| is he psycho or is it just me?
Posted: 6/5/2008 12:17:05 AM | okay I hope I don't get deleted for this but damnit its bothering me and I don't know what to do.
I met this guy (on here) a month or so ago and he seemed nice. we chatted for a lil bit then he wanted to talk to me on yahoo. so i gave him my yahoo IM figuring I can cut it there if I didn't like him further. then we lost contact for a lil while (mind you we only talked once and then he moved or something).
He suddenly pops up again on yahoo and he asked for more pix which i gave even though he only had 2 pix of trade with. then ... right off the bat he asks to call me. When i said no he got kinda pushy. He started to make excuses that he's not online often and that he really likes me. mind you... he's talked to me very little ... only the first day talkin and I suddenly get nervous. My brain goes into red flag mode.
But then he says "you've must have been hurt really bad to not trust at all." that kinda weirded me out because yeah.. i have been hurt but who hasn't? and trust to give my number out when I don't even know him at all!?! thats just odddddd!!!!
So now.. I"m not sure what to do.
My gut says tell this guy to lose my info and DONT give him my number.
BUt then I start to wonder if I'm goin to miss out on the one and maybe I'm being paranoid!?
but he's very pushy for my number and that scares me!!!
AHHHHH!!! what do i do!!
more like what's your opinion...
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| is he psycho or is it just me?
Posted: 6/5/2008 12:21:35 AM |
My gut says tell this guy to lose my info and DONT give him my number.
BUt then I start to wonder if I'm goin to miss out on the one and maybe I'm being paranoid!?
Your post has red flags written all over it. You are not paranoid, follow your gut. | |
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| is he psycho or is it just me?
Posted: 6/5/2008 12:25:09 AM | cue the elevator music this is pretty tame compared to what I hear many go through
I think your pulling out the psycho card a little too soon.
if he gives you goose bumps then simply move on . | |
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| is he psycho or is it just me?
Posted: 6/5/2008 1:15:46 AM | | Go with your gut instinct and don't give him your number. Sounds too pushy for me. What a turnoff!!! | |
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| is he psycho or is it just me?
Posted: 6/5/2008 2:15:18 AM | Man, I don't know... tell him your into cosplay and see if he wants to be Snarf from Thundercats... if he says 'that sounds pretty cool', he's a keeper. If he says 'What's cosplay?' stop talking to him, as he obviously can't be trusted.
the giggleparts - Handing out sage advice since the fall of the Berlin Wall - 9 years. | |
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| is he psycho or is it just me?
Posted: 6/5/2008 2:34:24 AM | If you have any interest in him, and would want to talk to him, he can send you HIS number and you can call him. Make sure to block your number when doing it, to avoid unwanted calls later.
If you are not comfortable and don't want to talk to him - tell him so. If he insists, block him. End of story.
Hope it helps...
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| is he psycho or is it just me?
Posted: 6/5/2008 2:39:13 AM | Psycho is exactly what I see here...
For your safety AND your sanity... move on!
There are just too many sane guys out there that are 1)in no hurry and 2) respect your boundaries. He doesnt fit that. | |
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| is he psycho or is it just me?
Posted: 6/5/2008 2:54:39 AM | My gut says tell this guy to lose my info and DONT give him my number.
BUt then I start to wonder if I'm goin to miss out on the one and maybe I'm being paranoid!?
but he's very pushy for my number and that scares me!!!
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C'mon Baby, get with it quick. you're a rockabilly babe, must know the score? If you dig and more, let him know. Or, make him play it your way. Dig this speech: "Haha, you are persistent aren't you, I really like you, but I have to go to bed now, contact me Saturday morning, Ok sexy stranger?"......That's what I have to tell the ladies a buzz. | |
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| is he psycho or is it just me?
Posted: 6/5/2008 3:49:25 AM | OP: Do NOT give him your number.
You are falling for the old 'psychic' trick. They say something very generic that applies to most people, and the person is like 'How'd you know that?'. Like...'You've lost someone very close to you.' Yep....most people have. Not like it's uncommon...but for some reason hearing it come out of a strangers mouth does something 'special'. Ehh.
He likely asked for your pic b/c it'd been awhile since you talked and he couldn't remember you. I've had people do that to me and only one guy was ever honest about it. When he asked for more pics I asked him why and he just straight up told me that he couldn't put a face to a name.
Now being pushy for someone's number. I know for me...I'm a got to the chase kind of person. After I talk to someone once or twice online, I like talking on the phone...that way I knew I wasn't being totally bullshitted and talking to some 14 year old boy or some 90 year old man. And although, I always called the guys (since I didn't want to give out my #)...I never tried to force them to give me their number. I would ask like 'hey, want to chat on the phone for a few minutes?' and they said 'no', 'maybe later', 'not right now', or whatever...I left it at that.
follow your instincts...that's why we have them!
