| |
| Is it possible to meet a man on POF and fall in love, long distance?
Posted: 6/8/2008 5:31:41 PM | Love is something that comes with time.. so it is possible, but never guaranteed, and is not something that can be found until you spend quality face to face time with each other (get to really know each other).
I would recommend he stay in a hotel or similar whist he visits you, for the main reason that there is less pressure..
I have seen many situation where things go well over the internet, phone etc, but are soon to be seen fall as two get to really know each other.. Most people who get into these situations go in blind sighted, sometimes with hope that is hard to control.
Having him stay in a hotel or similar will allow both of you to feel more comfortable, and in worst case scenario will allow that space if either or both of you find that it was not meant to be between the both of you. Plus it makes the time you spend together more special (apposed to being with each other 24/7 for 10 days).
It has only been 4 weeks, My encouragement to you is to treat this as a testing ground.. without going full forward with any other motivation than to see this guy, spend time with him and get to know him (allowing him to get to know you), and do all this before you make an assumption in your heart and mind that it is love.
In the end if all works out, and in time you find that you are compatible and want to move forward, then yes long distance relationships can work, but not forever. | |
|
| |
| Is it possible to meet a man on POF and fall in love, long distance?
Posted: 6/8/2008 5:50:35 PM | | Couldn't have said it better myself. I know from personal experience that those first meetings offline don't always go as planned. Thankfully, those were never situations where I'd traveled so far that I'd need to get a hotel or something. Still, you never can be too careful. | |
|
| Is it possible to meet a man on POF and fall in love, long distance?
Posted: 6/8/2008 7:13:45 PM | It most defintley possible. I do not beleive that just because you reside in a certain province, state or country for that matter, are you necesarily going to find your "soul mate" there.
Although I do reccomend that he stay in a hotel while he is visiting you. I travelled to Texas from Calgary Canada to meet a gentleman that I had met on line. I too stayed for 10 days, but made the mistake of staying in his home. Unfortunaltly it did not work out for us, but I do beleive that had I of chossen to stay in a hotel things may have turned out a lot differently. He had his routine and way of doing things and I had mine and along with all the other pressures of relationships it was just to much.
I do not however regret meeting and spending those 10 days together, nor has it changed where and how I hope to find my "soul mate".
Good luck and enjoy!! | |
|
| |
| Is it possible to meet a man on POF and fall in love, long distance?
Posted: 6/9/2008 6:58:37 AM | It can work, you just have to use your head. Be careful about things, and trust your instincts.
I met an incredible lady on PoF, who lived down in Colorado (I'm in Ontario).
We talked non-stop for a week (online and on the phone)... and we fell in love in that short time... and while I was a little cautious... I trusted my feelings, and hers...
And so I flew out that night to go see her. Spending over a week with her.
I stayed at a hotel nearby.
Which, as people have said, is a good idea.
You want to take things one step at a time. And "living in" can be a lot of pressure right from the start.
Things for us went wonderfully. We had an incredible time. And shared a great deal of passion. We were together for 6 months. And that time was truly wonderful and blissful for me.
So, don't be afraid to take chances... but just use your head when you do.
And things can work out if you're willing to try. | |
|
| Is it possible to meet a man on POF and fall in love, long distance?
Posted: 6/9/2008 7:08:27 AM | Op awhile back i met a woman online that lived about 200 miles away from we. We chatted for about the same time you and this guy had been talking, we had conversations on the phone also. she decided ( this was her idea) she wanted to come visit one weekend. We talked about it from every different angle, we decided she could stay at my place, If we met and felt some chemistry then we would be spending the weekend "together" . If we met and EITHER one of us was not feeling it, then she would spend the weekend sleeping in my guest room, i would show her a good time around town and we would part as friends.
I picked her up at the airport and the minute i saw her i knew she would be spending the weekend in the guest room. She has lied about quite abit in her profile( said she was 5 feet 7 and weight 150, but she was closer to 5 feet 3 and weighting 180) . Once we got back to my house it got pretty ackward very quickly. Finally after putting off the sleeping arrangments as long as i could , she asked "So where do i sleep?" I very politely showed her the guest room after telling her i honestly was not feeling it. That was the start of the weekend from hell. She instantly got this very nasty attitude and was very hard to get along with. I had enough and told her perhaps it's best if we cut the weekend short.
I learned a very valuable lesson that weekend, No matter how much you discuss these things in advance, and no matter what ground rules you put down, feeling will be hurt because of rejection and it's bound to go south after that.
