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Show ALL Forums  > Illinois  > GUYS: You say you want to meet a woman, then you blow it off, WHY?      Home login  
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 pyranna38
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 1
GUYS: You say you want to meet a woman, then you blow it off, WHY?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I would like to know why you men who claim to be so nice, respectful, honest and will respond to anything.... state that you are interested in meeting certain women and then completely blow us off? I am a great person - I have NEVER been unfaithful, I am very family oriented, I love my friends, I am a huge sports fan!! I make the best out of any and all situations that I can....

If you really don't want to meet us - then why give us false hope? Don't waste our time.. or yours, for that matter. So riddle me this: why do you do that?

Thanks, can't wait to hear back from you!!
 sarahismygirl
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 2
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GUYS: You say you want to meet a woman, then you blow it off, WHY?
Posted: 6/1/2008 1:43:47 PM
i can't speak as to the mindset of whomever has treated you this way, but one simple question can be asked... was we worth it? actions speak much louder than e-mails or text messages. I can't cast the first stone, but I've found myself asking "what if the doubts you are having do manifest?"

would it be easier to have met, maybe have some feelings for the guy, THEN have the communication stopped?

my penny, you get what you pay for :-)
 singleblueeyedmale
Joined: 3/19/2008
Msg: 3
GUYS: You say you want to meet a woman, then you blow it off, WHY?
Posted: 6/1/2008 9:53:49 PM
that depends, some guys can get cold feet at almost anything, some are shy and hide behind their keyboard and monitor.

having been accused of cheating, and having been cheated on, and watched it destroy a great group of friends, sometimes it isn't worth it to get into a serious relationship without open and honest communications. trust is one thing, but you have to talk about your desires and feelings.

I can honestly say I have never stood a person up on a date, nor have I backed out of meeting someone.

If guys are setting up meetings and dates with you and backing out or canceling, then they are likely not right for you, I would guess they are not as nice as they typed themselves up to be.
 PRETTYMANDY
Joined: 1/21/2008
Msg: 4
GUYS: You say you want to meet a woman, then you blow it off, WHY?
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:49:04 PM
HELLO NICE TO MEET YOU, IM A WOMAN AND I CAN ANSWER THAT QUESTION VERY EASILY, MEN ARE VERY INSECURE,THEY EXPECT US TO CHASE THEM, I WONT CHASE THEM CAUSE I CAN WAIT FOREVER FOR MR RIGHT, I WANT TO BE CHASED,OTHERWISE THEY CAN KISS MY BUTT, LOL LOL LOL........................
 Karrpilot
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 5
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GUYS: You say you want to meet a woman, then you blow it off, WHY?
Posted: 6/2/2008 7:36:49 PM
We men are insecure? How about you ladies who refuse to post a picture? Your wait for Mr. Right just might be forever.
 searchingforhim
Joined: 5/8/2007
Msg: 6
GUYS: You say you want to meet a woman, then you blow it off, WHY?
Posted: 6/3/2008 7:20:49 PM
I have lots of photos posted and I agree that there are some great guys on the site, but they do seem to want the ladies to chase them. I personally pass them by. Its not that I necessarily want to be chased, but if two people are looking to have a relationship and get to know one another, it generally requires some type of commincating, right? If the men decide they find the right woman to build some type of relationship with, than it will actually take some effort on their part, on everyone's part. I have no doubt that all men are not like that, but its hard to find those willing to make the effort! Laurie
 honest city gal
Joined: 4/21/2008
Msg: 7
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GUYS: You say you want to meet a woman, then you blow it off, WHY?
Posted: 6/6/2008 10:33:49 PM
Karrpilot.. I don't have a picture up. Because of my Job .I knew I was taking a risk with no Photo. I have had pretty good replies. Ok some frogs, but it has been fun.Mr. Right will appear only if he is meant to be...Have a great Day!!!
 Matthew2785
Joined: 9/26/2006
Msg: 8
GUYS: You say you want to meet a woman, then you blow it off, WHY?
Posted: 6/9/2008 6:53:43 AM
The whole wanting to be chased thing goes both ways... It is give and take everyone wants to feel needed; I mean who doesn’t want to be needed. But I think it is wrong to stand someone up! If you’re going to make plans then keep them... First dates are all about making an impression.
How much to you communicate? Is he the one texting you in the morning to say he was thinking about you? Are you the one texting him in the morning? Do you say good night? I mean if you only talk every couple days then he probably didn’t think you were that interested. But he as a guy should have confirmed plans the day of if that was the communication base. That sucks… Sorry to hear that :( some guys just kill it for all of us…
 new-waters
Joined: 4/2/2008
Msg: 9
GUYS: You say you want to meet a woman, then you blow it off, WHY?
Posted: 6/17/2008 5:39:17 PM
OK, I'll throw some science on to the fire.

