| Do you Believe in Love or is it Just About Finding a Compatible Person?
Posted: 6/5/2008 10:49:24 AM | Do you believe in and are you waiting for the true love to make commitment decisions, such as an exclusive relationship or a marriage, or are you just looking for someone who meets your certain criteria without any love expectations?
If you believe in love, how do you define and recognize it? | |
|
| Do you Believe in Love or is it Just About Finding a Compatible Person?
Posted: 6/5/2008 10:56:30 AM | | I definitely believe in love. I'm the eternal optimist/romantic. I don't want a roommate... I want a soulmate. There is nothing lonelier than being alone in a relationship. Without love, what is the purpose? Buy a dog if you want companionship. It's cheaper and they love you unconditionally. | |
|
| Do you Believe in Love or is it Just About Finding a Compatible Person?
Posted: 6/5/2008 11:03:32 AM | | I believe you love someone when just being around that person, or just thinking of that person, makes you feel at peace, or happy. You want to do good things for that person just for them, with no expectation of anything in return. Of course, if that person feels the same about you, and you're compatible in your likes and dislikes, your chances of having a successful relationship are very good. | |
|
| Do you Believe in Love or is it Just About Finding a Compatible Person?
Posted: 6/5/2008 11:20:06 AM | Being in a healthy, loving relationship is about mutual care & concern for each other at an exceptional level. There's a very deep feeling of acceptance, belonging and being where you're supposed to be if the love is right.
So yes, I believe in it because I've experienced it. And yes, I'm holding out for it again. | |
|
| Do you Believe in Love or is it Just About Finding a Compatible Person?
Posted: 6/5/2008 11:23:34 AM | I think what people call 'Love' fades at around the 1-2 year mark.
After that it's about being able to be in a relationship where you don't feel unhappy.
So, I think it's important to make sure that you look at the other person long and hard and decide if you'll be able to tolerate them every single day for an extended period of time even if you don't have the 'puppy love' feelings about them anymore.
I'm still in my relationship because although the strong feelings aren't there anymore, we're fairly compatible, enjoy doing the same things, and we rarely fight. | |
|
| Do you Believe in Love or is it Just About Finding a Compatible Person?
Posted: 6/5/2008 11:30:48 AM |
I think what people call 'Love' fades at around the 1-2 year mark.
That's the problem. They call it love but it's not.
After that it's about being able to be in a relationship where you don't feel unhappy.
Well now that, wouldbe love.
^^ Sounds like love to me.
I'm a believer in love. Sadly, from what I see around here, many people are all about compatibility.
| |
|
| Do you Believe in Love or is it Just About Finding a Compatible Person?
Posted: 6/5/2008 11:37:27 AM | | recognize it.. i don't know.. but.. you'll know for you the moment you see it... then you gotta act fast casue you have to understand it and that takes a lifetime if your lucky... and it's each and every moment and you have to be understanding each an every moment changes... and you have to be flexible.. cause your also dealing with a totally seperate entity and that entity has the same chit going on in they're head too... if your really lucky and they're not just stuck on the same channel you were on before you changed.. yes i believe...and it's worth the wait and efforts... | |
|
| |
| Do you Believe in Love or is it Just About Finding a Compatible Person?
Posted: 6/5/2008 12:03:26 PM | OP: There are folks out there that mistake infatuation as love. There are others that mistake attraction as love. Or lust as love. Love that happens at first glance does happen... but rarely, and chances are will not happen for you or me.
So the natural way to go about it is to see if you could like the person, without being clouded by some emotion, that chances are, you don't understand to begin with.
That's my 2 pennies. | |
|
| Do you Believe in Love or is it Just About Finding a Compatible Person?
Posted: 6/5/2008 1:53:15 PM |
I believe you love someone when just being around that person, or just thinking of that person, makes you feel at peace, or happy. You want to do good things for that person just for them, with no expectation of anything in return. Of course, if that person feels the same about you, and you're compatible in your likes and dislikes, your chances of having a successful relationship are very good.
