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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > My X-Wife hidden shady background.      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 RSF1970
Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 1
My X-Wife hidden shady background.Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I was married for one year. I met my now x-wife 3 years online. She told me she was married only one time. I found out after a year of being married she was married 3 or more times and had 2 sexual affairs when she was married of 2 of the marriages. She also had over 10 to 15 sexual partners or more she is only 36 and was married from ages 19 to 36. She would then get married to get divorce for money and force a divorce.

Now, I am finding out she is Bi-poler. She was my first love and my first marriage. Thank g-d we had no kids.

The best way to put this into words is. Her lifestyle is like Jenny in Forest Gump. She also lives out of her suitcase.

There is more to this story which would make for a great movie. But, I am not the best typist.

She state she never had an affair in our marriage. Which I have to say.. I hope she didn't. I have to look at the good things that came of this.. However, that will take time to to reveal it's self.

Life is one messed up roller coaster. It is a love-hate thing.
 wutznot2love
Joined: 11/16/2007
Msg: 2
My X-Wife hidden shady background.
Posted: 5/29/2008 6:24:20 PM
Very curious to know how you found all this very specific information out? How would anyone other than herself know how many sexual partners she had throughout those years????????????????????
 RSF1970
Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 3
My X-Wife hidden shady background.
Posted: 5/29/2008 6:29:50 PM
Well I found the number to her x-hubby he is 75 now and was about in his late 50s to early 60s when she got married to him at age 21. He was a very nice man and he has no reason to lie the man is now 75. He told me the whole story and she confirmed it . When I talked about what I found out about her. Before we split up.

Like I said there is a lot more to the story. Some of it I am not going to post online for privacy reasons on protection of the other hubbys and my ex-wife feelings. I am to nice of a man to expose all the details know matter how cruel she was to them or to me.
 Karrpilot
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 4
view profile
History
My X-Wife hidden shady background.
Posted: 5/29/2008 6:30:47 PM
I guess you should have googled her first.
 RSF1970
Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 5
My X-Wife hidden shady background.
Posted: 5/29/2008 6:41:53 PM
Since, she was married so many time she had a lot of name changes.
 eyesofdeepblue
Joined: 5/8/2008
Msg: 6
hmmmm
Posted: 5/29/2008 6:45:50 PM
OP -

She is your ex-wife which means your relationship is over. Her stories were woven with lies, she has issues. So what? You have no children together, so what impact does her lack of character have on you TODAY?

You shared that story and certainly elaborated quite a bit when painting her in a negative light.

"I am to nice of a man to expose all the details know matter how cruel she was to them or to me."

If you are looking for pity, you certainly will receive it, but not based on the relationship you had with your ex. This statement is disturbing. "Life is one messed up roller coaster. It is a love-hate thing." You may want to think about that statement and where it stems from.


Best wishes~
 RSF1970
Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 7
hmmmm
Posted: 5/29/2008 6:47:32 PM
I am not looking for any pity. I am not looking for anything. I am just telling my break up story. Nothing more.
 Pretty Warrior
Joined: 5/16/2008
Msg: 8
My X-Wife hidden shady background.
Posted: 5/29/2008 6:50:29 PM
I don't know your specifics and don't want to be judgmental, so with all due respect to you both: you have to decide if these are 1. things you can live with knowing, 2. all that important in the overall picture and 3. there are two sides to every relationship. Until you KNOW for a FACT those things are true, you must consider the source(s).
 JamesP166
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 9
view profile
History
My X-Wife hidden shady background.
Posted: 5/29/2008 7:02:38 PM
Run and forget about her - - - -

been in roller coaster relationship with a woman - - - never is any fun - - -

as for number of partners - - - - how important is that information- - - -
but if she is not faithful to her man and with all of the STD's I would worry

at the age of 20 marrying a 50 or 60 year old man - - says what she is after.
Money and not love - - - - and will sell her body for a relationship with money - -
not for love - - - -

Run - - and forget about her.