A study was done (I know, there's always a study) that pretty much confirms what you know whether you realize it or not.

Basically, men very easily mistake romantic overtures by women as friendship. Also, men treat the cold reception as an invitation for more; the coy response, I guess.

So, welcome to the friend zone. Guys hate being in the friend zone, especially when they are interested. Guys almost never get out of the friend zone. Ladies, all you have to do to get a guy out of the friend zone is tell him. Yes, that exposes you to rejection; welcome to the testosterone side of the teeter-totter. :)

I'm sorry about your specific encounter. Give me a name and a place and I'll show up and say I'm him.

I am not a scientist. No part of this post is meant to be scientific advice. Every scientific situation is unique and you should hire a scientist to examine your specific set of circumstances.
 pyranna38
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 10
GUYS: You say you want to meet a woman, then you blow it off, WHY?
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:05:12 PM
Thanks for your study, new-waters! It is appreciated, as is all of the above!

However, it was more than just ONE specific encounter, I am sad to say. It is also not just myself. I know there are more people, men AND woman included.

If you are going to chat with someone and be encouraging to them that you would like to meet them, then you should actually do it. You don't blow them off. This isn't a place where you can play games with people. People are on here for a reaons - granted, some are different than others, but a reason none the less. You should be honest, upfront and adult about it if you are not interested. If you can't do that, then you should not be on this site wasting peoples time. Head over to the "Space".

Thanks for all of your opinions.
 CutTheCrapola
Joined: 11/3/2007
Msg: 11
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GUYS: You say you want to meet a woman, then you blow it off, WHY?
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:55:09 PM
Wat da hell u ramblin about?
 LifeIsShortSoBePositive
Joined: 6/12/2008
Msg: 12
GUYS: You say you want to meet a woman, then you blow it off, WHY?
Posted: 6/18/2008 7:40:44 AM
Or their wife or girlfriend found out they were on POF and had to cancel
 pyranna38
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 13
GUYS: You say you want to meet a woman, then you blow it off, WHY?
Posted: 6/18/2008 8:46:07 PM
Life is short - be positive...

If you have a wife or a girlfriend and you are on POF... Karma will meet up with you eventually. And trust me, my friend... LOL.... you WILL definately deserve whatever it is that you get!! Good luck, you will need it.
 Karrpilot
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 14
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GUYS: You say you want to meet a woman, then you blow it off, WHY?
Posted: 6/19/2008 7:17:33 PM
Maybe with the higher costs of fuel, food, AND dating lately, that is why some guys have blown you off. I can not say for sure. I am only speculating. Now i for one have never done that to a woman. Because it has been done to me many a time. And i certainly did not like it at all. I also agree with your karma statement. So cheer up. They will get what is coming to them. Eventually.
 RaySH
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 15
GUYS: You say you want to meet a woman, then you blow it off, WHY?
Posted: 6/20/2008 5:18:41 PM
Addressed to no one and everyone.

Men are mean and ugly sometimes. There is game a plenty going around on PoF. It isn't just men who play games. Why would a man blow you off? I wouldn't know. I don't even get a chance to talk to people on PoF. You females are far worse some times. Talk about give a guy a chance. I have never stood a person up in my life but that doesn't mean anything to you ladies. Why did you get stood up. Picking the wrong man? How did that happen... We'll you fall for the slick talk and promises that's how. A guy who's rough around the edges isn't a stalker or a wolf in sheep's cloths. It's not the unshaven man who's the treat, it's the guy you think is harmless and openly friendly. Ted Bundy didn't lure his victims to their deaths by being rough or average. He was well spoken and VERY friendly. All the women who became his victims thought, "now here's a guy I can take home to mom". My advice? Don't sweat the small stuff.

