| Why do they show up just when you are making progress?
Posted: 6/1/2008 7:16:49 PM | Ever wonder if your ex's have a 6th sense and just seem to come around when you think you are making progress with getting over them.
I called things off with someone I was dating a few months ago, I moved on but did not get involved with anyone because I wasn't certain I was ready. But just when I started making progress, he calls!!!!! It was my birthday and he said he wanted to say Happy Birthday. But why did he really call? Just to stir it up again? Guys ---- do you have any answers as to how you operate? | |
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| Why do they show up just when you are making progress?
Posted: 6/1/2008 7:22:04 PM | Well I must say that I thought it was the woman's ability to appear as if from nowhere!
I can't offer a specific reason for your situation except to say that I will bet you have done the same thing to someone from your past w/o knowing exactly what you were doing.
It is a funny yet very maddening phenomenon. | |
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| Why do they show up just when you are making progress?
Posted: 6/1/2008 8:56:14 PM | | They seem to know when you're making progress, probably because you move on and you stop calling, texting, whatever it is you do. They realize there's a space in their life where you used to be, and then they feel the need to poke back in just to "see how you're doing." It happened to me on Valentine's Day this year. I feel for ya. It's frustrating as hell. | |
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| Why do they show up just when you are making progress?
Posted: 6/1/2008 10:16:21 PM | And women say we do not remember special events... lol.
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Hey, now thats funny....hopefully we can remember special events before breaking up.
An ex can call for a few reasons (and I make the ASSUMPTION, they were nice folks, and not meth addicts, alcohlics, abusers, or repeat cheaters, etc).
1. They may think its a nice jesture, if its months later, they should have gotten over any "ulterior motives" to get back together.
2. He/she may want to get back together, and after weeks or months, think, THIS IS THE DAY! Almost like an alcoholic who avoids drinking for a long time, and then finally says "I gotta do this" or I'll burst.
3. I don't think they call to cause trouble. or they could do that every single day until the restraining order gets issued.
Thats all I can think of | |
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| Why do they show up just when you are making progress?
Posted: 6/2/2008 3:14:32 AM | | Happened to me just this morning...kind of. She is the one that ended it. fourth or fifth time. This time was very different including her moving out of state. So I am begining to move on. Have not dated as of yet, but am talking to several potential dates. (hate that term "dates") Anyway, this morning I wake to an e-mail from her. It was in response to a week old one I wrote to her. so I wonder...Why even respond if not right away? What possessed her to bother doing it now. No, it was not a hint she wants back in. In fact, it was kind of cold sounding with her, " I wish you well and hope each day gets better" or something like that. To me, it just opens the healing wounds. | |
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| Why do they show up just when you are making progress?
Posted: 6/2/2008 10:33:37 AM | Anyway, this morning I wake to an e-mail from her. It was in response to a week old one I wrote to her. so I wonder...Why even respond if not right away? What possessed her to bother doing it now. No, it was not a hint she wants back in. In fact, it was kind of cold sounding with her, " I wish you well and hope each day gets better" or something like that. To me, it just opens the healing wounds.
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Jim, you sent her an email first, that's breaking rule #1. Imagine what she thought; no wonder it took her a week, THATS AN EXPECTED time frame for replying to people you don't want to talk to. Thats why it was cold sounding, obviously. From now on, don't contact her, even if a meteor is headed to earth. | |
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| Why do they show up just when you are making progress?
Posted: 6/2/2008 10:53:08 AM | Ive had that happen and I think it is nice to say something to someone you used to care for ... Its like letting you know that everything is alright and we are friends ... but thats just my opinion ...
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| Why do they show up just when you are making progress?
Posted: 6/2/2008 2:47:08 PM | I have wondered about this too. You probably are just too fresh right now and do not have a guy to distract you.
I have an ex-boyfriend who calls my mother about me. He never calls me though. He asks what am I up to, how is she, etc. She never gives him my information and just passes his number to me. She won't change her phone number, because it is too easy and he only calls on my birthday and Christmas. | |
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| Why do they show up just when you are making progress?
