| Passion [CLOSED for Mod Review]
Posted: 6/8/2008 7:47:46 PM | | I started answering some on this and other dating sites. One thing that i noticed (from reading messages) is that i had to be politically correct. I wanted to be passionate by saying things like, you look sexy and inviting but i was scared. I found myself being so dam cautious i forgot i wanted to date this person, it was like an office conversation, rather then being on a dating site. Is an outburst of passion dead or for 45+ is it dead. | |
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Posted: 6/8/2008 8:16:28 PM | With all due respect, OP ... telling a woman she is sexy and inviting sounds more like you're horny, than passionate. There is a difference.
Just my opinion ...
cdn guy | |
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Posted: 6/8/2008 8:45:24 PM | | cdn guy, tell them what you feel, but if you are like me you are scared of what it sounds like rather then what it is. | |
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Posted: 6/8/2008 9:18:54 PM | | Why do you want to sound passionate on a dating site when you haven't met the woman? cdn*guy is so right. Saying a woman looks sexy and inviting makes you just sound horny and the 'inviting' part sounds creepy. You can't feel real passion about someone you don't know. Passion applies to an emotion that is deeply stirring or ungovernable. In my opinion, you cannot feel passionately about someone or something you have no knowledge of. Save the passion for a woman you truly care about and know. Most women prefer not to be treated as sex objects and your statement would put most women off. It would be much better to say "You have a great smile" or "I think you are very attractive". You get the message across that you are attracted to her without denegrating her. | |
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Posted: 6/8/2008 9:31:07 PM | | Its my passion, outburst, whatever you want to call it. It instant ,its emotional. Having said that it exactly magnifies my point.Everything has to be calculated ,studied, rationalized udderwise it is presumed to be questionable HAS TO BE POLITICALLY CORRECT. That, to me is sad and disturbing. | |
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Posted: 6/8/2008 9:45:35 PM | It instant ,its emotional.
Most of us do not consider it either "sad and disturbing" or "politically correct" not to spout off the first things that pop into our minds. We measure our words, and gauge how they will be received, and consider it maturity.  | |
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Posted: 6/8/2008 9:51:45 PM | | you have to remember, tg, you are talking to someone who has not met You yet, so regardless of the way it SEEMS political, if you want to date a woman, you want to make a good first impression--if you want to make a good first impression, you dont want to be misunderstood. What I do when I receive a mail from Anyone new, is I look at their profile before replying to make a quickie assessment of their character --If a guy says I'm sexy(instead of 'attractive)for example, I still may write to him if he appears sane -and intelligent --in his profile. but if his profile has nearly naked women all over the background or something similar, I dont reply --its amazing what a little info and pics can say about a person. just my 2 cents, thanx, kj | |
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Posted: 6/8/2008 10:29:45 PM | | The key word here is misunderstood. Why would a woman misunderstand. Why would a woman perceive this is a bad impression rather then an honest feeling, which is based on a truthful pic and absolute truthful profiles? She can always not answer or filter him out. The one compelling unknown is if this is feeling of all woman or the ones 45+. | |
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Posted: 6/8/2008 10:50:06 PM | To me this has nothing to do with 'politically correct' but lack of sensitivity or courtesy.....at 53 you should know by now the fundamental differences between mens attraction modes (visual)... and womens (personal and mental FIRST) .
From a womans point of view what you claim as a 'passionate' outburst, voicing attraction to an 'image' as if perusing a Playboy centerfold....in OUR minds all we see is a horny man who doesn't give a rats patutty who WE are as human beings! Get it?? Lusting after a picture, is just that....lust not passion.
Besides she could be the biggest money grubbing b!tch since time immemorial, but do you care while you're looking and fantasizing at her picture? No, because you thought she 'looked' hot. This is passion to you?
It's fine to say "Wow, you're gorgeous!" but don't confuse physical attraction to reality and think some woman will feel the same...or call it passion and feel all that flattered. Even pretty girls want to feel more than just a piece of meat that some man is drooling over.
Listen to kriashun, she said it much more delicately. | |
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Posted: 6/9/2008 12:53:57 AM | Theres NO "misunderstanding" (only on your part).
If you're crapping on to some woman you've never even met,& you're bandying round the word,"passion" it comes across as SLEAZY,not honest.
Capeesh ?? | |
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Posted: 6/9/2008 3:47:20 AM | ^^ well, he's honest about feeling sleazy
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Posted: 6/9/2008 4:03:31 AM | Even when a woman is showing cleavage and has a profile describing the wonderful sex life she will give the right guy, a passionate statement from a man about how she has made herself appear will draw a passionate response about how men just thin about sex. 
Women would have a better time of it when men have a switch installed on their forehead that operates the sexual mechanisms for them. They won't have to fear inappropriate behaviors when the switch is off and can put a lock on it when their not together.
I'm still in the design stage of making a dildo with upper body strength but I'm stuck on how to simulate warm blooded spontaneity on demand. | |
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Posted: 6/9/2008 6:34:12 AM | tg........how can you feel passion about a picture or messages? One needs physical presence to feel passion. After meeting then thats a different story....you have established the persons physical and emotional presence.
