| Sexually Involved with One, Looking for Love and Serious Relationship from Another!!!
Posted: 6/8/2008 9:59:45 AM | | To satisfy their sexual needs, many will turn to and be involved with whoever is willing to have sex with them, and at the same time, they will look further for someone else for serious relationship and love. Do you think that such behavior is acceptable and is this more common to males or females? Would you date such a person, and if you would, what kind of relationship would you want to have with such a person? | |
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| Sexually Involved with One, Looking for Love and Serious Relationship from Another!!!
Posted: 6/8/2008 10:51:12 AM | Acceptable?
Sure... expected even. Needs must be met... Celibacy is not a healthy option for me, so I wouldn't expect it of somebody else.
Seems to be spread pretty even amongst men and women.
Would I date her.. sure...
I don't like to label a relationship from the start. You don't really get to know each other till you've spent some time together... months... had a few disagreements... that's when you really get to know somebody...
LOL.. not that I'm looking for disagreements... | |
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| Sexually Involved with One, Looking for Love and Serious Relationship from Another!!!
Posted: 6/8/2008 10:58:36 AM |
LOL.. not that I'm looking for disagreements...
No.... you're just lovin' that make-up-sex!!!
OT: I agree with Von Erik.... people will do what people will do to satisfy their needs. Some can go years (*shudder*) without sex while others cannot. It's the differences in us that make the world a wonderful place.
Would I date someone like that? Sure.... as long as he stopped gettin' it from others while we are together.
What kind of relationship? Ummmm..... you mean just because they enjoyed casual sex prior to us being together that there's a "different" kind of relationship choice to have? I don't understand that last question.
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| Sexually Involved with One, Looking for Love and Serious Relationship from Another!!!
Posted: 6/8/2008 11:13:35 AM | I dont think Id be intimate with anyone whos ' involved with anyone willing to have sex with them'. 'Anyone' being the key word.
As far as a bed buddy, friends w benefits? I think in this day and age when everyone is so busy w work, kids, families ect.. a 'special friend' is a bonus.
Would I continue on w a friends w benefits if I was 'dating' someone?
Nope...Id be having sex w him! | |
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| Sexually Involved with One, Looking for Love and Serious Relationship from Another!!!
Posted: 6/8/2008 11:47:36 AM |
No.... you're just lovin' that make-up-sex!!!
F*ckin' A!!! A middle of the fight grudge f*ck can be fun too... talk about bruises...
I'm going to have more T shirts made for my website, under the logo it's going to say "If this fight isn't leading to make up sex... then I quit"
Or maybe "If this fight is leading to make up sex... you win"
Another on the list is "I have a ball gag with your name on it"
I would continue seeing others until monogamy is agreed on. I won't call it a serious relationship until it feels like one.
If I start thinking of it as a serious relationship I'm more likely to turn a blind eye to habits or behaviours that would normaly be red flags, telling myself... oh that's not so bad, I can handle that... if I work at it more we can change that....
But sooner or later it all piles up and I explode...
Better to get to really know each other first and find the boundaries. | |
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| Sexually Involved with One, Looking for Love and Serious Relationship from Another!!!
Posted: 6/8/2008 11:50:12 AM | Do you think that such behavior is acceptable and is this more common to males or females? Would you date such a person, and if you would, what kind of relationship would you want to have with such a person?
don't be silly of course it's more common among females.
whether it's acceptable or not there are hundreds if not thousands of people who do it. | |
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| Sexually Involved with One, Looking for Love and Serious Relationship from Another!!!
Posted: 6/8/2008 11:57:52 AM | Meh, I don't think they turn to "whoever is willing to have sex with them" as most need some form of attraction to want to bang another.
I think it is equally common for men and women. People do these things.
Date what kind of person? Are you asking would I date someone who was only interested in sex with me while looking for something better or are you asking if I would date someone who thought I was the something better but had casual relationships before me? | |
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| Sexually Involved with One, Looking for Love and Serious Relationship from Another!!!
Posted: 6/8/2008 1:29:52 PM |
You have the good point...what would you do in each case?
