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| I want a critc, but please not too harsh.
Posted: 6/2/2008 3:07:42 PM | I've always enjoyed writing profiles, and creating my own...yet I know there are always things that could possibly be added or changed.
Let me get your input, I may or may not change what you suggest..but either way I'll appreciate your advice nonetheless.
Thank you! | |
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| I want a critc, but please not too harsh.
Posted: 6/2/2008 3:35:22 PM | Woah, you're adorable! Well written profile. You come accross as an ideal girl! cant think of anything to critique, maybe ummm you could tell us a little about what music you like | |
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| I want a critc, but please not too harsh.
Posted: 6/2/2008 7:26:29 PM | Pretty good, just a few thoughts...
I get what this sentence means, but I had to read it a bunch of times to get the meaning. I think you should consider rewording or breaking it into two sentences.
I just want a guy who understands that women deserve to be treated better than most men treat them and a guy who I can just have fun with.
I very quickly saw about 30 bands in your list that I'm also a fan of, but even then I couldn't make it through the list. It might be a good idea to list only one or two from each genre.
I liked that you listed bands you didn't like, this makes for an easy conversation starter.
Good luck,
Snu | |
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| I want a critc, but please not too harsh.
Posted: 6/2/2008 8:58:18 PM | Holy Interest List, Batman!
In the interests of being 'not too harsh', and because you may or may not listen to me anyway (by your own admission), I'll keep this down to a few of the most obvious things:
Pictures: You have no cheekbones in your current main, due to the way that the light is hitting you. I'd suggest using the 'smile' shot (if you like your v-bangs) or the 'innocence' one. We don't need to see your car. And overall, the gallery is very repetitive; same framing, different emotion. More variety in composition would be helpful.
Interests: you want 12-20. 5 is too few. Sixty is too many. Trim yours to the 20 that are most interesting, and best describe you... it's not supposed to be exhaustive, or exhausting to read.
About Me:
- The comprehensive list of 'every band who ever played a song I sort of liked' really tells me nothing about you, and nobody -- nobody -- is going to read it all. The wall of text just makes peoples' eyes glaze over. Take that out, and also the bands you hate.
- Also delete all references to Yahoo or AIM or MSN before someone sees it and reports you, and your profile gets deleted. Those are against the site rules.
- Negativity -- things you aren't, don't want, haven't done, don't like, or rants about how men have done you wrong in the past -- are not good things in a profile. Go through and remove all those.
Good luck. I hope this helps. | |
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| I want a critc, but please not too harsh.
Posted: 6/2/2008 10:59:20 PM | Well, these guys have already hit the big issues. Having a big interest list is fine, people can find your profile by searching lots of different things. But that band list has got to go. However big a music fan you are, knock it down to a top 10. Change it around once in a while if you get bored.
Your profile as a whole is long on fact, but short on personality. The "What I'd Prefer" section is the only part that gives some sense of you as a person; I'd remove a lot of the negativity and try to expand a bit on that, and your "What I'm About" too.
Finally, individually your pictures are fine (except the car one... no offense, but nobody cares about that), but all very similar. I now have a wonderful sense of what the top of your head looks like, but throw in a normal-angle face and full body shot.
Good luck! | |
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| I want a critc, but please not too harsh.
Posted: 6/3/2008 12:46:44 AM | Bookrat and hendo have already listed most every suggestion I thought of and a few I didn't.
It is superfluous. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long, too many lists, too many negatives, and too harsh...
You say "I want a critc, but please not too harsh." in your title, yet in your profile you say "By the way, if I find you unattractive, I am definitely going to tell you so". Why is it ok for you to be harsh and inconsiderate to others when you don't like being on the receiving end?
Re-read what you wrote as if a guy had written it. Wouldn't all those negatives be a turn off? Have a look...
I don't think a girl who has yellowed teeth is in any way attractive, nor do I think that a girl who tries to win guys over by telling them the size of her assets is attractive. I also cannot stand liars, people who steal, b----s , or people who play head games. I refuse to be involved with any of that, so if you fit into one of those classifications, you won't have much luck. I don't want to be hurt in relationships anymore, because after being hurt for a while it's the only thing you know and you just don't want to go through it anymore. So please, try to be a lady with some class, and try to be yourselves'. By the way, if I find you unattractive, I am definitely going to tell you so and if you've got children I'd rather not be involved. I just want a girl who understands that guys deserve to be treated better than most women treat them and a girl who I can just have fun with.
Would you date a guy who wrote that? (Its a rhetorical question. The answer is "no".) | |
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| I want a critc, but please not too harsh.
