| Wanna Know What is Breaking *my* Heart?
Posted: 6/3/2008 11:22:54 PM | Finally, after many many months of searching for someone, I come here, (cuz my brother recommended it) finally finding a few people my age who seem to be really great matches for myself, and finally getting enough confidence to talk to them and then I see an exciting "Message SENT" message, then waiting for days and days for a sign of acknowledgement, and nothing comes, only to check my sent mesages to find no history!(run on sentences are fun!) I don't know if its a problem with the messaging system, or if im just not up to these peoples standards. Really, i could handle it if they all just didn't like me. AT LEAST i could keep fishing, eh? But no im left to drift in limbo while I wait - It's torture. And of course i don't want to pester them with 15 "did you get my last message?" msgs, and just anger them (if it is in fact working).
I swear all my messages are in good taste and I meet there criteria regarding who can contact them.(Ive already had my nose in the tech support forum).
Can't I have just a bit of closure?  | |
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| Wanna Know What is Breaking *my* Heart?
Posted: 6/4/2008 1:26:56 AM | i suggest you do a thread search on this topic as it has been done over and over and over.
It happens to everyone, not just you. There's nothing you can do about it except keep fishing. I wouldnt bother messaging them 100's of times otherwise they'll probably get pissed off and block u.
Anyways, dont be suprised if people have a go at you for starting this thread. | |
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| Wanna Know What is Breaking *my* Heart?
Posted: 6/4/2008 3:32:14 AM | | its not the system, its just you... and them.. they don't want to respond, for whatever reason. each reason is probably different, so it's hard to give advice on what you should do differently. email different people? wait for them to email you? i dunno.. i don't think its anything to lose sleep over though, its just how it is. | |
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| Wanna Know What is Breaking *my* Heart?
Posted: 6/4/2008 4:30:34 AM | It never fails to amaze me that some people get so hung up about this messaging business.
Some people join a free "dating" site expecting it to instantaniously open up a new world of romantic opportunities for them,when this doesnt happen as they would like they throw their toys out of the pram,sulk and feel the need to vent their anger on the forums.Why?,what is to be achieved from this other than to appear bitter and angry individuals?.
If things like this really have a profound impact on the now departed OP,s life it is obvious that he probably isnt in the right frame of mind to be dating anyway.
Apologies if this sounds harsh!. | |
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| Wanna Know What is Breaking *my* Heart?
Posted: 6/4/2008 4:33:28 AM | there are probable causes
1. These people are actually looking for something different from you, even though they may seem like a match on their profile. Women often write something very generic and they may seem like a match but they are not.
2. They are picking up on your neediness as soon as you start messaging them. If you are needy then you probably just need more friends, and the chicks come second. for a while until you feel better.
3. Women with somewhat sexual profiles could get hundreds of messages in a week. Your message may not even have been read yet, or ever. | |
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| Wanna Know What is Breaking *my* Heart?
Posted: 6/4/2008 4:34:55 AM | | Hey brother you know things like this destroy good people like us. Check your sent message thingy not sure if you already said it and see if they read it and deleted it or what the deal was that will tell you if they read it and all that jazz. But in the case they just dont want to talk to you then i have found you should change it up a bit. If what your doing now isnt working change something change anything. Some people arent looking for true love or good hearted people and they are extremely shallow. I wont say i am not one of those people because my belief is that you have to be attracted to the person you love but maybe you should get some better pics up on there. When the fish arent biting change up the bait. Just a thought. | |
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| Wanna Know What is Breaking *my* Heart?
Posted: 6/4/2008 9:52:35 AM | | No picture no response its that simple. Why is that so hard for people to understand that some people get tons of emails a day and will not waste the time responding to someone they can't see. If your on a dating site without a picture there is a reason and it's never a good one. | |
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| Wanna Know What is Breaking *my* Heart?
Posted: 6/4/2008 10:53:20 AM | | I never respond to individuals without photos. Why get on an online dating site and not have photos. Like the OP said, there is usually a reason people don't post photos, and the reasons are usually not good. There was one guy that kept bugging me that didn't have photos. I asked him why and he gave me some lame excuse that he hadn't figured out how to use his camera yet. On his next message to me he asked for my private email address and said he would send picture to me there. My assumption is that when men do not post photos its because they are married. | |
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| Wanna Know What is Breaking *my* Heart?
