| To joke or not to joke
Posted: 5/31/2008 10:13:07 AM | When I talk to girls online I usually like to keep things light, and so I often make little sarcastic jokes (nothing sexual or anything like that). But I'm curious:
Have you ever lost interest in a guy just because you didn't get the joke (or did not realize it was a joke)?
What's the best way to recover should the girl take it the wrong way (or not like the tone of the conversation)? | |
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| To joke or not to joke
Posted: 5/31/2008 10:16:26 AM | I've lost interest if I felt he wasn't taking the conversation serious in any way.
Joking and having fun is essential, but I want substance and if he's giving me nothing
but one liners and sarcastic replies, I'll move on fast.
There's a fine line with telling jokes to someone you don't really know. To me, it's nothing
but a defense mechanism and tells me the guy isn't ready to go there yet.
I want someone that's ready to open up and show me his stuff. NO, not that stuff. lol.....
Keeping it light is one thing, but if you have nothing to offer but that, then I'd lose interest quick. | |
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| To joke or not to joke
Posted: 5/31/2008 11:09:15 AM | Bullie is absolutely right..... there is a time and a place for lighthearted joking, but if that's all he's got to offer, it gets old fast.
Have you ever lost interest in a guy just because you didn't get the joke (or did not realize it was a joke)?
Not because I didn't get the joke, but I have lost interest because of the difference in sense of humour.... if I don't like his at first, chances are I'm not going to start liking it.... just as he probably won't like mine either.
What's the best way to recover should the girl take it the wrong way (or not like the tone of the conversation)?
A simple yet sincere apology would be the best.... also, if you're the kind to joke when you're nervous, be honest about it.... a woman can understand and appreciate that.
I'm sure there have been times when I've turned a guy off because of my sense of humour and kidding around..... I have no regrets because I am who I am and if they don't like me now, they sure as hell ain't gonna like me later when I get even more comfortable with him. I even state right in my profile that you must be able to give and take a little good natured ribbing....
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| To joke or not to joke
Posted: 5/31/2008 11:10:44 AM | Have you ever lost interest in a guy just because you didn't get the joke (or did not realize it was a joke)?
Yes, I have. When you are trying to get to know someone, you ask questions and tell them about yourself and all you get back are stupid jokes and compliments, and sometimes, not even answers to the questions that you are asking. It leaves one with the feeling that the person is not interested in letting someone else know them or there is no substance behind the jokes.
I'd say, wait to joke around until after you've established some kind rapport with the person. What is funny to one person, may not be funny to another... | |
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| To joke or not to joke
Posted: 5/31/2008 11:16:39 AM | I lost interest in a guy I was dating because he made very stupid jokes in poor taste. I knew it was a joke, but it was a verrrrrrry bad joke.
Best way to recover? Okay my take on this, you may not like...If she doesn't get your sense of humor, it's not your job to recover. Screw that. Find someone who gets your jokes. | |
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| To joke or not to joke
Posted: 5/31/2008 11:19:35 AM | There's nothing wrong with joking, as long as that's not the entire conversation. Keep in mind, though, that jokes can easily be misunderstood online. Since she can't hear your tone of voice or see your facial expressions, it sometimes isn't obvious that something was supposed to be funny, especially if she doesn't know you very well yet.
What's the best way to recover should the girl take it the wrong way (or not like the tone of the conversation)?
grov·el –verb
1. to humble oneself or act in an abject manner, as in great fear or utter servility.  | |
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| To joke or not to joke
Posted: 5/31/2008 11:25:21 AM | There is one guy that writes me often that takes his joking to an extreme and even to the level of insult to me. He claims he is joking but I do not find the humor in it especially after I have asked him repeatedly to stop and try a legitimate conversation.
I can say that humor is good and joking is great but there is a line and he has made it that I will never agree to meet in real life or even given phone number or IM handle because of the way he is acting, it is juvenile
As far as how to recover - a sincere apology goes a long way - but actions speak louder | |
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| To joke or not to joke
Posted: 5/31/2008 11:25:49 AM |
Keep in mind, though, that jokes can easily be misunderstood online.
Hell, jokes in person can be easily misunderstood...
I'm willing to take that risk! | |
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| To joke or not to joke
Posted: 5/31/2008 11:29:57 AM | Always beware the "Evil Clown".
Those are the ones who joke *at your expense*, then when you call 'em on it, they accuse you of not having a sense of humor.
Pure passive-aggressive. | |
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| To joke or not to joke
Posted: 5/31/2008 11:37:38 AM | Sarcasim is difficult to execute properly in text alone. In person you have facial expressions and inflections in your voice to suggest sarcasm, with text you have emoticons and *actions*
I'm sarcastic, absolutely, but it doesn't always work in text mode. 
Yes, I've offended people, several times. | |
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| To joke or not to joke
Posted: 5/31/2008 11:47:43 AM | If the man says he is sorry...then that is okay.
I have sarcastic tendencies too! But emoticons help to show one is joking and also saying (just joking). | |
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| To joke or not to joke
Posted: 5/31/2008 11:52:13 AM | Gezz.. most of the responses from woman seem to go against what guys have learned over the years. "I want a guy that is funny", "I like a guy that can make me laugh" so on and so on.
Now... you are all saying I want him to be serious. Can you make up your minds?
I can tell you that woman in general are so critical of everything that a man does. What he types in email, how he types in email, spelling, grammar, punctuation. When we actually do response with substance you think we are way to serious and uptight.