Plus, it doesn't matter how nice I am or how good I would treat you, all you want is someone who fits your idea of the perfect man.. While the perfect man is seeking the perfect woman...what I am sure most of you are NOT as I know I have faults plenty but I do work on them and not ask people to "Accept me the way I am"...get real work on your faults and be a better person. Don't just sit there content in your own self absorption and stink, get up and be a human being. I have never cheated on my Ex nor have I taken money from our accounts without talking about it first.Do you think that will make points with anyone? NO way.. I don't have enough money so I'm less than a person. Out of the 100's of email I have wrote only two people have responded. Why? Because I'm ugly and they don't want to say so? Because I don't make enough money to support them and their kids? Exactly what does it take to get a kind word from one single female on this site. I have even asked people to help me with my profile and do you think just one single women would take one second from looking for that man they want so much in order to help a person out? NOPE. All rude, nasty, ugly acting, inconsiderate, money grubbing, self centered, self involved, self absorbed people that I have ever had the displeasure of having contact with.

Na.. It isn't the guys here who're the problem. Let's see.. Was one of your FIRST questions to that man, "How much money do you make" I've been asked that at least ten times in two weeks, or did you say to him "I'm a gold digger, so what if you don't like it don't talk to me"? Well if you can't see what's wrong with being a gold digger and being self absorbed then nothing anyone tells you is going to make a difference and you 're going to remain a ugly human being. Ugly on the inside is far more unappealing than someone who's considered unattractive. I'm sorry. But just because you have female body parts doesn't exclude you from social niceties. So if this doesn't apply to you then there's something seriously wrong with the dude you were talking to. So don't sweat the small stuff. Talk to guys like myself who'll keep their word.
Just my two cents.
Peace, Love, Respect,

Gabrial
 pyranna38
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 16
GUYS: You say you want to meet a woman, then you blow it off, WHY?
Posted: 6/20/2008 9:13:42 PM
AGAIN ...................................... just a minor clarification.................................


I would like to clarify that it IS both men AND woman that do this (#1)

This post is not just for myself (#2)...... BELIEVE IT OR NOT (although you more than likely will NOT) .............in reference to your posts being phrased "who blew you off" or "I don't know why that guy wouldn't want to meet you" .... Please keep it more general..

I am simply trying to find out why guys (and girls) would bother being on this site if they are only going to make plans to meet people then not do it or just play games...
I think this is about the end of this post... I appreciate all of your input..

Take Care of You & Happy Fishing!!!

 itsme0508
Joined: 5/21/2008
Msg: 17
GUYS: You say you want to meet a woman, then you blow it off, WHY?
Posted: 6/23/2008 2:42:04 PM
RIGHT ON SISTER! YOU SAID IT LOUD AND CLEAR!!!!!!!!!
 Ann Dolly
Joined: 1/21/2007
Msg: 18
GUYS: You say you want to meet a woman, then you blow it off, WHY?
Posted: 7/13/2008 8:02:43 AM
Pyranna; I must be fortunate, in 16 months on POF has not happened to me. I try to get to know the person by phone and here prior to meeting. There have been numerous people I thought I'd like to meet or visa versa & decided not to.
I think if people men & women alike would "lighten up" not make so much of a first meeting having to lead to a relationship; It would be much more enjoyable.
I do not have to be ms Right nor does he...just get out and mingle, enjoy life & the good people in it! I find because I'm assertive men like it. Why should anyone chase the other. Just enjoy each other put the score cards away!
Just a note from ole hen who has learned life best lived not so seriously.
Good luck lil sis!
Ann :modhammer:
 Ann Dolly
Joined: 1/21/2007
Msg: 19
GUYS: You say you want to meet a woman, then you blow it off, WHY?
Posted: 7/13/2008 8:19:49 AM
Cake471...
Cake........
I looked at your profile; think your profile, it is good accept music selection might be reconsidered. Physically you are attractive especially if you could get picture with a smile. Picture looks like your ticked off at someone or something.
I tried to e mail you but would not go through as you have blocked ladies living an unacceptable distance. For your information I have assisted several gents to re-write thier profiles. Yours is fine. Just consider smiling picture & reconsider music score.
Best of luck to you
 TheLadyKim
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 20
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GUYS: You say you want to meet a woman, then you blow it off, WHY?
Posted: 7/20/2008 7:03:11 AM
Gabrial,

I looked at your profile. Let me make some suggestions on how you can spruce it up and perhaps you will meet someone who you can relate to.