Posted: 6/4/2008 11:16:52 AM | Caprilaura:
I don't have a photo on my profile and it isn't because I'm married. I am in the deep south and biracial. There are many people who upon seeing that I am brown want nothing more to do with me regardless(note I never lie about my ethnicity when filling out my profile). You might ask how I know or if it is just supposition, maybe it had nothing to do with that, maybe they just thought I was ugly etc. Many of them have actually told me that is the reason. If I had a nickel for every time I heard "That's just how I was raised" I'd have so much money I wouldn't care. There are several who will put that in their profile. All I can say is at least I don't waste time messaging them. As far as the others, I never know until I talk to them for a while. I have a female friend who told me she doesn't have a photo because she doesn't want to be judged by her looks. I do offer to email pictures and I actually do it. Its not always something sinister. | |
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| Wanna Know What is Breaking *my* Heart?
Posted: 6/4/2008 5:29:34 PM |
I am in the deep south and biracial. There are many people who upon seeing that I am brown want nothing more to do with me regardless(note I never lie about my ethnicity when filling out my profile). . . Many of them have actually told me that is the reason. If I had a nickel for every time I heard "That's just how I was raised" I'd have so much money I wouldn't care.
Wow man, after reading this bit a little part of me died inside. It boggles my mind to think that prejudice such as this still exists in this day and age. | |
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| Wanna Know What is Breaking *my* Heart?
Posted: 6/5/2008 1:14:24 AM | | Oh Geesh come on. First the im doesnt work on here. Second you dont need a pic to meet. Phone ads have no pics. Also, this person was just asking? You guys made him sound like he was a whiner.I think most of you guys are shallow and whine! | |
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| Wanna Know What is Breaking *my* Heart?
Posted: 6/5/2008 1:52:43 AM | | Here's a tip, stop torturing yourself. You need a more laid back attitude. Don't bother with the sent messages business. If you sent them a message you thought was adequate then delete it from the sent message box and put it out of your mind. If they message you back great, if not just keep 'a lookin'. | |
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| Wanna Know What is Breaking *my* Heart?
Posted: 6/5/2008 2:08:02 AM | I had no pic and everyone used to call me. A classic line was let me put a picture to the text I am reading. Women can be just as shallow. So I placed 3 now I can relax., no one calls any more, WHO Cares,
All I have to say if the woman wants you for your looks or the size of your wallet she is not worth it.
I cannot stand women who read my message and do not reply YET they do not delete the message I send. This is like going to a nightclub, you say “hello” to a girl and she looks at you, want say a word, but will tag behind you all night “DON'T you wish you could tell them to PISSOFF... “ Woman they all think what they want but they still play with dolls inside their heads, TIME TO GROW UP. Thus why they are divorced if the husbands had to cheat on them MATE they cannot love in the first place. Is this the woman you want?
Don't worry about it I say, what counts is how you see yourself, not how others see you.
Heres something for all you easy woman out there (SORRY GUYS) I am Latino so I can pick up ha! Ha! Ha!
What’s the different between a slut and a whore?
The slut is not a businesswoman.
Pretend you are gay and you see lots of tits works for me, I have more female friends then mate’s “mmmuah! luv yah!!” LMFAO | |
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| Wanna Know What is Breaking *my* Heart?
Posted: 6/5/2008 5:32:55 PM | | It's sad there are a lot of people out there that want a real relationship but unfortunately all of us have had a past and no matter how hard it is to put it in the past, we still have a habit of dredging it up ...you know we know from past experience what we want and what we don't want, and it has a habit of comming up in conversations no matter how hard we try...our past is what made us who we are...try not letting yourself talk about last relationships while you are just getting to know each other...they have a tendency to put up flags and walls... | |
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| Wanna Know What is Breaking *my* Heart?
Posted: 6/5/2008 5:51:50 PM | | here's what you do love. cannot have great expectations because this is real life we are talking about. if you find a bloke you want to email and you do and he doesn't answer, screw him. move on because he probably wasn't worth it in the first place. If I did that btw and got no answer I would move on. this site is plenty of fish and there a lot of them swimming around... keep it real, just be yourself and you never know what you might catch..;-) | |
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