent treatment is Oh, sooo bad.
Edit: But we all know you CAN talk ..........a lot. | |
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| How do women like to solve relationship problems?
Posted: 5/29/2008 9:05:59 PM | Besides the lawyers (how my ex wanted to solve it), I swear some women MAKE problems just so they can "work thru them".
I came home. "You left the toilet seat up!!!!!" (in the guest bathroom no less, so the flushing would not wake the princess up at the early hour of 8am). Hilarity did not ensue.
3 hours of ****ing, where I basically said 40 words or less and she quoted the entire Oxnard Valley-Speak dictionary and the problem was "resolved".
I still have no idea what the resolution was.  | |
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| How do women like to solve relationship problems?
Posted: 5/29/2008 9:19:20 PM | Here's a great thread that addresses this issue.
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts10031937.aspx
I am always prepared to talk about the problem and try to find "middle ground"... not the compromise, in the usual sense of the word... as in no one is happy... but something rather different. Rune3 put it nicely in that other thread, so I will use her words here:
On the surface you may see compromise; beneath the surface it is about holding the heart of the other one tenderly in yours and taking care of the things that are important to them because you want to, not because you feel you should or to pacify them/keep them quiet.
It would never occur to me to argue about the toilet seat... Life's too short for that.
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| How do women like to solve relationship problems?
Posted: 5/29/2008 9:26:35 PM | Like everyone else has stated...communication.
If something is bothering I will air it. He can do whatever he wants with the info, use it, ignore it, etc...
But if it is something that really drives me crazy and he keeps doing it, then we may really have a problem on our hands and back to the drawing board. Honestly, in the past, I've always been able to talk it out or the relationship didn't last... | |
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| How do women like to solve relationship problems?
Posted: 5/29/2008 9:45:44 PM | Well.. I know one way is fighting.. They know we hate to fight.. So most guys just give in because frankly it is so much easier to give in than put up a fight. We will fight for something we feel is worth it though. Often times though we just give in because it is so much easier than fighting or arguing. So a lot of woman control guys this way. I call this "steam rolled". Almost all men will become steam rolled in one way or another because it is so much easier than the alternative.
It usually goes like this..
Her "Honey do you want to go to the mall with me?"
Him "No I'm going to watch the game. You go and have fun".
Her "Well you have been working so much I was kinda hoping you would spend some time with me"
Him "Well don't go to the mall and stay here and watch the game with me"
Her "I've been planning this for weeks. I told you about this yesterday"
Him "Oh.. I don't remember you telling me that"
Her "You never listen to me!, Don't you love me?"
Him "YES.. Why would you think that I don't"
Her "You never spend time with me!"
20 minutes later.. probably got worse..
So.. here is how it goes after being steam rolled.
her "Do you want to go to the mall with me?"
him "Sure.. I already have the car started and I'm cooling it down for you already. Let me know when you get done fixing your hair and I will lock up the house"
her "you are so wonderful.,
20 minutes later.....
him "Are you done fixing your hair?"
her "Yes but I had to do my makeup. I'll be ready in a minute"
him "Okay.. take your time honey.. " thinks to himself.. Gezz she takes forever. could of seen the whole first half already.
Steam rolled! Easy way for us.. Sucks.. but true. | |
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| How do women like to solve relationship problems?
Posted: 5/29/2008 9:55:54 PM | ^^You silly people and your relationships...I don't like the mall much and would rather just watch the game, but if you want to do separate things, can't you both just go off and do that and meet back later?
What's with dragging people places they don't want to go just because you're dating them?
^^^^ you mean like inlaws???? or family?? Does that count?
I avoid marriage, so for me inlaws aren't a problem - and sure, family can be one of them... | |
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| How do women like to solve relationship problems?
Posted: 5/30/2008 2:24:59 AM | | Good for you typewriterman :) It would be easy for me to say that I like to talk things out but in the heat of the moment it can be a way different scenario. I think it all depends on what the problem is. Open communication is a very important thing and if you leave an issue unresolved it will likely surface at a later time. Sometimes it's good to walk away, calm down and then talk. The makeup sex is great as well. | |
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| How do women like to solve relationship problems?
Posted: 5/30/2008 5:09:05 AM |
Dangit! Women like to talk...and here I always thought it was about the infamous "silent" treatment
ummm, that's one thing that i've always done in the past....keep quiet at first, let things cool down whether it takes a few hours or even a night then sit with your partner and calmly discuss things without raising the tone of your voice. if you're living together, if you go to bed with an argument on your mind and your partner is already sleeping, just remember to say "i love you" to your partner before falling to sleep....you never know what can happen throughout the night. if you're living in separate homes just remember that the following day is a new day...when you see your s.o. sit him/her down and calmly talk. i personally would say "i'm sorry about what happened with the argument yesterday but what's done is done and i would like to continue on with our relationship". let the person know how much you care about them and that (if guilty of causing the argument) what was done will not happen again (if innocent of causing the argument) you understand that everyone has their own way of doing things and you're still learning each others ways. | |
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