| did I take the correct action???
Posted: 5/31/2008 2:20:45 PM | | The other day, while driving, I stopped at a red light, in front of a bus stop. Waiting there, was an incredibly beautiful lady, ahd her man. The guy had his pants half way down his crack(looked like he needed his diaper changed), wearing a wife beater shirt, and a ball cap turned to the side. He was sitting on the bench, she was standing up, rocking a baby, in a car seat. I heard her say " My arms are getting tired, can you rock her?" He replied, " Ahh hell no, its hotter than a mo fo out here." I immediately pulled up to the sidewalk, got out, and told him " get up off your lazy ass, and be a man!" all he did was TSk, at me, until i mioved closer to him. He got up! I told her, if she needed a ride somewhere, Id take her anywhere she needed to go. She informed me she was late for a job interview. I asked her what time He had to be at work, no one said anything. she put the baby in my truck, and climbed in. He started to get in and I thru a 5 dollar bill at himn and said, "your bus will be here soon. " she informed me he was always like this. So, was I wrong? Im just sick of seeing worthless men get the woman. She actually did thank me, and said "I didnt think any men were that nice" | |
|
| did I take the correct action???
Posted: 5/31/2008 2:27:27 PM | You flat out antagonized a man that gave the appearance of being a dead beat.
How will you feel if you see this woman in the next day or so and she has bruises?
Sometimes the right thing is to not exacerbate a potentially volatile situation. | |
|
| did I take the correct action???
Posted: 5/31/2008 2:27:28 PM | Not a woman, but my opinion is still gold. 
I thinkyou were a fool, playing hero is a good way to get beat up or shot or stabbed, etc.
I can admire your bravery and candor but honestly bro, it was none of your business. She's an adult and can make her own choices, whether that means standing beside Dennis the Mance or not, her call.
This is borderline attention seeking BTW. Especially your last sentance.  | |
|
| |
| |
| did I take the correct action???
Posted: 5/31/2008 2:29:30 PM | | well if he ODEs beat her up, no one can blame ME. im sure if he does, he always has anyway> Sure, I run the risk of getting stabbed or shot. beat up? uh no lol!! But at least she knows NOw, that chivalry is NOt dead! | |
|
| did I take the correct action???
Posted: 5/31/2008 2:31:19 PM |
well if he ODEs beat her up, no one can blame ME. im sure if he does, he always has anyway> Sure, I run the risk of getting stabbed or shot. beat up? uh no lol!! But at least she knows NOw, that chivalry is NOt dead! Of course not...
You are right... you're a hero... | |
|
| did I take the correct action???
Posted: 5/31/2008 2:37:58 PM | Meh...you look like a big enough dude to hold your own, sure. Although I've seen plenty of fights where someone underestimated and been tuned.
So yea, you could get beat up.
I don't really consider what you did chivalrous. Although I can appreciate your actions and respect a man with balls (personally I wouldn't have bothered -- too much drama no ROI).
You may very well have landed her in hot water later...morons are like that...he might beat her up to compensate for being an idiot.
If you want to be chivaulrous(sp) go volunteer at an old folks home with old women that you know you ain't getting any from. When there is no incentive except someone else's benefit, to me that's chilvalury. | |
|
| did I take the correct action???
Posted: 5/31/2008 2:49:24 PM | Nice gesture, but a little overkill. Sorta like the guy who showed his empty wallet to the homeless guy. Kudos on being a nice guy just for the sake of being nice (or did you have a private agenda), but some things are better left undone.
I have to agree with psssst, tho. Even if he did abuse her previously, you have just given him another reason to...and that would be your fault! IF it does happen, because YOU picked her up, and made him feel like a dead beat, than yes it would be YOUR fault.
I have offered rides to random strangers before, but that is usually from the bar to their own home so they get there safely. I try not to interfere with personal issues between a couple, anymore. It is often comes with resentment when the help was unasked for, as opposed to appreciation (which flukily enough happened in your case).
I also agree with CB, losing your life (or even just being seriously injured) for an act of what may not even be considered kindness in the long run, is not worth the odds.
In this case, and cases like this, the possible negatives outweigh the possible positives. Personally, I might have offered her a ride, but definitely not got out of the car to cause a possible confrontation. Not worth my time to start sh!t with other peoples problems, especially when they are complete strangers to me. | |
|
| did I take the correct action???
Posted: 5/31/2008 2:51:01 PM | | I think you overstepped yourself, but if she was fine with it I guess it worked out ok for you. I honestly don't think it was any of your business unless he was being aggressive towards her. As for "sick of seeing worthless men get the woman.", she probably doesn't see him as worthless or she wouldn't be with him. And if she wasn't "incredibly beautiful", I question if you would still feel that way. I do think too many people act as though we're not a part of a community and ignore things they shouldn't. From what you described though, I don't think you saw anything to warrant your behavior. I'm glad she got the ride, but I'm hopeful her decision to accept it didn't cause more difficulties than it resolved. | |
|
| did I take the correct action???
Posted: 5/31/2008 3:03:06 PM | | yes I would have done the same thing for ANY WOMAN! beauty or not> I wont apologize for thinking ALL WOMEn deserve better than this jerk off | |
|
| did I take the correct action???
Posted: 5/31/2008 3:04:23 PM | | well after reading this, i guess MOSt women dont like men that are nice to them( No agenda at all), so from now on i guess no more mr nice guy> After all , some seem to have respect for the jerk that treated her badly | |
|
| did I take the correct action???
