| When you are in the wrong market, what todo
Posted: 6/3/2008 8:30:53 AM | I am located in the Midwest "Wisconsin" and in a small town “2,000 people” the closest city is 20 miles ether direction the closest major city is over 100 miles away. The market here is not me at all; divorced over weight mothers with closed minds and a general education that thrive on gossip and talk shows. The only time that I am happy is when college is in session because the market changes for 6 months of the year, but see I am looking for a meaningful relationship not a hook-up or a date.
What should I do? My house is paid for, no other bills to speak of, and I don’t wish to move for these reasons. The young ones 20+ do not stick around unless their knocked up and the 30 some things are used up and have too much baggage / drama.
I now this will be a touchy subject but don’t hold back the punches
BEING MYSELF
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| When you are in the wrong market, what todo
Posted: 6/3/2008 8:41:17 AM | There was a totally ludacris post by a guy in another forum, asking if women were "jealous" of foreign brides. Really, he posted to vent about how he didn't get a date after 1 month on POF, and how American women were b*tches. The main reason the post was ludacris, was because this guy was obviously a jerk and no prize at all, even for someone running from the law, the mob, the plague and an abusive ex simultaneously.
However, in essence, it's a fine idea to travel and meet someone abroad when you're out of your comfort zone and more open to a connection. Wisconsin does have a very good university, so maybe you can take some language/culture classes and try and meet a woman oversees who wants to relocate. If it doesn't work out as planned,  at least you didn't sit at home bored with the day-time talk show chicks.  | |
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| When you are in the wrong market, what todo
Posted: 6/3/2008 10:20:06 AM | Hmm, I would have to wonder what you have to offer anyone in any area or any market? Judging from your spelling and grammar, you definitely arent educated (you put down women in the area for having a 'general education'). Looks like you arent in the best of shape (you put down women in your area for being 'overweight mothers'). Sounds like you arent willing to drive any distance at all to meet someone, so she is expected to come to you if she's over 20 miles away. Not sure what you consider 'used up and have too much baggage/drama'?
So what should you do? Change your attitude. Stop belittling people who dont meet your 'standards'. Change your looks, get in shape. Change your opinions of how you would benefit the market instead of the market having to cater to you. Maybe if you were a better catch, your 'choices' wouldnt be so limited.
Shall I continue? | |
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| When you are in the wrong market, what todo
Posted: 6/3/2008 11:04:34 AM | Just my opinion,
My uncle lives in Racene(sorry it may be spelled wrong but right sound) and there's no way I would live there. Unless you want to settle with a young one, MOVE!!! Interest rates are very low right now and don't believe they'll go down much further, maybe a quarter of a point, as they always do in a presidential election....so you may lose 10K on your selling price but you'll be happier with a better selection of women and depending upon your buying price, make up for the 10K with far less in interest payout.
Best
Wes | |
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| When you are in the wrong market, what todo
Posted: 6/3/2008 11:06:33 AM | When you're in the wrong market, you either improve yourself based on the demands of the few persons you want in that market, lower your standards or you find a new market.
If you're unwilling to lower your standards, then you're going to have to stand out more and become more assertive with how you attract the women you do want.
No offense, but you may wish to have your profile reviewed in the profile review forum. The people there may be able to help you tidy it up a bit since there are some grammatical errors. It also couldn't hurt to improve yourself overall to increase your chances with the few women you do want to associate with. Good luck to you. | |
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| When you are in the wrong market, what todo
Posted: 6/3/2008 11:20:27 AM | You remind me of the family of goat farmers on "there will be blood", Thier house was paid for and all they could grow was dirt, so they just sat there getting poorer until the smart son left town and found fame and fortune. The dumb son remained at home and prayed for salvation.
Nobody can help you if you can't help yourself... Obviously you can't so the gene pool thanks you.
Big AL | |
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| When you are in the wrong market, what todo
Posted: 6/3/2008 12:52:40 PM | Sam Kinison used to do a routine about living the desert and starving. The answer? Move to the food!!
