| If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 2:11:44 PM | | This is based on a lot of the responces I am seeing to the "is it all about sex" thread. If you think so poorly of women, why are you on a dating site? I can't imagine having such a negative view of any group of people and still wanting to be around them. | |
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| If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 2:22:47 PM | I get the sense a lot of guys have given up on the dating aspect of this site, and are just here to vent on the forums. And you're right, it can get rather ugly.
I think if I got to that point (which I don't ever expect to!), I'll leave altogether. | |
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| If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 2:24:42 PM |
If you think so poorly of women, why are you on a dating site?
Some people are desperate OP. Others like to vent and gender bash. Its not only men though. Its some women as well. | |
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| If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 2:29:34 PM | | I do agree some women are just as bad. I guess I just find it odd because, I like men. Most of my coworkers and good friends are male. Of course, I'm sure that being in a male dominated field gives me a little different view then what a lot of women see but I just find it difficult to grasp the anger towards a whole gender. I've had my share of bad experiences with men but you chalk it up to some people are ***holes and move on. | |
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| If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 2:39:25 PM |
If you think so poorly of women, why are you on a dating site?
Some people are desperate OP. Others like to vent and gender bash. Its not only men though. Its some women as well.
Yup... some of both gender are guilty of this..... unfortunately those that vent and gender bash are still sexual creatures and still wanna get laid. A dating site gives them the opportunity to go "shopping" for someone to satisfy those needs.... hence the threads on "why did she/he leave after we had sex?"
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| If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 2:47:59 PM | It seems to me the POF forums are being used as bitter peoples therapy,they get to bash the opposite sex to their hearts content whilst hiding behind a PC and all for free..fab..happy  | |
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| If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 2:54:56 PM | Msg. 1
Negative viewpoints about women or other, dont just happen. They happen when none in ones human enviornment decides to break from those negative sterotypes.
Why then is Sex Appeal in terms of dating or socialization, so very high priority? Especially when the negative sterotypes of personality, are subject supposedly to individual preference's as expressed socially.
In short, rebuilding ones image doesn't mean collecting traits from other well established negative social norms. A sterotype will exist, only for as long as people let their culture decide for them who they are. All cultures, and within all of their sterotypical behaviors.
When a culture decides whom you are, what you are, and what role your culture will let you function in. Then obviously that individual isn't truely, "themselves".
A construct of psychology, when apllied methodically, is still a construct nonetheless. How then is that justified because of "friends", "family","gender" or anything else?
The excuse for the sterotype is found within the persons methods, and methods of negative communication breed negative sterotypes.
But to finally answer the topic:
It is foolish to think, that running away from anothers sterotype (or repulsive people of one sort or another) is usefull. I point out that there is no place to run, to or from. Including avoiding another persons well earned disdain for any subject, when the individual involved in recieving it is rightly percieved, as part of "the problem".
If no error was made in that, then no correction was either.
9 to 9 | |
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| If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 3:01:50 PM | Woman bashing:
One thing I've noticed is that, if women hear something negative about them, they would rather get hurt about it and dismissive rather than learning the lesson that is being said. Which makes them terrible listeners.
Who cares if we're bitter. There's a lesson to be learned. Learn it. I'm a bit self sacrificial when it comes to educating.
It's not because I think poorly of women. It's because I think highly of women. Demanding better standards is an act of love. Unfortunatly, too many women don't know what those "standards" are and get the message messed up. Heck, often we're told what women's standards should be, from women themselves, and if we don't agree we're wrong. | |
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| If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 3:09:57 PM | ^^^^^^ I can garuntee there is no lesson to be learned for me as I don't fall into any of these negative stereotypes nor do most of the women I know. I tend to stay away from the ones that do. Perhaps that just makes me a better judge of character than some. | |
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| If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 3:13:37 PM | Funny...I got an e-mail from a woman asking why a popular guy like me (after all, I have all of 42 members who have made me a "favorite"... :rolleyes) I was on this site at all, why I had poetry on my profile, and why I wasn't living large in the real world...
gawd...