Couldn't have said it better myself. I am a believer in love and want to be with someone I am in love with and not just compatible with. | |
|
| Do you Believe in Love or is it Just About Finding a Compatible Person?
Posted: 6/5/2008 2:29:10 PM | Well, I am a bit of a contrarian, and believe that you cannot "find" love ever.
As evidence I use the example of my grandparents who married under the watchfull eye of my great grand father and his SHOTGUN!.
Ok they got married very young and being from the praries they started poping out puppies at a pretty steady pace. (No Cablevision)
I was back for thier 50th Anniversary and I asked my grandfather if he Loved my Grandmother when they were forced to get married?
Of course his answer was no, but that is what happened when the rabbit died in them days.
I asked him if he loved her now, and he replied more than anything in the world. This is why almost all Arranged marriages work... the Participants make them work.
Now I know everyone is going to slpa me with abusive relationships and unhappy relationships, and I agree sort of, but I trully believe the only thing worse than being in a bad relationship for a year is being in a bad realationship for a year and a day.
This is why I think most people here fail because they are looking for love, Mistake it's cousin lust or attraction, skip over the commitment and splitsville
Love comes and goes, commitment is forever
Big Al | |
|
| |
| Do you Believe in Love or is it Just About Finding a Compatible Person?
Posted: 6/5/2008 3:19:19 PM | Someone said that love "fades" in about 1-2 years. I believe that is wrong. A lot of people become "infatuated", they mistake this infatuation for love and start a relationship, marry, and realize 2-3 years later that they made a mistake.
Love in a relationship is not about how compatible two people are (although it helps) but about complementing and accepting each other. After all, your "better half" is supposed to complete you, not to be a copy of you (when it comes to likes/dislikes/interests). No matter how many similarities there are between two people, it's the differences that will make a difference in whether a relationship works or not. As you get to know someone you will learn things about them. If something bothers you about your partner, you should talk to him/her and be straightforward about it. Do not hide it for fear that he or she will be mad at you, because if it bothers you now, chances are, it will bother you as well when you are married. In a relationship in which truly there's potential for love, both sides will be willing and open to talk to each other about everything. And also to listen to each other whenever necessary. From the smallest detail to the biggest problem. They are able to talk about it, and fix it together.
Both sides have to be completely selfless, when there's an argument, the first thing is to put ourselves in the other person's shoes, and try to understand their point of view before we open our mouths and say something that we might regret.
If I was to type everything that I think love is about, it would take forever. So I will summarize.
Two people that love each other are understanding, not selfish, put their partner's interests before their own, keep a very open communication, are ready to listen to each other anytime, among other things, and most importantly, genuinely want to make him or her happy.
So the bottom line is, love is not just about "we seem compatible let's date and marry", it's more about truly making a commitment to dedicate yourself to the happiness of your partner. When both sides do the same, and truly care for one another, then you have a marriage that will never be broken.
Love is like a delicate little flower, if you neglect it, it will die. If you keep watering it however, it lives forever.
Just my two cents. Wow that was long. | |
|
| Do you Believe in Love or is it Just About Finding a Compatible Person?
Posted: 6/5/2008 3:26:27 PM | Finding a compatable person can lead to true love and many many years of happiness.
True love is something that grows and changes as you spend time together, as you share experiences, as you work towards similar goals together. It takes root in friendship and flourishes with respect, laughter, and consideration for each other.
So many people confuse it and/or don't understand it. If you are compatable, share the same values, enjoy each other's company, feel comfortable with each other, have a genuine friendship with each other then love will grow each and every day for the rest of your lives.
Too many people think that finding someone's appearance attractive is love. But appearances change over the years, and character is the quality that will stay forever. | |
|
| Do you Believe in Love or is it Just About Finding a Compatible Person?
Posted: 6/5/2008 3:32:32 PM |
I think what people call 'Love' fades at around the 1-2 year mark.