Obviously everyone is different and that is probably the problem. Guys will never get it because there is no one way to make every woman happy. It just isn't possible. So if we are funny to one, the next will probably think we are never serious.
All in all I think us guys just need to be ourselves and if they don't like it.. so be it. It's not the end of the world. The way I see it, it's always their loss if they want to be that hypocritical. | |
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| To joke or not to joke
Posted: 5/31/2008 11:53:11 AM |
I've lost interest if I felt he wasn't taking the conversation serious in any way.
Joking and having fun is essential, but I want substance and if he's giving me nothing
but one liners and sarcastic replies, I'll move on fast
An exceptional statement from an exceptional woman. | |
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| To joke or not to joke
Posted: 5/31/2008 11:56:45 AM |
I'm sure there have been times when I've turned a guy off because of my sense of humour and kidding around..... I have no regrets because I am who I am and if they don't like me now, they sure as hell ain't gonna like me later when I get even more comfortable with him. I even state right in my profile that you must be able to give and take a little good natured ribbing....
I think its safe to say that laughinglibra hasn't turned many guys off. | |
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| To joke or not to joke
Posted: 5/31/2008 12:08:37 PM |
Have you ever lost interest in a guy just because you didn't get the joke (or did not realize it was a joke)?
Totally, not because I didn't get the joke but because the jokes got annoying during the course of the conversation. This happened to me fairly recently. I'm in the middle of describing my past and he continuously made sarcastic comments, even after I said "okay, yeah, that's enough..." more than once. Now I think he's obnoxious. It can be interpreted as very disrespectful if you don't already have an establish repartee going on.
What's the best way to recover should the girl take it the wrong way (or not like the tone of the conversation)?
It's all about respecting boundaries and paying attention to what's important to the other party. You don't know this person so you never know whether you're joking about a sensitive subject or not. Simply apologize and make a mental note of it. I think most people will accept that.
Yeah, we DO want guys who are funny, so take the time to learn what makes us laugh and what ticks us off :P. | |
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| To joke or not to joke
Posted: 5/31/2008 12:28:01 PM | Those are the ones who joke *at your expense*, then when you call 'em on it, they accuse you of not having a sense of humor.
Pure passive-aggressive.
Very well said, Lizard. This is precisely why I dislike sarcasm ~ it is intended to wound and I see nothing funny about that. | |
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| To joke or not to joke
Posted: 5/31/2008 12:34:21 PM | | OP, I haven't seen many people take this online dating very serious to begin with. | |
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| To joke or not to joke
Posted: 5/31/2008 12:39:56 PM | I haven't seen many people take this online dating very serious to begin with.
That is because it takes a mutual amount of effort from both parties. Usually the female side lacks because they are used to the "traditional" way of meeting people where the guy flirts, makes eye contact, etc. Females are not used to this online way of doing things. It really takes mutual effort. Additionally people are quicker to dismiss someone over trivial things rather if you met this person the traditional way would take a while to learn. By that time people figure these flaws out sparks might already be flying. | |
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| To joke or not to joke
Posted: 5/31/2008 12:49:50 PM | Hmmmmmmmmm....I think it would be safe to say....when being sarcastic, it should NOT be directed at anyone in particular. But I've been sarcastic(smart a$$)on here but not at another's expense.
The poster may have meant that....I don't know, he would have to clarify that. One CAN be sarcastic about other topics when chatting with another. | |
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| To joke or not to joke
Posted: 5/31/2008 12:56:24 PM | As to taking this online dating serious..........
I have met a few good men. No matter what they are about, they are good men to me.
Who likes to be vulnerable to others(really, in any capacity)...........perhaps that is why online dating does not work so well for many people. | |
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| To joke or not to joke
Posted: 5/31/2008 12:57:48 PM | If a guy doesnt "get me" I loose interest instantly. I have a very dry sense of humor and I am blunt, sarcastic and vulgar. Either you like me or you dont and I am not going to change or sugar coat who I am during the "get to know you stage" I have had guys tell me that my foul mouth is a turn off and my reply is Thanks for not wasting any of our time have good fvcking luck here on POF
Freedom of Speech. You hit my mailbox so leary of what comes back. Slave
Signed
Your Master | |
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| To joke or not to joke
Posted: 5/31/2008 3:09:43 PM |
I have a very dry sense of humor and I am blunt, sarcastic and vulgar
And beneath all that @$#%&^*$#@#% is a very warm, caring and loving woman  | |
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| To joke or not to joke
Posted: 5/31/2008 3:15:07 PM | i joke around a lot, i do the one liners im sarcastic but i also ask about the person im talking to and have a bit of general banter with them.
This is how i am in real life as well as online so if they cant take it on here then they wont like me in real life either.
It is hard to talk to people who wont talk back too.....ive had a lot of one sided conversations with guys where im asking about themselves etc and they tell me...then thats it....they just talk about themselves....thats more of a turn off than joking around imo | |
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| To joke or not to joke
Posted: 5/31/2008 3:48:55 PM | I am totally turned off by it, when chatting on line with someone you I have not met and they started making sexual comments. But then I guess it would depend on the mood that I am in, sometimes I do play along with it understanding that I would never agree to meet the person in real life.  | |
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| To joke or not to joke
Posted: 5/31/2008 3:58:34 PM | I adore a person with a dry sense of humor, it's puts me at easy yet at the same time can't wait to get more, sweet & sour.....yumie for ye tummy! | |
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