Posted: 6/3/2008 2:10:15 AM | I see you worked really hard on the profile but you do need to edit a little. Take out a little bit and if your profile still works, keep removing more. Pare it down till you feel that too much would be lost if you removed another word.
Save the list for the exchange of emails. | |
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| I want a critc, but please not too harsh.
Posted: 6/3/2008 6:00:18 AM | The profile tells me you are one dimensional and about as mature as one could expect from a nineteen year old.
Thankfully for you, there are plenty of guys in the 19-24 age bracket who are also one dimensional and about as mature as a nineteen year old, so you have not ruled yourself out of the game by any means!
Maybe one day you will realise there is more to life than the ability to cut and paste lists from iTunes and listen to music. In the meantime, good luck. | |
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| I want a critc, but please not too harsh.
Posted: 6/3/2008 8:05:22 AM | Excuse me crazytimes, but I have depth and personality.
Just because you don't see it doesn't give you a right to try and stereotype me based on my age.
If you want to get into that, most don't even think I'm nineteen when they first talk to me without seeing a photo.
And for the record, I never copied and pasted links from itunes, I wrote everything on my profile myself.
I take pride in listening to liking a variety of music.
I'm sorry that you may not be that open minded yourself.
As for everyone else, thank you for your tips and such. I'll work on taking more pictures, it's hard to get in a body shot when I'm the photographer. And as for my long lists and such, I think I'll keep them...that's part of what makes me different from others and their profiles. Perhaps I can find someone who has a list as well and it is consumed with many of the artists I listen to as well. I have high hopes for myself. I've had luck before, and just came back to this website not more than a week ago. Overall I might shorten my profile a tad, but nothing else is going to change. Thank you.
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| I want a critc, but please not too harsh.
Posted: 6/3/2008 2:26:59 PM | Jaysus fook.
Let’s start this off by getting this sucker back on track. OP, you asked for a review and you got lots of them. Some glowing and some not so much. I’ll give you a little insights here… mine won’t be very warm. Ack. You know, I just read the rest of your last message and you ask us to be open-minded and not to judge after you attack Uncle for his honest, and accurate, appraisal and then you say nothing is going to change aside from trimming down some fat. Well that’s enough for me. Good luck with this thing you call a profile. I’m not sure whether to feel sorry for the doormat you are going to attract or for you for attracting said doormat and not some smart, funny, witty, handsome, intelligent guy you ACTUALLY want. Again… good luck; you are most definitely going to need it honey.
If you decide you want to grow up a bit, change your attitude, and perhaps accept a little advice from those of us who know a thing or two about these sorts of things we'll accept your groveling then. Until then, I bid you adieu. | |
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| I want a critc, but please not too harsh.
Posted: 6/3/2008 5:09:24 PM |
Just because you don't see it doesn't give you a right to try and stereotype me based on my age.
If you want to get into that, most don't even think I'm nineteen when they first talk to me without seeing a photo.
Overall I might shorten my profile a tad, but nothing else is going to change.
So why ask for advice in the first place?
Tact aside, these dudes make some valid points. Remember, while you may actually *be* mature and intelligent, people on this site will only know what they see in your profile, so give some objective thought to how you portray yourself and what kind of guys you're hoping to meet.
Also, while I'm glad to not see your potty any more, I'd now assume that you're actually about 3'6", since every camera in the world is apparently 18" over your head. | |
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| I want a critc, but please not too harsh.
Posted: 6/3/2008 9:51:53 PM |
Excuse me crazytimes, but I have depth and personality.
You had precisely once chance to demonstrate it... and failed.
Just because you don't see it doesn't give you a right to try and stereotype me based on my age. Sterotype implies an over exagerated generalisation based on something that may or may not be true. Demonstrated maturity based on real age is not the same thing. When you get out of your teens you may have a better handle on it. No point in trying the huffy thing on me in the meantime.
If you want to get into that, most don't even think I'm nineteen when they first talk to me without seeing a photo. Oddly enough, I am yet to meet a 19 year old girl who does not think she is somehow more mature. Just accept your age and run with it, being 19 is not a bad thing in any way shape or form. Stop trying to be be all huffy again.
I take pride in listening to liking a variety of music. I take pride in completing my in degree, in looking after my family, in serving my country... you take pride in listening to music. Awesome.
I'm sorry that you may not be that open minded yourself. I have experienced things you cannot even imagine- and yet I realise that I have a lot more to learn and am barely knee high to a grasshoper still. Pull your head in a bit.
