| I am "lame", I should be out now?
Posted: 5/31/2008 10:03:08 PM | Being of the geeky bent as well as some one who didn't get drunk until his 34th birthday it isn't surprising that I am here on this darn pc instead of out in the city at some club. Truth be told, I have done the club thing a few times since then (2 years ago) and though I was able to have a great time (some of the best of my life) I just don't get the whole club scene. Maybe it is just me, but other than dancing with women and getting "nice" I don't have an outside agenda as it seems many in the club do. Case in point all the cell phone number exchanging going on, I never thought I'd want to see any of those women outside the club, true some respectable women go to them but for the most part, the chronic club hoppers (who make the majority of the club ecosystem) are not my type and I am not theirs so I just don't bother getting or giving my number when I go.
I am just curious if anyone else here (male or female) found the club scene tiring fairly quickly (I mean within less than 10 visits) I am now sitting in front of this pc and though part of me could be rubbing on...I mean dancing with strange women in a club right now, most of me just wants to keep on sitting here being "lame" (ie: writing POF posts and reading random wikipedia entries until the sandman calls my name). Anyone else home now being "lame"? | |
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| I am lame, I should be out now?
Posted: 5/31/2008 10:10:32 PM | The club scene is just that.... you are in a darkened room, drinking alcohol. The people in there are lonely, subject to seduction, taking in a substance (alcohol), that will make them lose their inhibitions. These are all recipes for disaster... the morning after.
On a dating website, you can call the shots. You can plan a decent place to meet, in broad daylight, with a respectable activity, which gives you a chance to know a person as a friend. This establishes respect, which is something you will need, in order to build a solid, functional relationship in the future. Bars are not a good place to meet a potential partner. Percentages are better on dating websites. The best place is back in school, but it seems maybe you are past the age limit on that... although adult night school could be a possibility. | |
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| I am lame, I should be out now?
Posted: 5/31/2008 10:13:59 PM | Smilee4u,
Well the intent of the post was to just wonder if anyone else also felt cool with just being home and not needing to go out to the clubs all the time. I don't ...and this is not in any way a pity post (as some have so far voted it to be) ...just curious if anyone else is just as comfortable being home on a traditional "party night" as I am is all.
I agree with your comments though concerning the usefulness of dating sites and of clubs not being good places to meet (which is why I never take/give numbers when I did go to them) and I also agree percentages are way better online. | |
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| I am lame, I should be out now?
Posted: 5/31/2008 10:17:36 PM | I lived in a bar in my early 20's so now I just do not go. It is something we should grow out of as we mature. It is one thing to go for a special occassion but I am not into dating or being friends with someone my age who feels the need to go to a bar all the time and get drunk. More to life than that. I'd rather be lame and not need booze to have a good time.
~Carrie | |
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| I am lame, I should be out now?
Posted: 5/31/2008 10:21:43 PM | YAY Carrie!!!! I am with you on that one.... I can count on one hand the number of times I have been to a club in the past decade.... takes me too long to recover when I go out anyway.. oh shoot... that must be a sign of old age....  | |
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| I am lame, I should be out now?
Posted: 5/31/2008 10:23:36 PM | I think it should depend on the person. Some people never like clubs their whole life, some never stop liking them, some like it for a while and then get bored with it, etc.
There is no "right" or "wrong" way to feel about clubs...but I will say this: if you are in the club for any other reason than just to enjoy it for what it is and leave, you're gonna get frustrated. People who think they should get something out of it besides a light show, music and a couple drinks are gonna stress themselves out.
Therefore to say it's no where to pick up people - well of course it's not - it happens but it's rare...it's not meant to be for that. Sucks when you know that and deal with others in the place all night who DO think that's the goal. | |
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| I am lame, I should be out now?
Posted: 5/31/2008 10:25:58 PM | OP - it seems like you're just reaching that stage where you don't feel like going out to bars on "traditional party nights" anymore. I reached that at around 30 years old. You just find hobbies that you're interested in and friends whose company you actually enjoy. The bar scene after a certain age is really quite boring. Been there, done that kind of thing.
