| Single moms - envied by married moms?
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:43:59 PM | Hey single moms, ever thought you were envied by married moms? I think many married moms would rather be single (but would probably never admit it!). Think about it, married moms see you as being in a position to start over again with someone better, whereas they may feel stuck in their marriage. Married moms may see you as having more free time than they do, if your ex takes your kids regularly. Plus, you have much more freedom in many ways!
What do you think people? | |
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| Single moms - envied by married moms?
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:52:48 PM | What do I think? I think WOW, how can I buy into THAT life lol.
I think that is a very idealistic view of how things "could be" but I rarely hear of a single parent's life being so perfect. Sure, you can start over with someone better...but you aren't really starting over because all of your past is coming with you in your children (not that I would have it any other way). It is hard, we all know this. One income (or none at all at times) and decisions that need to be made because of it can really suck.
I guess the free time would be a nice "draw" if it happened. It doesn't happen here and I know many other single parents who are in the same boat I am in terms of the ex not taking the kids regularly...or not at all. | |
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| Single moms - envied by married moms?
Posted: 6/7/2008 8:19:33 PM | | hmm not really envied, except one friend but she's always in a rollercoaster relationship with her now husband. When he use to work full time and doing police academy, a lot of parenting went on her, so she told me how she mind as well be called a single parent with her raising her son all the time. I'm sure she envies me for being single on the times where she's had enough of her husband. I dont' envy those who want to envy single moms because that just tells me they are complacent and in the marriage just for the sake of family, comfort, security. But to those who love the marriage, then I admire them for they are making their relationship work and are happy with each other and their family improves for it. | |
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| Single moms - envied by married moms?
Posted: 6/7/2008 8:24:23 PM | | I know a few of my married friends say they envy me at times. That's usually when their husband is up their butt. I have one friend who will fight with her husband while I'm on the phone with her. I have another one who will come here to escape her husband and her teenage boys. Those are the times I say yep it's good to be me. But there are also times when I envy them too. | |
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| Single moms - envied by married moms?
Posted: 6/7/2008 8:52:00 PM | | I love being single and I love being a mom -- I guess you know my answer. In fact, many of my married friends with children don't seem as happy as they try to portray. They have to keep up a facade -- luckily I don't need to play those games of pretending. | |
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| Single moms - envied by married moms?
Posted: 6/7/2008 11:03:17 PM | | Never! If anything, I feel like they feel bad for me. Although, there's nothing for them to pity me for. It is what it is. I don't envy or pity anyone. I don't believe we can know anyone's particular situation to have any opinion on what kind of life they have. | |
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dnk8
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Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 8 | |
| Single moms - envied by married moms?
Posted: 6/8/2008 12:27:20 AM | I am a single working parent of one and I want nothing more than to meet the right guy and have a family as a partnership, in a stable committed relationship - eg with the RIGHT guy........My daughter attends a private school where other mums have a pile of kids and a new flash 4wd (me in my $1000 bomb) and the kids all have after school activities and she hangs out with other mums in the same situation. I am isolated, I have to drop my kid of and go to work only to barely survive one week to the next and my other single parent mum friends cant afford to do anything just as I cant.
Sure the freedom of being single may be appealing to married mums but try parenting alone, providing alone, trying to survive and making the decisions alone....its not so much fun. And being alone isnt FREEDOM, I cant just go out and drink or party whenever I want and I cant afford it either.
I am aware a relationship is hard work and compromise and fitting in with someone else as well but I'd swap having a pain in the arse husband (one who treats you good but lets face it all men are HARD work) for being alone any day of the week. | |
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| Single moms - envied by married moms?
Posted: 6/8/2008 6:26:38 AM | I think if married women envy single moms it is because their husbands are useless in terms of parenting the children and/or jerks that they probably should leave.
I had a friend years ago that really had the best of both worlds. Her X picked her son up like clockwork on Friday afternoon and deposited him Sunday evening. She had the weekend to be single and free of responsibility but the sad thing, was she had no "quality" time with her son. She would get home from work and immediately get on the phone with people. Talking to her was not fun because her son tried to get her attention and I suspect had she spent even a half hour really focused on him, he would have left her alone the rest of the evening. She never went to movies, museums, the zoo, did anything fun with her child including taking him to the apartment pool.
I envy married women with active fathers and attentive husbands because I have my kids 24/7 and the only reason I can have any life at all is because my kids are older and when school is out, I have more time to actually do adult things. So no, I don't think that the majority of married women envy single moms because for many of us, it truly is a full-time job with little time or energy for ourselves. | |
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| Single moms - envied by married moms?
Posted: 6/8/2008 6:59:06 AM | so then ladies, question, ... is this part of the lipstick feminist conspiracy to convert our society from patriarchal to matriarchal.
Should children bear the name of their father? | |
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| Single moms - envied by married moms?
Posted: 6/8/2008 7:04:18 AM | | ^^^^The thread could easily have been entitled single father's envied by married dads because it is not motherhood being evaluated but the perks and drawbacks of being a single parent. Do you live in a home with booby traps in case the lipstick wielders descend upon you? | |
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| Single moms - envied by married moms?