The moral is you need to add some personality to the profile. It means nothing that you can sit there with a pair of headphones on. | |
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| I want a critc, but please not too harsh.
Posted: 6/3/2008 10:44:02 PM | | You know what, I just realized that part of my post isn't going to make any sense, because I got your thread confused with someone else's. Just assume it's an inside joke. | |
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| I want a critc, but please not too harsh.
Posted: 6/5/2008 6:10:19 AM | Crazy:
I don't think being nineteen is a bad thing, but you trying to stereotype me as being "the average teenager" bothers me. We obviously have different priorities in life, and a large age difference.
At nineteen, I don't have a degree, a family, nor am I in the army. Firstly, I'm in college, trying for a degree, I don't see myself as old enough to raise a family and I can't serve my country because I have a brain hemorrhage.
Just because I haven't accomplished as much as you have with your life, doesn't mean that I can't in the future. You've got seven years on me.
You talk about maturity, yet you're trying to almost make it a competition.
You've done more in life than I have, because you are older and have the ability to. Congrats. | |
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| I want a critc, but please not too harsh.
Posted: 6/5/2008 6:50:27 AM |
I don't think being nineteen is a bad thing,
Neither do I, although the rest of your dribble revolves around your assumption I do.
That is okay, part of being 19 is ignorance and defensiveness. You are allowed to be like that. I know you will probably grow out of it. I hope you do sooner rather than later, but hey, have fun in the meantime.
Good luck with your brain haemorrhage too. Most people die when they bleed in that region for any period of time. You appear not to have. Dr House would be impressed. | |
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| I want a critc, but please not too harsh.
Posted: 6/6/2008 7:12:34 AM | | The internet is a wonderful tool. I did a search of your area and found one Walgreens in Delaware. Within about a 100 mile radio I found another 40 located in and around Columbus. However, people generally work around where they live and usually stay in the same area when they change jobs so to not shake their schedule too drastically. If I cross referenced Giant Eagles, Taco Bells, and Arby's I'm bound to find only a few that have combination of those in close proximity. You list your profession so it'd be very easy to drive around to 10 stores that I thought you might work at and peek my head into the photo lab or portrait studio. These are small departments and very open normally unless you work in the lab, but even then it's not difficult to peer in if it's in a different area. I bet if I came looking I'd find you in less than a day, providing you don't work super part time. And all it takes an internet creep to find someone quickly is a little charm and charisma, not to mention tact. They have a point... you should say what you do but saying the name of the place is rather bad juju. | |
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| I want a critc, but please not too harsh.
Posted: 6/6/2008 9:16:50 AM | Young people seem to get a hard time on here, probably because they are easy to play with :) - its starting to become boresome though, reading how people twist the daggers in with the hope the op will take the bait and when they do get all defensive and that wouldn't be so bad if people didn't jump on board with all the defending the people that are twisting the dagger in claiming they are just giving a good review when it is obviously sh1t..
Pretty funny all the same though it would be good to know how many posts you have made crazytimes where you say you are in the Army, every other it seems...
I get the impression he puts shrimps and burgers on the barbeque for the fighting men and women on the front line to munch on when they return from their patrols and as a token of being a good chef allowed to wear a uniform with a blow up doll girlfriend thrown in.... 
On topic; i would remove your paragraph below op as it is un-necessary and negative... You can write what you are looking for in a man but without scaring everyone away...
<div class="quote"> ~What I'd Prefer~
I would like to find a guy that shares some of the same interest as I do, yet is not exactly like me. I would also want him to be; kind, wholesome, handsome, funny, and a gentleman. I'm very open minded, yet am not very attracted to a guy who has yellowed teeth, or a guy who tries to win girls over by telling them the size of his goods. I also cannot stand liars, people who steal, jerks , or people who play head games. I don't want to be hurt in relationships anymore, because after being hurt for a while it's the only thing you know and you just don't want to go through it anymore. So please, try to be gentlemen, and try to be yourselves'. By the way, if I find you unattractive, I am definitely going to tell you so and if you've got children I'd rather not be involved. It's not like I don't like children, I just don't want to be caught in the drama.
Your song list is mahoosive - better to just write a smaller message with a few favourites with an added comment about enjoying music. You can always show people your music selection via email.
Your headline comes across that you are depressed, personally i would change it to something more happy..
Good luck amigo'ess either or... | |
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| I want a critc, but please not too harsh.
Posted: 6/6/2008 10:32:24 AM |
Young people seem to get a hard time on here, probably because they are easy to play with :)
Young people seem to get a hard time on here because they (note generalization here)don't actually understand how to accept constructive criticism, plus they aren't actually taking the concept of internet dating very seriously.