OP - it would appear that you're all growed up now, lol. It doesn't mean you can't go out every once in a while, but it's not lame to stay home. You'll wake up with more money in your pocket tomorrow and remember the evening. In time, you'll replace bar hopping with other activities that don't require you to be up until the wee hours of the morning and you'll feel absolutely no need to justify it to anyone...:) | |
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| I am lame, I should be out now?
Posted: 5/31/2008 10:42:48 PM | There is a saying that my friends and I have. "New Years Eve is amatuer night. The pros stay home". On New Years Eve, everyone is out drinking and dancing because it is the thing to do. Same can be said for Friday/Saturday night.
If you are comfortable with yourself staying home on a Saturday night, so be it. It's who you are. I am comfortable with myself staying home. In fact, to further prove the unorthodox, I just made a date for tomorrow night (Sunday) at 10 pm. :shrug: It's just the way our schedules worked out. | |
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| I am lame, I should be out now?
Posted: 5/31/2008 10:51:18 PM | | I am with you OP..I am young and i dont find the club thing that big a deal at all..doesnt do anything for me really..i used to go go a bit more when i was a teenager, but now it doesnt appeal to me..i'm am just like you..i'm usually at home on the weekend if i dont have anywhere to go..i dont want to go out just for the sake of it.. | |
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| I am lame, I should be out now?
Posted: 5/31/2008 11:13:01 PM | lady waresa,
the thing is I have only just started (relative to my current age) going to clubs! I mean literally I've been to them no more than 10 times and I started two years ago. My friends used to tell me, you must go , you must go, for most of my 20's and I never had the desire (since I was always thinking "i won't meet anyone interesting there" instead of as someone said "just go to have fun") Part of it was also fear, I was really shy in my early 20's ...the stereotypical anti-social geek, but when I finally realized 2 years ago it was okay to go and have fun, even that fun I quickly tired of ...I prefer to meet serious women elsewhere. I prefer to be "lame" on Saturday nights is my point (hence the quotes...I don't think I am really lame!!!) *grin* though I am sure if I was in a relationship I would go out with my gf to have fun with her there....if she wanted to. ;)
I am glad I didn't have to spend 10 years of my life learning the lesson that clubs are for one thing. | |
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| I am lame, I should be out now?
Posted: 5/31/2008 11:18:05 PM | good point Scott,
I could see a possible reason lies in the difference in the circle of friends most of us keep between when we are in college in our 20's and when we finally graduate to "worker bee" status. You just don't have the time or energy to go out and get red faced every weekend. Though in my case I never had a ton of peers pushing me to do things as all my friends were engineering , physics and math students and well, let's just say we weren't the cream of the social crop nor did we congregate to go "hit the clubs". Back then I couldn't imagine a worse torture to be honest. ;) | |
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| I am lame, I should be out now?
Posted: 5/31/2008 11:26:57 PM | the fact that you call yourself lame makes me think this is a troll post.
but yeah. bar scene is not for everyone. usually i only go out to the bars to hear live music .. ya know. certain great local bands. other than that.. its not a meat market to me.
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| I am lame, I should be out now?
Posted: 5/31/2008 11:44:14 PM | | I don't understand when someone tries to express themselves and open up about how they feel/think about things, someone has to come along and burst their bubble and call them trolls. Why do you feel the need to do this? Why does it bother you so much to give them this label? | |
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| I am lame, I should be out now?
Posted: 5/31/2008 11:50:01 PM | OP
It is all about choices. It sounds like you made your choice to not include nightclubs and bars in your social routine. You just need to find a circle of friends that feel the same.
You will get a lot of the clubbers say "what? you just don't know how to loosen up and have fun" or "ah you are boring, what the hell everyone does it"
Living in the mecca of party folks I hear that all the time, so I understand the underlying point of your post. You do have to surround yourself with folks who are into the things you are into. There is nothing wrong with doing other things than partying on a weekend. Hell that is one thing I miss about living on the east coast, the culture (arts, theater, etc) is missing so much of what the east coast and new york has to offer. Being in the "greatest city on earth" should afford you many options. You just need to find the crowd that does those options and go with it. | |
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| I am lame, I should be out now?
Posted: 6/1/2008 12:05:16 AM | If you're lame, then I'm a paraplegic.