With the former, it would depend. Are we using each other or are there one sided feelings involved. If we are using each other while continuing to search - no harm, no foul. If either of us are developing feelings that the other doesn't share then it's something that will lead to pain for one or both parties and I'd rather not be involved.
With the latter, it really doesn't matter what someone had before me. All that really matters is what they have with me. Assuming, of course, that me being the something better means they no longer continue to want to have casual and meaningless relationship but build one with just me. | |
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| Sexually Involved with One, Looking for Love and Serious Relationship from Another!!!
Posted: 6/8/2008 5:44:59 PM | | To expect people to remain celibate and not fulfill their carnal urges would be inane! Most people want to satisfy their desires - while at the same time seeking that perfect person - to set up life with! Definitley at that point those urges would be for the one and only and not shared around! Almost everyone has a past - a past with sexual experiences - to hold that against them would be fruitless! | |
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| Sexually Involved with One, Looking for Love and Serious Relationship from Another!!!
Posted: 6/8/2008 5:56:45 PM | | Well, I guess it would be hard to avoid if you are looking for long term and find a lover in the process. That has happened to me. How can one know if someone is long term or not unless they spend time with them and get to know them over many months, which includes, I will speak for myself, a sexual relationship. Then both of us realize we want different things when we get down to the nitty gritty, like spiritualism and how to live together and the importance of taking care of aging family members, etc. Then, once we are comfortable with each other as sexual partners, it is pretty hard to stop that while looking for something better. At this point it is a question of morals and what is right for each individual. To each their own. Personally I would feel like I was cheating on one by even dating another, but that's just me. Gawd, I'm weird....at the same time I am not the possesive type. Go figure. | |
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N*Love
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Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 15 | |
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| Sexually Involved with One, Looking for Love and Serious Relationship from Another!!!
Posted: 6/10/2008 10:25:33 AM | What someone does before I show up and as I am just starting to date them and get to know them is none of my business as what I do would be none of his.
I think what you are talking about is an fwb, or a consensual fuk buddy, and there is usually a mutual understanding that if either individual becomes involved and sexually active with someone else, the benefits end. No one is using someone else and to me, this helps people to not jump into bed too early in the relationship, something that can cloud judgment whether a woman or a man. This is a situation in which all parties are honest and I don't see this as any indication that I will suffer poor treatment in the future because of a lack of character or indicative of someone that does not care about other people and how his actions affect them.
If someone knows that the other person wants more, even if they haven't discussed it, when they have no intention of ever having a relationship with that person, essentially leaving them in perpetual hope. Or has convinced a woman or man that they are wanting to or having a relationship in order to have sex while they look for someone they really want to have a relationship with, that is shitty. Unfortunately, the other person is generally not aware of this until they get dumped, so it is not like most people would choose this type of situation.
If I found out that someone had treated a woman this way, no, I would not want a relationship with him because he could easily treat me so callously. This is really no different than the man or woman who has no intention of having a relationship with anybody but recognizes that without at least the facade of a relationship, the great sex that goes with it is off the table. It is not a matter of looking for someone else, they don't want a relationship period but find that most people do, so they lie, also shitty.
Some people, however, really do not want a relationship and yet do not really want casual sex which is I think why some people have affairs with married folks, they do not expect them to leave the wife or husband and that is why they want the quasi-relationship because they can get the perks without the drawbacks. Also a crappy way to live. | |
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| Sexually Involved with One, Looking for Love and Serious Relationship from Another!!!
Posted: 6/10/2008 10:57:24 AM | It's like the people at a Catholic Church picnic....99% are there for the fuk buddy.
Sat night, I was at mine talking with my high school friends when this pretty brunette walked up and rubbed me and my friends backs saying "hi guys". We all talked a little bit and learned she was 36, single, with no kids then my friend and I made a bet. I said...watch, I'll ask for her number then you ask for hers too but I'll bet you $20 she'll go for you. He asked What, Why would she do that for, you're the single guy?
Because from the shitty way you're treating the woman you are with, she can see you're hooked up with a fuk buddy which is what she wants! I won the bet. My friend and his two sons live with his uncle so nothing to lose. He fuked her last night LOL.
Bad thing is I found out from him that she lives two streets over from me so when my son and I go for walks or bike rides....gotta hold myself back from LMAO! | |
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