Posted: 6/2/2008 9:23:51 PM | | Maybe he has gotten over you (as you were getting over him), and felt it was a nice friendly thing to do. I like having people wish me a happy birthday - it's nice that they think of me. Maybe he is ready to be friends. Maybe you need more time. | |
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| Why do they show up just when you are making progress?
Posted: 6/2/2008 9:41:34 PM | | I don't know how long you 2 were together and other than saying he wanted to wish you a "Happy Birthday", I don't have much to go on. Just maybe, he really wanted to wish you a "Happy Birthday" and you are reading something else into it, or maybe he wanted to check your pulse and see if there might be something left. Not knowing what you all had or didn't have, no one can really say what he was doing. At least he remembered your birthday, I don't even remember what I had for breakfast this morning. | |
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| Why do they show up just when you are making progress?
Posted: 6/3/2008 4:24:05 PM | Do you still have feelings for him?? if no then pretend it was a random thoughts--and continue to move on OR you should tell him directly that he should STOP contacting you in any forms and to leave you alone.Who knows when youre fully recovered by the break up you can be friends again but not now as you are recovering for the loss of the relationship.
JMHO. | |
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| Why do they show up just when you are making progress?
Posted: 6/3/2008 5:17:52 PM | In response to the several. we dated exclusively for about a year. It was not great but it was a work in progress. We were talking about living together and shortly after I called things off because I wasn't getting what I wanted from him with respect to becoming a part of my life.
When he called, he did not say Happy Birthday right away, he started to explain why he had slept with another woman 2 weeks after I called things off. He wanted to hash out his actions since we split.
I finally have said, don't call me if all you want is to be friends because I can't be that. I haven't heard from him since but my gut is telling me that is not the last I will hear from him. My gut tells me that, he would only want to defend his actions if he wanted to explore options of getting back together.
Does anyone agree with this? | |
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| Why do they show up just when you are making progress?
Posted: 6/3/2008 10:41:49 PM | I have an ex that would pop up out of nowhere all the time.
I would joke around with him that he must have a sixth sense because every time I was missing him or feeling down my phone would ring and it would be him. This would be after weeks or months of us not speaking.
We finally had a very public falling out several months ago and I haven't heard from him since. I'm hoping that we are finally through for good. | |
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| Why do they show up just when you are making progress?
Posted: 6/4/2008 2:38:24 PM | | The last 3 men I was with have called or left email about 6 months after the breakups. I tell them that my new boyfriend wouldnt be too happy about that, and then they realize that there is no more chance of reconciliation. I dont know why men do that. I have never called an ex back after a break up. Maybe they do that cause they realize what they had too late, or are they just hoping for a quick fix cause they are lonely and hoping youll sleep with them? | |
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| Why do they show up just when you are making progress?
Posted: 6/4/2008 7:17:50 PM |
But just when I started making progress, he calls!!!!!
And? My ex calls quite frequently... doesn't stop my progress. What exactly are you getting at? Yeah, if you don't want him to call, tell him to stop calling. But if you're not interested in a relationship with him, why does a call make a difference? Is a voice on the telephone stronger than your own will? | |
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| Why do they show up just when you are making progress?
Posted: 6/4/2008 7:28:20 PM | | The voice on the other end of the phone call is my weakness. That's the problem. Just when I am making progress and have let some of the anger/hurt goes, he calls. Why? It wasn't to say happy birthday, it was either to absolve himself of some guilt or for another reason. Only a guy will know, but then this guy is no ordinary guy. | |
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| Why do they show up just when you are making progress?
Posted: 6/5/2008 4:45:36 PM | | It seems you called it off in the first place. Maybe he didn't entirely agree with your decision and liked you more than you liked him. If so, he probably does think of you and your birthday was an opportunity to call. He obviously hasn't forgotten you or your birthday. He would be better off forgetting about you if you're no longer interested in him. | |
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