I had an almost identical situation, lived for a while in a town of 1500 people in SW Minnesota. It was a wonderful place to get away from it all, but severely lacking in single social activities, especially for a guy born & raised in a large East Coast city, and used to that hustle and bustle. I tried spending weekends in St Cloud or Minneapolis, but came to the realization that I needed to move, and I did, and at least now I have more options (although about the same luck!  )
How about moving just a little father from where you are? You profile says you live in Madison, although I suspect you are not exactly in Madison. Why not try that city? From everything I've read recently on the subject, Madison is on of the nicest cities to live in anywhere in the US. What's more important to you, living comfortably but alone where you are, or expanding your social circle? Otherwise you're looking at importing a bride from a mail order service-good luck with that! | |
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| When you are in the wrong market, what todo
Posted: 6/3/2008 1:49:24 PM | Yes that been my problem for 2 years. I vacation and post here and talk on the phone. If a certain guy would ask me to come visit....I think I would look at plane tickets or fill up my gas tank but he is a wimp and hasnt asked. I dont think he would like to go cow tipping but California sounds like fun.
My friend lives in my town and he is seeing a lady that lives 2 hours away so they see each other on the weekends.
Where is your effort? | |
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| When you are in the wrong market, what todo
Posted: 6/3/2008 3:35:06 PM | I notice so many inconsistencies in your profile. You say you live in Madison. There are way more than 2,000 people, more like 220,000. The students only account for about 40,000. There are plenty of people with college degrees. There are bartenders with masters degrees and cab drivers with Ph.Ds. I have lived in Madison for 17 years. I stuck around after moving here at 19. I have never been pregnant, yet I still stuck around.
You say you are a law student, but you list your education as associates degree. How do you get into law school with a 2-year degree?
If you really hate it here, you can move. | |
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| When you are in the wrong market, what todo
Posted: 6/3/2008 7:25:25 PM | | You don't want to move because your house is paid for?!? I have heared it all now. If that is all that is keeping you there, sell the house, move, buy another house in the new city(sorry but to me 2000 people isn't a town, it is a neighborhood) | |
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| When you are in the wrong market, what todo
Posted: 6/3/2008 7:44:59 PM | | Your profile says Madison. You couldn't be too far away from there and Madison is large enough for plenty to date. Find professional women who don't mind a little bit of distance. There are intelligent, educated women in Wisconsin, it's just a matter of how hard you look to find them. | |
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| When you are in the wrong market, what todo
Posted: 6/3/2008 8:47:40 PM | | I didn't notice you lived in Madison. I looked it up and in 2006 there were over 200,000 people in the city, and more than 500,000 in the metro area. Out of all of those people you can't find one you would want to date? What exactly are you looking for in a woman? | |
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| When you are in the wrong market, what todo
Posted: 6/3/2008 10:26:27 PM | OP
If I were you, and ironically I am in a similar position, this is what I would do and am doing.
1. MOVE. Find a city that fits your needs as far as education and culture. I am using a cool website http://www.city-data.com/ I hope I don't get booted or banned for putting another website on here but it has been an invaluable resource for me in my search. It has many top listings based on different things as well as various data such as education levels, age, sex, marital status, etc.
2. Leverage your fully paid off home toward another home in your new location. You can do this in many ways. I won't go through all of them here because it is quite off topic.
3. Just do it! If you have tried every way possible to make the best of your environment and it still does not meet your needs or is not fulfilling it is past time to move. Be deliberate, be decisive and make it happen.
