| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/4/2008 7:57:49 AM | Lately it seems like dating is becoming a patience game to me.
What are the rest of you people doing while you wait for Ms. or Mr. Right to cross your path?
Some fishies tell me they have given up making active moves to try to find someone. They are trying to just keep on living a single life (or a single parent with kids life) while doing their best to enjoy themselves as active singles. These folks seem to be getting out and socializing and going to events, etc. But they mostly come home empty handed.
Is this like going fishing and getting skunked? They seem to feel that if it happens that they meet someone ... well then they'll be pleasantly surprised.
How do you feel? | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/4/2008 8:44:53 AM | Well it just take time, I know that is an old worn out cliche, however, it does take time.
Have been chatting with this one, a little bit by e-mail, and then recently on the phone for about 2 hours from the site.
She sounds like she is a very sweet little lady, and her and I are to meet this coming Saturday afternoon, so, really looking forward to that, and she lives in Vancouver, however, tho.
She is 55, but, BUT, she looks more like she is 43 to 45, very youthful, and young looking for her age.
So, got to keep trying, tho. Because, ya never know, what you might find out there, ya just may find that very sweet, young lady that you are loking for, and for the gals, don't give up hope either, because, you also t, just may very well, find that gentleman that you are looking for as well.
So, when things don't go the right way, and the tough gets going, and it seems frustrating, take a breather, then take a deep breath, chin up, and keep trying.
Here is to all you fishies out there, with a wish, of wishing you all the best in fishing, and finding what you are looking for.
So, bate up, throw your hook back out, in the pond, sit back, and relax, take a bit of sunshine in, and sip on one of thos cooler filled six pack of beers, and ENJOY, ENJOY, ENJOY, while you are waiting for your next bite, because, the next bite, just very well maybe the little fishie, that you are looking for.
All the very best, everyone, and happy fishing.
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/4/2008 10:35:36 AM | I have come to the conclusion that I will not find Ms. Right just by the on line dating sites or singles events. As I have previously posted that we are all playing the odds and those odds are against us. If you can believe the study that said that single people ages 40-50 years old are only about 5% success rate in finding a long term relationship through on line dating sites.
I am happy with where I am in life. I have a good job, own my own place, have no children I am still supporting etc. I am looking at moving on to a new and exciting phase in my life. Between good friends and family I spend quality time and have a full life. I have a lot to offer and will not just settle for the first person that comes along.
That is all,
BS | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/4/2008 12:04:23 PM |
They seem to feel that if it happens that they meet someone ... well then they'll be pleasantly surprised.
That pretty much sums it up. Get out and enjoy yourself, if you happen to meet someone it is a bonus.
Stay positive and upbeat, but most importantly make your life work for you first and then magical things can happen. | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/4/2008 12:08:10 PM | OMFG OP! u CAN'T be that delusional? Ms/Mr /Right does NOT exist.
Ur better off getting one from a Cracker Jack Box as in the said prize. If they still sell Cracker Jacks in boxes that is.
Pple really need to give their heads a shake and they r going to be waiting for an extremely long time waiting for such a person to sweep them off their feet. Perhaps, while they wait they need to work on self esteem, self help courses, see a therapist, clean up their own backyard. Just be active, socialize, network and get urself involved in ur passions! If u just sit and wallow about the direction ur life is taking usually in a negative light many pple just sit and stew and it doesn't carry off well.
I am a pple person, extremely perceptive to my environment and pick up on pple's energies ( yes, I am ADHD) , I've been told that I need to tone it down many a times and am receptive to that.
I'm just busy with my work, passions and hobbies as well as keeping company with a said individual and his dog (who thinks i'm his party girl for some strange reason).
Too funny, OP coming home empty handed after an event!! Didn't know we were going grocery shopping or trips to the candy store at these events. When I was actively going to these events , I went only to socialize with my friends, usually hanging with my female fishies and having the odd dance as well. There r just more to it than the drinking fests that goes on the events such as activity based ones i.e. camping, snowshoeing, golfing.... Just OPEN ur horizons and look with both eyes and feet in!