I would go to clubs in the seventies and thoroughly hated it. One night a couple of my friends and I went into a bar, and it was packed. That was at a time when my hometown was full of club-goers, but the clubs were not numerous yet. Now we have city blocks full of nothing but bars.
Anyhow, I somehow pushed and shoved my way to the bar. I sat down and did not order a drink because I was too cheap. A girl came and sat down right beside me. She wasn't a stunner but she looked decent. I was in my early twenties then, and I got so petrified from the closeness of a young, reasonably good-looking woman in my vicinity that I could do nothing but continue with what I had been doing: Sit at the bar, not say a word and feel utterly miserable.
The girl had enough of this and after a while she left. I decided to go somewhere else in the bar, you know, the nomadic instinct. I got off the high chair, with no little difficulty. I'm five foot four inches, and though I was slim at that time and athletic, the alighting from the chair was more like a flop-off than a graceful stand-off.
I made two steps in the very crowded bar, and pressed between two strange, tall guys. If you're five-foot-four like me, most everyone else is a tall man. So I turned sideways, pressed through, and lo and behold, I found myslef in a spot which was a square area, the sides being made of four men's broad backs and shoulders. Their shoulder bones were at eye level for me. I stood there, for the duration of the rest of the evening until closing time. I could simply not leave my spot gracefully. The four guys who were facing outwards from me, never moved the whole evening (there was nowhere to move to), but that did not console me.
This was how I would be having my usual fun in my late teens, early twenties. Then at 25 I discovered older women and never looked back. | |
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| I am lame, I should be out now?
Posted: 6/1/2008 5:32:33 AM |
I lived in a bar in my early 20's so now I just do not go. It is something we should grow out of as we mature. It is one thing to go for a special occassion but I am not into dating or being friends with someone my age who feels the need to go to a bar all the time and get drunk. More to life than that. I'd rather be lame and not need booze to have a good time.
Hey, I can copy and paste my thoughts. How neat. | |
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| I am lame, I should be out now?
Posted: 6/1/2008 6:09:46 AM | | I'm being "lame" before going to church this morning.Went to bed @ 9:00, like a good girl. I still like to go out clubbing on a special occasion, mostly if I like the band. Canned music is kinda lame, tho. In the 70's I went to all the Disco clubs & once won a dance contest w/ out any practice. In the 80's I went to all the punk clubs in San Fran. Wild & fun as could be. I once sat on stage w/ the Stray Cats. Interviewed the Ramones on video. Danced on the tables at the Fillmore. Got slammed mercilessly at a Clash concert. In the 90's the micro-breweries had the best music, Blues, Cajun, Soul, Reggae, Roots Rock...all good fun. The boys were lined up to dance with me. Not every nite was stellar...sometimes you deal with creeps, but that's part of the fun, laughing about it later.Today I just went to a Med Marijuanna Reggae concert, and I'm going to see Matchbox Twenty soon(yay). Fun can always be had...if YOU make it fun. And don't take yourself too seriously. It's supposed to be fun. I know I'll die smiling :) | |
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| I am lame, I should be out now?
Posted: 6/1/2008 6:19:10 AM |
Well the intent of the post was to just wonder if anyone else also felt cool with just being home and not needing to go out to the clubs all the time.
I fall into this category, but I don't consider myself lame. Have you ever been in a club and seen the 35+ people....they look foolish. Trying to fit in with the 20 somethings, making complete fools of themselves. That is lame.
I am home by choice, not because I have no other options. I could be out with friends (no clubs involved), or on a date, or with family. I prefer to stay home alot. Especially when the kids are at their fathers, that is my "me" time...time to recharge my batteries. | |
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| I am lame, I should be out now?
Posted: 6/1/2008 6:25:49 AM | I'm not a geek but never cared much for the club party scene. It was hard in my 20's to find anyone who wasn't on drugs or a heavy partier. I did my own thing, got my education, worked and did the best I could to not poison myself with crazy people/ users/ druggies coming around.
Later, years later, the aftermath, so many of my high school friends died from drugs or accidents in cars driving under the influence. Many are also now sick with diseases from "the party life" ( like cirrosis of the liver, lung cancer from smoking, heart problems, and all types of things from doing stupid things, like STD's)
and countless women who had children, unable to be good parents.. and some women having 3 or 4 kids by 3-4 different men ( a skank)
My life was just starting at 40 and theirs was over.
so who is lame ?