Jim P.
 RSF1970
Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 10
My X-Wife hidden shady background.
Posted: 5/29/2008 7:11:48 PM
Oh forgetting about her is the easy part. I hear you very loud and clear. I don't want her back at all. Just also want to show how mental illness hurt relationships as well.
 memoryman
Joined: 3/17/2007
Msg: 11
hmmmm indeed
Posted: 5/29/2008 7:17:02 PM
eyesofdeepblue, you have said it beautifully and , after reading your profile, I can see why.
Yours is certainly the clearest, most moving one I have read and I would be honored to exchange views with you, but your mail settings exclude me so I am doing it here. Can I email you?
Bill
 indehills
Joined: 2/23/2008
Msg: 12
hmmmm indeed
Posted: 5/29/2008 7:27:45 PM

The best way to put this into words is. Her lifestyle is like Jenny in Forest Gump.


My ex-wife is bi-polar. She cheated on me many times during our marriage (but I didn't find out until we divorced), and our marriage ended when she left me AND our son to go off with another man.

Funny thing is, her favorite movie is Forrest Gump
 wutznot2love
Joined: 11/16/2007
Msg: 13
hmmmm indeed
Posted: 5/29/2008 7:29:57 PM
I can understand where the OP is coming from. Whether they're an "ex" or not, it can still rock your world a bit to find out such huge secrets, it can open old wounds in some people, can even cause you to question your ability to judge someone's character, can cause you to feel stupid for not having known all the 'facts' prior to tying the knot, etc

I've been divorced since 94 (I left him, I am the one who filed for the divorce). He was abusive (such that the RCMP charged him) and a cheat. I had ended up forgiving him several years later - not to him directly (definitely no contact with him at all)......did it silently to myself, just for my own peace. I found out within the past few months that he had a child born in 93 (um, while we were married)......which means child was either conceived in 92 (we were married Aug 92), prior to our marriage or right after. It was a sucker-punch to learn this, even though I couldn't obviously care less about him.
 1samrap
Joined: 1/10/2008
Msg: 14
hmmmm indeed
Posted: 5/29/2008 7:31:42 PM
Its unfortunate you were burned in that relationship and as long as you don't dwell on it and have your own pity party you will survive and come out stronger for it.

However, I am puzzled regarding the intent of this post?

Good luck in your healing process, and hopefully you've learned a valuable lesson so as not to have a repeat performance in your next relationship.
 eyesofdeepblue
Joined: 5/8/2008
Msg: 15
the gift
Posted: 5/29/2008 9:02:57 PM
From Mayo Clinic and National Institute of Mental Health - "Bipolar disorder is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in a person’s mood, energy, and ability to function. Different from the normal ups and downs that everyone goes through, the symptoms of bipolar disorder are severe. They can result in damaged relationships, poor job or school performance, and even suicide. Bipolar disorder causes dramatic mood swings from overly "high" and/or irritable to sad and hopeless, and then back again, often with periods of normal mood in between. Severe changes in energy and behavior go along with these changes in mood. The periods of highs and lows are called episodes of mania and depression. In addition, some people with bipolar disorder have rapid cycling bipolar disorder. This is the occurrence of four or more mood swings within 12 months. These moods shifts can occur rapidly, sometimes within just hours. In mixed state bipolar disorder, symptoms of both mania and depression occur at the same time.

Severe episodes of either mania or depression may result in psychosis, or a detachment from reality. Symptoms of psychosis may include hearing or seeing things that aren't there (hallucinations) and false but strongly held beliefs (delusions). "

“I was married for one year. I met my now x-wife 3 years online. She told me she was married only one time. I found out after a year of being married she was married 3 or more times and had 2 sexual affairs when she was married of 2 of the marriages. She also had over 10 to 15 sexual partners or more she is only 36 and was married from ages 19 to 36. She would then get married to get divorce for money and force a divorce. Now, I am finding out she is Bi-poler. Just also want to show how mental illness hurt relationships as well. I am not looking for any pity. I am not looking for anything. I am just telling my break up story. Nothing more. “