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/4/2008 12:47:31 PM | | DAKOTATRUCKCOUNTRY, if she looked 55, as well as actually being 55, would that be a deal breaker for you? Just curious because of the way you put it in your comments regarding your lady friend. | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/4/2008 12:59:24 PM | | I agree with nowandforever...if thats a deal breaker then there is definately something wrong with the way people look at other potential love interests...I find that when you least expect it that is when you usually meet someone that sparks your interest, and sometimes that person can be someone you have been friends with and you have not realized that you both have chemistry and a connection. | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/4/2008 4:05:40 PM | OP trying to force a relationship will likely end up in misery for both of you.
So just relax, go out have fun and don't set up expectations, sure way not to get skunked.
I'm convinced when you are at your best the right gal will respond to you or find you...they kinda home in on guys like that rather than on those with the neon sign flashing desperate or horny.
And being a guy I do know we (men) often don't even know when we show it. lol
Good luck
 y'all | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/4/2008 6:45:19 PM | At this stage of the game, paitence is definitly a virtue.........however, I also think that anyone that's single and really does'nt want to be.......won't be.
There's a ton of singles of both genders that for some reason don't enjoy the single life and probably never will, we're such a diverse people, different strokes I guess.
Going out for the evening, enjoying myself etc then coming home to my own quiet space is the farthest thing thing from feeling ''skunked''.
I've known a few people in my lifetime that have come home ''unskunked'' and ended up being, well lets say skunked in the long run.....permenently.
Carefull what you wish for.......
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/4/2008 7:16:31 PM | I would say I am right with Ben Surgeon for the most part.
What I find to be a common thread with on line dating is the immediate need to make things happen right away. Everyone is looking for instant gratification, the sparks, flames, fireworks....and you would think for those of us over the 40 mark we would of learned by now those feelings are ear marked as lust and nothing more and seldom grow into anything more than disappointment.
Personally, I am considered a slow dater. Some may say I have walls around me. I don't see them as walls, I see them as a practical part of who I have become over the years. I am waiting for the right guy who is willing to invest time into "us".
My life is full of wonderful people and things to do if I desire. The guy that's going to win my heart is one that understands who I am because he spent enough time with me to learn about me and visa versa.
I have met a few terrific men during my adventures in Dating, sadly they have been looking for the OMG WOW factor in less than 1 hour of meeting no less..(in english terms, me drooling over them)..sorry that's not going to happen...I will not haunt a man, stalk a man or drool over a man until I know I am his and he his mine.
So am I waiting...hell yea...for someone to actually pay attention for longer than an hour..can you say ADHD 
CC | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/4/2008 7:25:12 PM |
What are the rest of you people doing while you wait for Ms. or Mr. Right to cross your path?
Number one,,,,I never "wait" for anything to happen. If it's gonna happen,,I'm pretty sure it will, and me sitting on my ass "waiting" for it, does not speed up the process. So what I seem to be doing right now is living. I like it. My daughter likes it. My friends like it. I actually thoroughly enjoying living. It's kinda cool. | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/4/2008 7:31:18 PM | I stopped waiting quite some time ago
my patience is now best reserved for things like waiting for my laundry to finish.. isnt there a super turbocharged dryer out there somewhere? | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/4/2008 7:57:22 PM |
coming home to my own quiet space
100%.
I like me, I like my life, I don't "need" somebody. When it happens, it happens.
Got a friend that "needs" to meet somebody because he wants kids. He's 44. Gave up trying to explain that it's a lousy reason to get into a relationship. | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/4/2008 8:34:53 PM | Don't wait. They're all W.R.O.N.G. 
They'll all try to get their foot in the door, then they'll try to mould you the way they want you to be.
They're all wrong, just play the field. | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/4/2008 8:49:35 PM | What a bunch of crap.
I never waited. I was perfectly happy being single, and preferred it that way. Then fate (evil) intervened, and I was yanked out of my comfort zone. Being in a relationship turned me into a GIRL.
