| different stage in life...would you still date?
Posted: 6/1/2008 5:53:12 AM | ok...I am seeing a man 10 years older than me. I have a four year old, his only child is 21.
we both have full time careers, he, as well, owns his own business. So he is a very busy man. I understand because with a 4 year old our time availability is about the same.
we were out for dinner the other night and during the conversation he commented that he knew he would never get married again (he is a widower). He also said that he felt that I and my son would never move to his town, (language thing).
we do have fun together. Yes, we are intimate. I really like him...he is like no one I have ever dated.
My question is this: If you were in the same situation, i.e. age difference and child situation, would you be in this relationship? Or do you see this as a fun and convenient way to get intimacy? | |
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| different stage in life...would you still date?
Posted: 6/1/2008 7:32:26 AM | most situations have something going against them, everyone has to compromise so i wouldn't put too much emphasis on your differences.
what would put me off is a man who has already made the decisions...
i think he sees it as a convenient way of getting what he wants without considering what's good for you. | |
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| different stage in life...would you still date?
Posted: 6/1/2008 7:52:45 AM | Well, if I were in your situation and at your stage in life, there would be no way on Gods green earth that I would waste my time with someone like that. Yes, I am sure he is all that and a bag of chips, but he has all but told you that you and your four year old aren’t worth very much in his eyes. He will continue to use you until something better (someone without a child) comes along or until he gets too old and needs a nurse maid (you). Man, I sound cynical and I am, however all one has to do it read the many, many threads in this forum to have my words and thoughts underscored.
Why don’t you continue to search for partner that will love you and your child and will be willing to treat you as an equal in stead of an easy diversion? You can still date him but don’t get complacent and then wake up to find that you have let ten years pass, because honey he will move on and you will only be ten years older…….
Try moving through life without the blinders... | |
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| different stage in life...would you still date?
Posted: 6/1/2008 9:53:06 AM | | OP, No way in the world. He's pretty much told you what kind of relationship you're in. He won't marry you. He doesn't want to live near you. He does like the sex, though. | |
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| different stage in life...would you still date?
Posted: 6/1/2008 9:57:09 AM | I think the question is what are you looking for?
we were out for dinner the other night and during the conversation he commented that he knew he would never get married again (he is a widower).
Are you looking to get married one day? If the answer is 'yes', you need to bail before your feelings get all tied up. If not, this is not an issue.
He also said that he felt that I and my son would never move to his town, (language thing).
Is it true? I see you are from Ottawa... do you speak french? I'm guessing his business is immovable, so he wouldn't move to be with you.
Think about where you would like things to go. If you are happy with things as they are, then be happy! If you want things to go further, you need to think about what you are willing to compromise if that were to happen. | |
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| different stage in life...would you still date?
Posted: 6/1/2008 10:05:37 AM | You didn't say how long you've been seeing him...may not be that relevant.
He's already decided what he does and doesn't want.
You're seeing each other yet you say relationship. Have you both agreed to and verbalized that you're involved? You may be thinking relationship, he may be thinking dating.
He's enjoying it for what it is with no long term prospects from what you posted. If you're good with that, then enjoy it for as long as it lasts.
If that's not what you want, then you need to make a graceful exit and start looking for what you do want.  | |
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| different stage in life...would you still date?
Posted: 6/1/2008 10:34:26 AM |
Are you looking to get married one day? If the answer is 'yes', you need to bail before your feelings get all tied up. If not, this is not an issue.
Yeah... that's pretty much the only issue I could see there being. It's not like he's being dihonest and stringing you along. | |
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| different stage in life...would you still date?
Posted: 6/1/2008 4:16:02 PM | First of all you are getting sex; not intimacy; this guy has made you know he's not into anything extreme right now.
I wouldn't be in it but again, everyone is different. If you know its not going to the extra mile then go for it. Dont expect to change him; he's older and he's not changing any time soon. | |
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| different stage in life...would you still date?
Posted: 6/1/2008 4:39:10 PM | | Different Stages --uhm seems it should be a great red flag for you to realize that you should find yourself a DIFFERENT PERSON! But then some people love to cast their real life as if it were part of a bad soap opera. | |
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