This thread is a perfect representative sample: the OP was given six very helpful sets of comments and responded with "I might shorten it a little, but nothing else is going to change." (At least she was honest enough to say so up front, though.)
- its starting to become boresome though, reading how people twist the daggers in with the hope the op will take the bait and when they do get all defensive and that wouldn't be so bad if people didn't jump on board with all the defending the people that are twisting the dagger in claiming they are just giving a good review when it is obviously sh1t..
Part of the review process is feedback to the OP on how they are coming across. This OP was coming across as a narcissistic, self-absorbed 19 year-old, and Crazy said so. I did not see daggers; I saw an assessment. A harsh one, yes, but not one that was unilateral to him; everal other people chimed in to agree. When the OP took offense, and in doing so came back with posts that proved the perception to be right... that's when the hackles got raised.
I've heard a couple of reviewers mention that they just don't do comments on people under 25 because the time is better spent on those who will appreciate the help and take it seriously. I'm not quite there yet, but I can see where they are from where I am now. | |
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| I want a critc, but please not too harsh.
Posted: 6/6/2008 11:14:53 AM |
I've heard a couple of reviewers mention that they just don't do comments on people under 25 because the time is better spent on those who will appreciate the help and take it seriously.
That would be me, which is why I didn't originally review this OP, although not under necessarily under 25 -- generally just the teens. I find the younger the person is, the more time is likely spent trying to explain how to improve their profile plus the more likely it is that they will get angry about feedback plus the high probability they won't make any changes at all = conclusion: Exercise in futility. Time better spent elsewhere. | |
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| I want a critc, but please not too harsh.
Posted: 6/6/2008 12:17:06 PM | Bookrat you are right of course and i understand where you are coming from... My only critique is, she said on her original post that she may or may not change what is suggested to her, not everyone gives good advice so it is a fair answer.
Some people on pof are genuine A holes and deserve the grilling from all ages, though some people just get hammered for the hell of it..
crazytimes like most adults know how to press young peoples buttons and when they say they are more mature than others it is usually the same ol story, at the same time we are giving reviews on a young persons thread and on this post like others crazytimes to me appears to be exploiting that.
What he gives isn't helpful just some ranting crap on the youth and how she will grow up one day.. Well isn't that obvious... Youth are a handful and it is fun to hear them gob off back though the poster knows what they are doing to get that reply on how they write and crazytimes suddenly getting defensive (same old pattern - yawn!).
He is more of the, post good replys to the intellects and slag off the thick and the youth, in my eyes that doesn't make him sound like mr mature of the unniverse, though i am also not posting this to split opinions.
I can be narky etc but most my posts are in humour and i only pick on A-holes - my last post was a bit harsh with the army speal i just get bored hearing his speal on 'i'm mr successful Army lad.' Well good for you buddy thanks for telling us 1000 times, very useful hearing the same thing 24/7.
At the end of the day crazytimes stop being a pr1ck and write on here constructively like you have proved on here time and time again but without the useless bullying for no reason or spend more time with your family, do something constructive instead of aiming at putting others down when it suits you.
That said nothing else to add :)
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| I want a critc, but please not too harsh.
Posted: 6/6/2008 3:47:31 PM | OP, I get you. I wish I had your sensibilites when I was 19. While there really is some validity to the opinions expressed above ^^^, I loved your profile.
Some of your pics ARE redundant, but you have your own eclecticism. You're avant-garde, and you push the boundaries of innovation, with respect to art and culture. The mainstream is "to the left" in your profile certainly.
One of my biggest peeves with profiles is bad spelling and grammar. Yours is the exception; at 19, you excel, in fact. You've done a a good job of communicating TONE in your profile, but perhaps it is too subtle for some respondants at 19 to connect with. Are you sure you're not really 35? I've occasionally found that with profiles, you must sometimes state the obvious, as the oblique doesn't cut it. People responding to my ad sometimes miss the subtleties, and I am at a significantly advanced age as compared to you.
You mentioned something about being "life flighted" - what is that exactly? I think you've had some experiences that defined your life. Maybe some of them need more definition. I'm sensing that this is perhaps more important than some of the other text taking up space in your profile?
Your list of musical likes is rather too long. I did read it, but only because you asked for an evaluation. I agree on "My Chemical Romance," on an aside; I just don't like EMO. But it's still too long - you don't need a list quite that long to get your likes and dislikes across.
Best of luck to you...... | |
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