| If you knew now that you are never going to find that perfect person...
Posted: 6/8/2008 3:42:33 AM | I generally find the desire to find the "perfect person" "the one for me" around bedtime when I get the horn other than that I'm quite happy mooching along in life in my own eccentic and hermit little way .
People drive me nuts and I need my own space way too much !! | |
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| If you knew now that you are never going to find that perfect person...
Posted: 6/8/2008 3:43:50 AM | Grumpy I never think to look at your age but I almost fell off the sofa when I read your daughter is almost 18!!  Would never have guessed..
Back on topic..no..I don't need to have someone in my life.
I have loved the times when I have been single.
I definitely won't stay in a relationship with someone if it's not right for me.
It can take time to realise you're quite happy as you are though..I do admit that. | |
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| If you knew now that you are never going to find that perfect person...
Posted: 6/8/2008 3:47:25 AM | I agree with you - if I don't find that 'special someone', well I've got a life of my own that I'm quite happy with, and if I do happen to find someone, well it's a bonus :)
Although, as a side note, generally those who 'know' that they are never going to find 'the one' often throw out signals in their body language which deter people, thus it becomes self fulfilling prophecy.........
There is a difference between not being too bothered about finding 'the one' (like yourself and I), and someone who just knows that they'll never find 'the one'. | |
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| If you knew now that you are never going to find that perfect person...
Posted: 6/8/2008 3:50:00 AM | The perfect person now may not necessarily be the perfect person in 10 years time anyway. People change due to events, experiences or just the people around them.
I'd like to have someone to share my life with, but if it doesn't happen then I'm not going to let it drive me crazy. | |
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| If you knew now that you are never going to find that perfect person...
Posted: 6/8/2008 4:09:12 AM | I am the only one out of my friends in my age group that has never settled down into a LTR or felt the slightest desire to get married.
They always seem to pity me and tell me i NEED to settle down with a good man,this annoys me as i am a happy confident person and dont feel like i NEED to do anything!.
What i WANT though is to one day meet somebody who actually holds my interest and excites my mind enough to WANT to share my life with,until that time i am happy and content in my own company.Thats another bloody typical leo point of view | |
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| If you knew now that you are never going to find that perfect person...
Posted: 6/8/2008 4:32:06 AM | Yes..very soft rug thankyou!!
It never crossed my mind that you might have been a teenage mother...but you just don't look old enough to have a daughter that age...
Your way of thinking is like mine...want someone, but not need someone...
Too many of my friends in years gone by have gone out with people because they didn't want to be single..and some still do now..It saddens me that they can't be happy on their own and see it as their partner being the one to 'make' them happy.
You've got to be happy in yourself I think before you start a relationship and happiness shouldn't depend on another person..it's down you yourself. | |
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| If you knew now that you are never going to find that perfect person...
Posted: 6/8/2008 4:48:10 AM | I see this in so many people’s profiles...looking for Mr Perfect or Mr Right. Well to answer your question, let me tell you that you are never going to find either.
I do not have the perfect life, job, car, mum, dad, brother, kids... guess what I never will but I have them and love them to bits. Why do I love them...probably because they are not perfect. Love is more about you melting into their lives than you wanting them to live up to your expectations. We as individuals are constantly changing our outlook on life, I am certainly not the same person I was at 16 therefore my Miss Perfect then is a different Miss Perfect I would want today. They are technically two different people, but they could be the same person you just need to see them as the same person. As they say I am not looking for a person I can live with, I am looking for a person I cannot live without, perfection has nothing to do with it.
I am off back to my hammock now with my bottle of beer, good luck with Mr/Mrs perfect all. | |
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| If you knew now that you are never going to find that perfect person...
Posted: 6/8/2008 4:53:51 AM | Good question.
I would love to share my life(tragic as it is) with someone but if it doesn't then i will still have had a full life.
I guess no onle likes the idea of being alone forever but it happens to lots of people.
I would love to be one of those old couples you see that still walk hand in hand and that are still deeply in love but i know life doesn't work out like that.
I count myself lucky i met someone who i loved deeply and had a child with. It ended badly but at least i had 9 years with someone who i loved.
It will probably only really sink in when my daughter moves out but by then i will be much older and wiser,hopfully. | |
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| If you knew now that you are never going to find that perfect person...
Posted: 6/8/2008 4:59:46 AM | My esteemed forumite Kath111 has it spot on......
meet somebody who actually holds my interest and excites my mind enough to WANT to share my life with,until that time i am happy and content in my own company 
I'd rather be alone than with the wrong person .....  | |
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| If you knew now that you are never going to find that perfect person...
Posted: 6/8/2008 5:02:53 AM | I doubt very much i'll ever meet that 'perfect' person, I'm just not that lucky.
I certainly don't need anyone, but it'd make a nice change to have someone to cook a meal for other than myself, sometimes cook a meal for me, put my arm around when watching a dvd, and someone who likes falling asleep on me at the end of the night! But whether I get that or not, I've got my job, car, home, I don't 'need' any more than that. | |
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| If you knew now that you are never going to find that perfect person...
Posted: 6/8/2008 6:06:07 AM | Grumpy.
I exchanged a note with you in a previous POF existance and also know you from another site where we all share a common interest. You ain't hard you simply are grown up enough to know yourself and no different from many other people here.
To not settle for anything less than we know to be right for ourselves is difficult but on the other side it prevents us from hurting other people in the process.
Everyone is different.Hopefully in our lives we have even for a brief time a touch from the person who is right for us.If we are lucky it endures and grows but often it is lost for various reasons.