Remember when messaging you could be espousing your "passion " to an 18 year old boy. | |
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Posted: 6/9/2008 11:24:31 AM | | How funny one equates a mans feelings and passion as sleazy. You have to feel sleazy to be sleazy. As far as crapping lady, you must have a full load.Those who have absolute no and i mean no confidence in themselves feel threatend by a mans passion. | |
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Posted: 6/9/2008 1:21:26 PM | Well obviously you didn't want any 'womens' opinions on the subject....so why did you ask?
Doesn't it strike you as odd that the women here prefer that you get to know them before telling them how you feel 'passion' for them???
Picture does not = Person, in our world.
Shouldn't every day be a learning day?
But instead of reflecting on the answers you've been given, by the people you are supposedly trying to ATTRACT....you got offended by the one less tactful.
What it smells like to us is, ."Take what I want to give you...and shut-up... if I'd wanted your stupid womans opinion I would have asked for it."
Oops.... looks like you did  . | |
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Posted: 6/9/2008 1:21:36 PM | | passion is certainly not dead here but i can only speak for myself ....i would be turned off by someone saying that in an initial conversation. "sexy and inviting" comes off as you being another horny guy not a passionate older man. a hint to all men honestly wanting to comment to a woman here....READ HER PROFILE and comment on something she writes about NOT how she looks!!! | |
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Posted: 6/9/2008 1:33:58 PM | I think many people have unrealistic expectations about dating, chemistry & passion, especially when they reach a certain age...Barbie wants Ken & vice versa....what about real people w/ their head on their shoulders & feet on the ground looking for character, personality as well as some physical attraction?
people need to get real | |
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Posted: 6/9/2008 2:02:13 PM | If you want to feel deep passion...there should be something really...really good from the first sight!Perhaps voice...eyes...etc...something that wants you to know a person better...
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Posted: 6/9/2008 2:06:25 PM | tableguy,
I know this is a dating site...
but really, in my opinion,
the best thing to do is have the first few contacts be as polite as you would if you came upon the woman in the street/store and wanted to make contact.
If a woman, a stranger, said hello to you in the store...
would you say back to her, "you look sexy and inviting"?
And, if you DID... what do you think she'd think/say/do? | |
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Posted: 6/9/2008 3:22:46 PM | | Some woman can handle the compliment others can't.There is nothing crude or vulgar about such a remark. Its only an outburst of emotion based on a pic and profile.There are at least two sets of feelings based on gendre you have to consider.If spontaneous passion is not one of them there are ways of responding. It is strictly out of fear that these remarks are equated with sleazy not rationality.If anyone wants to see sleazy turn on to a sponsored site "Fling".You will see every bodily part with a caption to match. So everytime you get a email from plentyoffish dont buckle your knees from fear | |
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Posted: 6/9/2008 3:31:42 PM |
There are at least two sets of feelings based on gendre you have to consider.
...and clearly you're not taking most women into consideration when you're sending them first contact emails calling them "sexy and inviting".
What your intentions are VS how it's perceived are two entirely different things.
It reads...sleazy...and you need to take that into consideration if you're seeking a genuine relationship.
OT: Your pics remind me of Weekend at Bernies. I'm just saying.... | |
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Posted: 6/9/2008 3:40:15 PM | | Nicky In your opinion you find it sleazy.Boy you must have the bar real high.You are the perfect example of why passion is not expressed but political correctness is adhered to.There are two ways to skin a cat one be nice at first and then devour or be genuine at first, you choose | |
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Posted: 6/9/2008 3:54:23 PM | Well I can certainly identify with the type of passion you're talking about, OP. I can feel it every month as I browse through the pages of my monthly Penthouse magazine. Not only that, but as I move from page to page, admiring the lovely woman, I can feel my passion growing.
cdn guy | |
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Posted: 6/9/2008 3:57:48 PM | OP.......are you at it again?
There are two ways to skin a cat one be nice at first and then devour or be genuine at first, you choose
How about being nice and genuine? Seems like a plan to me. Might work for you. | |
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Posted: 6/9/2008 4:04:09 PM | I found many of the posts on this thread to be absolutley childish/and or foolish. Not to disrespect anyone, BUT - I think passion is displayed in both actions and words. How do you treat a woman? Do you do little things that for her that send her the signal that she means something to you? Do you say nice things about and to her? Do you compliment her appearance and personality? Maybe write her a little note, card or email that says something nice or even meaningful? All these these things spell passion I think - And I must say, most men think complimenting a woman is saying things like they are sexy or inviting. It doesn't actually mean the guy is a horny pig. And women shouldn't always take it that way - Because some men just really don't know how to express themselves in any other way.. perhaps it is the caveman still in us..lol.
Guys, try to be more sensitive, it won't kill you or make you look stupid. Ladies, don't assume all men are pigs. Sure, there are a lot of piggy people out there these days.. both M and F. When in doubt about a comment, ask questions, get clarification - Just don't label and run. And for all of us, men and women, what do the actions of the other person say to us? Do words and actions line up in a good way?
And thirdly - I agree one should not speak or write passionately about someone via email on a dating site - Or to a person they have just met. Passion comes with time and is married to romance and strong feelings. In my opinion, if all three don't line up - It ain't real passion. | |
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