Posted: 6/8/2008 7:59:59 AM | lol, but seriously, could have, would have, .... but there isn't such a thread. So you can't be prompted to ask such a question.
Please refrain from having both sides of the conversation. :) | |
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| Single moms - envied by married moms?
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:29:07 AM |
(pip35) Hey single moms, ever thought you were envied by married moms? I think many married moms would rather be single (but would probably never admit it!). Think about it, married moms see you as being in a position to start over again with someone better, whereas they may feel stuck in their marriage. Married moms may see you as having more free time than they do, if your ex takes your kids regularly. Plus, you have much more freedom in many ways!
What do you think people?
What do I think?
I think the devil finds work for idle hands. (or controversial posting topics...) 
Arlo | |
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| Single moms - envied by married moms?
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:34:15 AM | I've never really thought about it, but most of my mommy friends are married, and I've never heard them say they envy single moms. In fact, most of them feel fortunate to be married. I think they almost pity single moms.
They have to keep up a facade
This goes both ways. IMO, I've seen more single parents trying to keep up a facade than I have married parents. That's just my experience though. | |
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| Single moms - envied by married moms?
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:35:23 AM | I get that from some of my married friend.
The most precious was the other week, when a friend offered to give me her husband.
the darling creature quit 80,000.00 a year job to go back to school. He wants to be a movie producer. This past year he moved away to continue his education on film production.
She lives here, he lives 10 hour drive away.
Flys home when he feels like it. Now that summer is here, he is back for the summer, got a job, but spends more time out with his buddies than his wife and daughter.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm men like that suck.......... Damn it is good to be single.
Or the friend who's hubby doesnt cook, clean, change diapers.......... but will play guitar hero for 13 hours a day. | |
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| Single moms - envied by married moms?
Posted: 6/8/2008 9:00:10 AM | | Single moms - envied by married moms? If so, they should have stayed single, and seems they made some VERY poor choices in life. Some people arent meant to be married, mainly because they are selfish. I get alot of guy friends say they wish they were single all the time. But look at why? They fight and argue all the time. Both parties in the marriage let themselves go physically. They dont communicate well with their partner. And they are too selfish to include their partner in their goals, whether short term or long. Both parties are usually too stubborn to compromise, and act like they dont know what the word means. When I tell them they dont know how good they got it, they dont understand. And they never will. Same for the married women I suppose. The grass is always greener syndrome strikes again!! | |
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| Single moms - envied by married moms?
Posted: 6/8/2008 11:12:06 AM | | A couple of my married friends have told me that they sometimes envy me. And to be honest, when I see how some of my friends relationships or marriages work, Im glad to be single! | |
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| Single moms - envied by married moms?
Posted: 6/8/2008 11:50:56 AM | I think it boils down to what kind of marriage they have. If they have a crap marriage, they do. If they have a good marriage, they don't. And the definition of what constitutes a good marriage is subjective so THEIR perception of their marriage is the only one that counts.
I wonder what would happen if you sent those envious married parents to POF to read a few single parent profiles and forum posts. They might not be so envious after all. | |
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| Single moms - envied by married moms?
Posted: 6/8/2008 1:03:58 PM | | Why would married moms envy single moms? If that were true single moms wouldnot be looking for a relationship...unless they live in Canada where they can collect child support from multiple men..then maybe they night envy single moms...but I do not think most single moms are envied by married women. | |
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| Single moms - envied by married moms?
Posted: 6/8/2008 1:07:41 PM | I wonder what would happen if you sent those envious married parents to POF to read a few single parent profiles and forum posts. They might not be so envious after all.
Really? Do take a look at my profile and then point out to me where a married woman would feel pity and sadness at my 'obvious' poor and suffering life as a single mum.
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| Single moms - envied by married moms?
Posted: 6/8/2008 1:20:22 PM | No doubt!
I have a few married friends (moms and dads) who openly envy me (in front of their spouses!!) about the amount of 'freedom' I have. I'm really shocked that they are still married, actually.
I also have a few single moms who openly envy me because I haven't seen my ex since my son was born. I'll admit, there are some great advantages to not having him around, but there are also quite a few disadvantages too.
But hey... the grass is always greener.... isn't it?? | |
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| Single moms - envied by married moms?
Posted: 6/8/2008 1:30:09 PM |
Why would married moms envy single moms? If that were true single moms wouldnot be looking for a relationship...unless they live in Canada where they can collect child support from multiple men..then maybe they night envy single moms...but I do not think most single moms are envied by married women.
Oh for Gods sake Johne! Your posts are starting to make less sense the more you go on!
Why wouldnt single moms be looking for dates if married moms envied them?? That makes no sense at all! Some married moms are envious...why on earth would that stop single moms wanting dates???
And after yet again getting that little bit in there about the canada laws, are you going to say you dont mean to insult?
PLEASE!  | |
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