You commiting yourself to 10 days with someone you never met is a very bad idea. Meet for a much shorter time first to check the chemistry. Online chemistry very rairly turns into real life chemistry..... take it from someone who has been there...... Don't do it. | |
|
| Is it possible to meet a man on POF and fall in love, long distance?
Posted: 6/9/2008 3:53:28 PM | Will it seriously work? 98% chance it wont. I refuse to even entertain the idea of long distance relationships....here is why....call me closed minded if you want....I really dont care.
1. If I am with someone I want to be able to see them when the mood hits, not when we can get good airline rates.
2. I guarantee you that when he is feeling the need for sex...he is not thinking...but I have a girlfriend I have only met in person once that lives 800 miles away and I really should save myself for her. GUARANTEED.
3. You can not really get to know someone online no matter how much time you spend chatting...phone is the same way. People can be someone they are not in that manner and they can pretend to be the same way on the occasional visit.
Oh and by the way...for our beloved members of the military..this does not and should not apply to you. | |
|
| Is it possible to meet a man on POF and fall in love, long distance?
Posted: 6/9/2008 4:15:37 PM | Possible yes...probable no. It's possible to win the lottery, but the odds are against it.
Wisdom is knowing as much as possible about the risk you take before you take it. And being prepared for the fact that it may not work out.
If you haven't already discussed the possibilites if it does work out, then it's just more likely going to be a fantasy that doesn't usually have a happy ending. | |
|
| Is it possible to meet a man on POF and fall in love, long distance?
Posted: 6/9/2008 8:59:37 PM | Possible. IMprobable though. I've had two. Both based on long phone calls, Emails etc etc and there WAS a huge attraction both times. As with Wildman 46's story BOTH mine went south because of their dishonesty. It is easy to tell fibs over the net or by phone and that can/will happen early in a remote relationship because initially there's no expectation of meeting. When things progress the lies stand out more and when you meet - BOOOM. BUSTED. .... NOT a good thing and it can be enormously hurtful if you're naive enough to believe what's been said and that one can develop the "chemistry" of LOVE over a phone line.
You should expect the wurst (sic) and arrange things just-in-case so he isn't in the guest bedroom beside yours when after meeting him he gives you the creeps and you're sure he's a recently released hatchet murderer.
Best of luck and if it does work out well for you BOTH( YOU may fall in love with the real him but even if he's a really nice guy that doesn't mean he's gonna fall in love with you) I think you're both lucky and blessed. | |
|
| Is it possible to meet a man on POF and fall in love, long distance?
Posted: 6/10/2008 1:15:51 AM | 10 days and the expectation of love? Hey, I'd like to be a pilot, but there's no way I'm jumping into a F22 Hornet and expecting to land without erupting into a fireball.
You really need to think about making it just a day or two and then maybe the next eight can come into play. He needs to stay at a hotel either way, though. It just puts less emotional burdens on both of you. If there's no mutual feelings for each other, then you can both part ways easier. He can stay in town and enjoy the rest of his vacation regardless. And you won't have the need to babysit him or feel guilty about it not "clicking" for you two if you go this way.
Essentially, just leave yourself the most options to get out if this turns into a mistake. But if it works out, then cool. You're doing better than most of us. | |
|
| Is it possible to meet a man on POF and fall in love, long distance?
Posted: 6/10/2008 3:26:39 AM | Is there NO men in Texas ????
A long distance relationship for me is one that is outside the province or state. I did it in the past. I won't do it anymore. I admit in those days I was not the same guy.
Are some of us so lonely, that anybody that gives us attention we lose our heads ???
If a person cannot attract local (within a province or state)people, that should be a red flag.
| |
|
| Is it possible to meet a man on POF and fall in love, long distance?
Posted: 6/10/2008 5:34:11 AM | You can find love walking down the street or shopping in the store, why can't you do it with some distance between you as well. As much as people like to think they can control it, we have no control over who we fall in love with. It might happen in a week, or it might happen in five years. I think if you want love, you are open to love, and you do not shy away from it when its finally there, anything is possible.
(Keep in mind I assume you both want more than just a booty call)
As far as where he should stay, well I can tell you he is not coming a long distance from his own life to be a small part of yours. He may stay in a hotel, or he may stay at your house, but don't think for a second that distance he is traveling means he only wants to see you a few hours each day he is there. If I traveled a certain distance, and I was doing it for the soul purpose of meeting someone I was romantically attracted to, I would be kind of insulted to spend most of my time alone. | |
|
| Is it possible to meet a man on POF and fall in love, long distance?