*gag*
*waits anxiously for her balls to grow back* | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/4/2008 8:51:57 PM |
2 crummy
pieces of ..er...azz.....now THATS a bloody waste...THATS SKUNKED
Ahem....apparently you're fishing in the wrong pond. Come on over to the big fish. | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/4/2008 11:28:31 PM |
My life is full of wonderful people and things to do if I desire. The guy that's going to win my heart is one that understands who I am because he spent enough time with me to learn about me and visa versa. crashingchloe, msg 10
I think the "understands who I am" is overrated and sets unrealistic expectations.
It is doubtful whether any one can really understand another person.
Perhaps "accepts me and respects me" would be a better term. | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/5/2008 7:11:40 AM | ^^^ Fair enough Mountain Man......part of who I am and "to know me" is to know I try not to get too tangled up with words....but if someone can find a better word for me, then go for it.....
CC | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/5/2008 7:37:39 AM | well i can say i have never had a problem being alone but i can say i prefer being with my "boyfriend" ... took some time finding him and now we are moving in together at the end of this month ..
dont set your mind on certain things .. cuz when you least expect it things turn out the total opposite .. takes time and really we all have time ..  | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/5/2008 10:03:29 AM | Thanks all for the info. I took heart from what Dakota wrote. Also from many other comments.
Ummm I think the following comment by "wordaholic" does deal with the subject I was asking about.
and may i say so graciously......4 months....7 dates..and 2 crummy
pieces of ..er...azz.....now THATS a bloody waste...THATS SKUNKED
I'm finding that most people who have been on here a little longer are no longer looking at things this way. I'm trying to readjust my thinking even more -- but still working on it. Many of my new friends from POF events have not even had 7 dates in teh past 4 months -- and many of the POF ladies claim not to have had a "piece of azz" in all that time (if you can believe them).
So actually wordaholic, it sounds like you are doing better than the average and have not been skunked at all. | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/5/2008 11:01:44 AM | i think the consensus here is that don't just wait to make things happen..... just be involved and when u least it expect it BOOM! something wonderful JUST happens.
Go out on dates, events with an OPEN mind....... so who cares if u come home empty handed which is far better than making a rash, spur of moment decision that you may regret.
I've been here for a while now, love all my great friends and the great pple I've met on my time on the BC pond. PPle who know me and have have met me say I'm what u see..... no false pretenses but sometimes leave with their heads shaking WTF? therefore that's my name in Chinese!
ps: i've had many dates all with wonderful pple and NO duds!
pces of azz or pieces of the puzzle remain to be unseen in more ways than one!  | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/5/2008 12:27:35 PM |
7 dates in the past 4 months
Bill matters are what one wants and makes of it
definition date = meeting someone new to decide if there is more?
That shouldn't be too difficult if one makes the time and afford. With some people a decision may be quick and with others learning more about the other person would certainly take a few more dates
definition date = meeting someone for a quick fix?
Don't really know haven't done that in a few decades, but from what I hear it works for some sometimes. lol
I think crashingchloe, msg 10 pointed in that direction.
definition date = meeting "the one and only"?
I'll let you now as soon as I know who she is....till then lets just live and make the best o f it.
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/5/2008 5:48:57 PM | | I think women are like a nice cherry on top of the ice cream that is my life, Now if anyone would like to come over and have some salmon with me or any other fine delicacies prepared in my kitchen be my guest. | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/5/2008 7:55:23 PM | IMO...
If you "wait" for Mr or Ms. Right, you will wait forever.....
If you "try" to find someone, most of the time the opposite will happen...
I never go out either socializing or going to a POF event with the idea of leaving the event "coming home empty handed"
We are not 19 and this isn't the 70's
I go out to meet my friends and enjoy myself and it is amazing what can happen when you take that attitude and are not on the hunt. People will gravitate to you because they see that you are a fun, grounded person who doesn't need to be attached to another to enjoy themselves.... | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/5/2008 10:05:34 PM | ^^^ Mountain Lion:
For me Date = going out someplace together with the aim of having a good time... talking, dancing, walking, whatever. It is companionship with a beginning and an end that happens in the same day.
More than that is ... well more than a date. Doing more than dating isn't necessarily more meaningful than dating -- but there are different words to use. | |
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