| what to do? and how to do it....
Posted: 6/1/2008 1:11:43 PM | Ok, in need of some advice here. I started dating a guy I met off here after spending about 3 months chatting on msn, everything was great, he was great just great, only one problem was that he doesn't have a lot of time. He has recently been promoted at work and doesn't always get his days off as he should. I think we went out about 7 times and each time was just wonderful, I went about 4 weeks without seeing him for one reason or another, working/previous engagement with family or friends (which you can't deny someone to be honest) but I asked him if things were likely to get any better, i.e if he would get more time/more time off at work etc and he said that he didn't know, so I told him that I thought it best if we called it a day before I ended up getting hurt as I really do like this guy, cupid really shot an arrow in my arse here. Anyways he has still been talking to me, well texting me, every day and I can't get him out of my head at all, to the point where I would like to give it another go. People do long distance relationships and manage with not seeing each other often right? So I figure that if others can do it then why can't I?
But I do not know how to go about telling him this, I was the one that called it a day with him so I don't think that "I miss you" would cut it as if I was him I would reply with "well you ended it", the other thing is the more I like someone the more shy I am with them I don't know why but I tend to just be the giddy school girl who can never say what she wants to incase she makes them think badly of her if you know what I mean. Any ideas how I got about this? or do I just try to get over it and find someone else?
p.s if you want to write me a dialogue of what to say that would be good lol
any advise at all would be appreciated, thanks | |
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| what to do? and how to do it....
Posted: 6/1/2008 1:27:24 PM | Call him and talk to him. Ask him if he's willing to give it another try. Tell him how you feel. Either he'll go for it or he won't. Shyness or not, if you believe in the idea it might work in the long haul, you are going to have to put forth the effort to find out how he feels about it.
Either that, or get over it. | |
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| what to do? and how to do it....
Posted: 6/1/2008 1:46:02 PM | I say give it one more shot. Call him, tell him what's up and how you are in to him. If that doesn't work. Find someone else. "Plenty of Fish" rightlol Don't let it get you down, there is for sure another guy that will sweep you off your feet like he did, only the next one should be there for you, just have to keep looking  | |
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| what to do? and how to do it....
Posted: 6/1/2008 2:05:40 PM | | + 1 to what the other posters said. It sounds like he is still interested, let him know what he's thinking and see if there's a way you can work around each other's schedules. | |
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| what to do? and how to do it....
Posted: 6/1/2008 2:14:37 PM | Thanks guys,
well I have taken the plunge and put myself on the line (first time I have ever made myself this vunerable lol)
Anyways I have sent him an e-mail as he is at work and it is a case of now or never plus I prefer to do things in writing as
1- it requires less courage but more importantly
2- You can deliberate more about what you are saying and how you are wording it and
3- it also gives the other person to think about their response rather than being put on the spot.
So fingers crossed for me please, and I am really hoping that I have good news waiting for me when I get up in the morning
I could do with a very large drink now lol | |
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| what to do? and how to do it....
Posted: 6/1/2008 6:15:46 PM | You certainly are stuck in the ecstasy of pain.
Think on this if you will.
You were unhappy with not spending more time with him.
To the point you couldn’t endure it any longer and you broke it off.
He told you it would probably not change.
How long before you’re unhappy again with not seeing him.
Unless your personality has changed I would guess quite soon.
Some people do have successful long distant relationships.
The question is, are you that kind of person.
Do you want to be that kind of person.
Love is like any other addiction; withdrawal hurts.
Having said that, regret can hurt more.
At lest you have an idea what you’re walking back into. | |
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| what to do? and how to do it....
Posted: 6/1/2008 7:57:19 PM | Be honest Be honest Be honest and..... be patient be patient be patient.
It seems to me your vision is short term..... so what if he is busy....it may only be for several months or so...... and you just up and bail ? Did you stop to have a serious sitdown with him and put all your and his cards on the table concerning your feelings for each other ?
What have you showed him ? That whenever he gets busy you will pull the plug ?
Did you ever stop to think about being *** supportive *** of him during this busy time in his profession ? You only thought about YOU. How is that for making a good partner and mate ?
What if the role was reversed and it was you who got a little busy with work and your partner bailed on you. How would you feel about it ?
IMHO...... call him.... yes CALL HIM ON THE PHONE and ask for a person to person, face to face talk. OR........... if that is a little too heavy for you, may I strongly suggest hand writing a letter and mail it to him. Yes, thats right, the ol fashioned way....a hand written letter...........it will have a lot more meaning to it and carry much more weight than an e mail. A handwritten letter really puts the personal touch in something as personal as your relationship with him....
Peace | |
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| what to do? and how to do it....
Posted: 6/1/2008 9:12:32 PM | Breathe in, Breathe out.
Relax your shoulders.
Clear your mind.
Now ask yourself this. "What do I want? How do I get it?"
Feel free to ask yourself other big questions too. | |
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| what to do? and how to do it....
Posted: 6/1/2008 11:05:59 PM | You are asking how to change your lifestyle and attitude to accept the amount of attention this man has to offer. Will you be happy waiting hand and foot for handouts? Will you resent waiting or changing all your habits and plans to suit HIS schedule?
These are hard questions that probably can't be answered without going through the process and giving it a shot. I think the biggest and most important questions are:
Can you endure a broken heart if the effort is too much for the reward?
Can you endure breaking HIS heart because you had to leave?
If the answer is YES to both questions, then GO FOR IT. It's hard to take that plunge, but how many chances do you get to really have a special relationship?
It may be cliche' but is it better to have loved and lost than to scan POF profiles for years on end? | |
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