| what do you guys think?
Posted: 6/7/2008 9:35:55 PM | As I lay here my heart pounds harder and faster, the darkness hugs me in pure mockery every breath I take is abnormally heavy, my mind is not able to appease my body they are completely out of sync. My soul has fled in hiding it is no longer in control, my skin is tingling, and aching it has a deep yearning for the unknown sensations and touch. Life giving blood is pumping mercilessly into every organ as if looking for a calmer river only at this point in time there is none. For this body any calm moments is only a false temporary reprieve, a mere illusion to a temporary synchronized state of mind of body and soul. Unfortunately as time passes the illusion is getting shorter and shorter as if my body is starting to realize the ruse.
so umm yea what do you guys think? | |
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| what do you guys think?
Posted: 6/7/2008 9:38:52 PM | I thought its a good poem. but I love poetry. The part about the life giving blood being pumped through ever Organ reminds me of a mushroom voyage. If you use mushrooms of course.
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| what do you guys think?
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:42:20 AM | thanks but umm lol no I've never done those kinds of mushrooms or anything similar . | |
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| what do you guys think?
Posted: 6/16/2008 6:40:59 PM | I truly like your poem. Why did you write it? I'd look at the punctuation more, but wouldn't worry about it since it is free flowing and should be kept this way. I think if you write it vertically, it'd be a bit easier to read. I'd love to read more of your work, if you ever care to share! I like how you describe blood as "life giving." I also like the line: "My soul has fled in hiding it is no longer in control, my skin is tingling, and aching it has a deep yearning for the unknown sensations and touch." I think a lot of people can relate to this line.  | |
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