You have to choose your lifestyle and what you want from life, life is what you make it. Nobody is going to make you go to clubs or befriend those people.
These days with increased gas prices, heavy penelty for DUI convictions, added to expensive drinks at clubs... most people are not going to be able to afford a party lifestyle unless they are drug dealers.
March to your own beat. Stop worrying about what other people think. If you like being at home, then be at home.
Why you worry about what others think is your problem...
worry about yourself not the party people. | |
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| I am lame, I should be out now?
Posted: 6/1/2008 6:36:00 AM | I know I am only 24, however I have never been to a club and have no intentions of needing and/or wanting to. I have been to a small bar once (just a few months ago).
I can't comment on weather or not I enjoy the club scene as I have not experienced it first hand. Although I can say that, I would not get a sitter and leave my children to experience something that is not for me, especially given the fact I am shy and quiet and wouldn't fit in anyhow. | |
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eazk
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 23 | |
| I am lame, I should be out now?
Posted: 6/1/2008 7:23:26 AM | Naw...I'm sitting here reading stories from guys that need to sign up for a "Dating for Geeks" course. OMG...there are so many attractive, cute, funny, intelligent and available women out there...women who are just as nervous, as intimidated, as unsure of the actual way to meet and fully engage with the right guy...to have them become a couple.
You just need some dating lessons and you'll be surprised how easy AND fun this all becomes.
And that's the first lesson...Focus on FUN, FIRST.
Understand that love develops from fun...fun never develops from love.
Put romance and moves and sex on the back burner until you decide if you really like someone...cause once you do you are going to find that the romance is welcomed...the moves ALL work and the sex is totally stimulating and satisfying...mindblowing.
As for the other lessons...get #1 down first...learn to focus on fun, then we can move on to the "How to" stuff.
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| I am lame, I should be out now?
Posted: 6/1/2008 8:15:17 AM |
Have you ever been in a club and seen the 35+ people....they look foolish. Trying to fit in with the 20 somethings, making complete fools of themselves. That is lame.
Wow. Really? Well, last time I was in a club, I was 47 and I had a blast because I enjoyed the music, the drinks, the socializing, and my guy. If that's lame, then I think lame is pretty cool.
When I first moved back home from Chicago, I had a helluva itch to get out and needed a distraction in the worst of ways. I didn't know anyone and am not the type to sit around tapping my fingers, so I tried a club that some of my customers told me about. I don't have any problem with doing things by myself, so off I went. It became the kind of place I'd shoot into after I got off work late at night because I felt welcome and comfy there. Welp, it didn't take too many visits to note the 30 or so regulars and the patterns they employed. They'd hook up with some newbie and you might see them together 2 or 3 more nights, and then they'd each be with someone else the next weekend, in what looked like some kind of rotation. And on and on it would go. I recall sitting there watching the same scenes play out again and again, on a night when I was feeling kind of sad, too, and it hit me that it seemed everyone in my fair city had slept with each other at some point, and were having the same relationship over and over...only with a new person, every few weekends.
Just made me sad, and after that, I realized I wasn't enjoying it anymore so I stopped going.
I think as long as a person is doing what they wanna do, it's all good. | |
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| I am lame, I should be out now?
Posted: 6/1/2008 8:44:01 AM |
Have you ever been in a club and seen the 35+ people....they look foolish. Trying to fit in with the 20 somethings, making complete fools of themselves. That is lame.
Live and let live is how I do things. I'm not much of a drinker anymore, but I totally love the atmosphere of a club DJ, lights, music and a packed dance floor, or the sound of a live band and a great audience. Sure, it's occupational to a point, but it's one of the things that makes me tick.
I'd hate to think because of that I haven't "grown up". Being almost 40 in a sea of 20 somethings doesn't bother me - but then again I am not there trying to fit in - just observe (and shake my a$$ when I hear a good song). I don't knock those who don't like clubs and bars, so why should those who don't go knock me?
To each their own - we should all do what we like to do and stop worrying/analyzing those who don't agree with us and like to do things differently. | |
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