Of course she was a newbie, has never contacted me before, knows nothing about me and states that she will only be on the site for a week before leaving to live it up in her "real" world...
Yes, sometimes this place is real entertaining...
Painting with a broad brush tends to splatter everyone, including yourself.
Annudder | |
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| If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 3:16:46 PM | I have wondered this myself for some time now. The bitterness that comes accross on here in Male/Female bashing. I still think that internet forums do attract a type of personality to them. When you get enough of these personalities coming together it creates this type of bashing.
There is no longer much of any constructive advise here for people having problems it is mostly just name calling and belittling, however always a good source of entertianment on long boring days LOL | |
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| If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 3:25:01 PM | Poorly of women.??
Have another read of ALL the forums. A woman has one bad experience, or not so bad experience, with one solitary man, comes into this site genuinely believing that ALL men are like her ex, and then wonders whats happening when she is told what things are really like. | |
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| If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 4:08:05 PM | Well I just read some of the thread that was brought up at the beginning of this thread.
Take a good look at the posters in that thread, You will see they post like that all the time. Blame game and flaming. Most of them would not be able to see another veiw point no matter what. They are so ingrossed with their own little minds that there is no sense in talking to them or god forbid try to make sense to them.
Now if you take a look around the real world, honestly how much stuff like this do you hear. You might meet a few along your road but they are not the plenty thats for sure. Like I said internet forums attract a certain type of person. Then they get togeather and get the "mob" mentality.
People who do not have an "axe to grind" tend to use forums as a source of entertainment and stay out of the types of bashing threads because after being in forums for awhile you learn that no matter what you say to a person who thinks like this you will never get through. I gave up even trying now. I don't post in those types of threads and when I see one getting out of hand that I might have posted in I don't go back anymore. There is nothing you can say to people that act like that. | |
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| If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 5:25:26 PM | I guess I think poorly of them. But, I think poorly of people in general, men, too. You can blame this 'flame, bash' stuff all you want but I challenge you to explain why this isn't accurate at all? Every time I want to give the benefit of the doubt or see something 'good' or genuine, my suspicions and complaints are validated once again. Besides, I always like pleasant surprises or proofs to the contrary.
I can explain my reasons, can you explain why the 'critics' are wrong?
I think there are a number of reasons, things are the way they are but it's not helping for indifferent and apathetic people to just scoff at them and write it off. It is rather detrimental and pathetic to be content in 'this world' of promoting these 'status quo' attitudes and thinking that anyone who thinks to the contrary is simply a 'flamer', 'basher' or 'whiner.'
When men and women aren't as shallow, superficial, materialistic, manipulative etc. etc., there won't be a reason to think poorly of them. | |
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| If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 6:00:14 PM | I can't really say anything that probably hasn't already been said. I think the main thing, though, is that you can't just lump everybody into one category. Not all of us think poorly of women. Even those of us who might post those "is it all about sex" stuff are probably just letting out some frustration and aggression.
I mean, come on now. You mean to tell me that you've never gotten angry with someone (or a group of people) and said some things that you didn't necessarily mean to say?
That, and I've noticed myself that not everybody who is on this site participates in the forums. The profiles usually show the most recent forum posts that a person has made, and it seems to me that very few of the women that I've seen that have profiles here actually use the forums. The same is probably true with the guys. So what you're seeing here isn't even a representative sample of POF anyway. | |
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| If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 6:09:53 PM | Interestingly enough, I didn't read through that thread and see a lot of negativity or the idea that many think poorly of women. In fact, all were very respectful and honest in the queries I posed even though I'm not in their target range of what they would like to attract or who they find attractive. I would think that if they didn't like women they would have been rude, abrasive and mean to me... a woman.. who was asking them some pretty point blank questions.