Posted: 6/10/2008 9:53:36 AM | Op as you havent even met this man I think 10 days is a little much. Maybe 3 or 4 would be better. If things work out well he can extend his stay or make plans for longer the next time. If things should be uncomfortable for one or the other then 3 days is not the end of the world to spend entertaing him and showing him the sights, but 10 days would surly cause resentment in one or the other if there is not a connection.
Do I think it could work?.....possible but not probable...........in any event you would always wonder if you dont try.
GOOD LUCK.................... | |
|
| |
| Is it possible to meet a man on POF and fall in love, long distance?
Posted: 6/10/2008 12:32:49 PM | I don't think anyone sane can fall in love on the phone or via email.
There's so much more to attraction and infactuation than just talking. You can maintain a relationship you already have long distance - for a while. You can build an intellectual connection, create the feelings that make you want to meet to them badly enough to travel. You might read someone's email/talk on the phone and think they could be great, one in a thousand. Ultimately, no matter how fantastic you think someone is, you won't know until they are in front of you. | |
|
| Is it possible to meet a man on POF and fall in love, long distance?
Posted: 6/10/2008 3:43:55 PM | My ex-wife just re-married last weekend to a fellow she met on the 'net. Not sure if it was here or not.
They lived 3-½ hours apart; her here in Ontario, him in Ohio. Their long-distance relationship lasted about five years.
So, yes, it's possible.
Good luck!
PS: My ex- and I get along so well that I was a little hurt that I wasn't invited to the wedding! | |
|
| Is it possible to meet a man on POF and fall in love, long distance?
Posted: 6/10/2008 4:33:07 PM |
I don't think anyone sane can fall in love on the phone or via email.
There's so much more to attraction and infactuation than just talking. You can maintain a relationship you already have long distance - for a while. You can build an intellectual connection, create the feelings that make you want to meet to them badly enough to travel. You might read someone's email/talk on the phone and think they could be great, one in a thousand. Ultimately, no matter how fantastic you think someone is, you won't know until they are in front of you.
Out of the mouths of babes......  | |
|
| |
| Is it possible to meet a man on POF and fall in love, long distance?
Posted: 6/10/2008 6:42:53 PM | My boyfriend is 3.5 hours away from me. It's been like that over a year now and will probably continue that way for a lot longer. There's no rush to live in the same city and we both have full lives, so we're not dependent on each other. We're only together merely because we want to be. ...not because of convenience, or loneliness, nor finances.
My last relationship started as long distance as well and that lasted 7 years total. | |
|
| Is it possible to meet a man on POF and fall in love, long distance?
Posted: 6/10/2008 9:36:10 PM | | He should stay with you. You should sleep with him on the first night and be his sex slave. After 10 days, he will leave and you will never hear from him again. Take lots of pictures--it is likely to be the only relationship you will ever have. | |
|
| Is it possible to meet a man on POF and fall in love, long distance?
Posted: 6/11/2008 7:02:54 AM | It's certainly _Possible_..!!
[Personal experience, aside...]
As long as you're comfortable sharing your home with him.....
..you may as well offer to share the Bed, too..!!
Not a Big deal....unless he's got some reservations about it...
Discuss the 'arrangement'...any way that suits you..!! | |
|
| Is it possible to meet a man on POF and fall in love, long distance?
Posted: 6/11/2008 7:28:13 AM | OP, 4 weeks is just starting a relationship...it is a good time to actually meet face to face BEFORE you allow yourself to develop any type of emotional connection. Love can and does happen EVERYWHERE. But 10 days is a long time to be with someone if you find out you dont really like them.
I met a guy once from Chicago, I lived in Va. at the time, we talked for over 3 months online and on the phone. He flew in for 5 days...everything he had told me was a lie. He told me he had sent pictures twice (thru the mail) but I never received them, when I saw him at the airport I knew he had lied about that. It wasnt that he was that BAD looking. It was the ALL the lies, I just couldnt get past them. My ex has been a liar and I had no desire to repeat a life where there is no trust....He left the next day. Seven months later I met my ex online, we were together for over 8 years...but I met him about 4 weeks after we first met and before I had any emotional connection to him | |
|
| Is it possible to meet a man on POF and fall in love, long distance?
Posted: 6/11/2008 9:13:43 AM | After thinking about this for a while, I think he can. I could fall in love with a woman LD. But would probably not be a good position to be in. It would be similar to unrequited love. When you finally meet and you don't click, you'd heal almost instantly, but if you did click, you'd probably end up doing foolish things people do when in love. You know... like move!
What are the odds both would flip? Wow... scary and exciting all in one package. | |
|
Home
login 