Well that's a very optimistic outlook... >_>
Anyway, I equate love to almost a form of "best friend". There will be rough patches, disagreements and what not... but at the end of the day the bond that keeps you together is still there. | |
|
| Do you Believe in Love or is it Just About Finding a Compatible Person?
Posted: 6/5/2008 4:57:41 PM | | I think both love and compatibility go hand in hand as, obviously, if you're not compatible you probably won't stick around long enough for feelings of love to develop. For me personally, all of the women who I have truly been in love with have been very compatible with me and ultimately became my best friends. | |
|
| Do you Believe in Love or is it Just About Finding a Compatible Person?
Posted: 6/5/2008 5:03:38 PM | Yes, OP, I do believe in True Love. It's hard to explain though... for me, it's that feeling I get in the pit of my stoumach(wondrful butterflys) and the one that makes my legs weak when I know I'm going to see him. It's thinking about him and then noticing there is a smile on my face. It's knowing he is going to be there for me, no matter what I say or do. It's the most Awsome lovemaking ever, it is so much better when in love ya know. It's wanting to do everything I can for him to make him happpy, even if I've never done it before. It's feeling like a teenager again just talking to him. It's knowing we make each other happy. It's not being scared of
talking about the future and the Years we will have together. It's about trust..... trusting each other and knowing there is nothing that will take us away from each other. It's respect for each other. And finally............................................................. It's being excited and relaxed all at the same time, breathing in the feelings.
Oh my Yes, I believe in True love...... And it's the most wonderful thing in the world to have and know your mate feels the same way !!!
B !! 
Blonde | |
|
| |
| |
| Do you Believe in Love or is it Just About Finding a Compatible Person?
Posted: 6/5/2008 5:57:16 PM | I think true love is what my paternal grandparents had. 5 kids and married almost 60 years before my Pop passed away. To see them together, the way they complimented eachother, the way they did things for eachother made me feel all gushy and retarded inside. You couldn't help but smile when you were around them. They were caring, giving and understanding. Sure they had their fights, but the ones I saw growing up were so petty and insignificant it didn't matter. She stuck by his side through, open heart surgeries, colon and prostate cancer. The doctors gave him 6 months to live and he lived another 15 years past that. She misses him so much and I keep telling her that it was their love together that gave him all those extra years. I want that.
 | |
|
| Do you Believe in Love or is it Just About Finding a Compatible Person?
Posted: 6/5/2008 6:05:31 PM | OP, you have a thread about what is required for commitment, love and/or other things, and now this one asking about love and compatibility, exactly what is it that you are trying to figure out?
Falling in love isn't that hard, finding someone that will nurture and protect that love and allow each individual to grow and change over years is another thing altogether.
A good relationship is about both finding love and a compatible person. Without the latter, the former is destroyed. Without the former, the relationship constitutes roommates. | |
|
| Do you Believe in Love or is it Just About Finding a Compatible Person?
Posted: 6/5/2008 6:10:50 PM | Absolutely love! But not the honeymoon stage love. The butterflies in my belly and all that is fine at the beginning - but you reach a point where you have to actually choose to love the other person and choose to commit. I think that's where being compatible and having similar outlook and values make it more likely that a relationship will be long term.
I would never just hook up with someone who meets "criteria" on paper without love expectations. That's my best girlfriend and gay best friend. The physical part of a relationship should not be underrated. It can make or break a relationship, IMO anyway | |
|
| |
| |
| Do you Believe in Love or is it Just About Finding a Compatible Person?
Posted: 6/5/2008 7:36:15 PM | Oh yes! I definitely believe in love.
I think love comes in many forms and that it's easy to get mixed messages.
You can fall in love but not have it returned. Have physical love for someone, otherwise known as lust. Fall for someone intellectually which usually goes into the "friend" column after a while. and the roller coaster emotional love which we all know as the on again off again couple.
True love for me is when you can be completely yourself, argue rarely, love often, and yet never get tired of talking to each other.
That's the woman I want to marry!!!
~Baldy. | |
|
Home
login 