~Welder's Girl~ | |
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| is he psycho or is it just me?
Posted: 6/5/2008 6:03:05 AM | | His line is a classic manipulator's line. Don't give him your number. Trust your gut. There are times where you will feel comfortable giving your number and then you will, this is just not one of those times. He is not acting consistently. He probably has serious moods swings. We've all been there, right? Give the guy a break and be kind, but tell him the honest truth. You are simply not comfortable giving him your number. If he pushes, then you know he does not value your comfort. | |
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| is he psycho or is it just me?
Posted: 6/5/2008 9:43:33 AM | If you gave him two photos already, and ASSUMING they were clear photos, and then he disappeared...why did he need more photos? did he lose what you already gave him?
then he goes from dead stop to 60mph in seconds....nice speed for a car, a little worrysome for a guy.
Whether or not he's a nutjob, if you don't feel comfortable...he ain't a good fit. | |
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| is he psycho or is it just me?
Posted: 6/5/2008 9:51:31 AM | | Oh run for the hills...I got goosebumps just reading your email! But yes, always be polite... | |
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| is he psycho or is it just me?
Posted: 6/5/2008 10:01:55 AM | | Couple of things here. I agree with most posters, don't give him your number. Get his if you really want to check him out. Then block your number when you call. Next could be a scammer, there seem to be alot of them using Yahoo. I don't know why that is, but it's true. Sometimes they create profiles on here using some other guy's photo and they're in Nigeria. If that is the case, don't be surprised if you run into yourself or get a message about "your other profile" on here or some other dating site. If your gut tells you something, there is usually something to that. Now all this could be speculation on our parts and he could be alright, after all we only know what you told us. If you like him, think he's a guy you could date, get his number and block yours and call. But then you want to know "why no contact", even if he moved, if he was so into you, he would have made time in the last 40 days or so to get back with you, even if it was on POF or a short email. My 2 cents, Bob | |
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| is he psycho or is it just me?
Posted: 6/5/2008 10:11:54 AM | If you don't feel comfortable than for pete sake forget about him and move on. I don't see why so many of you people are so freaky about giving out a phone number. I have never seen anyone hurt over the phone. But if you have issues with a phone number why even be on a dating site, join a nunnery. Or get a cheap phone that you can buy minutes for and give him that number.
With this guy tho I always get freaked out when women want me to send them a bunch of photos right off the bat. They can see them on here, I am not going to send them any. If they want photos they can meet me and take pics. I would be leary about him wanting photos sent to him. | |
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| is he psycho or is it just me?
Posted: 6/5/2008 10:26:34 AM | Well it's not really anything extraordinary that a guy might like and want to go further than just im'ing after a short time. I see nothing wrong with wanting that. Being pushy about it though should be what raises the red flag.
People are going to have different opinions of time lines when it comes to this stuff. Some people are going to be fine with meeting up after only chatting for a little bit while others want to email back and forth for months before moving to the next step. The decent people will be understanding of someone who has a different time line than them though, the guys that you want to avoid are the ones like this situation.
If he can't chill and take it at your pace you gotta just move on. A relationship has to be give and take, if he's pulling this stuff already what kind of things will he pull down the road. | |
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| is he psycho or is it just me?
Posted: 6/5/2008 10:34:41 AM | If the idea of a phone call scares you, then you should just stay frightened. Who wants to hear a person when they talk? Typing conveys so much more enotion. Who wouldn't rather read "lol" than hear the person they are interested in laugh for real? If you feel fear it is always the othere persons fault, not your own hangups, especially with something as intimate as a phone call. It is almost sex and a baby, or the closest thing to it!! Why not just type and type and type and feel safe at home forever? Only a psycho would want to hear your voice. Only a psycho would think a voice conveys more about a person than typed words on a screen.
Funny how all but one of the women say follow your gut. I say your gut says you are not ready to date men if you think a phone call is too "much" . That kind of fear is what makes this world so harsh, the instant paranoia and fear that grips women actually makes them look like little girls. Thisa site is hilarious for "compassionate, adventurous" women who never act like thier type written words. Most of the profiles should say "wary and paniccy, ready to think the worst from the get go."
A woman afraid to talk on the phone has something to hide. She is not adventurous. She is paranoid. She is not the type of person I could see myself "exploring the world and living life to the fullest" (another indication a person has no self awareness is advertising themselves as adventurus and afraid of a phone call), she will need constant persuasion to live life to the fullest. She will be a NO sayer instead of a YES, lets do it! type.