It will help you to recover a positive attitude that I can speculate has been destroyed at this point. A positive attitude will be required in the new location or history will repeat itself and you will only attract the undesirable women in the new location. | |
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| When you are in the wrong market, what todo
Posted: 6/4/2008 10:33:45 AM | | Every market's the wrong market inside your four walls. Heck I live in a metro area with five million people, and there's nobody but me in this house. You're already in the largest market on earth, POF. Just start expanding the on-line marketing area outward with the SEARCH feature on POF. | |
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| When you are in the wrong market, what todo
Posted: 6/7/2008 1:11:09 PM | | I feel gb300 was being a bit critical of the original poster - and some others just posted on his inconsistencies. There are really issues like his, as I share his concern. I moved to a small town (of 10,000) from a quite larger area and I've found it difficult to meet people to date as well. He does generalize about the people available in his town and maybe it isn't completely true - but it is a struggle in smaller towns if you have moved to one to better your work experience level (as I had). I probably won't stay for the same reason, but in the meantime I was also hoping to meet someone to share time with, but a year later I've learned there are a few ways to generalize the available men in this area as well. I won't say how though. | |
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| When you are in the wrong market, what todo
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:58:45 AM | The other folks have raised a point that it's not where you live as much as who you are. I've experienced that, moving from a growing mid-sized town to a backwater burg to one of the largest cities in my state. No matter where I go, it's still me. So I've been dateless in high school, dateless in college, dateless in small towns, and now dateless in the city. Meeting people is hard but the only alternatives are to enjoy the solitude or come on POF and get flamed for hating. I'm splitting the difference between 1 and 2. (Who really needs a girl when you have a good anime` anyways, right?)  | |
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| When you are in the wrong market, what todo
Posted: 6/8/2008 4:46:19 PM | OP: attitude is part of it. You make some strong generalizations in your post, especially the thing about baggage. I wouldn't draw conclusions based on the profiles you see on POF in your area.
But I think population density is also part of it, too. A very good friend of mine is married for 7 years and he met his wife on an online dating site, but he lived in Seattle. When I first signed up for a pay site 7 years ago, I was living in a small university town in Appalachia. The number of eligible matches that met my criteria were very low in the surrounding area. I would have had to travel 50+ miles to "date" women I thought were what I was looking for (no kids, decent job, ambition, financially responsible, etc.). It was a "free trial" and at the end, I suggested that they pro-rate the membership fees to correspond to the population density and the local economy.
Since I moved to Montreal, I must say a big city makes a huge difference. But, I didn't move here for the women, although I could say it could be a good reason.  | |
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| When you are in the wrong market, what todo
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:20:55 PM |
the closest city is 20 miles ether direction the closest major city is over 100 miles away
are you serious??? try living on a rock in the middle of the ocean like me | |
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| When you are in the wrong market, what todo
Posted: 6/9/2008 8:53:54 AM | | hmm i feel your pain as anyone can google ravenna, NE we do have about 1300 people closest town is 28 miles as for big city umm yeah a long ways lol. For some reason it still works for me not easy of course most things in life worth doing aren't. Just get off your butt and change your circumstances is what i believe the general consensus is. | |
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| When you are in the wrong market, what todo
Posted: 6/9/2008 4:52:20 PM | Amberkings, I simply stated facts. Lets review:
He didnt like the following:
Too much baggage: He cant move because he has a paid-for house.
Generic education: His spelling would make any remedial english teacher cringe.
Overweight/Physical appearance: Um, sorry, but he aint 'smokin!'.
Isnt willing to date anyone with children: Limited his choices tremendously with that.
My point was, that he criticized in others what was lacking in himself. And if he wants a better 'market', then he needs to be a better 'catch', otherwise, his choices will be limited anywhere he goes. And apparently he knew he was being rather obsurd because he expected us to 'throw the punches' or whatever. | |
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| When you are in the wrong market, what todo
Posted: 6/11/2008 7:08:25 AM | I'm in pretty much the same boat!
The only thing I can say is that the Universe works in mysterious ways,
and has for me, through POF! (Thanks POF). One could almost consider
it a miracle considering my location and situation!
REMEMBER! If you're like me, we only need ONE! That for me, kind
of puts things in a more favorable perspective! | |
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