OP - Taking into account what you just read, and allowing yourself to see your ex - wife through the eyes of compassion will help to reiterate that mental illness is nothing to take lightly. No matter where she may be, or who she may be with, her illness is something which will remain a constant in her life. No one could possibly know what internal demons she battles on a daily basis. No one could possibly know whether or not her ability to process a situation and respond appropriately is affected by her illness, although one could assume it would be quite difficult for her. While her condition must have had a tremendous impact on you at certain times during the course of your one year marriage, you can bring closure to those painful events and disappointments you experienced all by yourself, if and when you have the desire to do so. Doing so will give you much more space in your ‘present’ to enjoy the ‘present’ instead of dwelling on the past. Your ex- wife may never have that luxury.

If I could give anyone a gift at this very moment, I would give your ex the opportunity to see what it feels like to live a life without suffering.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 16
My X-Wife hidden shady background.
Posted: 5/30/2008 11:06:26 AM
we all know everyone on the internet tells the truth; you should talk to their family and friends and check things out. I'm so sick of people saying I'm bipolar, depressed, or whatever and I can do whatever I want crap. Both of these disorders are so over diagnosed in the U.S. its ridiculous.

This person is a mess. End of story, run away and be more careful next time.
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 17
hmmmm indeed
Posted: 5/30/2008 2:16:57 PM


Msg: 14 -- cause you to question your ability to judge someone's character, can cause you to feel stupid for not having known all the 'facts' prior to tying the knot, etc


I know that I have PERSONALLY called my judging ability into question in TOO MANY relationships. I am too trusting. I think this may be a bad thing. I am starting to believe that EXTREME cynicism is a necessity for emotional survival. If this is true, that is a SORRY state of affairs to be in.
 RSF1970
Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 18
the gift
Posted: 5/30/2008 3:03:25 PM
I would be happy to give that gift to her as well.
 normaly1949
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 19
view profile
History
the gift
Posted: 6/1/2008 8:21:30 PM
I am just astounded that women like this can get so many men to marry them.
 mosajo
Joined: 5/22/2008
Msg: 20
the gift
Posted: 6/1/2008 9:08:30 PM
Unfortunately one of the side effects of the drug called "love" is blindness...
 bournemouthman
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 21
hmmmm
Posted: 6/2/2008 11:23:51 AM
If she had bio polar you would of noticed the symptons before you married her surely.
How come you knew so little about her. Surely you should of found of more about her before marrying her sound if gullible or naive so I would wizen up about before the next woman you meet or have you been so wrapped up in yourself that you have not noticed, seems strange to me.
 bournemouthman
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 22
My X-Wife hidden shady background.
Posted: 6/2/2008 11:27:18 AM
Or did she do a heather mills special, sprinkle you with stardust another word for it is manipulation.
 Snakewhisperer
Joined: 2/3/2008
Msg: 23
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History
My X-Wife hidden shady background.
Posted: 6/2/2008 11:37:09 AM
OP, looking back, were there any signs or red flags? Is there anything you can learn from this to keep from repeating it? I can't imagine the betrayal you must feel.
 cordie_from_heaven
Joined: 3/9/2007
Msg: 24
My X-Wife hidden shady background.
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:20:37 PM
I grew up with two kids whose dad married a Japanese lady (his 2nd marriage...first one ended after 30 years when the wife came out of the closet).

Anyho...Larry had a real nice house, was a professor at one of the well known NC colleges, was a scuba instructor, etc, etc etc...one of the greatest men I knew growing up.

Long story short...the new wife stocked the house in antiques (with his money) and then she set the damn thing on fire of insurance. Now his house? It was built back in the early 1800's by a NC Pirate and was listed as a state historic site and everything. When the house burned...SHE Collected all the money b/c she had cancelled his insurance policy and had gotten a new one with only her on it.

Pretty screwy situation. She left him of course and the poor guy was left with nothing.

~Welder's Girl~
 toomuch13
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 25
My X-Wife hidden shady background.
Posted: 6/2/2008 7:12:24 PM
She sounds like Yoko Ono (read about her life in Japan).

You were very lucky, because you can move on. You could have been bankrupt and heartbroken,
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