Sincere question, having so many male friends - have you never had these kinds of discussions with them? The differences between how men view women in general and how women view women? How they have just a much difficulty finding what that want as women do? Have you never sat around with your girlfriends and lamented about the generalities of men? | |
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| If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 6:12:32 PM | The people bashing people comes down to the age old thing, Positivity breeds positivity, Negativity breeds negativity.
If your negative well expect to find the same. I was only attracting the desperate, guess what it was not them it was me that was attracting then to me. I looked at me and why made some changes and now I seem to be attracting a better type for me. Sometimes you have to look inside you and make changes to who you are and you will notice the people you attract will also be different.
Each gender if different we always have been always will be. In the male relm you will find a higher percentage of players. There are female players but the percentage of players will always be higher among men. The same is true for "gold diggers" Men can be gold diggers but the percent will always be higher among the female gender.
However this does not mean that "all" men are players or "all" females are gold diggers. I know a lot of great guys who would never think of treating a woman with complete disrespect. I know lots of great woman who would never think to treat men with complete disrespect.
If you allow yourself to believe the steriotyping that is running wild then you in the end will lose. Look to yourself ..... Why are you attracting this type of person??? | |
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| If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 7:13:48 PM | | Alex89, you have said exactly what I have been thinking, but you have summed it up clearer, and more concise than I could ever hope to! What is funny is that people whill actually create threads bashing the bashers, wherein they become the the people they so callously refer to as "Whiners". I think it is unfair to make assumptions on an entire gender based only on a few experiences, but everyone get's a little heartbroken, lonely or frustrated, and everyone is entitled to a little venting now and then. Who is anyone to judge those who complain every now and then? After all, after years of dating experience and personality digging and searching, people begin to know what NOT to look for. When those things keep repeatedly coming up, one can't blame them for pointing it out every so often. | |
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| If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 7:16:25 PM | | I'm mostly here for the venting and gender bashing, but offers of sex won't be graded too harshly. | |
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| If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 7:26:56 PM |
This is based on a lot of the responces I am seeing to the "is it all about sex" thread. If you think so poorly of women, why are you on a dating site? I can't imagine having such a negative view of any group of people and still wanting to be around them.
Because we are human and as such we need human interaction. Simply put we all need companionship.
Sometimes we all get frustrated and burned out. I'm sure you've seen that internet banner that says "I just want one man to prove to me that they are not all the same". We as humans all do it. | |
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| If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 7:35:48 PM | Heterosexual men and women are kind of stuck with each other. No matter how much I'd like to find a guy who can read my body language and know why I'm angry without saying a word, I'm not going to find it. Why? Because he's not a woman...he's a man. And I'm sure there's a guy that would love to find a woman who is never emotional and is always rational, but he's likely not going to find that. Why? Because she's not a man...she's a woman.
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Pointing out common negative traits about the opposite sex does not mean you think poorly of them. It means you note a negative trait. If you look at yourself honestly and don't see yourself suffering from it, then don't think twice about it. I'm not blaming you of this OP, but I see many posters take anything said about their gender personally. "I'm not like that!". Ok, great, but someone probably is and that's what's being discussed.
I like men overall, but often times I find myself very frustrated by them. I don't complain about it because it's not my nature, but I can see why some people do. Complaining doesn't mean you don't like the opposite sex. It just means you wish you had more positive examples of them. | |
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| If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 7:41:03 PM | | The BEST think about this site is that EVERYONE gets to say what they feel compelled to contribute. Psuedo-social interaction.....if you're annoyed, you don't need to read it.....it CAN be entertaining! | |
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| If you think so poorly of women
Posted: 6/8/2008 7:41:35 PM | Perhaps my view is skewed because I experience a lot of diversity. I can't remember ever making a generalization about a group of people. That's not my style. I hear it alot and always wonder about it but it's not something I do and even in real life I'm quick to call people on it. But then again, I've always been an odd one. I break people into the "normals" and the rest of us. THe normals, as I call them, are the ones that tend to follow the rules. Then there are the rest of us. Maybe that in itself is the generalization in my world.
Of course, maybe I just think too damn much to. | |
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