First, your limitations wouldn't allow me to answer you directly but forced me to respond in an open forum. I guess it's because I'm more than 75 miles from you? Try removing some of those limitations and you might open yourself to new people.

Second, your comments sound very negative. I know we've all had bad experiences with people on dating sites, but you have to keep up your positive energy. Negativity draws negativity.

Third, your photo shows your face in shadows, which is not becomming for anyone. Try having a photo done where you can actually see your eyes and your smile. The background is nice in the one you have, but the shadows are causing you to look less than attractive, adding lines to your face and the color isn't good. (I could help with that if you like, just contact me directly.)

Fourth, your profile tells me nothing about you or what you're looking for. Give us a chance, tell us something about you and be straight up about what you're looking for. There are lots of game players on all dating sites, one has to learn to weed the garden, so get out your trowel and start weeding.

Everyone says they're honest, but the sad fact is that a lot of people aren't honest with themselves, so it's darned hard to be honest with others. Be honest with yourself, what are your strengths and what are your weaknesses (you don't have to post them, just make a note of them for your own use). Ask yourself the hard questions, What is it you Truly Want? Stay away from talking about what you Don't want, because chances are you'll get exactly that.

Don't rush it! Get to know somoene online before you jump in with both feet. Chances are that if you pay attention to the email or IM you get from someone, you can find out if they are real or memorex. Reserve judgement until you have enough facts to make a real decision. Some people will put their best foot forward until you meet them, then they let it all hang out. Thats not fair, but it is a fact. So watch for inconsistencies in the things they tell you and ask the hard questions.

I hope this will help. My intention is to help, not to hurt your feelings, so please take what I have said here in the spirit it was intended, just plain honesty.

Take care, Be well, and Blessings,
TheLadyKim
 janlee
Joined: 10/3/2007
Msg: 21
GUYS: You say you want to meet a woman, then you blow it off, WHY?
Posted: 7/20/2008 11:48:42 AM
great advice Kim. Sometimes in our haste to find someone to do things with we don't take enough time to look for things that aren't in our own best interests. There are alot of very nice people that are single and looking for someone and sometimes it gets discouraging but we can't give up. If we do then we have cheated ourselves.

Cake...you are more than 75 mile from me..but I wish you lots of luck in your search for someone to spend time with. As I do all of US.

janlee
 LifeIsShortSoBePositive
Joined: 6/12/2008
Msg: 22
GUYS: You say you want to meet a woman, then you blow it off, WHY?
Posted: 7/22/2008 12:17:25 PM
IN response to "And trust me, my friend... LOL.... you WILL definately deserve whatever it is that you get!! Good luck, you will need it."

I'm offended that you even assume I am married or have a girlfriend. If I did, I wouldn't be on here. Good luck to YOU!

Mike
 bopit4ever
Joined: 3/22/2008
Msg: 23
GUYS: You say you want to meet a woman, then you blow it off, WHY?
Posted: 7/22/2008 5:45:59 PM
Men expect women to chase THEM?

Um..try the other way around - You really have no clue about men if you really believe THAT nonsense.
 eeyore0922
Joined: 2/20/2008
Msg: 24
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GUYS: You say you want to meet a woman, then you blow it off, WHY?
Posted: 8/7/2008 6:51:55 AM
there could be a number of reasons that a guy stands you up. it says alot about him as a person. you could almost thank him for letting you know he's an ass. too bad you didnt pick up on it sooner. but better than later.
and what does it really matter. just move on to the next one.
 eeyore0922
Joined: 2/20/2008
Msg: 25
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GUYS: You say you want to meet a woman, then you blow it off, WHY?
Posted: 8/7/2008 6:53:20 AM
that goes for you men that have been stood up also.
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