Posted: 5/31/2008 3:13:58 PM | While I can appreciate help where help is needed/wanted, in this case I don't think it was any of your business to intervene. She's an adult (hopefully), and likewise can (again, hopefully) make adult decisions. If she chooses to stay with this guy, it's her choice and her life.
It was a nice thought, though, what you did. | |
|
| did I take the correct action???
Posted: 5/31/2008 3:32:30 PM |
yes I would have done the same thing for ANY WOMAN! beauty or not> I wont apologize for thinking ALL WOMEn deserve better than this jerk off
Perhaps, but you clearly said 'really beautiful' lady which is what made the thread so cliche. I don't think I have ever read anyone say (nor have I witnessed) any man interject a situation for an ugly old lady, it always seems to be the princess in distress being rescued by her knight in shining armour.
I was once jumped by three indians and no one came to my rescue, despite there being several dozens of people within 200m of the action. It's because I'm not a pretty girl.  | |
|
| did I take the correct action???
Posted: 5/31/2008 3:42:39 PM | I think it was a nice gesture what you did. I think that the majority of the women thought that it would have caused problems for her when she got home, but, that would not be all of your fault, she accepted the ride, she knows what might come of it later that night, she takes some of the responsibility also.
Some say "it's her choice" or "she chooses to stay"....yes, this is true but unfortunately it's not as cut and dry as that in most cases. Some of these women are afraid for their safety and for their children's safety, this is why they stay in an awful/dangerous situation. I for one would never stay but I know someone who did for years.
Again, it's nice to know there are men out there still that would help someone in need, if they need, however, sometimes you have to weigh the consequences also. :) | |
|
| did I take the correct action???
Posted: 5/31/2008 3:46:07 PM |
well after reading this, i guess MOSt women dont like men that are nice to them( No agenda at all), so from now on i guess no more mr nice guy> After all , some seem to have respect for the jerk that treated her badly I think you are misunderstanding what was said here. It isn't that women don't want a man who's isn't nice to them nor is it that they respect(ed) that man who was a jerk to that woman.
Since this action could have caused her some trouble later (who knows) I think is what the people here are saying. Plus, it wasn't anyone's business unless the woman sought out help and you were there.
Yes, she did take you up on your offer of safely transporting her to her destination. But the importance (to her) of getting to that job interview perhaps outweighed the trouble she might have been subject to upon next seeing the man.
I once worked in a domestic violence center shelter for women and had many clients subsequent to that who had been in abusive relationships. Some would say that sometimes they did things they had to do, but knew what the consequences would be upon next facing their partner. But whatever it was they chose to do (in a particular circumstance) it outweighed what they suffered in order to gain.
So, it wasn't that your act wasn't altruistic, it was perhaps not the right thing to do at the time. | |
|
| did I take the correct action???
Posted: 5/31/2008 3:56:36 PM | | although the thought is lovely , it wont teach a dog like that new tricks , men like that tend to blame the woman and after the guy leaves and has taken up for her he beats her and treats her worse and blames her for being put down by another man . I would have directed her to a shelter for battered women for her and her baby to get a new start somewhere and where she can be treated better. | |
|
| did I take the correct action???
Posted: 5/31/2008 4:01:47 PM | | OP, it's clear your heart was in the right place and you were trying to help this woman. A good guy to have around in a sticky spot, for sure. | |
|
| did I take the correct action???
Posted: 5/31/2008 4:04:45 PM | I'm curious as to all the comments in this thread about domestic violence and abuse.
According to the OP's description, the only real characterization is that the guy was inconsiderate and unemployed.
There was nothing about being either physically or mentally abusive.
Congratulations OP, you saved a woman from a lazy man. Bravo.
Overkill? Yeah, I'd say so. | |
|
| |
| did I take the correct action???
Posted: 5/31/2008 4:16:42 PM | Chivalry's been dead since we stopped jousting for pride, rather than only doing it when we're drunk and on motorcycles, rather than horses.
I do commend you for actually doing the right thing. I'm by far against doing the right thing, but to each their own. But on a side-note, those new Army BDUs are atrocious looking. | |
|
| did I take the correct action???
Posted: 5/31/2008 4:30:48 PM | Dear Captain America
It sounds actually like you just snapped. Low slung pants, a wife beater t shirt and sideways turned cap......and you project that this man is a jerk off ??, in your words.
He may be, he may be not
if he is...he is that woman's own personal Jerk Off
it's really none of your bid'net, you know?
I could never project on a persons personal choices in a mate, especially by just driving by. Maybe it's the fatigues that you wear, I'm not sure.
If I saw a woman in absolute peril, or a man for that matter, and thought I could help.....I would. And, indeed, I have. More than once
What you did is called projection, not chivalry. Maybe her guy actually was just hot and it wasn't his turn to rock the baby. Does that make him an abusive jerk off...c'mon now.
Chivalry is doing the right thing without judgement.
You were close...but no cigar
~~~~~~~~~~ "kimbo ``````````````````````````````` | |
|
| did I take the correct action???
Posted: 5/31/2008 4:32:24 PM | those new Army BDUs are atrocious looking
Gratuitous insults? Of our soldiers, no less? And this is productive how?
Chivalry is doing the right thing without judgement.
You were close...but no cigar
chivalry
noun
1. courtesy towards women
I'd say the OP was right on the money. Nice try, but no cigar!
| |
|
| did I take the correct action???
Posted: 5/31/2008 4:34:37 PM |
Gratuitous insults? Of our soldiers, no less? And this is productive how?
I'm drawing a comparison between the Marines' marpat to the Army's.. whatever it is. I'm trying to get his opinion on them, and if they ever dropped the velcro on the prototype of the new BDU's. | |
|
| |
Home
login 