I aplaud the woman who likes to talk on the phone and, if you read all the posts, she is the only one I would trust to care about ME and be a partner because she isn't full of unreasoned fear. When you live in one of the safest cities on the planet, I ak ! question to you all....if not here to trust someone....where? The truth, hard as it is for many to face is fear runs some peoples lives and prevents them from doing things that would enhance thier lives. This is common knowlegde, but nobody applies it to themselves.
I for myself seek a woman, not a girl, who is intelligent, compassionate and adventurous because I want to live life to the fullest.
I always ask for a phone number and pic because those things tell me al lot about a person, moreso than months of typing because I can hear with my own ears the quality of thier compassion. | |
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| is he psycho or is it just me?
Posted: 6/5/2008 10:34:42 AM | hmmmm.... you've only been chatting for a month? What is it about him that makes you think you could be potentially losing out on a great person? IMHO.... and i don't mean to insult you although i know that is how it is going to come out. .... you seem a little desperate. The whole point of internet dating, or dating for that matter is to check people out and see if you guys are compatible . If you get the creeps from him, why would you want to continue? If you feel uneasy about anything, don't continue.
Some people trade numbers right away... others wait quite a while... depends on the person. If he can't respect your decision than that puts up a flag... it is not so much that he wants your number but that he doesn't respect your comfort level. I don't see anything else with it.... i definelty don't think psycho is even remotely close to the right word, maybe he just like talking to feel out the vibe of someone rather than a one demension online conversation.....
just my two cents.... no disrespect meant.... | |
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| is he psycho or is it just me?
Posted: 6/5/2008 11:31:02 AM | If you dont feel comfortable doing something then dont do it. Dont be manipulated to make yourself do something you dont want to do.
I get messages where women will say,"Hi its nice to meet you; call me and here is my number; lol; some dont even say their name. Its a little ridiculous and I tell them we can chat but I'm not calling them. | |
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| is he psycho or is it just me?
Posted: 6/5/2008 11:53:39 AM |
My gut says tell this guy to lose my info and DONT give him my number.
BUt then I start to wonder if I'm goin to miss out on the one and maybe I'm being paranoid!?
but he's very pushy for my number and that scares me!!!
Go with your gut instinct. If the guy is too pushy for you now, it will only get worse. The next thing you know hell be pushing for sex. Then you'll be back on the forums complaining about men who want sex. | |
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| is he psycho or is it just me?
Posted: 6/5/2008 12:37:53 PM | All things being equal, i'd have to say, "why not?" If you've actually had a few conversations by pofMail and YahooIM, and he seems to be literate (and not sounding like someone you'd IGNORE) then there's no reason not to talk. Gee, I've had phone conversations that lead nowhere after one phonecall, on POF. *shrug*
however, things aren't equal, especially in light he said this:
But then he says "you've must have been hurt really bad to not trust at all." that kinda weirded me out because yeah.. i have been hurt but who hasn't? and trust to give my number out when I don't even know him at all!?! thats just odddddd!!!! exsqueeze me? You know what that says to me? "I'm a player interested in things like one-upmanship-games who's going to be belligerent then cry on your shoulder with a petty pity party, then come on real strong [aka cop a feel]"
I don't think he's playing "psychic" at all...i think he's actually talking about his pain and his suffering and his...blah blah. you get the picture?
*shrug* People try different approaches on POF while waiting for that 'first date' which, and i'll tell you true, is mostly "blind dates" without the help of friends/relatives matchmaking...yes? Some come on strong, some might even let you know they're interested...mail, email, IM, phone, coffee, hanging out.
Honestly, how many people here keep doing the same old routine for the 'first date'? | |
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| is he psycho or is it just me?
Posted: 6/5/2008 12:57:18 PM | | I don't know about being psycho but I think it's clear by all post's what the general opinion is, go with your gut. Red flags are there for a reason. | |
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| is he psycho or is it just me?
Posted: 6/5/2008 1:16:21 PM | Psycho ? No. Stupid and inept ? Yes.
Ignore him basically. He obviously has no social skills to speak of and he's not a particularly sympathetic individual. Whatever his reasons (they might be true but who cares at this point) you've got enough to go on that your course of action is clear. | |
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| is he psycho or is it just me?
Posted: 6/5/2008 1:29:17 PM | What bothers me is how manipulative this guy sounds. He is trying to guilt you into giving him your number. I would take down his and call on a cell.
I would go with the gut feeling, because it is more reliable. | |
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