There is a great happiness around us in our children,friends and in what we love.Contentment within ourselves is no crime and we need that to see the light shine from others.It is also true that things come when we least expect them and from unexpected quarters,life is not predetermined but is full of suprises.
I shall go take my hairy beasts swimming now and know I shall talk with people I have never met before.But that is what life is all about--enjoying the moment and taking pleasure in the unexpected.
By the way I hope the wet duvet was'nt anything serious. | |
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| If you knew now that you are never going to find that perfect person...
Posted: 6/8/2008 6:14:21 AM | As per title.
Imagine that you just know that you are never going to find that perfect (for you) person to share the rest of your life with - how would you feel?
I have recently realised that in all honesty I am not bothered if I never find my "ideal match".
Being quite happy on my own, I would not settle for second best just be with someone.
I like my life as it is now, with my daughter 18 next week (time flies), lazy weekends doing nothing but walking the dog with other dog owners friends, not having to rush home to cook/clean/do anything for anyone else.
So I guess I would feel just ok.
What about you?
Do you really need to have someone in your life?
I already know that I'm never going to find anyone. I'm okay about it now though, since I've realised there's a load of negatives with having someone, and I've pretty much gone off women anyway, I really feel like I'm not really interested in them in that way anymore. | |
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| If you knew now that you are never going to find that perfect person...
Posted: 6/8/2008 6:47:34 AM | I'm quite happy on my own...I can come and go as I please and don't have
to answer to anybody except myself or have anybody giving me orders.....
If I want to burp or fart I can do so as many times as I please and If I want
to watch the football later in just my white y fronts thats completely up to me.....
The only thing I often wonder is would things have been different if I didn't have
a disability as I can't compete with other men on here nor am I ever given a chance!
I hope the thought of me watching the football later hasn't put anybody of their sunday lunch!!
To answer the OP's question no I don't need anyone in my life....There is only
so much rejection a man can take anyway and its not fun knowing your not good enough. | |
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| If you knew now that you are never going to find that perfect person...
Posted: 6/8/2008 7:02:52 AM | hey macforty, you wrote my post for me... except for the bedtime horn bit
i'm really happy in my own little world, humans irk me and i enjoy my own company too much to worry about never finding that person...
maybe one day he will come along, but if not, hey ho.... | |
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| If you knew now that you are never going to find that perfect person...
Posted: 6/8/2008 7:17:24 AM | i have sometimes thought that not finding 'mr right' or whatever you want to call him was the way my life would pan out...who knows, it still may end up that way as it's early days for my new relationship.
i have to say though that my thoughts on such a fate vary wildly according to lot's of different factors such as how well things are going in other area's of my life, time of the month, etc...
so whereas one month i might be quite happy with the thought that i may never get really close to a man again, the next month that thought could fill me with complete dread.
is anyone really that single minded that they don't fluctuate in how they feel about something as fundamental as companionship, intimacy and love? | |
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| If you knew now that you are never going to find that perfect person...
Posted: 6/8/2008 9:29:54 AM | hmm well i dont want a perfect person..i want someone with a whole load of flaws and imperfections lol
However i do get what you mean. On that note i would rather be alone than with the wrong person.
however i would like to find a significant other to share all my imperfections with lol. Will i ever meet them..i do hope so
lou
xx | |
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| If you knew now that you are never going to find that perfect person...
Posted: 6/8/2008 9:50:20 AM |
Imagine that you just know that you are never going to find that perfect (for you) person to share the rest of your life with - how would you feel? Part of me knows that statistics show the probability of there being one perfect match for me, and me actually finding that woman is slim. Part of me believes I did find her, but lost her. But mostly I believe she is out there, and one day, we will meet.
Do you really need to have someone in your life? I never used too. | |
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| If you knew now that you are never going to find that perfect person...
Posted: 6/8/2008 10:37:03 AM | I think i came to the realisation i will probably always be on my own, about 2 years ago now - given certain factors.
My age
The fact i wont date married or seperated men.
That i dont want to just jump into bed with someone - ive been celibate around 2 yrs now, and i dont just want a quick legover. can get that anywhere IF i wanted that.
I dont think im particularly "picky", i just want honesty, not to be kept secret, normal. and it appears it gets harder to find the older you get.
I want, not NEED, for you should never need because if you do it means you lack something within yourself, someone i can love. who can accept being loved, completely. someone who doesnt feel the need to have other women "on the go" and be the centre of my world.
I think i know in my heart of hearts (sadly) that i'm a rare breed and it isnt going to happen.
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| If you knew now that you are never going to find that perfect person...
Posted: 6/8/2008 4:29:50 PM |
I have recently realised that in all honesty I am not bothered if I never find my "ideal match".
That's the best news I've read all day OP...you're finally evolving and that bloke who has been chasing after you on here may get his wicked way with you after all !!
Being quite happy on my own, I would not settle for second best just be with someone.
...oh I spoke too soon...oh well, as someone else wrote, that sort of defeatist attitude will get you nowhere..
Don't you think that settling for second best would also include deciding that being alone is better than not meeting that perfect man ?
either way...both scenarios are called 'settling' to my point of view.
For me personally I've got to many other things going on to be a professional man catcher and I'm concentrating for the moment on doing what's important like ....distracting myself from the terrible reality of my lonesome situation. | |
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| If you knew now that you are never going to find that perfect person...
Posted: 6/8/2008 4:59:30 PM | I'd carry on but would be gutted.
I enjoy being single, but I miss little things like curling up with someone on the sofa watching crap TV, and having duvet days, going out for meals with partners instead of friends, those sorts of things.
I dont deal with loneliness very well! lol | |
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